Current Events > Leashing a toddler: yes or no?

(+) Yeah! (+)

Kloe_Rinz posted...

Like the food aisles where people are trying to shop?

malls these days in my area are used mostly for retired people to take walks or toddlers to play around in. Especially in the winter. But if it were a mall thats actually busy, then thats another story. But even then there are designated areas.

boomgetchopped3 posted...

malls these days in my area are used mostly for retired people to take walks or toddlers to play around in. Especially in the winter. But if it were a mall thats actually busy, then thats another story. But even then there are designated areas.

Parents still let their kids run screeching through the aisles even with designated areas. They CBF to take their kids to the designated area and then collect them before and after shopping. Again this is because theyve decided this course of action is necessary as implied earlier ITT

Kloe_Rinz posted...

Like the food aisles where people are trying to shop?

So what exactly do you want? Do you want kids to run around and potentially be nuisances, or would you rather they have a harness so they don't stray too far from the parent that could actually discipline them? Because you're complaining about both.

Kloe_Rinz posted...

Are you saying good parents allow their kids to run and scream in a mall just because they felt it was necessary?

I'm not saying anything yet.

I'm pointing out that you're bothered by kids running around being kids. You're bothered by toddlers being restrained by a leash. You're bothered by kids being quiet watching a smartphone or tablet.

So if a kid is acting up what do you think the parents should do?

Speaking of which do you take notice of all the times the toddlers and kids are just walking around or sitting quietly?

Tenlaar posted...

If your constant miserable outlook was limited to the attempted eradication of queer people you wouldn't be in this topic being a miserable curmudgeon about some people using a harness to keep their kids from running off or even just taking their kids out in public. You're upset about literally everything at all times. It must be exhausting.

You're just mad that I call out your worthless opinions.

I just think the leash is unsafe and dehumanizing and can be a substitution for parenting for some parents.

And I can't believe people actually disagree with me that it's wrong for any aged human to be disruptive towards others or inconvenience them. I don't blame the small children. Their parents are likely some of the many rude adults who don't respect boundaries and think they're the main character.

Forgive me for caring too much about everyone. I'll say it again. It literally is a flaw of mine. I would love to care less.

MorganTJ posted...

So what exactly do you want? Do you want kids to run around and potentially be nuisances, or would you rather they have a harness so they don't stray too far from the parent that could actually discipline them? Because you're complaining about both.

Why cant parents watch their kids? All Im saying is the people saying parents know best are absolutely wrong because a ton of parents are fucking dumb, lazy and dont care about their kids. Hence the tik Tok tablets, running down the aisles screaming, leashed to a post in the front yard while watching soaps, locked in rooms to die during fires etc. all fucking terrible parenting objectively. Leashing your kid in public is just another thing I put under that same banner for obvious reasons

Here's the thing for anyone who judges a toddler's behaviour or that the parent has taken the easy method or whatever.

You are getting a positively miniscule look at their life. Their day didn't start in the shop or the restaurant. It started the very first minute they woke up. Assuming that everyone had a good night sleep to begin with.

Getting a toddler ready for the day is hard work. Feeding them is hard work. Figuring out their sleep schedule for the day is hard work. Figuring out to regulate their emotions and feelings is hard work. It is work that has to be done every single day of that childs life. There are good days and there are bad days. That's life.

If you do not have kids of your own you do not fucking know. You don't get it. Accept that.

For all you know that kid is on a leash because of ADD. For all you know that kid is in the iPad because they have autism and crowds are over stimulating.

It's easy to judge. But you don't fucking know. Shut the fuck up and move on with your life. They can't. You're just a different type of busy body know it all you're all so happy to whine about when people judge what you're going through.

Punished_Blinx posted...

Here's the thing for anyone who judges a toddler's behaviour or that the parent has taken the easy method or whatever.

You are getting a positively miniscule look at their life. Their day didn't start in the shop or the restaurant. It started the very first minute they woke up. Assuming that everyone had a good night sleep to begin with.

Getting a toddler ready for the day is hard work. Feeding them is hard work. Figuring out their sleep schedule for the day is hard work. Figuring out to regulate their emotions and feelings is hard work. It is work that has to be done every single day of that childs life. There are good days and there are bad days. That's life.

If you do not have kids of your own you do not fucking know. You don't get it. Accept that.

For all you know that kid is on a leash because of ADD. For all you know that kid is in the iPad because they have autism and crowds are over stimulating.

It's easy to judge. But you don't fucking know. Shut the fuck up and move on with your life. They can't. You're just a different type of busy body know it all you're all so happy to whine about when people judge what you're going through.

Well said.

I thought people stopped doing that in the 90s.

Kloe_Rinz posted...

Why cant parents watch their kids?

Because "Watch their kid" literally isn't an answer. If a kid wants to run around, they're going to run around. And then the parent is going to have to stop them. And then the kid will probably run around again, and the parent will have to stop them again, possibly discipline them to get them to stop, whatever. And it goes on.

"Why can't parents watch their kids?" is something people who have absolutely zero experience with kids say because it's an easy answer to give with literally zero thought behind it.

Sometimes, a parent has to take a kid shopping with them, or whatever else, because they couldn't get a babysitter, or couldn't afford one, or whatever. And, believe it or not, but it's literally impossible to do something like shop while literally keeping your eye on your kid the entire time without blinking. So, instead of risking the chance of the kid running off, they use a harness, because that's literally why they are made.

You don't know what the parent is like, or the kid. You don't know why they may be on a harness, or in a stroller, or whatever else. You. Don't. Know. Just assuming "They must be a terrible person if the kid is on a harness," while also turning around and going "Parents who have kids that run around are the worst!" is just an utterly stupid judgment to make, not to mention contradictory, since you judge them for using a solution (a harness) in the first place.

Punished_Blinx posted...

Here's the thing for anyone who judges a toddler's behaviour or that the parent has taken the easy method or whatever.

You are getting a positively miniscule look at their life. Their day didn't start in the shop or the restaurant. It started the very first minute they woke up. Assuming that everyone had a good night sleep to begin with.

Getting a toddler ready for the day is hard work. Feeding them is hard work. Figuring out their sleep schedule for the day is hard work. Figuring out to regulate their emotions and feelings is hard work. It is work that has to be done every single day of that childs life. There are good days and there are bad days. That's life.

If you do not have kids of your own you do not fucking know. You don't get it. Accept that.

For all you know that kid is on a leash because of ADD. For all you know that kid is in the iPad because they have autism and crowds are over stimulating.

It's easy to judge. But you don't fucking know. Shut the fuck up and move on with your life. They can't. You're just a different type of busy body know it all you're all so happy to whine about when people judge what you're going through.

But you don't know that either. Just because you may be a parent doesn't mean you know what other parents do. They might really just be crappy parents failing at raising their kids. We can only judge people by what they show to us. If a patient yells at me at work, I'm gonna look at the information in front of me and make a determination about their character.

hockeybub89 posted...

We can only judge people by what they show to us.

Or, and, follow me here, since this is apparently really difficult for you, but...

Maybe we just shouldn't be judging people that we don't know at all, when we have literally no information or knowledge about them?

Bass posted...

It looks dumb as hell, but it's better than losing your kid.

GeraldDarko posted...

What do I care? It's not cruel. Do whatever.

These two quotes pretty much sum up my opinion. These days, it's too easy to lose a child. As long as the parent isn't hurting the child, it's acceptable.

This topic explains so much.

i do this all of the time. at supermarkets, at church, and at the parks. don't care what others think. its nobody elses business how i raise my children.

hockeybub89 posted...

But you don't know that either. Just because you may be a parent doesn't mean you know what other parents do. They might really just be crappy parents failing at raising their kids. We can only judge people by what they show to us. If a patient yells at me at work, I'm gonna look at the information in front of me and make a determination about their character.

I'm not saying I know. That's the point. Why would I assume the worst? What I do know is how hard it is and that we all have bad days no matter how good a parent is.

These people aren't yelling at you. They aren't doing anything to you. They're not taking their kids out to put on a show for you. You do not matter to them in any way and they shouldn't matter to you in any way either. You don't know them. You don't know anything about them or their kid. You don't know what they're doing, what they've been doing and what they plan on doing.

What makes you think you have the knowledge or experience or wisdom to judge anyone 'failing to raise their kids' because something on a surface level bothers you?

Punished_Blinx posted...

I'm not saying I know. That's the point. Why would I assume the worst? What I do know is how hard it is and that we all have bad days no matter how good a parent is.

These people aren't yelling at you. They aren't doing anything to you. They're not taking their kids out to put on a show for you. You do not matter to them in any way and they shouldn't matter to you in any way either. You don't know them. You don't know anything about them or their kid. You don't know what they're doing, what they've been doing and what they plan on doing.

What makes you think you have the knowledge or experience or wisdom to judge anyone 'failing to raise their kids' because something on a surface level bothers you?

Theres no scenario where letting them run through the aisles screeching is necessary. Thats always bad parenting. No exceptions. Theres other cases like that. Its very easy to make a judgement of a person based on their action or inaction. Youre right that in some cases you cant judge them, but bad parents are far more common than parents trying their best with a child with a condition

Kloe_Rinz posted...

Theres no scenario where letting them run through the aisles screeching is necessary. Thats always bad parenting. No exceptions. Theres other cases like that. Its very easy to make a judgement of a person based on their action or inaction. Youre right that in some cases you cant judge them, but bad parents are far more common

And yet you oppose a solution. So what do you propose? And don't say "watch your kid," because that's a meaningless answer.

StealThisSheen posted...

And yet you oppose a solution. So what do you propose? And don't say "watch your kid," because that's a meaningless answer.

A leash is just as much a non-answer as locking the kid in their room or tying them to a stake in the back yard

Kloe_Rinz posted...

A leash is just as much a non-answer as locking the kid in their room or tying them to a stake in the back yard

How? Explain the logic on that one, please. You still haven't done that, you just keep repeating it.

Why is a stroller okay, but a harness isn't? Why is making them hold your hand okay, but a harness isn't?

Kloe_Rinz posted...

Theres no scenario where letting them run through the aisles screeching is necessary. Thats always bad parenting. No exceptions. Theres other cases like that. Its very easy to make a judgement of a person based on their action or inaction. Youre right that in some cases you cant judge them, but bad parents are far more common than parents trying their best with a child with a condition

So is putting them on an iPad or putting a leash on them right? Every scenario is bad parenting unless they're walking calmly next to their parent or sitting in the trolley looking at the shops?

You know what? If they're not getting in anyone's way or purposefully bothering anyone it's not the end of the world if they go for an excited run. They're a kid. If you don't want them stuck on an iPad maybe it's okay to accept them being one.

You also have no idea how common bad parents are. How often do you take notice of well behaved kids? Doubt you'd even notice them at all. You're not gonna commend them for that are you?

archizzy posted...

Leash and preferably muzzle the little noisemakers. Im all for it.

A muzzle is too much. They just need an electroshock dog collar set to the volume of their screams.

xGhostchantx posted...

I edit sooo frequently it gets confusing for me too, don't worry; but you've clearly never had a child and I sincerely hope you never do and in the event that you do, not a terrorist toddler because they're extremely fucking difficult to deal with. If it's on a shelf and she's close, it's on the floor. At the supermarket. At the department store. At home. Everywhere. Is there a road? She's on it. Why? Because she wants to be. Try to lift her off it? Screaming and kicking and crying. My only sure fire way to keep her alive and not destroying shit I would then have to pay for, I had to bring the harness out. If stopping her from running onto the road needs a leash, I'm gonna fucking use a leash because I don't want my child to die or be destroying shit. It takes less than a god damn second for a toddler to run off and I am not ever going to risk that. Ever. Ever ever ever ever ever.

Maybe you should. But follow her out of her sight. Eventually she'll realize you aren't there and become very frightened. After seeing her panic a bit, step forward to rescue her.

I can almost guarantee she won't run off again. Her experience with that fear will be a reminder to her.

My grandparents did it to my mother, and she never ran off after that experience. And my parents did it with me... and I never ran off afterwards. That fear of having lost your parents is one of the very few memories I still have of being 2 years old.

That and feeding ducks at the local duck pond.

hockeybub89 posted...

Except they're out in public with an unruly baby that they are certain will die tragically if not leashed

Babies can't walk. If they can, then they are a toddler.

008Zulu posted...

If the toddler is prone to walking off, sure.

I saw a lot if this at one of the retail places I shop at, lots of these children seem to want to wonder off which is why this happens.

I was leashed as a toddler because I deserved it

Limiting it to children with special needs\disabilities ONLY is a cruel idea. Last thing a kid needs is not understand why everyone else has no harness except other kids like them. It is better off for everyone that it's an all or nothing. Harness can/should be used by anyone and everyone that feels it is necessary to do so in order to keep their kid safe.

why is it okay to leash a dog but not a child? I have no kid, but I don't see the problem with it, people are over reacting and thinking, what cruel parent would treat their kid like an animal? I think it's wierd that you see treating a human like a pet is cruel but treating a pet like human is cute. If wearing a harness means kids live are saved... Id rather a kid be alive with a harness, than dead on the floor because people told the parent to stop being cruel.

Face it, not everyone is a good parent, and you cant go report every single parent you see unless its your job. Would you rather see more children on leashes or more dead chidlren in the news?

StealThisSheen posted...

This is nothing new. Is this supposed to be controversial?

yeah this, how have people never heard / seen of harnesses like this before

Usual suspects with the shittiest takes

KookyCouture posted...

yeah this, how have people never heard / seen of harnesses like this before?

It's for safety in crowded in places, near busy roads, they are not in them all day every day

I don't think I've seen one in the wild in probably 15-20 years

Kloe_Rinz posted...

A leash is just as much a non-answer as locking the kid in their room or tying them to a stake in the back yard

There is absolutely nothing wrong with a leash. Unlike those other things, it isn't anywhere near child abuse. It gives the child a bit more freedom than constantly holding their hand or making them stay in a stroller while still providing some safety.

StealThisSheen posted...

Or, and, follow me here, since this is apparently really difficult for you, but...

Maybe we just shouldn't be judging people that we don't know at all, when we have literally no information or knowledge about them?

That isn't how life works. Everyone is being judged every time they interact in public. Do as little as you can to negatively impact anyone.

Punished_Blinx posted...

I'm not saying I know. That's the point. Why would I assume the worst? What I do know is how hard it is and that we all have bad days no matter how good a parent is.

These people aren't yelling at you. They aren't doing anything to you. They're not taking their kids out to put on a show for you. You do not matter to them in any way and they shouldn't matter to you in any way either. You don't know them. You don't know anything about them or their kid. You don't know what they're doing, what they've been doing and what they plan on doing.

What makes you think you have the knowledge or experience or wisdom to judge anyone 'failing to raise their kids' because something on a surface level bothers you?

I'm not an expert, but you just kind of have to figure out for yourself whether this looks like a bad day or a consistent problem. Taking a poorly behaving child out can be an inconvenience for everyone. I wouldn't want to see an adult running around and being loud.

And that's the problem. People forget that our personal lives don't matter to strangers, so keep things quiet and personal in public.

hockeybub89 posted...

That isn't how life works. Everyone is being judged every time they interact in public. Do as little as you can to negatively impact anyone.

Most people mind their own business.

I'm not an expert,

But I bet that won't stop you treating us to the full majesty of what you vaguely reckon.

but you just kind of have to figure out for yourself whether this looks like a bad day or a consistent problem.

Thought not.

Taking a poorly behaving child out can be an inconvenience for everyone. I wouldn't want to see an adult running around and being loud.

So you think that adults with certain physiological/mental conditions that give them poor impulse control should be locked away from the public?

JFC y'all are still going? I had time to go to sleep and wake back up

hockeybub89 posted...

That isn't how life works. Everyone is being judged every time they interact in public. Do as little as you can to negatively impact anyone.

That may be how you operate, but not everyone cares that much about what strangers think about them. There's a whole lot of levels in between "disruptive asshole" and "never bother anyone ever."

I'm not an expert, but you just kind of have to figure out for yourself whether this looks like a bad day or a consistent problem. Taking a poorly behaving child out can be an inconvenience for everyone. I wouldn't want to see an adult running around and being loud.

Right, so just keep your kids locked inside forever because you don't want to inconvenience anyone. Do you get how crazy that sounds? And a child doesn't even have to be poorly behaved. Some kids just wander off sometimes.

And that's the problem. People forget that our personal lives don't matter to strangers, so keep things quiet and personal in public.

Nah, that's a you problem. Almost like the mentality of "children should be seen, not heard" has carried on into adulthood

Kloe_Rinz posted...

Why cant parents watch their kids? All Im saying is the people saying parents know best are absolutely wrong because a ton of parents are fucking dumb, lazy and dont care about their kids. Hence the tik Tok tablets, running down the aisles screaming, leashed to a post in the front yard while watching soaps, locked in rooms to die during fires etc. all fucking terrible parenting objectively. Leashing your kid in public is just another thing I put under that same banner for obvious reasons

weird that you haven't been able to point out a single 'obvious reason' why harnessing kids in public is bad tho like anyone else itt who has been against it. if your argument is 'i don't like the way it looks' congrats, you are clearly not a parent and you have no conception about how parents or kids work and you have no argument.

Literally no one has said why they are bad. And it's telling how some of their arguments make it sound like they flat out hate kids in general. They don't want kids to be running around doing whatever, but they also don't want solutions to kids running around and doing whatever. And they somehow think locking a kid up in the house is better for the child (or maybe they think it inconveniences them (the complainers) less and they don't actually give a fuck about the child? Hmmm).

I had a coworker that was an absolute sociopath and we thought he might be the Gilgo beach killer.

One day during a company softball league game, he shows up with a family that looks out of witness protection and his kid on a leash.

Sometimes people act exactly as you'd expect.

NoxObscuras posted...

JFC y'all are still going? I had time to go to sleep and wake back up

That may be how you operate, but not everyone cares that much about what strangers think about them. There's a whole lot of levels in between "disruptive asshole" and "never bother anyone ever."

Right, so just keep your kids locked inside forever because you don't want to inconvenience anyone. Do you get how crazy that sounds? And a child doesn't even have to be poorly behaved. Some kids just wander off sometimes.

Nah, that's a you problem. Almost like the mentality of "children should be seen, not heard" has carried on into adulthood

When the fuck did we start being okay with people being disruptive in public? I just don't believe in rudeness and bothering others. That's controversial and offensive?

The only thing I was taught was to not be rude. I was a naturally quiet child, far moreso than my younger siblings.

And again, I don't blame the kids, so I can't hate them.

ai123 posted...

Most people mind their own business.

But I bet that won't stop you treating us to the full majesty of what you vaguely reckon.

Thought not.

So you think that adults with certain physiological/mental conditions that give them poor impulse control should be locked away from the public?

It's hard to mind your own business when people are making their business public? No one should form opinions on other people because no one can read minds and know the entire life story behind that moment in time? Being a parent is irrelevant.

All I said was keep everyone in mind. If someone feels they need to "lock people away" to navigate public properly, then that's a them problem.

Punished_Blinx posted...

Are you with many kids all day to know that?

Why are you defending the use of iPads and excessive use of phones? @Punished_Blinx I'm gonna ping you because this is incredibly angering that you would do this and used "I'm a parent so my opinion holds more weight" previously in this topic.

We are on a game forum and I can bet most of us weren't allowed to play our Gameboys at the dinner table when we were kids. Yet my all my friends who have kids let them use their phones at a restaurant. This is going to have a detrimental effect on their ability to focus, their attention span, and their ability to pay attention. You can't be making excuses for the consequences that will come from this.

A lot of toddler hate ITT.

Apparently I was leashed for some period during my early childhood. I'm 42 and I only found this out a few weeks ago. My parents never brought it up before

Sad_Face posted...

"I'm a parent so my opinion holds more weight"

Kinda crazy how consistently the actual parents in this topic seem to be in agreement with one another on the use of devices and leashes while the foreveralones feel another way

Sad_Face posted...

Why are you defending the use of iPads and excessive use of phones? @Punished_Blinx I'm gonna ping you because this is incredibly angering that you would do this and used "I'm a parent so my opinion holds more weight" previously in this topic.

We are on a game forum and I can bet most of us weren't allowed to play our Gameboys at the dinner table when we were kids. Yet my all my friends who have kids let them use their phones at a restaurant. This is going to have a detrimental effect on their ability to focus, their attention span, and their ability to pay attention. You can't be making excuses for the consequences that will come from this.

Where did you get a psychology degree from?

Some kids do need them. Nothing wrong with it, people need to do what they gotta do. Better safe than sorry if the kid takes off and ends up missing

People do the best they can. Its a relatively harmless measure.

Sad_Face posted...

Why are you defending the use of iPads and excessive use of phones? @Punished_Blinx I'm gonna ping you because this is incredibly angering that you would do this and used "I'm a parent so my opinion holds more weight" previously in this topic.

We are on a game forum and I can bet most of us weren't allowed to play our Gameboys at the dinner table when we were kids. Yet my all my friends who have kids let them use their phones at a restaurant. This is going to have a detrimental effect on their ability to focus, their attention span, and their ability to pay attention. You can't be making excuses for the consequences that will come from this.

I never said anything about excessive use. This topic is about judging random strangers from brief observations.

Of course it's bad if kids can't make a single dinner without an iPad. But I don't know any random family enough to make that judgement. For all I know that's the first dinner they've had out in a year and they had to use their last resort. There's no reason for me to assume anything.

Personally I don't let my kids ever watch phones or iPads when having dinner out. We've been able to handle it fine (although we've had to finish up quickly when they were really little).

But I also am friends with a couple who has an autistic son and he can barely handle a birthday party without one so far. People like them get judged all the time and it fucking sucks. It's hard enough as is for them without the feeling of people judging.

Personally as a kid I remember having to sit around in a pub for hours while my parents drank and begged to use a Game Boy. Time felt like an eternity. I remember what it felt like as a kid and feeling the wait of every minute. So I'm sympathetic in that regard as well and being forced to sit around while my parents had fun isn't a positive memory for me.

But the real issue here is this constant assumptions and judgements made about parenting. I said don't judge kids on an iPad when you see them as you don't know the full story. Automatically you assume I'm talking about excessive use and call me into question . This sorta shit happens all the time. It leads to parents to stop giving a shit about what people think even if what they are doing is actually bad. People will judge them anyway.