Current Events > Should your 24 yo child living at home pay rent?

(+) Yeah! (+)

depends on the situation

i personally don't believe this is a binary issue

I think posing this as a yes or no is silly, there are many different people and situations

MICHALECOLE posted...

I think posing this as a yes or no is silly, there are many different people and situations

They have a full time job, and go out every night

LiqiudusSnake posted...

They have a full time job, and go out every night

This still seems highly situational. Do their parents need assistance with rent? Do they even need him to help with household expenses?

I would never charge my babies rent.

That money would better serve going into a savings account to go towards getting a house of their own or a car.

If they are all NEET and just wanna get high all day on my dime, fuck ya they would be charged rent. I refuse to accept and enable a bum lifestyle for my kids.

Just about every other situation, no. I want them to have a successful life, I don't want their money.

They should help out if they can but it really depends on so many different factors.
LiqiudusSnake posted...

They have a full time job, and go out every night

They probably should, do the parents want the help? Maybe they know that their child is saving up to get a house of their own so they're not asking them for rent so they can get out of there ASAP

I would hope by 24 they have their shit together.

bladegash posted...

If they are all NEET and just wanna get high all day on my dime, fuck ya they would be charged rent. I refuse to accept and enable a bum lifestyle for my kids.

Just about every other situation, no. I want them to have a successful life, I don't want their money.

Basically this.

Depends on the situation doesn't it?

One thing I noticed about how society accepts different things:

For the very rich, it's never expected that the kids pay rent.
For the poor and working class, it seems conditional.
For middle class families... it's usually expected the kids pay rent.

Torgo posted...

Depends on the situation doesn't it?

One thing I noticed about how society accepts different things:

For the very rich, it's never expected that the kids pay rent.
For the poor and working class, it seems conditional.
For middle class families... it's usually expected the kids pay rent.

I dont know about that man. I grew up poor and I was kicked out at 16, just like my brothers were.

8f they have any outside income source yes. They should in some way be helping to support the household.

Like everyone said there's no correct answer for every situation. They should definitely be contributing to the household though, whether it's monetary, chores, or even handling appointments with contractors for home improvement projects.

I also like the idea of charging rent but putting it all into a savings account or something, then returning it when it's time to move out. Even for a particularly responsible kid that's good at saving money, it would help them keep their budgeting consistent when they do move out.

It depends.

Glob posted...

I dont know about that man. I grew up poor and I was kicked out at 16, just like my brothers were.

That's why I said it was conditional.

Around where I grew up, the poorer families were tighter and the kids would live and work out of their parent's homes until they got married, but us middle class kids were expected to have a job and pay for our own apartments if we weren't working to pay off personal expenses through college.

In cases where there was other issues in the family, yeah the poor kids would be forced out of the house early, where in abusive situations or whatever, middle class kids could generally be expected to be allowed to stick around until after high school.

I know people whose parents charged them rent, but put the money in a savings account for them to use as a deposit when they bought a house.

Seemed like a good idea to me.

Torgo posted...

That's why I said it was conditional.

Around where I grew up, the poorer families were tighter and the kids would live and work out of their parent's homes until they got married, but us middle class kids were expected to have a job and pay for our own apartments if we weren't working to pay off personal expenses through college.

In cases where there was other issues in the family, yeah the poor kids would be forced out of the house early, where in abusive situations or whatever, middle class kids could generally be expected to be allowed to stick around until after high school.

Maybe I just didnt read it the way you meant it. You started by saying it was conditional and then seemed to list it as if the conditions you were considering were limited to social class.

Apologies if thats not what you meant.

Im not about to sit here and financially support able bodied, mentally capable adults. When my kids are adults, its time to wind down my finances, so that my wife and I can retire comfortably and relatively young.

I live in Southeast Asia. If they live with their parents, they are generally expected to should shoulder some of the living expenses (primarily food, electricity, and water).

I didn't pay rent, but my income was available if or whenever they needed it.

mazingetter posted...

I live in Southeast Asia. If they live with their parents, they are generally expected to should shoulder some of the living expenses (primarily food, electricity, and water).

Arent households with more than 2 generations in them much more common in Southeast Asia though? They seem to be among the locals where I am. Obviously foreigners are a bit different.

If you're the sort to charge your kid rent, hope you're ready to have that same kid charge you back for daycare once you're too old to shower and wipe your own ass.

And if that's the sort of transactional relationship you want with your kid, well, knock yourself out. Can't see how that'd feel particularly fulfilling, though.

After I finished college, I got a job that was like 10 minutes of walking away from my parents' home.
Wasting money on getting another place would've been idiotic. Stayed with them for a couple more years until I got my own place.

Was paying for all my food and the internet/TV bills. Parents paid for electricity and water, but those are dirt cheap where I live. As in getting the fastest internet package costs the same as electricity bill on average.

Can't generalize people, but as someone not from the US, to me it seems that most Americans are way too cold and distant to their kids as soon as they turn 18. Not good for their long term relationship.

I fully agree with the sentiment that kids shouldn't be allowed to leech or expect everything is provided for them, but in today's housing and job market, a lot of young adults are left in shit situations and they need help to get back on track. If parents don't help them out, then they better not expect to be cared for when they're old and in need of assistance.

Philip027 posted...

If you're the sort to charge your kid rent, hope you're ready to have that same kid charge you back for daycare once you're too old to shower and wipe your own ass.

And if that's the sort of transactional relationship you want with your kid, well, knock yourself out. Can't see how that'd feel particularly fulfilling, though.

What about people who cant afford to keep their children for free indefinitely?

pnut027 posted...

Im not about to sit here and financially support able bodied, mentally capable adults. When my kids are adults, its time to wind down my finances, so that my wife and I can retire comfortably and relatively young.

A mortgage on a house is the same no matter how many people live in it. Food expenses will be a bit higher but I dont see them as something that really would have a material effect on retirement.

I do not plan on charging my girls rent or kicking them out.

Would never do unless really necessary. BUT I would make him responsible for some bill. Probably part of the electric bill.

But yeah, this should be the time for them to save. Fuck parents who charge rent without necessity.

Glob posted...

What about people who cant afford to keep their children for free indefinitely?

What does this mean? Would they go bankrupt or lose the house without their kids help?

if i know my kid is doing his best in school or finding a job but is struggling then he can stay, if hes just a lazy bum then im gonna give him a year max to get his shit together

Glob posted...

What about people who cant afford to keep their children for free indefinitely?

If you can't afford to house a kid you should probably have reconsidered having one in the first place.

But let's face it; you and I both know the majority of these people charging their kids rent aren't doing it because they have to. They're doing it because they feel like they can.

JuanCarlos1 posted...

What does this mean? Would they go bankrupt or lose the house without their kids help?

Maybe. I dont know. Im just asking in order to make sure I understand their position correctly.

Philip027 posted...

If you can't afford to house a kid you should probably have reconsidered having one in the first place.

But let's face it; you and I both know the majority of these people charging their kids rent aren't doing it because they have to. They're doing it because they feel like they can.

Well, if youve got grown up kids, then a huge amount of time has changed since you made that decision. Anything could happen in that time. What if, for example, a parent suffered an injury that made them disabled? Or worked in a profession which became automated?

Im not suggesting for a moment that all or even the majority of parents who charge their kids rent need to do so. Im just fairly sure that the number isnt 0.

Why am I being asked to make decisions for parents regarding their adult children?

Shouldn't this be 100% up to their discretion and everyone else should shut the fuck up?

On average yes.

Depends on various factors.

It's absolutely no one's business. This about western culture makes me cringe. Everyone is obsessed with kids living at home. Live your life. Who cares

Depends on the financial situation of the "kid" and the parents. Although regardless of the financial situations the "kid" should at least be expected to help with upkeep of the house, cooking their own meals, cleaning their own clothes etc.

I personally would at the very least pay enough I wasn't a burden financially. Make it so my presence wasn't felt money wise. Basically buy my own stuff and toss a little money to cover what I surely took up in electricity water etc.

I actually paid more than that but that basically was the agreement. I

Now I'm taking care of my mom. And I see it as nothing more than returning the favor. She looks out for me when I'm down ill do the same for her.

I'd never kick my kids out into this garbage economy. I'll make them get a job and save up money for a car and for a house.

I wouldn't demand a certain rent amount like a landlord because that's just dickish. Parents who kick their children out at 18 are also horrible, especially now. I'd expect them to contribute and help out as much as they can. If they don't have a job at the moment they could at least do housework and such. I was in that position at one point.

Philip027 posted...

If you're the sort to charge your kid rent, hope you're ready to have that same kid charge you back for daycare once you're too old to shower and wipe your own ass.

And if that's the sort of transactional relationship you want with your kid, well, knock yourself out. Can't see how that'd feel particularly fulfilling, though.

The great thing is that

1. I didnt charge them rent for when they were too young to wipe their own ass.
2. If I have to go to a daycare, I have money set aside for that.

Cuticrusader09 posted...

A mortgage on a house is the same no matter how many people live in it. Food expenses will be a bit higher but I dont see them as something that really would have a material effect on retirement.

I do not plan on charging my girls rent or kicking them out.

The money isnt the issue. My kids just arent going to be bums who dont think they dont have to contribute to resources they are using. Boomers and gen x already screwed that up for us. Our kids need to learn social, fiscal and environmental responsibility.

When the kids are grown, I plan to downsize the house. Currently we own a 5 bedroom, 3 bathroom home for us and our 4 kids. We dont need that once they are out of the house. I plan to retire early and a step towards that is not paying $2500/month for space we no longer need. I refuse to work until I die.

I think taking a fixed % of their earnings is the right way to do it.

When we have kids well just ask for 10% and stick it in a savings account for them and give it to them when they go to buy their first house.

Lobinde posted...

cooking their own meals, cleaning their own clothes etc.

I dont get this. Cooking for 2 vs 3 really isnt any extra work. Also for laundry. Throwing a few extra items in a wash cycle doesnt cost me any extra time. Them doing a load on their own does cost more electricity & water though.

Southernfatman posted...

I wouldn't demand a certain rent amount like a landlord because that's just dickish. Parents who kick their children out at 18 are also horrible, especially now.

Especially when young people, especially women, can end up in abusive situations when kicked out like that.

Glob posted...

Well, if youve got grown up kids, then a huge amount of time has changed since you made that decision. Anything could happen in that time. What if, for example, a parent suffered an injury that made them disabled? Or worked in a profession which became automated?

Disabilty insurance is available for a reason. Also why you pick up term life policies once you have kids.
As for jobs being automated. Jobs change all the time. You need to stay on top of it and keep picking up/learning skills. I remember how much shit was take a number from a print out and type it into a spreadsheet when I started working 25+ years ago. All that is automated. So many paper policiesnow all digital.

Parents' prerogative and not yours.

Only if they are a 24 year old bum with no job, or in school with no serious plans.

I'm not raising a bum with a side gig of being a leech.

Cuticrusader09 posted...

I dont get this. Cooking for 2 vs 3 really isnt any extra work. Also for laundry. Throwing a few extra items in a wash cycle doesnt cost me any extra time. Them doing a load on their own does cost more electricity & water though.

Especially when young people, especially women, can end up in abusive situations when kicked out like that.

Disabilty insurance is available for a reason. Also why you pick up term life policies once you have kids.
As for jobs being automated. Jobs change all the time. You need to stay on top of it and keep picking up/learning skills. I remember how much shit was take a number from a print out and type it into a spreadsheet when I started working 25+ years ago. All that is automated. So many paper policiesnow all digital.

So you really cant see how financial hardship can occur without having been anticipated 24 years in the past?

No, I think it is absurd to charge your kid rent. Helping out with utilities and bills is okay.

But I can't say. some 24 year olds are beginning a career or are at least trying. Some 24 year olds are lazy and have no job.

So, I guess I get it, but in general I don't like the idea. Some families could be poor and need that money to make rent, which is a necessity like chipping in for bills. If the parents dont need the money I feel like it's just harming their kid for no reason.

Depends, but my general answer is "yes". At the very least, they should be covering the additional expense of them being there.

pnut027 posted...

The money isnt the issue. My kids just arent going to be bums who dont think they dont have to contribute to resources they are using. Boomers and gen x already screwed that up for us. Our kids need to learn social, fiscal and environmental responsibility.

Sounds like youre stressed by the bills...and who wouldnt be with 4 kids. Also part of being a good parent is making sure they dont try to be bums and live off of you. You encourage them to spread their wings, but also offer them help when they need even its conditional.

My parents had me pay $50 at that age more out of principle.

Years later I knew another guy around that age (meaning he was younger than me) whose mom was charging him $500, but he was making over 40K at that point so I didn't exactly feel bad for him.

Living expenses should be shared if they're able to work.