AITAH for continuing to purposefully take a libido decreaser now that my wife has changed her mind?
My (39M) wife(40F) and I have been married 15 years. Had a fantastic sex life for 8-10yrs, but then we got busy with kids and employment and things sort of fizzled out to maybe once every 6-8 weeks.
My sex drive isnt crazy high but Ill be honest, 6-8 weeks was killing me. I felt like the list of things that had to be checked off on my wifes list to get things going was impossible to fulfill. I feel like the list would go on and on as new excuses and reasons were added on why she just wasnt down for anything.
I was by far the only initiator for the last few years and would get turned down 9 times out of 10. I work and my wife stays home with the kiddos which works well for us. I attempted discussions with her about the situation and asked what else she needed from me, how we could spice things up,what we could do to increase our romance and Intimacy etc. The answer was always just that she never really thought about sex anymore and wasnt all that interested.
I know its not my place to pressure her into things shes not comfortable with so after YEARS of this I eventually started to take care of myself and she found out one day and flipped out about it. We had a conversation and she requested I didnt do that. Im real non-confrontational so I agreed, albeit made me frustrated and mildly depressed that we couldnt come to a middle ground.
To make matters worse, I had different women at work come onto me very strongly in the middle of all this. I would never cheat but Id be lying if I said it didnt tempt me for a moment in my frustration.
Eventually I knew I needed to do something drastic to keep my marriage strong and I got with my doc and started taking a medicine that decreases my libido significantly. Ill be honestits been VERY freeing. Now I hardly ever think about sex. My wife however is angry that Im not physically coming after her and attempting to initiate etc like I did before. She asked me to stop taking it and I flat out refused. I LOVE that I dont feel negative about the situation anymore because it doesnt preoccupy my mind like it did before. I honestly dont ever want it to go back to how it was before. Am I being an A-hole by sticking with it?
Edit: This post has REALLY blown up. Was expecting maybe 3-5 comments total. I appreciate all the advice. Youve given me a lot to think about concerning my spouse, my marriage, and a lot of introspection. Both good and bad.
Now Im gonna go wank one!
https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/comments/ 1axeixe/aitah_for_continuing_to_purposefully_take_a/
Yea yea, it's on reddit so it's must be true!