Current Events > Are you 30+ years old and still single?

(+) Yeah! (+)

You guys DO know that not every woman wants kids, right?

My partner and I have been together for 17 years, living together for 11 of those years and we are dedicated to living a fun, rich life without kids, together.

We don't get in each others' way, we're best friends and just hang out playing video games or watching youtube, or exercising together.

Don't hold yourself to such low standards; there are cool ppl out there.

And yes, you should read a goddamn book every now and then. No cool person wants to date a boring dum dum who never has a thought in their brain.

Robot2600 posted...

You guys DO know that not every woman wants kids, right?

Yeah, it seems that most of gamefaqs does not know this. I know plenty of women with no desire to have kids.

Also, kudos on your relationship

Robot2600 posted...

You guys DO know that not every woman wants kids, right?

Oh absolutely, there's even an app that touts itself as "the dating app for a kid-free relationship"

I've been single for three years now and have been dating different women ever since. I want a committed relationship but I got really picky after the last one. I decided that I'm not settling down with any woman having an identity crises, which automatically makes it slim pickings. But women over 30 usually have it more figured out than those under 30.

Sackgurl posted...

usually though it is tied to status/accomplishments

i got 100% on Snake Pass

TheOnionKnight posted...

Not in my experience. I'm a fairly poor dude without a very high social status, but I've still been able to get a steady stream of fuck buddies over the years. And my girlfriend doesn't mind that I'm not pulling in tons of cash right now either, because we have fun together! That's really the main thing.

this just sounds like you are generally a virtuous person >_>

viewmaster_pi posted...

i got 100% on Snake Pass

hey you !

Robot2600 posted...

And yes, you should read a goddamn book every now and then. No cool person wants to date a boring dum dum who never has a thought in their brain.

what? lol

Single now but I've never really worried about not finding anyone. Thankfully I've never developed a incel mindset towards dating its more of a choice not to right now.

Dating apps and meeting people IRL has been a method for getting dates.

This topic legit made me sad. I really do underestimate how hard it is for some guys.

I never really understood *why* it was so unreachable, but that's moot.

I really do feel for some of yall...only 1 romantic relationship since '97?! gahdamn!

Only 24 here, but I've always been single and most likely always will be.

I have a super boring personality, have zero social skills, and can't even make regular friends. I'm mediocre in terms of appearance, but I doubt that's the main thing holding me back.

It's hard for me to even care about my own future when I have no one to share it with.

LordOfTheCats posted...

I have a super boring personality, have zero social skills, and can't even make regular friends.

This is the issue for sure. But the good thing is that you can work on this and improve it. I have seen plenty of guys in your shoes improve, make friends, and start relationships.

LordOfTheCats posted...

Only 24 here, but I've always been single and most likely always will be.

I have a super boring personality, have zero social skills, and can't even make regular friends. I'm mediocre in terms of appearance, but I doubt that's the main thing holding me back.

It's hard for me to even care about my own future when I have no one to share it with

You're still young boyo.

I'm 35 currently single,not interested in looking atm. Working on personal improvements that I told myself I would do,when I finally got to where I'm at.

Umbreon posted...

It's never too late.

Anyone who tries to tell you otherwise is a foreveraloner. Don't give up like they have.

(Granted there's little hope for the people who have 50+ banned accounts on ab ancient website...)

Sorry, but I can of agree with most everyone on here. After around maybe 35, it's "mostly" only single parents who are available. Somehow, I look back and think Tom Leykis was correct about some single parents. More trouble than it's worth.

You wouldn't be much of a priority to your significant other and you would have to take care of the children that aren't yours unless you go the "nacho parenting" route. It's quite a thankless job that rewards you for absolutely nothing.

Truth be told, if you missed the boat from 25 to 30, then I would not recommend not boarding the second boat unless that's all fine to you as it's full of baby sharks. (No pun intended.)

Slowking199 posted...

it's "mostly" only single parents who are available

Not true at all. Unless by mostly, you simply mean the majority. I have dated plenty of 30 something women with no kids, some of whom never want any.

And even if you are in one of those more rural areas where you might be more correct, you can always date younger. I am 45 and my gf is 30, been together for 2 years.

Edit: waiting for Mr_Hulk88 to pop in and say I am boasting again...

Jesus Christ, the emotional burden some of yall are trying to dump on a woman. Ill kill myself if I dont get one???? You can not be surprised youre single with that mindset. What person would want to get involved with someone like that?

Looking for happiness outside of ones self is understandable, but making it your entire reason to exist is not healthy and is enormously unfair to any woman who gives you a chance.

Kind of hard to get a woman when you are a short, stocky, slow-witted bald man.

B18Champ posted...

Kind of hard to get a woman when you are a short, stocky, slow-witted bald man.

George had plenty of relationships. Try doing the exact opposite of your instincts

I just turned 38. Virgin and have never even attempted to even ask someone out on a date.

Took me until I was in my 30s that I was aromantic. I love being alone so at least my malfunctioning brain gave me that.

My most serious, and longest relationship was with a chick who is physically unable to have children, and she left me for some guy with kids and a whole preset family... I honestly don't know what the fuck to do with myself now

TritochZERO posted...

My most serious, and longest relationship was with a chick who is physically unable to have children, and she left me for some guy with kids and a whole preset family... I honestly don't know what the fuck to do with myself now

That sucks, man. But all you can do is move on. There are other women out there.

MedeaLysistrata posted...

this just sounds like you are generally a virtuous person >_>

I don't know about virtuous. Guess it depends on the standards being used. But I do try to put out positive energy. You want partners to have a good time when you're around!

Still? No I've been in relationships. Currently yes as I kinda stopped giving a fuck and that apparently shows

Reading this topic was sad , but some of you make dating sound harder than it really is. If I could find a partner , anyone can. Some of you are giving up way too easily.

BaphometFlux posted...

but some of you make dating sound harder than it really is. If I could find a partner , anyone can.

A lifetime of failure says otherwise. Judging by the posts here, it's multiple lifetimes.

KogaSteelfang posted...

A lifetime of failure says otherwise. Judging by the posts here, it's multiple lifetimes.

That should indicate trying a new strategy. Idk how often that has happened

KogaSteelfang posted...

A lifetime of failure says otherwise. Judging by the posts here, it's multiple lifetimes.

I know I'm just a broken record at this point, but have you ever tried psychedelics? If we were actually talking in person, I'd seriously offer to trip-sit for you. I cannot overstate what a difference it made for my self-esteem and my social life.

Lets not do drugs

DuranOfForcena posted...

a long time ago, doing psychedelics helped me get over my fear of the dark, but tbh i don't see what it would do for someone who has trouble connecting with people and forming romantic relationships

They did just that for me! I had a very negative self-image and lots of emotional issues bottled up, which created a distorted perception of my place in the world. I had unhealthy ideas about what I "didn't deserve" in terms of connections with other people. Psychedelics helped me work through these issues and drastically improved my life. I'm not suggesting them as party drugs or anything like that, but as serious self-reflective therapy. And romance-wise, I also have a ton more sex nowadays than I ever did before.

I mix up my lunch, breakfast, and dinner ladies regularly

TheOnionKnight posted...

I know I'm just a broken record at this point, but have you ever tried psychedelics? If we were actually talking in person, I'd seriously offer to trip-sit for you. I cannot overstate what a difference it made for my self-esteem and my social life.

Sorry, not interested in that.

KogaSteelfang posted...

Sorry, not interested in that.

Understandable, but I had to try! If you ever change your mind any time in the future and want to PM me about it, feel free. Even months/years from now or whenever. And if not, I still hope things improve. I don't post a ton on CE compared to other people, but you seem pretty cool from what I've seen around here.

[LFAQs-redacted-quote]

I think the real takeaway is that people in general suck. A large friend group or romantic and sexual success don't mean a thing. I have relatives who do well for themselves socially, but on the inside are cold, dead husks.

KogaSteelfang posted...

A lifetime of failure says otherwise. Judging by the posts here, it's multiple lifetimes.

Non-forever alones have absolutely no idea how soul-crushing it is. And, like, good for them, but if they really knew what it was like, theyd be singing different tunes.

35.
Never had any kind of ~friend romantically, and the whole thing is questionable to me.

I have had people confess interest in me in the past. In fact, someone confessed to me just a couple of weeks ago.

But..........
To be with someone, you limit so much of life. If I was with someone, I wouldn't be able to take the trips I have and plan them the way I do. I wouldn't have as much me-time and I like it a lot.

The only thing I hate is not having someone to cuddle with at night (Not in a sexual way). Otherwise, I don't honestly care.

rexcrk posted...

Non-forever alones have absolutely no idea how soul-crushing it is. And, like, good for them, but if they really knew what it was like, theyd be singing different tunes.

Most of us are just trying to give you hope. And we sometimes offer advice that rarely is taken seriously.

We're Cake -_-

Sayoria posted...

To be with someone, you limit so much of life. If I was with someone, I wouldn't be able to take the trips I have and plan them the way I do. I wouldn't have as much me-time and I like it a lot.

This is still kinda how I feel. I definitely need me-time, where I can get away from people and just do my own thing. And I got very comfortable in that zone in my early 20s. But that's one of those things I started to unpack, and realized that some of it was a sort of self-imposed barrier. I also had and still have trust issues, which contributed too.

But it doesn't have to be a trade-off. You can find partners who respect your need for privacy and also need me-time themselves. And then you can get those cuddles when you want them, and still have time alone when you want that too. I usually see my current girlfriend a few days each week, but in between I've got everything to myself!

Sayoria posted...

35.
Never had any kind of ~friend romantically, and the whole thing is questionable to me.

I have had people confess interest in me in the past. In fact, someone confessed to me just a couple of weeks ago.

But..........
To be with someone, you limit so much of life. If I was with someone, I wouldn't be able to take the trips I have and plan them the way I do. I wouldn't have as much me-time and I like it a lot.

The only thing I hate is not having someone to cuddle with at night (Not in a sexual way). Otherwise, I don't honestly care.

Well, you sound asexual, so that might be part of the apathy. But the desire for cuddling shows some interest in a partner.

Also, the limiting thing is not at all true if you find the right person. I plan trips and can do what I want, and my fiance appreciates that I figure it out. She knows I will plan a fun trip. I also get plenty of me time and friend time without her, as she wants her own time as well.

Dating apps are a terrible way to find people but shy/introverted men will continue to rely on them because its most comfortable to them. I watched my female friend go through profiles on Hinge, and she passed over many decent looking men with good jobs, etc just cause.

Men who are successful with women go out of their way and out of their comfort zone. They learn to deal with rejection and continue to try. They try other methods like meet ups, striking up conversations, etc Which is commendable really. Dating is freaking hard. But many men who arent successful havent tried anything beyond what theyre comfortable with. Which is either nothing or hiding behind an app and hoping for the best.

Cleo_II posted...

Dating apps are a terrible way to find people but shy/introverted men will continue to rely on them because its most comfortable to them. I watched my female friend go through profiles on Hinge, and she passed over many decent looking men with good jobs, etc just cause.

Men who are successful with women go out of their way and out of their comfort zone. They learn to deal with rejection and continue to try. They try other methods like meet ups, striking up conversations, etc Which is commendable really. Dating is freaking hard. But many men who arent successful havent tried anything beyond what theyre comfortable with. Which is either nothing or hiding behind an app and hoping for the best.

Don't you think it's a bit weird to do all just to get a gf though. It just seems like a bad foundation for doing all that stuff in the first place... Which is why I am skeptical. Every time I meet new people I will be trying to think of the prospects for dating.

And then if you don't make it your focus it probably won't happen. So the issue is just about doing things in good faith for me.

Cleo_II posted...

Dating apps are a terrible way to find people but shy/introverted men will continue to rely on them because its most comfortable to them. I watched my female friend go through profiles on Hinge, and she passed over many decent looking men with good jobs, etc just cause.

Men who are successful with women go out of their way and out of their comfort zone. They learn to deal with rejection and continue to try. They try other methods like meet ups, striking up conversations, etc Which is commendable really. Dating is freaking hard. But many men who arent successful havent tried anything beyond what theyre comfortable with. Which is either nothing or hiding behind an app and hoping for the best.

Your second paragraph is spot on, but I can't agree with the first. I know enough people who have had success, myself included, to know they can work. I always say the best course is dating apps plus everything you said. No reason to focus on online vs offline.

bsp77 posted...

Well, you sound asexual, so that might be part of the apathy. But the desire for cuddling shows some interest in a partner.

Also, the limiting thing is not at all true if you find the right person. I plan trips and can do what I want, and my fiance appreciates that I figure it out. She knows I will plan a fun trip. I also get plenty of me time and friend time without her, as she wants her own time as well.

Yeah I dont get all of these posts about wanting to take trips whenever. Like are they going on trips every day? Its not much different to plan a trip with a spouse. Ive been going where I want and doing what I want. I go out with friends and my husband has never been bothered by it or asked me when Im coming home. I dont generally go out late (by choice) but when I do he just asks me if I had a good time.

Cleo_II posted...

Yeah I dont get all of these posts about wanting to take trips whenever. Like are they going on trips every day? Its not much different to plan a trip with a spouse. Ive been going where I want and doing what I want. I go out with friends and my husband has never been bothered by it or asked me when Im coming home. I dont generally go out late (by choice) but when I do he just asks me if I had a good time.

You probably wouldn't get it if you haven't cultivated a very private and personal bubble for years. The logistics of planning a trip are beside the point. It's more about the mentality behind how you interpret your own independence, and what it would mean to involve other people in your life.

bsp77 posted...

Your second paragraph is spot on, but I can't agree with the first. I know enough people who have had success, myself included, to know they can work. I always say the best course is dating apps plus everything you said. No reason to focus on online vs offline.

my observation: dating apps, like everything else, work great if you are the kind of man who is comfortable in every space and make friends/new partners easy, which is to say a high status guy at the top of the heap.

but given the relative competition availability, they're probably the first place where your success would falter if you're not at the top.

TheOnionKnight posted...

You probably wouldn't get it if you haven't cultivated a very private and personal bubble for years. The logistics of planning a trip are beside the point. It's more about the mentality behind how you interpret your own independence, and what it would mean to involve other people in your life.

Sounds like its precisely because of the bubble as well as inexperience that people have an unrealistic perception of what independence looks like in a committed relationship.

Cleo_II posted...

Sounds like its precisely because of the bubble as well as inexperience that people have an unrealistic perception of what independence looks like in a committed relationship.

Yep. And I think all of the examples of people who let themselves lose their independence in a committed relationship creates a bias that that is how it should be.

Sorry if that sounds like victim blaming, but I have been there and let myself lose my independence and my entire sense of self in my marriage. Never again.