Current Events > Should a trans person reveal they are trans before a date?

(+) Yeah! (+)

The Trent posted...

It's a fact that it's the statistical majority, or normality

Go around calling everyone abnormal for being or thinking something that is outside a statistical majority and document the reactions.

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I'm not in that business. But I wont act like these words dont have definitions that arent applicable either.

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How is a gay person supposed to know the person they want to pursue is gay without someone letting them know they are gay?
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Only if y'all going to fuck.

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@hockeybub89

Please give a respectable response to post #209.

Just say so if you misspoke, but you're NOT too busy to reply because you're still around, lol. Were you just arguing in bad faith this entire time and needed a tactical retreat when presented with direct questions that require direct answers?
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2Privileged4U posted...

hockeybub89 posted...

2Privileged4U posted...

Please elaborate.

I mean, there is no such thing as an unnatural person. "It's natural that people won't be attracted to trans people" is dehumanizing and tells on the type of person who would say it. It implies any attracted to a trans person is acting against nature. It shows ignorance about homosexuality as well since trans men or trans women can be gay, straight, or bi.

It all just proves a bigger agenda than "People have dating preferences".

So you're saying that our attractions aren't natural, then? We have physical, emotional and mental attractions all across the board, but they aren't natural?

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That's what I thought!
https://youtu.be/mfSq2bXvdgw

Anyway, this whole thing is a work in progress. Change is happening and everybody is trying to make sense of it. But getting exposed as a disingenuous coward will ruin whatever chance an individual has of being taken seriously.

Be honest and up front.
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thanosibe posted...

Making a meal for a vegan thats really meat.

Vegan eats it and gets mad when its revealed.

Lol why you mad, you liked it didnt you?

Lots of posters on CE on this topic.

Anteaterking posted...

Should people with dietary restrictions tell people who might be preparing food for them?

When preparing a meal for someone it is always a good idea to ask if someone has dietary restrictions. For example, you don't don't want to give whole milk to someone who is lactose intolerant. You don't want to give someone pork who is against pork for religious reasons. You don't want to give someone carrot juice who gags the second carrot juice gets in their mouth. Everyone has preferences to what type of food they love and desire and it is common courtesy to ask what type food someone likes. I would be greatly upset if someone took me to a carrot juice bar (I really do NOT like Carrot juice), but I would love it if someone brought me to a pizza buffet (and asking me if I love pizza would be a huge clue that bringing me to a pizza buffet is the way to the heart in my stomach).


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No. If someone is too closed-minded to have sex with a trans person, he or she should be shunned from society permanently.

Ic3Bullet posted...

No. If someone is too closed-minded to have sex with a trans person, he or she should be shunned from society permanently.

It's not Independence Day, no need to peddle false flags.

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Wokebebe posted...

The real problem here is that some bigots wont date trans people!

It's called personal preference. People are allowed to have preferences.

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I could've sworn I heard a dog whistle...
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Ic3Bullet posted...

No. If someone is too closed-minded to have sex with a trans person, he or she should be shunned from society permanently.

Is this for real?

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Anteaterking posted...

Should people with dietary restrictions tell people who might be preparing food for them?

Yes. Thats like a no brainer

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BillORileyReid posted...

And if the person is afraid to bring it up out of fear of consequence, how the fuck is that any different later on?

The person literally is going to find out. Unless all they want is a failed relationship where the other person doesn't get to find out, then by all means let them do their thing.

The same reason people typically don't (as an example) unload all their emotional baggage in the first few dates. On the initial date, that level of trust isn't there.


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DrunkieBrewster posted...

Not having your time wasted is a shared concern, so why not respect it by being up front before the date? That's mutual respect.

Most people don't like the idea of spending time and money on somebody deliberately withholding information that could make or break the date plan, so why play silly games?

Dating is not easy for trans people. They are in a minority within a minority. There's little that can be done about finding a mate with ease when you're trans.

Because the choice to withhold this specific information is not simply a matter of silly games. If transpeople were respected as much as cispeople, then you would be correct here.

You are right that it isn't easy and that we're still figuring it all out.


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Musourenka posted...

DrunkieBrewster posted...

Not having your time wasted is a shared concern, so why not respect it by being up front before the date? That's mutual respect.

Most people don't like the idea of spending time and money on somebody deliberately withholding information that could make or break the date plan, so why play silly games?

Dating is not easy for trans people. They are in a minority within a minority. There's little that can be done about finding a mate with ease when you're trans.

Because the choice to withhold this specific information is not simply a matter of silly games. If transpeople were respected as much as cispeople, then you would be correct here.

You are right that it isn't easy and that we're still figuring it all out.

So far, we've seen that withholding info isn't the best route, though. People in general hate to feel catfished. Trans people aren't a special exception regardless of the reasoning behind it. Even many trans people aren't down with that method. Again, mutual respect. An individual cannot claim to be a respectable person(or demand respect) when they're willing to enter somebody else's life under deceptive pretenses.

If you go on a dating site and find somebody clearly looking for something specific in their profile, it's intellectually dishonest to pretend that you didn't know what they meant. Self accountability applies to everybody.

If this basic act of courtesy is something that can't be agreed upon without trying to put a disingenuous spin on somebody else's argument or trying to move the goal post(like what's going on ITT), then there is no incentive to engage that person or even continue paying attention. As a person, their character is a turn off. A deceiver will deceive you in multiple areas of life, not just one. It's never isolated.

But I can agree to disagree with you. Sometimes it just seems like people usher in their OWN self fulfilling prophecies by sabotaging it before somebody else gets a chance. We all have insecurities, but nobody else should have to share the burden of somebody else's self image.
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Yes. For safety and respect of the other person as well.

If you tell and they stay, the fear of it all is gone and the trans person can be who they are without worrying of being "caught." There would be no concern about whether they'd love you if you came out, and they'd know you are incapable of children from the get-go.

If you tell and they don't stay, the trans person dodged a bullet.

If you don't tell and they stay, you live in secrecy every day of your life worried about every little giveaway to your identity. You trap yourself to someone who in private, might physically harm you or even kill you upon finding out. While the "gay panic" defense is bullshit, people who won't take it will WILL attempt to murder a trans person, and this is not a risk worth taking.

If you don't tell and they don't stay, then you again, dodged a bullet.

All in all, it's far better telling anyone you plan to date. Don't have to tell friends, but a lover will find out eventually.

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giving people reasons to not trust you is not the way to start any sort of relationship, lolololol. platonic or otherwise. that's a dodged bullet for BOTH sides.
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Yes. Dont see how anyone could argue otherwise.

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Basically just tag everybody who advocates for being a goddamned liar. I know everybody lies but you don't fucking promote that shit as if it's acceptable, smh.

The societal decay continues.
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As soon as possible.

thanosibe posted...

Yes. Thats like a no brainer

In the analogy, that's people who don't want to date trans people.

Agnostic420 posted...

Is that a legit thing? Ive never heard anyone ever say that Im in one of the most prominent LGTBQ towns in the US.

It's the opposite in Latin of the prefix "trans-".

E.g. the opposite of transatlantic is cisatlantic, even though in that example there are likely better words you could use to convey the same idea.

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Sayoria posted...

Yes. For safety and respect of the other person as well.

<u>If you tell and they stay</u>, the fear of it all is gone and the trans person can be who they are without worrying of being "caught." There would be no concern about whether they'd love you if you came out, and they'd know you are incapable of children from the get-go.

<u>If you tell and they don't stay</u>, the trans person dodged a bullet.

<u>If you don't tell and they stay</u>, you live in secrecy every day of your life worried about every little giveaway to your identity. You trap yourself to someone who in private, might physically harm you or even kill you upon finding out. While the "gay panic" defense is bullshit, people who won't take it will WILL attempt to murder a trans person, and this is not a risk worth taking.

<u>If you don't tell and they don't stay</u>, then you again, dodged a bullet.

All in all, it's far better telling anyone you plan to date. Don't have to tell friends, but a lover will find out eventually.

This should be pinned to OP
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Musourenka posted...

The same reason people typically don't (as an example) unload all their emotional baggage in the first few dates. On the initial date, that level of trust isn't there.

Bruh

Wouldn't you rather they accept you for who you are?

Why the fuck would you waste time with somebody when there's a possibility they won't go out with you off the bat because you're trans? Why would you waste their time?
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@2Privileged4U Was your post 276 modded or self deleted?

Yes, as a matter of honesty and respect for the relationship.

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...I swear we just went over this topic a week ago.

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Izrael posted...

...I swear we just went over this topic a week ago.

correct, i believe the TC was the same as well

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I mean its 336 to 36 and even with inflated fake Gamefaqs poll numbers, so 90%.

Honesty is always the best policy.

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2Privileged4U posted...

So you're saying that our attractions aren't natural, then? We have physical, emotional and mental attractions all across the board, but they aren't natural?

I literally just said there is no such thing as an unnatural person. Why the hell would I be implying that everyone's acting unnaturally?

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RickyTheBAWSE posted...

giving people reasons to not trust you is not the way to start any sort of relationship, lolololol. platonic or otherwise. that's a dodged bullet for BOTH sides.

So you don't trust anyone that doesn't give you their life story the first time you meet them? That kind of trust is earned. You have to unlock all the dialog options through leveling

This kind of logic implies that the only reason someone would be slow to give information is because they are a deceitful liar. Everyone in the closet is deceitful. Everyone with some medical condition or repressed trauma is a lying asshole. You aren't allowed privacy and control of personal info if you want to interact with another human being.

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hockeybub89 on some 12 angry men shit

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A wise man once said that if you got "tricked" by a transgender person you were probably bisexual at the very least, or extremely drunk, blind, or stupid. If you can't tell by observation alone you are beyond hope.

BlackJackCat posted...

A wise man once said that if you got "tricked" by a transgender person you were probably bisexual at the very least, or extremely drunk, blind, or stupid. If you can't tell by observation alone you are beyond hope.

Someone give this dude a pepsi challenge since it's so obvious always

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CarrieChan posted...

@2Privileged4U Was your post 276 modded or self deleted?

Modded.

They don't want the conversation.
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hockeybub89 posted...

2Privileged4U posted...

So you're saying that our attractions aren't natural, then? We have physical, emotional and mental attractions all across the board, but they aren't natural?

I literally just said there is no such thing as an unnatural person. Why the hell would I be implying that everyone's acting unnaturally?

You're literally trying to control the context that "natural" is used for OTHER people in your bad faith argument. Your use of the term is irrelevant to how anybody ITT is using it.

Manipulative liberal bullshit is why you won't address these arguments the way they're being presented, and instead misrepresent it in your "response." Who said anything about an "unnatural person" besides you?

Our attractions are natural. Physical, mental and emotional. If you're not attracted to somebody, you're not attracted. No mental gymnastics or guilt trips are going to change that. Look at the poll and process what that means.

hockeybub89 posted...

RickyTheBAWSE posted...

giving people reasons to not trust you is not the way to start any sort of relationship, lolololol. platonic or otherwise. that's a dodged bullet for BOTH sides.

So you don't trust anyone that doesn't give you their life story the first time you meet them? That kind of trust is earned. You have to unlock all the dialog options through leveling

This kind of logic implies that the only reason someone would be slow to give information is because they are a deceitful liar. Everyone in the closet is deceitful. Everyone with some medical condition or repressed trauma is a lying asshole. You aren't allowed privacy and control of personal info if you want to interact with another human being.

You spun the FUCK out that post and added your own bullshit. Who said anything about a life story? You exaggerate, stretch the truth and everything else that's dishonest. No wonder you're advocating for more deception. (I'm not saying being trans in ITSELF is deception. Clarification for the impaired)

I hope a little boy makes a birthday wish to keep you from being dishonest for a day.
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there's literally nothing liberal or manipulative about it. it's science. this is why we, only after the enlightenment has passed, see medical interest in helping transgender people live the best lives possible.

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Right, because that was totally the full context of the statement you chose to isolate and respond to with a straw man.

/Sarcasm
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i think it's bizarre how you're lashing out.

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Not as bizarre as your choice of words or lack of acknowledgement that you tried to spin somebody else's post.

When all else fails, go full on troll, right?
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context is just a bag of shit anyway, i hear christian overtones in your posts.

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lol

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I don't follow any religion. That failed accessment, your nonchalant attitude for context and the failures of your post before that tells me that you've got nothing else to offer but trolling.

Thanks, lol
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If this poll was worldwide, itll still look the same. Its common curiosity.

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aw man he blocked me =(

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failed accessment lol

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OmegaPillow posted...

If this poll was worldwide, itll still look the same. Its common curiosity.

Pretty much. If the bar is now "you're a bigot if you don't want to date me," society is in a worse place than originally thought.

The Trent posted...

aw man he blocked me =(

For not wanting to go on a date with him?
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