Poll of the Day > Do All Dogs REALLY go to heaven?

(+) Yeah! (+)

"All dogs go to hell," said Peter Clark, the deputy superintendent of animals at Newton-Wellesley House. He said there was "absolutely no question" that they "all plummet to hell" after their deaths. "I'm sure there were a few dogs that were trying to get out of the chains, and some were the still and silent survivors. Some just let the chain hang them over the fire," Clark said. "It's an impossibility to separate the amount of dog deaths from the amount of dead cats that were left over from before."

The animals come to death and disgrace in several kinds of ways:

• They fight or injure each other

• They enter roofs to eat stray cats or dogs

• They swim in the ocean to hunt large fish (whales)

• They have their stomachs ripped open by rocks, falling into deep water, and drowning

• Pigs

Clark has seen a fair number of pets in the last 30 years. "I imagine some of them want to be good, but the chain," he said, "like any device, it breaks them."

For Wayne Cordon of Eureka, it goes a little further. He's petitioned the county clerk to amend the current municipal code to designate dogs as "wild animals" that "do not have rights." He wants to remove "ownership" from their definition

"For every dog, in effect, I'm saying 'You have no rights because you're not part of the family and so you're not a pet,'" he said.

That language would have the legal consequence of stripping most public assistance services from Golden Retrievers as has already happened in California except under a new prov

Burt Reynolds says "Yes they do"

I'm firmly convinced that all dogs go to heaven, but no human ever has.
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Just as sure as there are angels in the outfield.

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Maybe not the bitches...

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OniRonin posted...

They swim in the ocean to hunt large fish (whales)

Im sorry, did he just say that dogs routinely hunt whales...?

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aDirtyShisno posted...

Im sorry, did he just say that dogs routinely hunt whales...?

He misidentified whales as fish, but otherwise I don't see the problem.

Anyways, I have yet to see any existence of these so-called "dogs" and I refuse to take it on faith that they're supposedly "out there" somewhere.

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Yes except pitbulls and labadors, they go to cat hell.

Where's the 'dogs don't have souls' option? I mean, jeez, a 'dogs aren't real' option but not a 'dogs don't have souls'?

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Unbridled9 posted...

Where's the 'dogs don't have souls' option? I mean, jeez, a 'dogs aren't real' option but not a 'dogs don't have souls'?

"Dogs Aren't Real" is the most popular option. The option you suggested is very unpopular too, which makes me wonder if your just an internet troll. Do you hate America? Are you against dogs? Do you live in a massive dump? That is not a side you should be taking, the top dog in the universe seems to genuinely enjoy this country and treats you with no disdain whatsoever. Make a mistake, your life might be different tomorrow.

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Dogs are nice. The ones we have now are the most unique ones weve ever had.

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Korruptor posted...

Yes except pitbulls and labadors, they go to cat hell.

To be fair, Cat Hell is also Dog Heaven.
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That's what the movie led me to believe, or..well, it's title anyway.

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I saw an entire documentary about it, so yeah

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What is a dog?

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zalabar22 posted...

What is a dog?

Dogs are a mix between a cat and a horse. Dogs were named after a fox-like creature in Chinese folklore. They have some resemblance to cats, but they're just big and stupid, so really they're in no way like a cat. Dogs are a good fit for the Mario universe.

This is why the animal-themed Mario games always begin with Mario becoming an owner of a dog, because he has inherited its genes. He's a young man who lost his parents, so he becomes a dog to take care of his younger sister, Princess Peach.

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And you just made me think of the 3 All Dogs Go To Heaven films (have the producers ever compiled all 3 on 1 DVD?).
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DiduXD posted...

And you just made me think of the 3 All Dogs Go To Heaven films (have the producers ever compiled all 3 on 1 DVD?).

Yes, there is a combined edition and it includes all 3 films, and also a book where you can find out everything there is to know about all 3 dogs and their adventures.

The set is very well packaged and looks like a nice collector's item. It weighs about 6 pounds

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I hate to break it to you, but no animals go to Heaven. They do not have a spiritual mindset, therefore they cannot inherit the Kingdom of Heaven.

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zalabar22 posted...

What is a dog?

a miserable pile of borks

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Heaven is where the dogs are, so no, they don't go to heaven, heaven has gone to the dogs.

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Domesticated canines are a social construct.