Current Events > lol, i told my friend she's ignoring red flags in her new dude, she deleted me

(+) Yeah! (+)

She sounds like a vile toxic woman herself with zero respect or loyalty to long time freinds. You should have cut her off for good long ago.

She sounds like a vile toxic woman herself with zero respect or loyalty to long time freinds. You should have cut her off for good long ago.

She sounds like a vile toxic woman herself with zero respect or loyalty to long time freinds. You should have cut her off for good long ago.

I feel like their are far more advantages than disadvantages from moving in with a guy than not doing so.

1. You get to save money on rent. And if he breaks up with you, at least you saved all that rent money and get to use it to make finding another apt easier. The only mistake here is a lot of women go into bum mode and when the guy kicks them out they have no savings, but a part of me thinks that's kinda on them as they shouldn't be bums just because they're getting free rent and should be using this opportunity to level up their finances and are asking for the rig to pulled out from under them if they're leeches (not to mention not contributing to o rent in any capacity is a large reason for a lot of break ups).

2. It is FAR easier to cheat on a woman when you live apart than live together. If he plans on cheating on her, the LAST thing he should do is let her move in. Some guys will cheat anyways, but this is probably because a change of heart; any guy who plans to cheat from the get go will fight a woman tooth and nail to not move in with him for good reason.

So yeah, I don't see the problem with moving in with the guy. If anything, there are far more downsides for the man than their are for the woman in most cases and I think her ex prob got sick and her or couldn't keep his dick in his pants and them moving in together likely had no correlation to their break up and isn't an intrinsic red flag.

I feel like their are far more advantages than disadvantages from moving in with a guy than not doing so.

1. You get to save money on rent. And if he breaks up with you, at least you saved all that rent money and get to use it to make finding another apt easier. The only mistake here is a lot of women go into bum mode and when the guy kicks them out they have no savings, but a part of me thinks that's kinda on them as they shouldn't be bums just because they're getting free rent and should be using this opportunity to level up their finances and are asking for the rig to pulled out from under them if they're leeches (not to mention not contributing to o rent in any capacity is a large reason for a lot of break ups).

2. It is FAR easier to cheat on a woman when you live apart than live together. If he plans on cheating on her, the LAST thing he should do is let her move in. Some guys will cheat anyways, but this is probably because a change of heart; any guy who plans to cheat from the get go will fight a woman tooth and nail to not move in with him for good reason.

So yeah, I don't see the problem with moving in with the guy. If anything, there are far more downsides for the man than their are for the woman in most cases and I think her ex prob got sick and her or couldn't keep his dick in his pants and them moving in together likely had no correlation to their break up and isn't an intrinsic red flag.

I'm not really trying to.

But to expound on this, notice how many "adults" are quick to belittle and bully everyone they see? They gang up on others for no reason other than social status. Look at this board. Then even when they're being helpful, they still find a way to be harsh and hurtful while telling you to fuck off.

It's like my friend said: most adults never escape the high school phase; they just become more subtle about being obnoxious. I really don't think the difference between children and adults is as large as people would have you believe. At best, adults practice more situational restraint, but there's no reason to assume good intentions by default when they do that. Besides, even if they are being sincere in those cases, it doesn't make them a good person. At least children/teenagers are honest and direct, which I believe society needs more of for non-nefarious reasons. Hint: I think honesty would save a lot of heartache and awkwardness in the long-term if people could get past pussyfooting in the short-term for the sake of their own emotional comfort.

I do; I just don't care. Well, not inherently.

Maybe. An alternative scenario that's equally viable is for people to learn to grow a thicker skin and stop taking everything so seriously. This is another example of how adults aren't much different than children; and you want to call me arrogant?

Anyway, yes. Objectively, I have a better handle on an alcoholic's situation than they do. Why? Alcohol wrecks your psychology. My friends' feelings aren't as important to me as their livelihoods; I will purposefully overstep boundaries in that case, even if they've erected them. I'm not going to watch them just kill themselves physically and mentally for an unnecessary chemical fix.

Like, do you even know what the fuck alcoholism entails? People's entire lives, including their connection with friends and family members, are frequently destroyed because of this. Fuck boundaries, fuck social norms, and fuck feelings. I'm not watching that.

Its not your place to judge people

Buddy get over yourself.

Its not your place to judge people and Im sure if we started analyzing you youre not as perfect as you think.

Youre not Superman and nobody ever asked you to be.

Yeah after you've known a person. Its not like she's been with this guy for years. Its been one date lol.

If you think its a good idea idk what to tell you

Tbf, there is a lot of intrinsic danger to dating as a woman period.

You say it's dangerous to move in with a guy after one date, but it is equally if not more dangerous to go home and fuck a guy you just met, but that's what a lot of modern dating has turned into.

It's pretty obvious this chick put out on the first date if she's willing to block you over a guy she dated once, but chances are she's already seen his place and if he wanted to serial kill her then, he would have done so (not to mention the probability of being serial killed is extremely low and is overwhelmingly an irrational fear in dating).

So yeah, I think moving in after one date is moving pretty fast, but so is fucking on the first date and I'm like 99% sure that happened if this guy is already proposing she move in and she is already down with it.

For better or worse, that's how women operate. I know girls who I had a fling with one time and they would probably trust me to let them stay at my place or vice versa while I've seen guys in the friend zone for years that women wouldn't let stay over even if you paid them lol. It's probably because once sex has been established, women kinda already know there isn't a lot to lose. 99.99% of guys aren't murderers and just want sex, and once a woman has decided she is willing to submit to a dude and provide said sex, most of the intrinsic danger behind a man is eliminated.

what lol

I'm explaining to you female psychology on why she is willing to move in with a guy after one date. Once a guy has hit it, a lot of the "stranger danger" element is over.

They almost certainly fucked, her brain is full of dopamine and oxytocin, she "might love him", yadda yadda, and that's that homie.

I'm explaining to you female psychology on why she is willing to move in with a guy after one date. Once a guy has hit it, a lot of the "stranger danger" element is over.

They almost certainly fucked, her brain is full of dopamine and oxytocin, she "might love him", yadda yadda, and that's that homie.

Like, no clue wtf you're on about, and I don't think anyone else does either. Go take a Xanax or something. Nobody is taking this as seriously as you are.

I dunno why anyone would think a girl's relationship

The fact that you're all for it despite her feelings on the matter is the exact issue at hand, and likely a big part of that blocking.

You need to take a big step back and look at just how patronizing it is to bring up past abusers to instill fear in someone.

I mean it was a little intrusive but i dont think it was too far out of line. I didn't tell her "remember your abusive ex?!?" or anything of that nature.

She was talking about how she liked how he was so spontaneous and i just told her that its not a good spontaneous and to be careful. She asked me why and i said the thing about flowers should be the spontaneous you look for and that he's being overly impulsive and you dont really know him.

I brought up her past in this topic just for some context.

Stop trying to rope everyone else into your bad opinions.

you didnt prove his point lol.

you didnt prove his point lol.

I never brought up her past to her. I only mentioned it in this topic to give context to why i think she should be more careful about the red flags.

They weren't proving his point, they were trying to refute it.

?

Stop trying to rope everyone else into your bad opinions.

Wait...nobody says pwned anymore

Sorry thought you bolded that part insinuating his point. My mistake

Wait...nobody says pwned anymore

Wait...nobody says pwned anymore

I think pointing out that it's worth evaluating as sudden is worthwhile, but forcing it to be a red flag is sort of a mistake

People usually don't like being told answers, even if they're probably right - but especially if there's a chance the answer is wrong

Next time I'd say just ask, "Why do you think they want you to move in?"
"Why do you think moving in already could be a good idea?"
Questions that make people come up with their own answers always work better than giving them answers with things like this.

They'll still make mistakes but you can be friends through it and be better primed to help later on

That said, don't stress; if people be making bad life choices and being negative on a consistent basis, don't waste your time, make new friends

So out of touch. Lmao