Board 8 > Make Your Bed

(+) Yeah! (+)

Congrats on a great start. Keep it up and let us know how it progresses.

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following my cousin's example I started a gratitude journal. day 2 today. each morning I write down 3 things I'm grateful for, because as he put it (because some inspirational guy put it this way) "you can't be feeling scared or angry if you're feeling grateful". so that's a pretty rad way to get some good perspective going into each day

redrocket posted...

I mean, you should be able to get the exact same effect by just brushing your teeth and changing clothes. The bed making step is just extraneous.

And yet. I've brushed my teeth and gotten dressed for my entire life. I even felt guilty on days when I skipped one or both of those. But discipline did not follow naturally as a result. Not after even 30 years.

What do I think the difference is?

Nobody expects me to make my bed.

If I see you at the mall, you don't know if my bed is made. You know if I'm wearing rags. You know if my breath stinks.

It's choosing self-discipline when the consequences aren't external, but internal. That's where the shift in mindset happens.

Creating a positive narrative for yourself is super important for feeling good.

people derive self-worth from being good at something. Good at making people laugh, good at creating things, good at telling a story, good at helping people, good at competing, good at attracting. Or from fitting a role well and fitting in. Being a good partner, a good parent, a good son/daughter, a good worker, a good friend, being a good worker are all things that can create a sense of satisfaction.

Nobody's good at everything. But we all pick specific roles to define ourselves by.

If being good at sticking to this regimen is satisfying to you, it sounds like you've found your calling. That's great!

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WhiteLens posted...

Dude, I don't mean to downplay your progress, but you sound like one of those self-help people that are abundant in certain circles of the internet.

...And you would have sounded more convincing citing an excerpt from Atomic Habits.

Presupposing that "convincing" was my aim

I'm laying out cold hard facts because people who don't want to be convinced, won't be convinced. Can't help those who deny help.

But people who do want to be convinced, the facts will do it whereas me trying to be persuasive probably won't (and would derail into an argument faster, probably!)

CoolCly posted...

but making your bed actually does wonders to improve your comfort sleeping. leaving blankets in a tangled mess from tossing and turning actually sucks.

this is true, but doesn't require you to make it look pretty in the morning. I just make sure all the blankets are arranged and tucked in before hopping in at night.

(this is just from a comfort perspective obviously - if making your bed in the morning gives you mindset benefits then sure go for it)
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I've actually already been making my bed nearly every day for like the past decade or so, but it was more because I don't like having a disheveled looking bed. It wasn't until a couple months ago where I got in the mindset of doing it to start the day with a productive task done.

turbopuns3 posted...

(because some inspirational guy put it this way) "you can't be feeling scared or angry if you're feeling grateful"

I wonder if your cousin got the idea from a YouTuber.

So I probably came off as condescending on my first post and I do apologize for that. I would often see posts like that and sometimes it would end with someone promoting themselves in some way, so it was a kneejerk reaction, especially since I wouldn't expect it in a place like Board 8.

Though you really should read Atomic Habits by James Clear if you haven't already. It's a really good book, and it's by far the most recommneded book for self-improvement.

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Good on you man. Sounds like maybe I should take this approach...

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"that's just how I am"

"I like myself just fine"

"I don't need to be able to run faster to be happy"

I would have said things like this a couple months ago, but after making discipline and self-improvement an integral staple of daily life, I look back and realize how much that mindset actually held me back from doing great things which didn't require me to move mountains in order to achieve

(again this isn't a persuasive essay. it's just kind of a reflection for me at this point)

I missed a day of gratitude journal on Sunday and it was the most anxious and least organized day I've had in a while...

That doesn't seem good to me

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Reminds me of when I was hooked on cocaine

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God I miss cocaine

Just too expensive. But my god did my bed get made

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Waluigi1 posted...

That doesn't seem good to me

Indeed. Doing the journaling is in fact better.

if I don't journal I get anxious -> this sounds bad -> inferred reasoning is that the person is dependent on the behavior -> badness of dependency on the behavior seems predicated on the idea of "if I don't do it things are worse" -> this is handled rather neatly with the fact that committing to doing it requires quite a small amount of effort. extraordinarily small.

At the same time, you don't want to let one slip-up derail your day. Have some self-compassion for yourself.

Have you tried taking up meditation in these cases? It can help dealing with anxiety, but the thing is you can't force yourself to not get anxious, you have to let it run its course and be ok with that.

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WhiteLens posted...

At the same time, you don't want to let one slip-up derail your day. Have some self-compassion for yourself.

Yeah I'm not hating or anything, I think it's great that you're bettering yourself and all. I meant it more like this.

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I wasn't anxious over it directly, like ahhh no my perfect streak wahhh

No, just like, I noticed at the end of the day that I was less organized and then realized I forgot the journaling

Well that changes the context if you didn't even remember the journal until the end of the day. I was thinking you forgot to journal, remembered at some point in the day, and then the rest of the day was anxious and unorganized.

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azuarc posted...

I'd love to know how you're doing after another 3 weeks.

3 day warning

I will consider making my bed, but I would rather do something like X push ups when I wake up instead.

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3-week update, as promised. I'm content to be done with this topic. If anyone has personal questions they can reach out via PM or on discord I think I should be easy to find in the B8 server.

https://youtu.be/hxs0d8gu2BI

You look like a lotr dwarf/giant hybrid

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Congrats!

The idea of writing things down is a powerful one for clearing your mind. Once it's on paper it allows you to "let go" and not think about it as much because you're worried about forgetting.

Speaking of daily habits, I've taken up doing 15-20 minutes of stretching first thing when I wake up. Really helps to loosen me up.

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