Current Events > How can I convince a friend that they don't need to be attractive to be happy?

(+) Yeah! (+)

Flockaveli posted...

You don't, you tell them that it's their problem and if she wants to not be ugly then you can help because that's something you know how to do.

There's really only so much I can do with regards to that.
---

This is interesting cause what are you suppose to do when no one wants to fuck you?

---

PleaseClap posted...

I told her that maybe she should get a cat or something for companionship. She got all pissy about that for some reason

Okay this is a troll topic we can move on

had us going for a full page, not bad

---

Blackstar110 posted...

PleaseClap posted...

I told her that maybe she should get a cat or something for companionship. She got all pissy about that for some reason

Okay this is a troll topic we can move on

had us going for a full page, not bad

---

LordMarshal posted...

This is interesting cause what are you suppose to do when no one wants to fuck you?

Hopefully realize that there's more to life than dating and sex and that you have to be able to live for yourself.
---

Bump, still looking for some useful advice on how to best deal with this
---

You should be nice to her and try to boost her confidence. Does she play games? Tell her she's really good at them and cool.

---

PleaseClap posted...

Hopefully realize that there's more to life than dating and sex and that you have to be able to live for yourself.

Im not hot by any means but theres still average looking girls thatll fuck me. I cant imagine being flat out ugly and no one wants to ever fuck me.

---

Vyrulisse posted...

You should be nice to her and try to boost her confidence. Does she play games? Tell her she's really good at them and cool.

I am nice to her, you should see what everyone else says about her when shes not around.

I think shes only a casual gamer at best. Yknow, a healer main in every game. That kind of player.

LordMarshal posted...

Im not hot by any means but theres still average looking girls thatll fuck me. I cant imagine being flat out ugly and no one wants to ever fuck me.

Neither can I.
---

Explain to her what she's feeling is how a typical man feels everyday and that she's comparing herself to people living in the clouds. There's nothing more attractive than a down-to-earth person

Healing mains are stressful jobs and carry a lot of responsibility, that isn't exactly a casual role I imagine...

---

Self esteem is something you raise overtime in small doses. There's an art to it that I doubt you're capable of pulling off. It has to be genuine and this topic makes me think you want to speedrun her self esteem and don't have the patience.

---

Ugly people are treated worse than attractive people. It's simply the truth.

You can't really stop legitimate complaints. What you can do is remind them of your friendship and try to reduce the mean-spirited comments aimed towards you personally.
---

PleaseClap posted...

Hopefully realize that there's more to life than dating and sex and that you have to be able to live for yourself.

Those are claims you're making as someone who dates and has sex. It doesn't work.

Don't try to be Dr. Phil.
---

Vyrulisse posted...

Healing mains are stressful jobs and carry a lot of responsibility, that isn't exactly a casual role I imagine...

healers are important, but they're generally low effort. Healing is a role best described as: "stand out of the way and run around while healing the people who make the strategic moves."

By no means is healing a bad thing, but it's generally the role played by the least skilled member of the group.

---

Gobstoppers12 posted...

healers are important, but they're generally low effort. Healing is a role best described as: "stand out of the way and run around while healing the people who make the strategic moves."

By no means is healing a bad thing, but it's generally the role played by the least skilled member of the group.

That would be DPS in my view. They have no responsibility and only exist not to stand in the red.

It also depends on the game I imagine.

---

Lost_All_Senses posted...

Self esteem is something you raise overtime in small doses. There's an art to it that I doubt you're capable of pulling off. It has to be genuine and this topic makes me think you want to speedrun her self esteem and don't have the patience.

What makes you say that? Im genuinely asking what I can do to help out someone whos less fortunate than me.
---

a lot of this is an excuse to shame the mentally ill.

<p style="background-color: transparent;">"IT IS YOUR FAULT THAT YOU ARE DEPRESSED! If you don't want to be happy, then fine! Go ahead and be alone and miserable! I worked hard for my happiness! You're just being lazy and want to be treated special! You're not shy or depressed, just a narcissistic vain introvert!"

---

Vyrulisse posted...

Healing mains are stressful jobs and carry a lot of responsibility, that isn't exactly a casual role I imagine...

They really only exist to make it so that the skilled gamers (who do all of the work) can play with their friends
---

Vyrulisse posted...

That would be DPS in my view. They have no responsibility

depends on the game. In overwatch, dps players actually have to kill other players.

In an mmo pve situation, dps players need to do things like interrupt boss abilities, target swap, manage aggro, etc.

Healers basically have the same exact job in every situation: make bars go up

---

Why are people so quick to "tough love" tactics when it comes to helping people with self-image issues?

---

Beveren_Rabbit posted...

Why are people so quick to "tough love" tactics when it comes to helping people with self-image issues?

Lack of empathy, mostly.

---

Get her a cat or something

She's only a casual gamer and you consider her a friend lmao

---

Zodd3224 posted...

She's only a casual gamer and you consider her a friend lmao

If she didn't have me, she wouldn't have anybody

Beveren_Rabbit posted...

Why are people so quick to "tough love" tactics when it comes to helping people with self-image issues?

I can't coddle her.

chairforceone posted...

Get her a cat or something

She didn't like that suggestion very much
---

I'm sorry but you dont seem like a very nice person. Stop treating your friend like shit and maybe she'll stop dumping on you.

---

I'm surprised so many people responded to this topic seriously.

Duncanwii posted...

I'm sorry but you dont seem like a very nice person. Stop treating your friend like shit and maybe she'll stop dumping on you.

---

PleaseClap posted...

What makes you say that? Im genuinely asking what I can do to help out someone whos less fortunate than me.

I dunno. Im a dick. It's just stuff like noticing and complimenting/giving props when they accomplish something or if you have the confidence and can take the blow yourself, I constantly bring up how people can dominate in areas I struggle with. Cause not only are you complimenting them, but you're showcasing that it's not something everyone is good at.

Just make sure your compliments aren't forced and disingenuous. Cause self aware people can instantly tell and when they realize you're just bigging them up cause you pity them, it has the opposite affect that you wanted. That's why the comparison helps too, cause when I point out the flaw in myself they can always reference it later on in their head and be like "damn, I really don't struggle with that like he does".

I dunno if most this advice works for others because Im just stating techniques that I grew into and are huge parts of my natural personality. Digging into myself for the benefit of others without it affecting my own self esteem is one my only redeeming qualities >_>.

---

HellRatUFO posted...

What is her body like? How is her physique? If her problems feeling ugly are relating to these things, she sounds like the type of person that wants to relish in a problem she could fix instead of working on herself. Take care of your body and the admiration and validation you seek from the opposite sex will come naturally.

Her problem isn't that she feels ugly
---

HellRatUFO posted...

What is her body like? How is her physique? If her problems feeling ugly are relating to these things, she sounds like the type of person that wants to relish in a problem she could fix instead of working on herself. Take care of your body and the admiration and validation you seek from the opposite sex will come naturally.

Im a big believer in if you have a problem that you're not actively working towards fixing, just shut the fuck up about it. However, I realized it's instinct by people to not do that, so I just decided to become tolerant to it irl.

Im not even saying don't bring it up, Im just saying don't bitch about the results and go into detail about what you miss out on because you choose not to put in the work for it.

I don't work out, so I don't deserve the tight body (not just the tightness from being underweight) and the heightened attention that would come with it. Im not gonna complain I don't get that attention. I'll just make jokes about how bigger women can kick my ass. Which makes people laugh instead of feel down.

---

There are aspects of ugly that can't be fixed lol.

Lost_All_Senses posted...

I don't work out, so I don't deserve the tight body (not just the tightness from being underweight) and the heightened attention that would come with it. Im not gonna complain I don't get that attention.

Plenty of people get attention without working out tho. While plenty of people work out and don't get positive attention (the manlet meme actually started to make fun of short guys who overcompensate by bulking up huge, for example). At some point you can trace the issue back to innate features we have no control over.
---

Infost posted...

Plenty of people get attention without working out tho. While plenty of people work out and don't get positive attention (the manlet meme actually started to make fun of short guys who overcompensate by bulking up huge, for example). At some point you can trace the issue back to innate features we have no control over.

Nope. You're just more attracted to the hateful attention people get. It's obvious anything on the internet comes with those comments. The ones that actually matter will let you know when you're bettering yourself. And I never implied working out was literally the only way to get attention. No idea why you would read what I posted and take it that way. It was just an example and you decided to focus on it fir whatever reason. This topic wasn't even about working out, which should make it even more clear that it was an example.

---

Lost_All_Senses posted...

I dunno. Im a dick. It's just stuff like noticing and complimenting/giving props when they accomplish something or if you have the confidence and can take the blow yourself, I constantly bring up how people can dominate in areas I struggle with. Cause not only are you complimenting them, but you're showcasing that it's not something everyone is good at.

Just make sure your compliments aren't forced and disingenuous. Cause self aware people can instantly tell and when they realize you're just bigging them up cause you pity them, it has the opposite affect that you wanted. That's why the comparison helps too, cause when I point out the flaw in myself they can always reference it later on in their head and be like "damn, I really don't struggle with that like he does".

I dunno if most this advice works for others because Im just stating techniques that I grew into and are huge parts of my natural personality. Digging into myself for the benefit of others without it affecting my own self esteem is one my only redeeming qualities >_>.

I'm honestly struggling to think of any areas I struggle with that she succeeds in. It's very hard to compliment her.
---

Lost_All_Senses posted...

Nope. You're just more attracted to the hateful attention people get. It's obvious anything on the internet comes with those comments. The ones that actually matter will let you know when you're bettering yourself. And I never implied working out was literally the only way to get attention. No idea why you would read what I posted and take it that way. It was just an example and you decided to focus on it fir whatever reason. This topic wasn't even about working out, which should make it even more clear that it was an example.

It was just an example.

PleaseClap posted...

I'm honestly struggling to think of any areas I struggle with that she succeeds in. It's very hard to compliment her.

Well at least she doesn't post on GFAQs.

Realistically tho it's hard to see how someone is friends with someone who they can't compliment on anything. Hopefully it's not a pity scenario.
---

PleaseClap posted...

I'm honestly struggling to think of any areas I struggle with that she succeeds in. It's very hard to compliment her.

I don't think anyone is hard to compliment if you hang out with them enough. If it was that hard to find a good quality in them, why would someone even hang out with them that much anyway >_>. She has to have some reasons that make you even care in the 1st place

---

I think we're witnessing one of two things.

A masterful troll topic, or a genuinely bad friend. Either way, it's interesting like a train wreck.

---

PleaseClap posted...

Lately, she's been getting jealous of the attention that I've been receiving from people.

oh, i see. why don't you console her?

---

Infost posted...

It was just an example.

Well at least she doesn't post on GFAQs.

Realistically tho it's hard to see how someone is friends with someone who they can't compliment on anything. Hopefully it's not a pity scenario.

At least theres that.

It honestly feels like a pity thing at times, but she has no where else to go.

Wewillrocku posted...

oh, i see. why don't you console her?

Thats why I made this topic.

Im getting kinda tired of being called a bad friend when Ive show time and time again that I have her best interests at heart and am looking out for her, despite her shortcomings.
---

Is she willing to change herself?

---

yunalenne10 posted...

Is she willing to change herself?

I think that she really wants to be more like me. I also think that thats an unrealistic goal for her, and Im having trouble letting her down gently there
---

PleaseClap posted...

I think that she really wants to be more like me. I also think that thats an unrealistic goal for her, and Im having trouble letting her down gently there

Play her this

https://youtu.be/AgIi5jZUrV4

---

I wonder how the responses in this topic would have gone if the sexes were male in OP. >_>
---

What difference would that have made?
---

I want to be friends with your friend. Pls introduce me.

spanky1 posted...

I wonder how the responses in this topic would have gone if the sexes were male in OP. >_>

You should learn to pay attention to the actual topic at hand. You'll learn more about society when you're not doing hypotheticals in your head that are projections of your already established theories/beliefs.

---

^Is a goddamn expert on society

I don't like to brag. But I've pretty much been in a society since I was born.

---

I'm honestly almost dreading talking to her tonight and trying to sift through her issues.
---