Current Events > Conservative humor. But could use some help.

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coolcono
02/14/21 10:01:05 PM
#1:


Conservative humor.
A professor is lecturing a history presentation and a SJW student notices that some very important historical figure said something that might be construed as offensive. Their eyebrows furrow for the remainder of the skit. In a total apoplexy, the student decides to build a time machine in order to assassinate said figure. Entering the historical era, the figure is in the middle of accomplishing something great for humanity, and won't utter the phrase which ignited the student's rage for another decade. Still driven by agitation, the student attacks.
I was thinking the return trip could use some work.
On the return trip to the present, everything changes for the worse and a huge despotism with the furrowed time traveler's face is imprinted on everything.

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Naysaspace
02/14/21 10:03:33 PM
#2:


that was so bad, that was absolutely brutal

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AlisLandale
02/14/21 10:04:18 PM
#3:


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SiO4
02/14/21 10:06:12 PM
#4:


You know, I sometimes think Conservative humor is so distinctly bad is because they don't understand gray areas. Or should I say a sense of nuance.

That and some of the more pathological tendencies that some display are really not going to lend themselves to understand how to 'get some' in a joking manner.
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coolcono
02/14/21 10:08:13 PM
#5:


The scene is set in a factory. A homely stout lady goes up to a male worker. "I am tired of you guys gazing at me all the time like I am a piece of meat." The worker responds, "We are so sorry Suzabelle. We cannot help it." "I have told you a number of times to stop catcalling me and making wolf whistles." ( In a factory mostly compromised of males, even the least of women will get male attention) She continues, "But enough is enough. Now I am going to quit pursue my dream. I am going off to Hollywood, California to be a famous actress." "No Suzabelle, we'll knock it off." "I have already made up my mind. I have been thinking about this for a long time and I think I have the talent necessary to make it in Hollywood." A loud "DON'T LEAVE" echoes as she exits the scene.

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coolcono
02/14/21 10:08:27 PM
#6:


I thought it was a funny scenario. Having a small group of protesters outside a mall or someplace similar. They would be protesting something stupid and yelling at passerbys. One of the female protesters would get agitated that nobody was paying attention to them and throw a punch. She would say,"Their face got in the way of my fist."

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Cobalt_Wasps
02/14/21 10:10:09 PM
#7:


i think you may have used the word "apoplexy" incorrectly

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AldousIsDead
02/14/21 10:13:03 PM
#8:


This is an awful gimmick.

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Crazyman93
02/14/21 10:13:06 PM
#9:


SiO4 posted...
You know, I sometimes think Conservative humor is so distinctly bad is because they don't understand gray areas. Or should I say a sense of nuance.
That's really ironic considering the last 4 years of what the liberal late night comedians were shitting out.

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AlisLandale
02/14/21 10:14:03 PM
#10:


Oh I get it. Its anti-humor. The joke is that its not funny. Hahahaha what a topic, Mark.

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coolcono
02/14/21 10:15:52 PM
#12:


AlisLandale posted...
Oh I get it. Its anti-humor. The joke is that its not funny. Hahahaha what a topic, Mark.
Cannot you envision an older SJW lady getting so agitated that she would rather build up a time machine and assassinate an important historical figure over something small than let that person succeed in their destiny?

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Tyranthraxus
02/14/21 10:16:36 PM
#13:


This topic should be a case study on why conservatives aren't funny.

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fan357
02/14/21 10:17:13 PM
#14:


Wat

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Middle hope
02/14/21 10:17:45 PM
#15:


Conservative humor wouldn't be such a wall of text. Thats lefty shit.

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ultimate reaver
02/14/21 10:17:46 PM
#16:


conservative humor doesnt work nine times out of ten because conservatism put through a filter of levity ends up sounding like a bond villain laughing at the people hes planning to kill

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coolcono
02/14/21 10:19:40 PM
#17:


Sh!tlord posters won't you come out tonight, come out tonight, come out tonight.
Sh!tlord posters won't you come out tonight, come out tonight, come out tonight and irritate the left.

Leftist posters are easily offended, easily offended, easily offended.
Leftist posters are easily offended, easily offended, easily offended.

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coolcono
02/14/21 10:20:33 PM
#18:


Tyranthraxus posted...
This topic should be a case study on why conservatives aren't funny.
Ok, I beg you. What is funny liberal humor?
Everything I have seen is terrible. Late shows, SNL are cold garbage.

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Tyranthraxus
02/14/21 10:23:41 PM
#19:


Begging is for dogs.

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Naysaspace
02/14/21 10:25:57 PM
#20:


When Jeff Foxworthy is the bastion of conservative humour, you know it's in a sadder state than Germany in 1946.

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(edited 1/18/2021 6:36:37 AM)
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coolcono
02/14/21 10:26:05 PM
#21:


Gniiiiggggggeb___ is for gods.

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Esrac
02/14/21 10:26:10 PM
#22:


Whether or not you enjoy conservative humor probably depends on whether or not you can get a laugh at "punching down".
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coolcono
02/14/21 10:26:42 PM
#23:


It filter the word otherwise because it looked to much like a racist term.

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coolcono
02/14/21 10:27:25 PM
#24:


Esrac posted...
Whether or not you enjoy conservative humor probably depends on whether or not you can get a laugh at "punching down".
That is probably true, but what does the left do on every SNL, late show?

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Heineken14
02/14/21 10:27:42 PM
#25:


This topic is so bad it makes me feel embarrassed for you.
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coolcono
02/14/21 10:29:30 PM
#27:


Heineken14 posted...
This topic is so bad it makes me feel embarrassed for you.
What comedy outlets do you enjoy?

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Esrac
02/14/21 10:32:33 PM
#28:


coolcono posted...
That is probably true, but what does the left do on every SNL, late show?

I wouldn't know. I, like many, haven't watch SNL in years.
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coolcono
02/14/21 10:33:19 PM
#29:


Esrac posted...
I wouldn't know. I, like many, haven't watch SNL in years.
What is your comedy go-to?

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BilalPowell
02/14/21 10:34:22 PM
#30:


How did the vixen find out her husband died?

-By watching Fox News.

Why does Steph Curry kneel for the anthem?

-Because he's a social justice Warrior.

What is the conservative's favorite canned pineapple brand?

-(Bob) Dole

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Sayoria
02/14/21 10:47:12 PM
#31:


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AlisLandale
02/14/21 10:56:06 PM
#32:


coolcono posted...
Cannot you envision an older SJW lady getting so agitated that she would rather build up a time machine and assassinate an important historical figure over something small than let that person succeed in their destiny?

well, I can envision it. Its just not funny. Theres no build-up or twist. Theres no inherent cleverness, irony, or wit.

You can *probably* spin time-traveling censorship-via-assassination into a funny bit, but yours just isnt gonna work. your set-up, for instance, is garbage. Student and professor arguing wasnt funny in AOL chain e-mails in 1997, and its not funny now. Your hook is time travel, so work with that.


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Esrac
02/14/21 10:56:25 PM
#33:


coolcono posted...
What is your comedy go-to?

I don't think I have a specific go-to.

I like comedy movies. Especially older ones. I could give examples of comedy movies I liked.

I like animated comedy shows. Animaniacs, South Park, Bob's Burgers, etc.

I haven't watched any stand-up in years, but I used to like some of that too.

I've also always liked the humorous angry rant style of comedy, ala Adam Carolla. He was perhaps the best part of Loveline back in the day.

More generally these days, I find it funny to watch or read content that makes fun of weirdos on the internet.
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ThanksUglyGod
02/14/21 11:09:44 PM
#34:


The trick to conservative humor is to actually be funny. Like so:

A human geography professor and xis assistant are working on liberating negatively charged microaggressions from a BIPOC dormitory, when all of a sudden, the assistant says, 'Wait, Professor! What if our being here acting as white saviors is in itself a severe microaggression?' And the professor responds, 'That's no microaggression! That's my nonbinary domestic partner!'"
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marthsheretoo
02/14/21 11:14:54 PM
#35:


I cannot for the life of me tell if this thread is a clueless conservative attempting humor or a god-tier satirist pretending to be the former.

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SiO4
02/14/21 11:22:31 PM
#36:


Crazyman93 posted...

That's really ironic considering the last 4 years of what the liberal late night comedians were shitting out.


It's probably because that shit wrote itself.
There is only a certain level of bullshit you can add to bullshit.
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HylianFox
02/14/21 11:27:07 PM
#37:


For some reason I thought of "I once knew a man who was so gay he won a Hot Dog Eating Contest without eating a single hot dog" but that's probably too clever for most conservatives.

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coolcono
02/14/21 11:34:21 PM
#38:


HylianFox posted...
For some reason I thought of "I once knew a man who was so gay he won a Hot Dog Eating Contest without eating a single hot dog" but that's probably too clever for most conservatives.
So he sucked penis instead of eating hotdogs? Bwahahahahaahaa. So clever.

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RustyFerret
02/14/21 11:42:42 PM
#39:


You need to take some cues from Norm Macdonald, TC.
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Intro2Logic
02/15/21 1:45:38 PM
#40:


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Tyranthraxus
02/15/21 2:06:35 PM
#41:


Intro2Logic posted...
https://twitter.com/bigblackjacobin/status/1361377774213226499

I think the stuff on Babylonbee is funny personally.

https://babylonbee.com/news/gina-carano-rehired-by-disney-after-she-identifies-as-an-abusive-male-director

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Rapid99
02/15/21 2:12:31 PM
#42:


These are jokes an alien would make when trying to blend in with humans.

Intro2Logic posted...
https://twitter.com/bigblackjacobin/status/1361377774213226499

Another successful Brad Troemel post in the wild.

https://www.instagram.com/p/CJO2myNhhJ7/?igshid=gcoakxoe6dq7

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Magyar15
02/15/21 2:21:03 PM
#43:


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AtelierRyza3462
02/15/21 2:23:06 PM
#44:


Conservative humor is really just normal humor tbqh

Humor is dying though due to the crowd that's gets offended so easily...
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UnfairRepresent
02/15/21 2:24:00 PM
#45:


Conservative humor:



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Tyranthraxus
02/15/21 2:54:15 PM
#46:


AtelierRyza3462 posted...
Conservative humor is really just normal humor tbqh

Humor is dying though due to the crowd that's gets offended so easily...

There's different genres of comedy. Such as improv, stand up, puns, etc.

When people say conservative humor they usually mean political satire or political parody with a pro conservative message.

Thus Ben Shapiro's "Bill Cosby is a funny conservative comedian" doesn't really hold up to scrutiny since Bill Cosby's jokes were mostly about parenting which is something people of all political leanings can identify with.


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IShall_Run_Amok
02/15/21 3:03:11 PM
#47:


Conservative humor is shouting the N word multiple times into a jar and then crying because you chipped your tooth on the jar, and everyone laughs a your dental mishap.

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CE_gonna_CE
02/15/21 3:06:27 PM
#48:


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HylianFox
02/15/21 3:12:04 PM
#49:


UnfairRepresent posted...
Conservative humor:


pfft, they spelled Ewok wrong

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Machete
02/15/21 3:12:34 PM
#50:


If something is conservative humor, by definition it needs help. Topic title is redundant.
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BilalPowell
02/15/21 3:21:44 PM
#51:


I believe Tim Allen has been on a conservative humor show for like 5 years now.

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