Current Events > CE's Anonymous Confessionary: After Dark

(+) Yeah! (+)

kage_53 posted...

Dont you live in Seattle? If I see you in public, c..can I give your butt a giant slap

only if I can give you a giant wedgie on top of the space needle

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Harpie posted...

only if I can give you a giant wedgie on top of the space needle

Is that a date then

Harpie posted...

tbh same
I have a no butt stuff rule

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have you ever snuck one of your own confessions through?

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kage_53 posted...

Is that a date then

no its me bullying you

Zodd3224 posted...

hey on other people its free game bby

Simp posted...

have you ever snuck one of your own confessions through?

Of course, there are a couple Ive done already. Maybe like 4 the last topic and 1 so far for this one. No ones noticed of course, since its anonymous and I reply to myself to avoid suspicion

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Zodd3224 posted...

How do you know I'm not a woman?

You're a tall glass of papi, stop it

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Harpie posted...

no its me bullying you

hey on other people its free game bby

Of course, there are a couple Ive done already. Maybe like 4 the last topic and 1 so far for this one. No ones noticed of course, since its anonymous and I reply to myself to avoid suspicion

I noticed one of yours >_>

I don't remember which it was, but there was a little language quirk I picked upon in the confession that I saw again in a post of yours, but by then I had already forgotten what the confession was.
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I once pooped my pants in kindergarten

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_Angel_ posted...

You're a tall glass of papi, stop it

Thank you, this is the first time I have ever been described as tall.

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Zodd3224 posted...

Thank you, this is the first time I have ever been described as tall.

lololol

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I CONFESS I've had too much to drink

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ApherosyLove posted...

I CONFESS I've had too much to drink

Me too

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ApherosyLove posted...

I CONFESS I've had too much to drink

I think you mean not enough

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TheRadiant posted...

I think you mean not enough

I can't speak for anyone else but I certainly do mean that

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I'm 2 flights/7 drink in

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I am still hungover from last night. It was a 2 coffee day to get through work.

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I like being disciplined. It's not that I enjoy the pain from spankings, and it's not like I'm some terrible person that deserves to be punished. But I am interested in the ritualistic aspect of it, the control that is given to another person (Although I can stop it at any time if needed), the trust, the fear, the anticipation, and so on.

It's unconventional, to be sure, but I've been fascinated by this for almost my entire life and I cannot bring myself to be ashamed of it.

Nah don't be ashamed of it that's lame. It's a fun kink, I have one that is very similar so

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Butt I love butt stuff

I'll put a strap on for you any day of the week bby

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I'm too sober, lets fix that

someone pick a number between 1 and 10 to decide how many shots I take
i don't drink
take that as you will

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10

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JOIN ME plesee

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ApherosyLove posted...

10

Rude.

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AldousIsDead posted...

Rude.

I'll give you ten fingers to the face how bou daahh

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ApherosyLove posted...

10

thank you ily <3
10 IT IS LETS GET THIS PARTY STARTED

whatcha up to tonight

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What about those of us without sin? Discriminatory topic tbh.

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I just came back from a birthday party AT A BARN??? and my brother is driving me home and I got someone's number too
The barn was so pretty omgffggg

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no one's confessing so I'll start

I'm not wearing any pants and also Torchic is the best pokemon starter no one can convince me otherwise

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ApherosyLove posted...

I'll give you ten fingers to the face how bou daahh

I'll take 4 for the double fish hook, best offer.

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I hinestyld can never decide between torchic and mudkip on any given playthrough

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I would love to experience what life after death is like with the ability to return to the living world.

Shablagoo posted...

What about those of us without sin? Discriminatory topic tbh.

drop some holy advice us sinners should listen to

ApherosyLove posted...

I just came back from a birthday party AT A BARN??? and my brother is driving me home and I got someone's number too
The barn was so pretty omgffggg

Ooooohh tell me more about this number you got

What a whimsical sounding birthday

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Apherosy you WILD!

You as well Harpie

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its a guys number TBH which I guess is weird I didn't really even think about it until I started typing this out lmfaooo
He wasn't particularly cute or anything and I've no interested in boys atm

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Harpie posted...

drop some holy advice us sinners should listen to

fart in twos whenever feasible

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I don't really have anything to contribute right now so I'm just posting this because it sounded like there weren't many confessions coming in so I just wanted to give you something to post lol.

Maybe later when I'm more not sober myself... maybe I'll have more interesting shit to contribute lol

thanks for ur submission this topic can receive another bump

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"I'll put a strap on for you any day of the week bby"

Harpie don't play with me like that

By which I mean absolutely do play with me like that omg yes!!

hmmm maybe

I am a ghost haunting CE. I especially haunt mods. Those nightmares you have at night? That was me.

Does this mean I'm a mod now

also u suck stop making me have nightmares about work

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ApherosyLove posted...

its a guys number TBH which I guess is weird I didn't really even think about it until I started typing this out lmfaooo
He wasn't particularly cute or anything and I've no interested in boys atm

Sounds like a hell of a party

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Can we talk about how hopeless it is to be a man? Your worth is your worth as a provider. You are a provider, and outside of that your value is pretty low, if any. Take a dive on places like reddit, where many men around the world share experiences such as their wives of many years suddenly not finding them attractive because they saw them cry. You know what is the biggest cause of divorce? the man losing his job.

You're expected to be this emotionless avatar of strength and stoicism (except for anger, this is an allowed emotion, somehow) that provides for others and who will got fucked if there's ever a divorce or alimony lawsuit, and don't you dare suffer from depression or vulnerability or your perception to the world will lower.

Being a man is such a lonely, isolating experience.

I'm sorry its so isolating for you
surround yourself with good people who don't conform to societal expectations or gender stereotypes. It'd make a big difference

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I'm a piece of shit

Nah, that's not you. That's the bully in your brain saying that. Tell it to shut up

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hey, dirtay, baby i got ur money dont u waurry , babu i go sho monaayy

wow I'm creaming my pants at this moment in complete awe and attraction

oomfg that last submision was so obvnocious im so sorry lmaooo <33 ur so cool harpie i dhope i dont read this in the morning and cringe lmfao

too late
good morning sunshine

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My name is Richard and I taste like avocado mmm you know you like me

ew definitely not

"hmmm maybe"

Oh u mean

my body isn't ready

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I have a weenie.

you and 4 billion other people

Every time NeonOctopus is warned, I feel sick to my stomach.

I have a custom script running on my PC that I commissioned a computer science student back in college to write, where it constantly refreshes GameFAQs to check the status of NeonOctopus's account. If the script detects the status has changed to "Warned" or "Suspended", it will send a text alert / email (in case I don't have my phone) and I can immediately react.

This evening was an evening like any other. I was hanging out at my crib (street vernacular for "house") with some of my friends and we were watching Wednesday Night Football (we tape Monday Night Football and watch it on Wednesday) and drinking Mike's Hard Lemonade.

Let me tell you boys, we were are completely Hard (slang for drinking many Mike's Hard Lemonades) the entire time. I looked over at my buddy and I could see he had a Hard one right in the front of his pants! I thought that was funny because normally we put them on coasters on the table. I realized my own Mike's Hard was getting low and I said to my buddy "hey, can you toss me another Hard one?"

He informed me that we were all out and I'd have to get more Mike's Hards. I figured I could just have a swig of his and asked if I could put my mouth on his Hard one. He laughed, because we were both drunk and would normally never do this (because of germs; sharing a drink is disgusting), but eventually he gave in. I grabbed the smooth shaft of the bottle and just as I was about to put it in my mouth, my phone rang.

NeonOctopus was Warned.

I howled. I let out a howl so loud and piercing that it woke up my son. I normally make him go to bed on Wednesday nights at 5:30pm partially because I don't want him to see me getting Hard with other men (the kid doesn't need to be exposed to heavy drinking at his age) and also because he's an annoying little s*** and is usually asking questions about football, as if he were a nerd or something.

Tears rolled down my cheeks. I didn't know what to do. I kept refreshing the GameFAQs page, hoping that this was some kind of mistake. Maybe some moderator was intending to remove a post praising the KKK but had accidentally clicked on the innocent NeonOctopus link. Alas, this was not the case.

By this point, my friends were all visibly upset and I noticed they were trying to leave, even though we were only part of the way through the game. "No!" I screamed at the top of my lungs. I was inconsolable. I began thrashing about, throwing my collection of decorative throwing knives all over the crib (apartment). One knife struck my Native American friend, Big Bear Jim, in the neck. Blood gashed from his open wound, staining the carpet a deep red and splashing the walls. A sickly iron scent loomed in the air as Death claimed Big Bear Jim.

My son knew he needed to act quick. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a small crucifix. "Dad!" He yelled. "Remember how Christ died for your sins? Well, NeonOctopus did the same thing. He will live in our hearts forever, and hopefully in 3 days he will rise again from the depths of warned and post wonderful stories about t****** on CE again."

At that moment, I knew my son was right. My rage quelled. I tossed Big Bear Jim's corpse into the dumpster and put my son into the Punishment Closet, as he had broken one of my most important rules of the house (never make eye contact with me).

Anyway, I really just miss NeonOctopus and I think the mods should reconsider his warning.

tl;dr - free @NeonOctopus

neonoctupus is a CE treasure WHY was this man banned??

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Deep down I just feel so worthless. There's this sensation trying to well up inside me. Fear, despair, fury... I don't know. But I can't allow myself that. To fear is to wish for survival, but what right do I have to that? To despair is to lose sight of hope but to believe in the future is beyond me. To feel fury is to rage at the injustice of it all but I know I did this to myself. I don't deserve anything, not even these feelings. It's a sick joke that someone like me would try to appear human.

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Is it me or recovered or former alcoholics are some of the most insufferable people out there?

They fell and then they touched rock bottom and now they feel like they can judge anybody else who isn't perfect from their hypocritical white horse.

They are especially hard on people with addiction issues, unless they're part of their little cult; because don't get me wrong AA is very much a religious cult.

They are also very much one bad day or one argument away from relapse, their sense of superiority is so hollow.

They may have beaten alcoholism for now, too bad they became much worse people in the process.

Eh this is way too much of a generalization for me to agree with, NEXT

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Hi Harpie,

My name is Tommy Fruitcase and I got a problem. I got my pant leg stuck in the toaster oven again and these are almost quality pants that I would like to salvage. Is it hip to walk around with burn marks on your trousers while you're rebuilding your life?

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BloodMoon7 posted...

Deep down I just feel so worthless. There's this sensation trying to well up inside me. Fear, despair, fury... I don't know. But I can't allow myself that. To fear is to wish for survival, but what right do I have to that? To despair is to lose sight of hope but to believe in the future is beyond me. To feel fury is to rage at the injustice of it all but I know I did this to myself. I don't deserve anything, not even these feelings. It's a sick joke that someone like me would try to appear human.

You're far too witty to be worthless.

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I hate myself

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TheRadiant posted...

I hate myself

Same

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TheRadiant posted...

I hate myself

Lay it on me brotha. Harpie can't fix shit. Let me take a stab at it.

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Harpie is cooler than anyone else in this topic!

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