Current Events > Having a romantic encounter tonight, 2nd time since COVID started

(+) Yeah! (+)

Shablagoo posted...

What do you believe I should say?

That you have HIV but your labs indicate that it is not transmissible.

Shablagoo posted...

I agree. Im very lucky to have these modern forms of treatment.

Some (Republican-run) states say so, others do not. The CDC ruled that undetectable (which I have been for 2+ years now) = untransmissible(sp?), so basically anyone mandating a confession that you have it (assuming youre U=U) is just an ignorant person engaged in discrimination.

So you don't tell people you have aids before having sex? That's fucked up even if you can't transmit it

https://www.nih.gov/news-events/news-releases/science-clear-hiv-undetectable-equals-untransmittable

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we already discussed in detail da naughty tings we gonna do to each other, but snuggling would work for me too.

I think were gonna watch Django Unchained; theyve never seen it.

Shablagoo posted...

https://www.nih.gov/news-events/news-releases/science-clear-hiv-undetectable-equals-untransmittable

we already discussed in detail da naughty tings we gonna do to each other, but snuggling would work for me too.

I think were gonna watch Django Unchained; theyve never seen it.

Can I ask why you keep using "they"? Is this because this person uses that pronoun, or to hide the truth from bigoted people here? I couldn't care less about the gender or status of who you date. I would just say congrats on getting some :)

bsp77 posted...

Can I ask why you keep using "they"? Is this because this person uses that pronoun, or to hide the truth from bigoted people here? I couldn't care less about the gender or status of who you date. I would just say congrats on getting some :)

Thank you :) , and of course you can ask. Its their preferred pronoun; they present as a man for the most part. Not trans per se, but nonbinary.

In addition to that, Im partially just starting to use they as habit for everyone tbh

Shablagoo posted...

Thank you :) , and of course you can ask. Its their preferred pronoun; they present as a man for the most part. Not trans per se, but nonbinary.

In addition to that, Im partially just starting to use they as habit for everyone tbh

Cool, thanks

So you are bi or pan? I think I remember you being into a woman several months back and that was a colossal disaster lol

Shablagoo posted...

even if we stick solely to oral?

ah, i guess technically you should, but i probably wouldn't if i'm being honest

bsp77 posted...

Cool, thanks

So you are bi or pan? I think I remember you being into a woman several months back and that was a colossal disaster lol

Oh, now I remember why I gave you the (positive, complimentary) tag that I did!

Ive been almost entirely with women my whole life sexually, just one person with a penis and they spoke as a woman. But I played the receptive role in bed with them and its not something Ive done in 8+ years so I almost feel like an excited virgin lol.

MrMojoRising posted...

ah, i guess technically you should, but i probably wouldn't if i'm being honest

Always some element of risk, but hopefully well be aight.

Shablagoo posted...

Oh, now I remember why I gave you the (positive, complimentary) tag that I did! Ive been almost entirely with women my whole life sexually, just one person with a penis and they spoke as a woman. But I played the receptive role in bed with them and its not something Ive done in 8+ years so I almost feel like an excited virgin lol.

Aww, thanks

And thanks for the openness

If you're asking for your partners to get STD tested and disclose their status, but you're unwilling to do the same and disclose your own status, that's a bad double-standard. I'm in favor of regular testing, and being transparent even with random hookups.

That said, hopefully it all works out.

TheOnionKnight posted...

If you're asking for your partners to get STD tested and disclose their status, but you're unwilling to do the same and disclose your own status, that's a bad double-standard. I'm in favor of regular testing, and being transparent even with random hookups.

That said, hopefully it all works out.

This is tricky for me. If there truly is 0% chance of transmission, then that is different than STDs. I don't know if it truly is 0% though.

This is the kind of thing that has to be disclosed before having a serious relationship for sure, similar to many other things like inability to have children (like me, I'm snipped), but doesn't have to be said before a hookup.

I don't know ultimately

I disagree with you there because it is impossible for me to transmit it to them.

Its, like, the same as if I never had it. Modern medicine.

bsp77 posted...

Aww, thanks

And thanks for the openness

No prob, thanks for taking an interest.

No idea why you are posting this on gfaqs, but go get some goo. And give some too.

bsp77 posted...

This is tricky for me. If there truly is 0% chance of transmission, then that is different than STDs. I don't know if it truly is 0% though.

This is the kind of thing that has to be disclosed before having a serious relationship for sure, similar to many other things like inability to have children (like me, I'm snipped), but doesn't have to be said before a hookup.

I don't know ultimately

Effectively, it is 0%, and the concept of U=U (undetectable = untransmittable) has had a mountain of support over the years. But yeah, it does bring up some difficult questions. And it does seem to hinge on whether or not undetectable HIV is considered an STD. But that almost seems like a semantic argument.

The problem that TC is in is that they want the other person to disclose, but they do not want to disclose also. They could make the argument that since it is undetectable that it doesnt count, but the real question is whether the other person would feel the same way.

My only opinion on the matter is that TC shouldnt lie. Because lying in order to get sex is well, not okay, to say the least.

Disengaged posted...

No idea why you are posting this on gfaqs, but go get some goo. And give some too.

just #blogFAQsing I guess lol, and ty :)

NeoShadowhen posted...

Effectively, it is 0%, and the concept of U=U (undetectable = untransmittable) has had a mountain of support over the years. But yeah, it does bring up some difficult questions. And it does seem to hinge on whether or not undetectable HIV is considered an STD. But that almost seems like a semantic argument.

The problem that TC is in is that they want the other person to disclose, but they do not want to disclose also. They could make the argument that since it is undetectable that it doesnt count, but the real question is whether the other person would feel the same way.

My only opinion on the matter is that TC shouldnt lie. Because lying in order to get sex is well, not okay, to say the least.

Perhaps my date wouldnt be interested in mingling with my Irish or, say, my Prussian, or German blood. Should I also disclose my entire ancestry, lest I be a deceiver?

bsp77 posted...

...doesn't have to be said before a hookup.

Like I said, I'm transparent even with random hookups. Especially with those, actually. That's when I'll be blunt upfront. If I ask and someone hasn't been tested recently, or doesn't want to talk about it, then I won't pursue anything further. If I ask and someone lies to me about it, well, I guess I wouldn't know, but I always try to be honest, so I certainly wouldn't endorse potential dishonesty.

It's also about reciprocity if you're asking someone else to disclose test results that you refuse to disclose yourself. If nobody is asking anyone for any results, then that's different. Then it's fair. Also reckless, but fair.

NeoShadowhen posted...

Effectively, it is 0%, and the concept of U=U (undetectable = untransmittable) has had a mountain of support over the years. But yeah, it does bring up some difficult questions. And it does seem to hinge on whether or not undetectable HIV is considered an STD. But that almost seems like a semantic argument.

The problem that TC is in is that they want the other person to disclose, but they do not want to disclose also. They could make the argument that since it is undetectable that it doesnt count, but the real question is whether the other person would feel the same way.

My only opinion on the matter is that TC shouldnt lie. Because lying in order to get sex is well, not okay, to say the least.

I only was saying that it is different than an STD then because those are transmittable.

Of course, some people stated that I should always tell women I am snipped before having sex in case they wanted children at some point. But that seems to be a serious conversation before having sex on a first or second date.

I see both sides here.

Edit: OnionKnight, this works in response to yours as well

Congrats on getting laid and all, but if you have AIDS even if it's somehow "undetectable/untransmissible," you should let every potential partner know about this especially if you're going to demand to see their STD tests.

And it's pretty fucked up if you don't do this.

I should note, I did get myself tested this past Friday. Results were clean.

I with the "if you demand tests then show yours too" gang. If you already have the results should be something easy to do. Just show them the results, i guess you dont need to give them your whole backstory although Im sure they would appreciate it. Odds are they dont care since they arent asking for your results.

Gonna taste the booty?

Turbam posted...

If you're struggling to get hard, just think about some of your all time favorite CE posts

Think of the CCP and the Uyghur people.

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Lmao this exactly.

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I think their argument is that its okay to withhold information that might alter someones consent if the information being disclosed might cause them to choose to not consent for the wrong reasons.

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Straight up this shit is just too ignorant for me (not your post; what others are saying, obvs).

I dont blame anyone for it I was similarly uninformed prior to my diagnosis but, just, ugh.

[LFAQs-redacted-quote]

But where does that end? Many people would suddenly withhold consent if they knew everything about a person's past all at once. That shit can be overwhelming at first. But when you learn it slowly over a developing relationship, then it is cool.

If you are having a random hookup, then they only need to know what impacts said hookup.

Note I am not saying to lie when asked a question. Never do that.

Finish in the butt

bsp77 posted...

But where does that end? Many people would suddenly withhold consent if they knew everything about a person's past all at once. That shit can be overwhelming at first. But when you learn it slowly over a developing relationship, then it is cool.

If you are having a random hookup, then they only need to know what impacts said hookup.

Note I am not saying to lie when asked a question. Never do that.

Id like to mention that to my surprise, again, w/ my ignorance all my past sexual partners whom I contacted after my diagnosis to warn were incredibly warm, understanding, and accomodating.

(Additionally, everyone thankfully tested negative.)

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But there is no "T" according to what I learned from multiple posters today

I agree. Im very lucky to have these modern forms of treatment.

Some (Republican-run) states say so, others do not. The CDC ruled that undetectable (which I have been for 2+ years now) = untransmissible(sp?), so basically anyone mandating a confession that you have it (assuming youre U=U) is just an ignorant person engaged in discrimination.

What...the....fuck...

bsp77 posted...

But there is no "T" according to what I learned from multiple posters today

Thank you (truly) for reading what people post, it appears to be a unique ability.

[LFAQs-redacted-quote]

How exactly does that apply to TC, who doesnt have AIDS?

Isn't OP a CCP shill who denies genocide

Shablagoo posted...

Thank you (truly) for reading what people post, it appears to be a unique ability.

I learn and apologize all the time. I don't know why people act like they have to stubbornly adhere to their beliefs even when it is clear they are ignorant about it. All of us are ignorant about the vast majority of subjects. Ignorance does not mean stupidity, it simply means you don't know that much about a subject. By default that is most subjects.

I also believe you do not need to disclose all of your red flags on a first date. If it directly relates to what you are doing, then yes. Otherwise, you can hold off on that stuff. Do you think I tell all of my first dates that I have autism? Of course not, as they get something in their head about who I am that is ultimately false. So I don't tell them. Now if the relationship reaches a point where it's going to be serious, then I do tell them at that point. Because I want them to know who they are thinking about being a partner with. All of them reply that they are shocked and that they had no idea. Ultimately, they don't care. But if I told them at the very beginning it probably would have stopped things before it ever started.

[LFAQs-redacted-quote]

You need to have a certain amount of the virus in your body to be able to transmit it. The meds reduce the amount of virus in your body to levels below that amount. You can tell if your viral levels are low enough by whether or not they are detectable to tests.

Yeah ngl even if the level of HIV you haven't isn't transmittable that's 100% something that should still be disclosed

OudeGeuze posted...

Yeah ngl even if the level of HIV you haven't isn't transmittable that's 100% something that should still be disclosed

But explain why if just a hookup

bsp77 posted...

But explain why if just a hookup

Because someone may not be comfortable with that regardless?

This cant be a real topic it just cant be. Bro if I had sex with a female raw who knowingly had HIV and didnt tell me for whatever reasonmy goodness. I pray God be with us both afterwards thats all imma say. Thats foul

Not disclosing STD history seems like the type of shit to make your social credit go down in China.

I hope you ain't using pics of your nephew to score brownie points with potential pussy neither.

OudeGeuze posted...

Because someone may not be comfortable with that regardless?

But there could potentially be a lot of things they aren't comfortable with if they knew everything, even if all of those things don't matter for the hookup itself. When you do hookups, this is the chance you take.

I also wonder if anyone who is saying he should have to disclose this status simply for their comfort level also believes that post op trans women don't have to disclose (seems to be a popular CE thing). Because if you think not disclosing your trans status is fine, but not disclosing your HIV status is not, needs to think about that hypocrisy.

Deleted- posted...

This cant be a real topic it just cant be. Bro if I had sex with a female raw who knowingly had HIV and didnt tell me for whatever reasonmy goodness. I pray God be with us both afterwards thats all imma say. Thats foul

But. You. Can't. Contract. It.