Current Events > This is fucked up.

(+) Yeah! (+)

AITAH for continuing to purposefully take a libido decreaser now that my wife has changed her mind?

My (39M) wife(40F) and I have been married 15 years. Had a fantastic sex life for 8-10yrs, but then we got busy with kids and employment and things sort of fizzled out to maybe once every 6-8 weeks.

My sex drive isnt crazy high but Ill be honest, 6-8 weeks was killing me. I felt like the list of things that had to be checked off on my wifes list to get things going was impossible to fulfill. I feel like the list would go on and on as new excuses and reasons were added on why she just wasnt down for anything.

I was by far the only initiator for the last few years and would get turned down 9 times out of 10. I work and my wife stays home with the kiddos which works well for us. I attempted discussions with her about the situation and asked what else she needed from me, how we could spice things up,what we could do to increase our romance and Intimacy etc. The answer was always just that she never really thought about sex anymore and wasnt all that interested.

I know its not my place to pressure her into things shes not comfortable with so after YEARS of this I eventually started to take care of myself and she found out one day and flipped out about it. We had a conversation and she requested I didnt do that. Im real non-confrontational so I agreed, albeit made me frustrated and mildly depressed that we couldnt come to a middle ground.

To make matters worse, I had different women at work come onto me very strongly in the middle of all this. I would never cheat but Id be lying if I said it didnt tempt me for a moment in my frustration.

Eventually I knew I needed to do something drastic to keep my marriage strong and I got with my doc and started taking a medicine that decreases my libido significantly. Ill be honestits been VERY freeing. Now I hardly ever think about sex. My wife however is angry that Im not physically coming after her and attempting to initiate etc like I did before. She asked me to stop taking it and I flat out refused. I LOVE that I dont feel negative about the situation anymore because it doesnt preoccupy my mind like it did before. I honestly dont ever want it to go back to how it was before. Am I being an A-hole by sticking with it?

Edit: This post has REALLY blown up. Was expecting maybe 3-5 comments total. I appreciate all the advice. Youve given me a lot to think about concerning my spouse, my marriage, and a lot of introspection. Both good and bad.

Now Im gonna go wank one!

https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/comments/ 1axeixe/aitah_for_continuing_to_purposefully_take_a/

Yea yea, it's on reddit so it's must be true!

It's really hard for me to understand people sometimes. Just taking the first part, if my fiance stopped fucking me, but also got pissed at me for beating off and wanted me to stop, the only way it ends with me stopping beating off is if she starts fucking me again. There's no way it ends with me medicating my libido away.

That is the fakest of the fake story subreddits

I don't doubt this is likely fake, but if it isn't, it sounds like the wife is the asshole in this scenario (assuming we got the whole story).

you barely have sex, you're not "allowed" to masturbate, and it's an issue that you medically lower your libido.

I couldn't imagine being with someone controlling like that.

This is dumb too, you don't believe how many people only see the more pile

99% of AITAH is fake and the responses are even more insufferable.

Just treat it like a thought experiment.

Wheres that meme with the sad husband saying Yes honey or whatever

Wait I'm confused.

His alleged wife "flipped out" when he "took care of himself", but he never cheated?

Did the wife freak out over him jerking it? What a weird story >_>

Prob fake but decreased libido is nice imo. I experience something similar (side effect of a drug i use atm lol). I feel like a diff person basically. In a good way

Umm did my post disappear or is the site lagging again

Kim_Seong-a posted...

Wait I'm confused.

His alleged wife "flipped out" when he "took care of himself", but he never cheated?

Did the wife freak out over him jerking it? What a weird story >_>

This story either fits or you all hate reddit

Ratchetrockon posted...

Umm did my post disappear or is the site lagging again

It lags.

shnangyboos posted...

It's really hard for me to understand people sometimes. Just taking the first part, if my fiance stopped fucking me, but also got pissed at me for beating off and wanted me to stop, the only way it ends with me stopping beating off is if she starts fucking me again. There's no way it ends with me medicating my libido away.

I mean, just because I have sex regularly doesnt mean I dont masturbate regularly too. But also, yes.

Did the readers hate him?

cjsdowg posted...

Did the readers hate him?

Uhhhh there is no law for "doesn't happen to me"

[LFAQs-redacted-quote]

It's a sign of a controlling, abusive relationship. Absolutely guaranteed that if a woman is doing this she's also abusing her husband in other ways. At the first mention of it you should be finding the nearest door and walking out of it.

ultimate_reaver posted...

That is the fakest of the fake story subreddits

Yeah we are supposed to believe he has this wife with impossible to meet criterion to have sex but she also won't allow him the masturbate and also instead of just hiding his masturbation he apparently got a prescription to make him not want to have sex (which is also not allowed but he decides to stand his ground on this apparently)? It's just a ridiculous scenario designed to make her out to be the most unreasonable person to ever exist (and probably doesn't even actually exist).

Everytime you guys post from this sub everyone points out how fake it is. Why even pretend these stories sound legitimate

That's depressing if true.

apocalyptic_4 posted...

That's depressing if true.

Only the part about libido suppressant is suspect. The rest is depressingly common.

Dancing around sex in a relationship is an awful feeling

https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/forum/2/2280f4b6.png

*shrug*

I can't say that I really give a fuck about other people's sex lives.