Current Events > Just got called "chunky" on Tinder, and now my confidence is gone.

(+) Yeah! (+)

This comes after my ex broke up with me after telling me she was never attracted to me. I'm already developing an eating disorder as it is, but that sucked. I'm too anxious to go to a gym, so all I've been doing is drinking tons of water and eating as little as possible.

I'm a little over 180 lbs, down from 190-ish last month.

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How chubby are you

Even fat chicks dont want fat dudes

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How tall are you?

Lanzol posted...

How chubby are you

Around 180lbs, I'm 5'8, and I have a fat face. Not exactly a double/triple chin, but I just have very chubby cheeks. Ironically that was one of the only things my ex liked about me.

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Work out from home, you don't need a gym

Also they're probably full of shit anyway

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Lanzol posted...

How chubby are you

Dude said 180, so probably at the border of overweight and normal weight if they're a 6 foot tall male.

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You're just gonna get skinnyfat if you don't eat and work out. At least start with bodyweight exercises at home if you don't want to go to the gym. Pick up some dumbells or a kettlebell.

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Is your dick chad size?

How old are you? By your late 20s/early 30s its really not difficult to rock some extra weight as a guy if you carry it well

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Just get strong then, everyone feels anxious at the gym at first, no one is going to tell you you don't belong there. If anything, there's an automatic respect that gym patrons all share with one another. Anorexia is not going to work, its going to take way longer than doing it correctly and you're just gonna be a weakling if you even lose enough to get thin in the first place.

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Rainbow_Dashing posted...

Dude said 180, so probably at the border of overweight and normal weight if they're a 6 foot tall male.

Lol I'm like 5'10 and 190 and most people consider me slim

Altho I hide my weight well, I was 170 before quarantine :(

huh. 5ft 8in and 180 isn't fat at all, unless like.. you literally dont move and have 0% muscle mass.. but i doubt that right?

im 5ft 9in, and i was 175 at my lowest weight ( i think) and i was super skinny

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TreyFlowers posted...

You're just gonna get skinnyfat if you don't eat and work out. At least start with bodyweight exercises at home if you don't want to go to the gym. Pick up some dumbells or a kettlebell.

I have some 20-lb dumbbells at home. How would lifting them influence my overal figure?

Unite posted...

Is your dick chad size?

My last relationship has ruined me, sexually. I'm pretty much afraid of sex at this point.

masticatingman posted...

How old are you? By your late 20s/early 30s its really not difficult to rock some extra weight as a guy if you carry it well

I'm 27.

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Just remember there are a bunch of different people who are into different things. You're going to meet some people who don't like what you have to offer and some that do. There are also going to be assholes. So just keep searching until you find someone that you gel with.

The important thing is how you feel about yourself. If you've lost weight, thats good. I understand the apprehension of going to a gym. Try just doing body weight exercises at home like pushups/situps/squats. Get a pull up bar. Go for a jog once on a while at the park or somewhere that isn't crowded.

Starving yourself skinny isn't a healthy way to address your image issues.
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TheBlueMonk_ posted...

huh. 5ft 8in and 180 isn't fat at all, unless like.. you literally dont move and have 0% muscle mass.. but i doubt that right?

im 5ft 9in, and i was 175 at my lowest weight ( i think) and i was super skinny

It's really just in my torso and face. I have pretty decent arms/legs.

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CRON posted...

I have some 20-lb dumbbells at home. How would lifting them influence my overal figure?

My last relationship has ruined me, sexually. I'm pretty much afraid of sex at this point.

I'm 27.

20 lb'ers will do fine if you do the right exercises and do them correctly. It'll take time though. Need to eat better if you want the best results

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CRON posted...

I have some 20-lb dumbbells at home. How would lifting them influence my overal figure?

My last relationship has ruined me, sexually. I'm pretty much afraid of sex at this point.

I'm 27.

ouch , how long did it take to get your ex date on tinder?

You know that is dangerous? You can develop a disorder where your body tries to conserve energy so when actually do something strenuous you will faint, maybe lose hit your head and lose oxygen to your brain turning you into a vegetable.

Smackems posted...

20 lb'ers will do fine if you do the right exercises and do them correctly. It'll take time though. Need to eat better if you want the best results

I've considerably cut back on the amount of garbage I eat, I rarely eat anything sweet and I've replaced soda with water, entirely.

What are some things I can do with the 20 lb'ers in general that would help me?

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Unite posted...

ouch , how long did it take to get your ex date on tinder?

I met my ex on Tinder but we both felt like fish out of water. Both introverted, with a lot of the same quirks. I had been on Tinder for maybe 3 or 4 months, paying for Tinder Gold and boosts.

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180 at 5'8 really isn't that bad but it wont be hard to shake off 20 lbs.
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Just buy a bike (be it an actual bike or an in door exercise bike). If you are actually eating decently and if you do a moderate amount of cardio regularly you should lose some weight.

CRON posted...

I met my ex on Tinder but we both felt like fish out of water. Both introverted, with a lot of the same quirks. I had been on Tinder for maybe 3 or 4 months, paying for Tinder Gold and boosts.

wow ok , the problem is women are looking for chads. You are paying a lot of money for pain, you are looking for unicorn

https://thefitness.wiki/routines/strength-training-muscle-building/#Dumbbell_Focused_Routines

TheBlueMonk_ posted...

huh. 5ft 8in and 180 isn't fat at all, unless like.. you literally dont move and have 0% muscle mass.. but i doubt that right?

im 5ft 9in, and i was 175 at my lowest weight ( i think) and i was super skinny

I'm 5'7"



It's well into overweight territory. I'm 155ish now and that's barely into normal bmi territory.

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Overhead press, decline dumbbell press, supine dumbbell press, incline dumbbell press, one arm dumbbell row, bent over reverse fly, standing fly, shrugs, curls.

Planks will help with frame building by strengthening your back and they do decent work on your core. You can imitate a kettle bell swing with a dumbbell, another frame building exercise that also does wonders at eliminating body fat.

Diet is far more important than exercise if you want to lose weight.

Also, I personally wouldn't trust anyone who calls their self slim with tits and a belly.

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CRON posted...

I've considerably cut back on the amount of garbage I eat, I rarely eat anything sweet and I've replaced soda with water, entirely.

What are some things I can do with the 20 lb'ers in general that would help me?

I'm not a trainer, I can only tell you what I did to lose weight and get beefier.

Basically I do (on different days) abs/biceps and wrists/shoulders/legs/chest and triceps + walking everyday, sometimes jogging

Eat clean food like baked chicken, purple hulled peas, greens, toast (white wheat bread, I can't stomach regular wheat), protein shake after workout, fiber brownie or two for evening or night snack. Stuff like that. I also counted calories. 2500 per day. One cheat day a week but don't go crazy

Again, these things worked for me but they may not be the healthiest things you can do. Someone else may have better advice

As for individual exercises, it was simple stuff like crunches, bicep and wrist curls, shoulder presses/shrugs/delt raises, squats and calf raises, and then pushups and tricep extensions. That's the simplest i can make it lol. I do 10 sets a day to near failure with 1:40 of rest time between

Edit: I also sprinkle in some more advanced exercises and I don't really work out my back much since its prone to fuckin up. I really need to work it out more

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Thanks for the advice. I don't know dick about fitness. What is a set, how many....whatevers do I do in it, and how long should a set last? I can easily throw in some at-home exercise into my daily routine.

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I'm 6'1 215 about the same BMI as you and unless you are a body builder..... yeah your chubby (so am I).

Do some pushups. I've basically been doing them since I was in the army (did 4 years and got out way back in 2011) and its kept the moobs at bay at least because you've got pecks instead and it widens your frame overall so even if you gain weight you carry it better.

CRON posted...

Thanks for the advice. I don't know dick about fitness. What is a set, how many....whatevers do I do in it, and how long should a set last? I can easily throw in some at-home exercise into my daily routine.

Hmm.. As for a beginner.. I started by doing 12 repetitions per set of an exercise. After those reps rest for a minute and a half or two minutes. Did 3 sets of repetitions for that exercise and moved on to the next. Next time I did that workout I added weight to it and attempted to do the same, but since you can't do that with just 2 20 lbs, add a couple reps each workout.

Or I guess you could go until you feel like you're not going to be able to do the whole rep. That's called going until failure. Then rest and do it again. But that may not be a good idea for a beginner.

It helps to keep a journal of how you did on your workout for instance:

7/13
Curls 20lbs 12/12/12
Wrist curls 12/12/12

And then make a new entry the next week.

Again, I'm just saying what I did (mostly) but I'm only an expert on me, not on everybody. So if anyone wants to jump in with advice pls do lol

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What would you recommend as a beginner's workout? I was considering just doing push-ups. Ideally I'd like to get rid of my gut and love handles. I've noticed my stomach being less bloated after completely cutting soda out of my diet.

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CRON posted...

Thanks for the advice. I don't know dick about fitness. What is a set, how many....whatevers do I do in it, and how long should a set last? I can easily throw in some at-home exercise into my daily routine.

A set is series of reps, lasting anywhere from 0:45 to 1:30 (usually), but it's generally just the result of however it takes you to do the reps at a "normal" pace.

Generally there's a short rest inbetween sets, somewhere between 30 seconds to a minute. Some powerlifting routines have you waiting like up to 5 minutes inbetween sets, lol.

Usual template for someone who's trying to gain both strength and muscle mass is "3x8", aka, 3 sets of 8 reps each. This is the result of lots of studies about optimal gains over time. Some people recommend 2x15, and that's also valid. 3x5 is also fine enough.

There's a lot of people trying to put a personal spin on it in order to make a buck -- what matters most is sticking with it, and being proactive in your progress. If you complete all reps and sets, next session either do more reps or heavier reps.
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I agree that with such a low weight, and with the goal of losing weight, you should aim for 3 sets of 12 reps. I recommend 30 to 60 seconds between sets, and 60-180 seconds between moves, to keep your heart rate up and to keep engagement on the muscle to a maximum for each movement. Don't speed through your sets, take your time and remain in full control of the weight, focus on maintaining proper form throughout the entire set. However, one place my advice would differ dramatically from Smackems, is that if you fail a rep, meaning you either cannot complete the first stage of movement or return to neutral, you should stop performing that move during that session, because any extra engagement will not only be superfluous, but can increase risk for injury. At 20 lbs, I don't foresee you failing out on most movements within 36 reps unless you're building on a completely diminished muscle base. When the move becomes too easy with the equipment you have, you can add either reps or sets, so maybe you'll move up to 16 reps, or you'll just do 4 or 5 sets of 12.

When you do planks, a rep is considered the length of time you are holding the move in the active position, typically 30 seconds to 2 minutes are done per rep. My advice here, is to do 3 total minutes using reps of any length, that seems to be where you get the most benefit before hitting diminishing returns.

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CRON posted...

I've noticed my stomach being less bloated after completely cutting soda out of my diet.

that alone is a step in the right direction. nasty habit to have :(.
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Try this

https://www.kingofthegym.com/3-day-dumbbell-split-routine-weight-lifting-q-and-a/

Adjust as you need to to make it more comfortable for you, but don't make it too easy. Google exercise names to find tutorials.

It's only 3 days a week (I would still walk 5 days a week) but it should get you started. I started on a 3 day split and started moving things around to fit better with my schedule when I was more comfortable

Number one thing is to be consistent. You will have days where you dont wanna do it, but do it anyway unless you're physically unable. It'll become a habit that you won't let yourself break after a few weeks

Can't stress this enough but listen to others like DespondentDeity. Like I said I'm only an expert on what works for me

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CRON posted...

Ideally I'd like to get rid of my gut and love handles.

That's gonna be 90% diet and daily calories consumed and 10% your level of physical activity (of which, like 9% is doing ANYTHING while maybe 1% is what specific thing you do)

Pushups are a start, but surely you can like, get some milk jugs filled with sand or dumbells or kettlebells or old textbooks or SOMETHING.

Overhead press, pushups, lunges*, rows, planks, curls. If you can get a door frame pullup bar you'll be set, otherwise you'll be doing bent over rows over a chain or something.

*squats can also work but lunges are easier for at home workout imo
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TheBlueMonk_ posted...

huh. 5ft 8in and 180 isn't fat at all, unless like.. you literally dont move and have 0% muscle mass.. but i doubt that right?

im 5ft 9in, and i was 175 at my lowest weight ( i think) and i was super skinny

I'm 5'9 and the one time that my weight went up to 160 I felt fat as fuck. 135 is my usual weight but 140-150 is the ideal range for this height

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I'm 5'10 and about 174. I think I am fat but women tell me I'm skinny way too much. To the point I don't believe them.

I'm sure you are not chubby at all.

The X Dawg posted...

I'm 5'10 and about 174. I think I am fat but women tell me I'm skinny way too much. To the point I don't believe them.

I'm sure you are not chubby at all.

I'm pretty chubby. I've got a big gut, moobs, and a very fat face.

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I'm 5'9 at 244, now that's fuckin' fat. Know what I do? I suck that shit in, lmao. Works when I'm not sitting.

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