Poll of the Day > Has getting spanked or belted helped you in the past?

(+) Yeah! (+)

Topic

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all it does is quickly increase the mob's untowardness and decrease it's happiness stats

But it will then adjust it's behavior to be less vulnerable

Therefore avoiding more spankins in the future

Just hope it doesn't learn kung-fu one day

I never did, but

There becomes a day that you just don't fuck with a man

Cause that man probably doesn't want to have to fuck with you, either

We have come from the age of spankins... And we ain't never going back...

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Is that a poem about spanking?

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no its real life and its very traumatic and i drive motorcycles now

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Yeah I'm sure getting chased around the house screaming/crying to the point where I crawled under the beds and didn't come out for hours or eat supper really helped my mental growth.

Or when I was abused at the ages of 13-14 to the point where I'd call out for my mother and run hide behind her. Pretty sure I nearly could have died when I got my head slammed against the edge of a deck while running away in fear too.

No. I actually quite harshly disagree with the corporal punishment of children. My mom only spanked me a handful of times as a kid, but it was never the ideal way of 'learning' something. She hit my sister even more, even more illogically. Adults need to learn to use words if they want to teach children concepts. I still feel an adult can grasp a child's arm firmly, or something to that degree - but many adults progress those to hard pinches and yanks...just, no. I think you should be able to look a kid in the eye and educate them sternly, but in a way without threats - simply informing them very clearly if they are endangering themselves or others.

I had to camp with a lady my age that wouldn't stop complaining about the school administration coming down on her for 'smacking her kid upside the head'. I typically pipe up, but I was already miserable camping because my legs were absolutely massacred with bug bites, and I didn't need to deal with an angry mom for 4 days.

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Yes. It really spiced up the relationship

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yes, after my dad spanked me I never kicked my dad in the shins again

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I feel like the main problem is that people confuse "discipline" with "abuse", and it's usually the kids who got abused who grow up to be the ones who are most against the idea of any form of physical punishment (assuming they don't internalize it and become abusers themselves).

Any form of punishment can be abusive if taken to excess. Even seemingly benign punishments like getting sent to bed without dinner or being forced to sit in the corner (just look at the psychological effects of solitary confinement in prison - that's pretty much one long "time out").

My parents were willing to spank (or threaten with a belt), but also had the advantage of a) they'd only do it for discipline, not to vent their own anger, b) it was a rare, severe punishment for extreme offenses, and c) they would gauge an appropriate degree of force, to be a deterrent but not so much that it caused significant injury (it's the difference between someone bopping their pet on the nose with a newspaper as opposed to beating the shit out of it).

It also helped that they were rational adults who would explain why punishment was occurring and were relatively consistent with rules and standards - they weren't arbitrarily beating me over minor offenses that weren't offenses yesterday, or constantly getting drunk and hitting me, or having bitter fights with each other and then finishing it off by taking their frustrations out on me. I was fully aware in every single case that it was my own actions that were resulting in punishment, and that it was entirely within my own power to prevent that punishment from occurring.

(As a related aside, they were also willing to consider the reasons behind my behavior and didn't simply punish as the first response to all misbehavior. For instance, in 5th grade I apparently became a rebellious student in school who refused to do work and gave my teachers crap, but it turned out the main problem was that I needed glasses and couldn't see what teachers were writing on the chalk board. Rather than just beat me for being a bad student, my parents figured out what the problem was and fixed it. Meanwhile, the main teacher in question did far more psychological harm to me - without laying a single hand on me - simply by not giving a shit and making no effort to understand why I had become so disaffected. Being forced to sit in a corner as public embarrassment, or to write "I must be quiet in class" (because you were trying to ask the person sitting next to you what it said on the board in a sincere effort to actually be a good student) is the sort of thing that can drive even good kids into no longer giving a shit or actively lashing out in retaliation, if they feel like they're being unfairly punished.)

And that discipline applied effectively and early apparently worked pretty well - I was actually fairly well-behaved as a kid, and so my parents didn't need to constantly spank me. The threat became effective enough, because it wasn't an empty threat.

I firmly believe that the motivation and methodology behind any form of punishment is far more impactful than the punishment itself. I also believe that a bad parent can utterly fucking break a child without touching them even once - the core problem isn't whether or not you're willing to hit but everything else that goes with it.
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"My parents hit me and I turned out fine" is the "Well I saw it on Facebook" before Facebook. There's basically zero credible evidence that it's okay, let alone good to hit your kids

JOExHIGASHI posted...

Yes. It really spiced up the relationship

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I got spanked very sparingly as a kid (maybe like 3-4 times in my whole childhood that I can remember) and it was only when I was being a douchebag and deserved it

CoorsLight posted...

"My parents hit me and I turned out fine" is the "Well I saw it on Facebook" before Facebook. There's basically zero credible evidence that it's okay, let alone good to hit your kids

Spanking is not the same as beating your kids

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Muscles posted...

Spanking is not the same as beating your kids

Muscles post

Grow up dude, maybe your parent used it as an excuse to wail on you but most of the time it's just parents teaching their kid that actions have consequences

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I didn't get hit in any way as a kid but thanks for saying that people who did just need to "grow up"

It happened sparingly when I was a kid, and only when I pushed things too far. Let's just say I knew when to stop being a jackass to my folks after a couple go-rounds.

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One time I was failing classes in high school, and my mom beat my ass and they got better.

So spanking does work

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Hit with the belt once and spanked like maybe 10 times when I was very young. I'd say it likely helped early on, when I lacked reasoning for my actions. Whereas instilling a high sense of personal honor and equality is what made the largest impacts on my behavior. I was never really problem though, so I'm not sure about other people's situation.

Muscles posted...

Grow up dude, maybe your parent used it as an excuse to wail on you but most of the time it's just parents teaching their kid that actions have consequences

lol yeah, in the most fucking ape way possible lmfao

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ParanoidObsessive posted...

I feel like the main problem is that people confuse "discipline" with "abuse", and it's usually the kids who got abused who grow up to be the ones who are most against the idea of any form of physical punishment (assuming they don't internalize it and become abusers themselves).

Any form of punishment can be abusive if taken to excess. Even seemingly benign punishments like getting sent to bed without dinner or being forced to sit in the corner (just look at the psychological effects of solitary confinement in prison - that's pretty much one long "time out").

My parents were willing to spank (or threaten with a belt), but also had the advantage of a) they'd only do it for discipline, not to vent their own anger, b) it was a rare, severe punishment for extreme offenses, and c) they would gauge an appropriate degree of force, to be a deterrent but not so much that it caused significant injury (it's the difference between someone bopping their pet on the nose with a newspaper as opposed to beating the shit out of it).

It also helped that they were rational adults who would explain why punishment was occurring and were relatively consistent with rules and standards - they weren't arbitrarily beating me over minor offenses that weren't offenses yesterday, or constantly getting drunk and hitting me, or having bitter fights with each other and then finishing it off by taking their frustrations out on me. I was fully aware in every single case that it was my own actions that were resulting in punishment, and that it was entirely within my own power to prevent that punishment from occurring.

(As a related aside, they were also willing to consider the reasons behind my behavior and didn't simply punish as the first response to all misbehavior. For instance, in 5th grade I apparently became a rebellious student in school who refused to do work and gave my teachers crap, but it turned out the main problem was that I needed glasses and couldn't see what teachers were writing on the chalk board. Rather than just beat me for being a bad student, my parents figured out what the problem was and fixed it. Meanwhile, the main teacher in question did far more psychological harm to me - without laying a single hand on me - simply by not giving a shit and making no effort to understand why I had become so disaffected. Being forced to sit in a corner as public embarrassment, or to write "I must be quiet in class" (because you were trying to ask the person sitting next to you what it said on the board in a sincere effort to actually be a good student) is the sort of thing that can drive even good kids into no longer giving a shit or actively lashing out in retaliation, if they feel like they're being unfairly punished.)

And that discipline applied effectively and early apparently worked pretty well - I was actually fairly well-behaved as a kid, and so my parents didn't need to constantly spank me. The threat became effective enough, because it wasn't an empty threat.

I firmly believe that the motivation and methodology behind any form of punishment is far more impactful than the punishment itself. I also believe that a bad parent can utterly fucking break a child without touching them even once - the core problem isn't whether or not you're willing to hit but everything else that goes with it.

To be fair, I am far more sympathetic to this explanation than I am towards the people that blanket defend physical punishment of children in brash ways.

Talking to various people, I have found that most people who were physically punished definitely were punished for justifiable reasons, oftentimes. It simply seems to then often bleed over into more instances of unjustifiable reasons. Once again, simply my own experience and talking to people, but yes, we are all using our own circumstantial evidence to form these views.

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I used to get punched into the wall when passing my dad in the hallway. He'd laugh afterwards. Such power he had! And now he craps blood through a tube in a hospital. And nobody comes to visit.

I had my hands slapped when I misbehaved. It wasn't bad enough to leave a mark or anything but it was a good enough deterrent for me.

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It might have made me angrier at people, less willing to trust them or play nice, or more willing to let bridges burn while the assholes responsible are standing on said bridges. Spankings have not helped me "behave" as intended.

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i wont say my parents did everything right in raising me, but at the very least, they did not think beating their children was an ok thing to do, so i guess im fortunate

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thedeerzord posted...

One time I was failing classes in high school, and my mom beat my ass and they got better.

So spanking does work

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Yes. It makes me not want to do it if I ever have kids.
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Helped you nut lmao
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People who say stuff like "well I never did ____ again!" are totally missing the point. It's like... say you want to get rid of a ton of batteries. Yes, you could throw them in your trash, and assuming they aren't really big/heavy enough to be noticeable, they will get hauled away to the landfill, and you will have gotten rid of your batteries from your point of view, but that doesn't make that the right way to go about it. Nor is it the only way to go about it. Ancillary consequences exist even if you aren't easily able to see them.

I appreciate that some people here who went through that have a perspective that it's not something to perpetuate. Some obviously don't. But I think it's telling that nobody is ever like "man my parents made a big mistake not beating me!". Just don't do it, for fuck's sake.

I also think broadly the idea that kids always need to be "punished" or "taught a lesson" is fundamentally flawed though, even if your methods aren't physical. Certainly there are teachable moments sometimes but you're dealing with people who have limited cognitive function. Sometimes it's more cognitive than behavioral, shit is going to happen, kids grow out of it.

It's one way to instill those instinctual morals society thinks is just there in us.

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pedro45 posted...

It's one way to instill those instinctual morals society thinks is just there in us.

No wonder people think spanking is sexy.
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