Current Events > Being a parent of a kid with severe disabilities has gotta really suck

(+) Yeah! (+)

Like so severe they can barely be in public without meltdowns and screaming fits. Or hit and punch and spit at teachers and other kids.

Not the kid's fault. But damn

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a big fear of mine regarding having kids

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Yet....it didn't stop my sister in law from having 4 more of those screaming kids.

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Doe posted...

a big fear of mine regarding having kids

same, one of the big reasons I probably won't have any (alongside the fact that with my own disability I probably wouldn't have the patience for them, and the biggest reason of all, because I will never find someone who would want to have a kid with me.)

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Well its a risk you take

My son wasnt quite that bad but as a parent you adapt, you dont think about it you just do it.

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weekoldhotdog posted...

Yet....it didn't stop my sister in law from having 4 more of those screaming kids.

Do you mean your brother?

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awesome999 posted...

Do you mean your brother?

No, wife's sister.

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Solution_45 posted...

Well its a risk you take

It's not a risk you have to take though

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All of our parents feel this topic

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Aren't almost all pregancies were the baby is diagnosed with down syndrome aborted?

I think I remember reading the rate hanging around 90-100% for almost all developed countries

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CasualGuy posted...

Like so severe they can barely be in public without meltdowns and screaming fits. Or hit and punch and spit at teachers and other kids.

Not the kid's fault. But damn

I know a guy who has a nonverbal daughter & constantly has to deal with CPS getting called on him.

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weekoldhotdog posted...

Yet....it didn't stop my sister in law from having 4 more of those screaming kids.

Well, you just keep hoping eventually at least one of them will come out right.

Tyranthraxus posted...

I know a guy who has a nonverbal daughter & constantly has to deal with CPS getting called on him.

That's terrible. I bet they try to paint him like he can't take care of her.

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Esrac posted...

Well, you just keep hoping eventually at least one of them will come out right.

idk, I can't really talk. I've got 3 of my own, but my children are very well behaved. You go to her house and it's like a god damned zoo.

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weekoldhotdog posted...

That's terrible. I bet they try to paint him like he can't take care of her.

Worse. He's constantly being accused of being a literal kidnapper. I know he's never hurt or abuse his daughter but random people in public don't and CPS may not always know ahead of time what the problem is.

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I think it's at least a bit easier now since ASD is much more known about than it used to be.

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Yeah, it is one of many reasons to not have kids.

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I couldnt even begin to grasp it. My daughter has a hearing disability. She just needed a cochlear and she now leads a beyond normal life, but even getting that initial news about broke my world. Having to deal with something more severe? Some parents are crazy strong for that.

Im glad that we only decided to have one kid because I would have major anxiety worrying about if something was wrong if we had another

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Yeah I feel for them on many levels. Not just the added stress for obvious reasons but also theor empathy of their child having to deal with the disorder their entire lives too. Must be hard.

I really respect the ones who overcome it and are still awesome parents. Can't be a much better person than that.

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weekoldhotdog posted...

idk, I can't really talk. I've got 3 of my own, but my children are very well behaved. You go to her house and it's like a god damned zoo.

I would know. First two kids are special needs. Third one is too young to tell.

Now my wife is pregnant with a 4th, but that one is unintentional. She managed to get pregnant despite precautions.

I read a super dark article a while back, about how some moms with such kids will turn to last resorts to cure their kid. Stuff like having them drink bleach or other blatantly awful cures.

It seems that in their heads, they know that the method is dangerous, but they figure that they will either cure their kid, or kill the kid, both of which they prefer to their current situation :|

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Esrac posted...

I would know. First two kids are special needs. Third one is too young to tell.

Now my wife is pregnant with a 4th, but that one is unintentional. She managed to get pregnant despite precautions.

My oldest two have special needs. I was born with Asperger's, but I was high functioning. My oldest (my son) seems to be performing under my level at his age and my 9 year old daughter is right there with him. Unfortunately though for my in laws, they never broke through their kid's autism so they just let their kids be animals.

On the flip side, my son is very polite and though Gamefaqs would likely be an animal to him, he's almost ready to start posting here within a year or two.

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weekoldhotdog posted...

My oldest two have special needs. I was born with Asperger's, but I was high functioning. My oldest (my son) seems to be performing under my level at his age and my 9 year old daughter is right there with him. Unfortunately though for my in laws, they never broke through their kid's autism so they just let their kids be animals.

On the flip side, my son is very polite and though Gamefaqs would likely be an animal to him, he's almost ready to start posting here within a year or two.

My 7 and 4 year olds both seem to be somewhere on the autism spectrum and they have significant behavioral and speech delays, a great deal of difficulty staying on task, stereotyping behavior.

We had my 7 year old attend about two years of ABA therapy. That helped a lot with giving her some kind of vocabulary and rudimentary speech skills, but she is still way, way behind a typical girl her age.

She can tell you what things are, count, make simple requests, and follow simple directions, but she has no capacity for meaningful conversation and she will almost constantly repeat phrases she hears on cartoons and games, especially when she is upset. She can recognize letters and numbers, but is just barely getting to the point where she can read words and do basic addition. It was only last year that we really got her consistently potty trained and totally phased out the pull-ups.

The 4 year old, can only make single-word requests, but not consistently at all, and he can recognize numbers and letters or repeat songs he hears frequently on Cocomelon. But he is just recently getting to a point where he can put his own pull up or pants on, but he won't do it unprompted. Getting him to follow even basic directions has had very limited success.

It can be extremely disheartening and dark thoughts are not uncommon for me.

One of the reasons abortions is a societal necessity. Parents shouldn't be forced to subject both themselves and a child to this suffering.

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hockeybub89 posted...

One of the reasons abortions is a societal necessity. Parents shouldn't be forced to subject both themselves and a child to this suffering.

FYI: I was given the same option before my children's birth.....I love my kids no matter what.

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Stop using "suck" and "sucking" as a negative thing. It's horribly offensive

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CasualGuy posted...

Not the kid's fault

Yeah it is

Theres good kids and bad kids
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weekoldhotdog posted...

FYI: I was given the same option before my children's birth.....I love my kids no matter what.

You do you. Just saying this is one reason abortion should continue being an option if someone isn't you and your wife.

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Having effectively co-parented my younger brother all my life, who likely will never be independent...yeah, it's rough. But he's still my brother, dammit.

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Bad_Mojo posted...

Stop using "suck" and "sucking" as a negative thing. It's horribly offensive

Well that sucks.

Really depends on the disability itself I suppose.

I had a sister who was 2 years older than me that was SEVERE. If I had to guess she had the brain equivalent of basically a newborn. She couldn't walk, talk, or really give any meaningful interaction. She didn't eat normal food, everything had to be put up in a processor/tool that cuts up all the food so it was easily swallowable. If she was sick and throwing up we had to feed her by a stomach tube. She wore diapers until the day she died.

It wasn't the easiest upbringing. We never went on family vacations or anything because who would watch her? Even a night out to the movies was a no go. Did it "suck"? Yeah a bit. But it taught me a LOT and kind of made me who I am today.

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Did the doctors see anything to suggest any disability before kid was born? All babies with disabilities that make them rely on a caretaker from day 1 till death needs to be aborted. It's the humane thing to do for the kid and the parents too.