Current Events > Confusing an explanation with an excuse.

(+) Yeah! (+)

Explanations can be excuses and vice versa.

I think the issue here is based on the opening post, you lacked any sort of empathy in that response. If you said some stupid shit while under the influence that hurt someone else, and then your response is just to blame them influence and not take any personal responsibility for putting a person in a position or feeling that made them hurt, then yes, that is an excuse.

MI4 REAL posted...

Second.

okay, thanks.

yeah jobs, (and school i remember), love to frame any reason you have for something as excuse

and then they also love to say "that's no excuse!"

when they really mean, "thats not a valid excuse".

people really have shit fucking vocabulary

Sorozone posted...

Explanations can be excuses and vice versa.

I think the issue here is based on the opening post, you lacked any sort of empathy in that response. If you said some stupid shit while under the influence that hurt someone else, and then your response is just to blame them influence and not take any personal responsibility for putting a person in a position or feeling that made them hurt, then yes, that is an excuse.

thats jumping to conclusions. you're assuming a person is trying to shift the blame to the alcohol

"You said some mean things last night"
"I'm sorry"
"Why would you say that"
"I was drunk and wasn't thinking clearly"
"I don't wanna hear your excuses"

could easily happen

Because some people believe people speak their feelings when they are drunk, and that is the issue.

Saying you were drunk doesn't explain the truth value of what you said

blackpanther59 posted...

"You said some mean things last night"
"I'm sorry"
"Why would you say that"
"I was drunk and wasn't thinking clearly"
"I don't wanna hear your excuses"

could easily happen

Of course that can easily happen, I'm not arguing otherwise.

There is still no empathy here. Just sympathy. It's an excuse, and you are blaming it on alcohol rather than taking personal responsibility.

Sorozone posted...

Of course that can easily happen, I'm not arguing otherwise.

There is still no empathy here. Just sympathy. It's an excuse, and you are blaming it on alcohol rather than taking personal responsibility.

no, it's more in that situation one would be trying to explain what happened. you're jumping to conclusions, and thinking someone referencing alcohol means they aren't responsible for their actions

Excuses deny responsibility. Explanations allow for responsibility to be acknowledged, and the situation to be explored and understood. Excuses come from feelings of defensiveness that pop up when someone is feeling attacked. Explanations occur when someone wants to be understood.

Okay TC, let's re-frame this.

"Why did you say those things?"

"A combination of dopamine, oxytocin, serotonin, and endorphins mixed together in my brain which drove me to emote and express thoughts"

That's definitely an explanation for why people say things, but you understand how this isn't a real answer, right?

Anteaterking posted...

Okay TC, let's re-frame this.

"Why did you say those things?"

"A combination of dopamine, oxytocin, serotonin, and endorphins mixed together in my brain which drove me to emote and express thoughts"

That's definitely an explanation for why people say things, but you understand how this isn't a real answer, right?

its also about lower inhibitions
[LFAQs-redacted-quote]

thoughts pop into people's minds when they are drunk, that's life

as for why people may get drunk, well once again, that's life

and another part of life is lower inhibitions while drunk

doesn't make it "okay", but that's how it is

Anteaterking posted...

Okay TC, let's re-frame this.

"Why did you say those things?"

"A combination of dopamine, oxytocin, serotonin, and endorphins mixed together in my brain which drove me to emote and express thoughts"

That's definitely an explanation for why people say things, but you understand how this isn't a real answer, right?

what would constitute a "real answer"?

In this hypothetical, they misphrased their question and then you proceeded with the equivalent of "Well, ackshually". This will typically make people even more angry. Colloquialisms are a thing.

averagejoel posted...

what would constitute a "real answer"?

To start with, something that's at least specific to what you said/did and not just a generic explanation for how emotions work?

blackpanther59 posted...

its also about lower inhibitions

This isn't about your specific example in the original post. That's an explanation of how emotions work. I just want us to start from the baseline that despite being an "explanation" that as an answer it's at best a pendatic and at worse just pure avoidance.

[LFAQs-redacted-quote]

so at first you try and derail the thread by asking my age. now you say "you're gonna have a hard time maintaining personal relationships"

who are you, some psychologist? you're giving the overused cliche "I can tell the kind of person you are based on the stuff you post on anonymous forums"

yeah fucking right, screw off

[LFAQs-redacted-quote]

Oh, thing is I understand it. I realize that people can misinterpret things.

My point is that saying "I was drunk, wasn't thinking clearly and my inhibitions was lowered", is not an excuse, its an explanation. People in this thread keep trying to insist it is an excuse.

If they were to say "yeah, it technically is an explanation, but has the vibes of an excuse", then sure, I'd understand.

Anteaterking posted...

To start with, something that's at least specific to what you said/did and not just a generic explanation for how emotions work?

then maybe they should have asked for something more specific, rather than just a generic question that can be interpreted multiple ways

blackpanther59 posted...

thats jumping to conclusions. you're assuming a person is trying to shift the blame to the alcohol

"You said some mean things last night"
"I'm sorry"
"Why would you say that"
"I was drunk and wasn't thinking clearly"
"I don't wanna hear your excuses"

could easily happen

There is nothing from what you gave us to make any other assumption other than the fact you were okay with being drunk and saying whatever shit runs through your mind

Its not about assuming the worst, its about assuming what has been established and what is most likely and common - the fact that you make the topic on CE and want to argue (because by definition thats what youre doing) otherwise is a secondary corroboration but I didnt chose to factor that in yet.

This is a case of why is the doctor telling me to stop smoking cigarettes after I was diagnosed with lung cancer when it could very well be anything else