Poll of the Day > A little bit of reflection.

(+) Yeah! (+)

Sunday evenings for me are generally a time of reflection when I think of things that I don't usually think of, to remember long past times. Tonight while I was taking a shower, I thought up the idea of writing about this. I have a friend who has told me before I should do a podcast so I can put things like these in a better format, and I think that's mainly because he thinks that they're interesting, but I don't find anything I say unique or interesting.

Well tonight, I remembered back when I would talk to random people online for 8+ hours straight during the AIM/MSN days. Most of this time was before I posted on PotD, and all of this was before reddit really took over social discourse. I met these people mainly on small forums, or they had been real life friends and coworkers. We would just like talk about random stuff. Apparently I was someone interesting enough to hold a conversation with for 8+ hours straight. The last time I really remember doing this was with a girl I had been working with, and we just talked about random stuff on my 24th Birthday (I remember this specifically because it was the 2nd season premiere of Orphan Black, and I had binged watched the first season days before).

What I've realized is that I don't do this anymore, and apparently other people still do this so it must have been a life change that happened to me. This came up, mainly because I've been a bit forward on joining some discord channels recently (one of which was for one of my favorite utaite, which I talk about from time to time in the Anime thread). I think if I were younger, I'd be more socially active in these communities, but I mainly use them now for rarely asking questions and stream notifications. To this day, I only really talk in 2 Discords (one is a group I have been apart of for ~5 years, and the other is related to Star Trek Online), PotD, and a few image boards (which by design, I keep myself anonymous).

I can't place any specific reason why I'm not as social as I once was. My main theory is that I am unhappy with my current life, and as a result have low self esteem and a distrust in opening up to strangers that I grew sometime in my mid-20s due to the changing shape of the internet. Oh and depression, that despite knowing how to fix, I don't want to fix as it would potentially burn a bridge I don't feel comfortable burning.

---

Do you have a greater number of meaningful interactions irl now, and so you don't have a need for online interactions as much?

---

I have like zero meaningful interactions irl.
And I agree. I really don't have a need for online interactions like I did when I was younger, but I think this is mainly due to my use of reddit. I'm generally against social media, but that site is too convenient not to use.

---

Judgmenl posted...

Well tonight, I remembered back when I would talk to random people online for 8+ hours straight during the AIM/MSN days. Most of this time was before I posted on PotD, and all of this was before reddit really took over social discourse.

I actually miss those days. I used MSN, Myspace and DigiChat sites. Never really bothered with anything outside of that. It's no surprise I actually internet dated. Some folk I still interact with now. We never met in person but they helped me in life for sure.

---

For a little bit of reflection, for best results, look at a mirror.

---

What you do is up to you, but maybe being more social might make you happy sometimes or maybe venting about things to other people might help as well. Sometimes just the act of articulating your thoughts into words for others can be enough to help you come to a realization.

---

After some sleep, I came to the realization that I miss structured social interactions. The best examples of this I can think of are school, and when I used to go to YGO tournaments as a teenager. There's just no equivalent of something like this in my life anymore that isn't work (which isn't really a social interaction anymore), and like I've mentioned in the past, there's really nothing that I could do (that I can think of at least) that doesn't involve gambling or bars.

I was coming around to this conclusion last year before the pandemic ended. I was actually considering starting to go to conventions (which would be pretty awkward for a 31 year old).


---

Conventions are still up in the air right now, but for the record they're very welcoming of all types and ages. Unless you're being overly obnoxious or something, they're basically a judgment-free zone. I'm 35 now and I've been going to and actually working at several events every year.

Actually, I've found working at the events to be a fun way to meet new people. It's only for a weekend, but you do wind up seeing a lot of the same faces at multiple events, and most people are pretty friendly. There's actually one organization in my area that does a lot of charity and community events in addition to conventions, and I'm trying to get more involved with them.

---