Poll of the Day > Would you rather fight 1 bear sized duck or 100 duck sized bears?

(+) Yeah! (+)

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A bear sized duck would be harmless despite its size. 100 duck sized bears would have no issue killing me.

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Definitely bear sized duck. It wouldn't be pleasant but at least it doesn't have actual teeth.
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I wouldn't even want to fight 1 duck-sized duck.
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wwinterj25 posted...

A bear sized duck would be harmless despite its size

Spoken like someone who's never had to face down pissed-off waterfowl. They're fucking nasty even at normal size; at bear-size they might be worse than actual bears (given that their wings and bill will give them better reach).

Fighting duck-sized bears would kind of be like fighting cats who can't jump - still not pleasant and you'll have plenty of scratches/bite marks at the end of it, but none of them should be above shin-height.
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Eh maybe I'm overconfident because I have won many battles with ducks. XD
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I think the bear sized duck. 100 duck sized bears seem like they would kill me painfully. So many of them. And the teeth and claws...
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This is why appropriate punctuation is important.
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1 koala bear sized duck shouldn't be a problem
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Duck sized bears would be too cute. I couldn't fight them.
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Quack quack mother fucker
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No more Mr. nice duck.

Hmm yeah I probably should have made it 10 bears instead of 100 to make it simpler...
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100 small things with teeth and claws vs 1 large thing with a bill and wings...hmm yep going with the 1 large bear sized duck
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darkknight109 posted...

Spoken like someone who's never had to face down pissed-off waterfowl.

I just assumed the TC was talking about rubber ducks.
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FrozenBananas posted...

Hmm yeah I probably should have made it 10 bears instead of 100 to make it simpler...

yeah ive never understood the 100 part

there should be an equivalent of mass

I'm going duck sized bears. I imagine the bite force on a bear sized duck would easily crush bone. And they can run and bite pretty fast if my experience with geese is anything to go by.
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KeijiMaedaTiger posted...

I imagine the bite force on a bear sized duck would easily crush bone.

While 100 duck sized bears will just tear your limbs off.
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wwinterj25 posted...

KeijiMaedaTiger posted...

I imagine the bite force on a bear sized duck would easily crush bone.

While 100 duck sized bears will just tear your limbs off.

How? Do you not realize how small ducks are?
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KeijiMaedaTiger posted...

How? Do you not realize how small ducks are?

By having 100 duck sized bear attach themselves to your feet. Once they have you off your feet you're fucked. It's not hard to grasp.
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The bear-sized duck sounds less terrifying.
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wwinterj25 posted...

KeijiMaedaTiger posted...

How? Do you not realize how small ducks are?

By having 100 duck sized bear attach themselves to your feet. Once they have you off your feet you're fucked. It's not hard to grasp.

Yeah. I feel like it would be like the compys (Compsognathus), but worse...
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wwinterj25 posted...

KeijiMaedaTiger posted...

How? Do you not realize how small ducks are?

By having 100 duck sized bear attach themselves to your feet. Once they have you off your feet you're fucked. It's not hard to grasp.

I wouldn't call that tearing your limbs off. Eating tge flesh sure, but tearing them off? Fuck no.
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CTLM posted...

Quack quack mother fucker

You had an opportunity to use the term "mother ducker" and failed to do so. I am disappointed.
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Rubber Ducky You're The One

The One Who Makes Bathtime So Much Fun
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mh85R-S-dh8" data-time="&start=33
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Bear sized duck because you might at least have a chance to beat it. 100 is far too many to deal with, even at that size.
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Bear-sized duck would damage its bones by moving, it's a non-threat.
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My vousin pointed out to be thst ducks are rapists so i change my answer to duck sized bears hahahaha

I now imagin this coming after me but bear sized


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i would not mess with a bear sized duck. i'd rather not even get in a fight with a duck sized duck if i can at all avoid it (it is usually avoidable). i'd probably rather fight a bear sized bear than a hundred duck sized ducks. people who think ducks dont have teeth live in ignorant bliss of the jagged edges inside their bills, and have evidently never been bitten by a duck. a bears power lies in its strong jaws and muscular arms, and while it'd suck to be bitten by a duck sized bear, or in fact one hundred duck sized bears, i'd like to think they would be less powerful or lethal at that size simply for having smaller muscles, and it'd be like fighting a very large herd of small, funny looking dogs. perhaps i could exchange my legs' safety for a dog food offering with the bears. i'm sure the duck however will not consider peace negotiations, regardless of its size.

at the very least least ducks are not geese.

I feel like hollow bones couldn't support a bear sized animal.
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Lolhammy posted...

i would not mess with a bear sized duck. i'd rather not even get in a fight with a duck sized duck if i can at all avoid it (it is usually avoidable). i'd probably rather fight a bear sized bear than a hundred duck sized ducks. people who think ducks dont have teeth live in ignorant bliss of the jagged edges inside their bills, and have evidently never been bitten by a duck. a bears power lies in its strong jaws and muscular arms, and while it'd suck to be bitten by a duck sized bear, or in fact one hundred duck sized bears, i'd like to think they would be less powerful or lethal at that size simply for having smaller muscles, and it'd be like fighting a very large herd of small, funny looking dogs. perhaps i could exchange my legs' safety for a dog food offering with the bears. i'm sure the duck however will not consider peace negotiations, regardless of its size.

at the very least least ducks are not geese.

I've been bitten by dozens of ducks. Yes, they pinch like hell, but they still aren't teeth that are going to penetrate. As I said, I've won combat with many ducks. :P
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I feel like a duck-sized bear would barely be able to break skin if everything scaled down. Bear claws are usually between 30 and 100 mm long, and the bear itself is about 2 m long, while most ducks are about 30 cm long (not counting the neck and head). Scaling down, that would make bear claws of a duck-sized bear roughly 5 to 15 mm, which isn't much longer than a cat's, and the teeth would be smaller still.

I still hold that handling a swarm of duck-sized bears would be a much, much easier proposition.
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Ostriches and badgers already exist.

Moonjay posted...

Eh maybe I'm overconfident because I have won many battles with ducks. XD

Wait, their beatable?
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deadpigs101 posted...

Moonjay posted...

Eh maybe I'm overconfident because I have won many battles with ducks. XD

Wait, their beatable?

Well, theyre not cuccos...
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KeijiMaedaTiger posted...

I wouldn't call that tearing your limbs off. Eating tge flesh sure, but tearing them off? Fuck no.

It would be possible for them to do so once you're off your feet. We are talking all hypothetical here and its seems to me you're trying to correct me just for the sake of it.
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The duck. Plus, it would make a better meal.
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darkknight109 posted...

I feel like a duck-sized bear would barely be able to break skin if everything scaled down. Bear claws are usually between 30 and 100 mm long, and the bear itself is about 2 m long, while most ducks are about 30 cm long (not counting the neck and head). Scaling down, that would make bear claws of a duck-sized bear roughly 5 to 15 mm, which isn't much longer than a cat's, and the teeth would be smaller still.

I still hold that handling a swarm of duck-sized bears would be a much, much easier proposition.

100 cats could totally kill someone. One cat could kill someone if they hit the right stuff.

deadpigs101 posted...

Moonjay posted...

Eh maybe I'm overconfident because I have won many battles with ducks. XD

Wait, their beatable?

Oh yeah, totally. If they're flying right at your face, all you really need to do is shove them in mid air and send them careening off in a random direction. Kind of like alligators, you can hold their bills shut and they can't open it again. And if worst comes to worst, you can grab them by their legs and hold them upside down. Always a good power move against ducks and chickens.
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Moonjay posted...

100 cats could totally kill someone. One cat could kill someone if they hit the right stuff.

Yet it's never happened. Ever.

I actually decided to look this up and the only deaths directly caused by cats are:
1) Infections or other diseases spread through scratches and bites
2) People tripping over them
3) One case where a cat smothered an infant

Most of the victims were children, not adults. There are a few websites out there asking the question, "Can a cat kill you?" and the consensus answer is "no". Cats simply can't generate enough force to rupture any of the major blood vessels that would put the victim at risk of death.
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Hey, fair enough. Though I also think it's because cats are more likely to run than to keep mauling you like a bear would.
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darkknight109 posted...

Moonjay posted...

100 cats could totally kill someone. One cat could kill someone if they hit the right stuff.

Yet it's never happened. Ever.

I actually decided to look this up and the only deaths directly caused by cats are:
1) Infections or other diseases spread through scratches and bites
2) People tripping over them
3) One case where a cat smothered an infant

Most of the victims were children, not adults. There are a few websites out there asking the question, "Can a cat kill you?" and the consensus answer is "no". Cats simply can't generate enough force to rupture any of the major blood vessels that would put the victim at risk of death.

Maybe not directly. Though, I still wouldnt want to go up against 100. I think that many might be able to do some serious damage. Worse than killing, probably. Haha. Id rather go against the duck. Maybe distract it with bread. Idk...
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darkknight109 posted...

Moonjay posted...

100 cats could totally kill someone. One cat could kill someone if they hit the right stuff.

Yet it's never happened. Ever.

I actually decided to look this up and the only deaths directly caused by cats are:
1) Infections or other diseases spread through scratches and bites
2) People tripping over them
3) One case where a cat smothered an infant

Most of the victims were children, not adults. There are a few websites out there asking the question, "Can a cat kill you?" and the consensus answer is "no". Cats simply can't generate enough force to rupture any of the major blood vessels that would put the victim at risk of death.

I saw a 1000 Ways To Die episode where a woman died by drinking cat's milk from their nipples.
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The more I think about it, the more I still think that an insistent cat or a horde of cats could kill a human... But what it really comes down to is that they don't because of their nature. They are predators but they're small and smart and know that they are small.

A dog, a bear, a damn duck will come at you for no reason and keep going after you even if you run away. While there are a few psychotic outliers, cats mostly won't keep fighting with something bigger than themselves. They are smart enough to run away. So unless you're cornering or forcefully holding a cat, they'll always do minimal damage. If domesticated cats had the same sort of pack mentality as dogs, I think a herd of them attacking would be very bad. But cats are cats, thankfully for us. XD
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Zangulus posted...

Dont you dare challenge my Nekomancer powers! You think I have this many cats not to murder someone and destroy the evidence? Just test me, pal.

OK. In the Japanese sport of sumo, what is the title of the second-highest rank of wrestler?

Moonjay posted...

The more I think about it, the more I still think that an insistent cat or a horde of cats could kill a human... But what it really comes down to is that they don't because of their nature. They are predators but they're small and smart and know that they are small.

A dog, a bear, a damn duck will come at you for no reason and keep going after you even if you run away.

I'd say that depends very much on the dog, the bear, the duck, the cat, and the circumstances surrounding the encounter.

Having previously lived in bear country, I can attest that most of them are runners. The black bears are big cowards and even the big grizzlies are generally pretty shy when it comes to humans and will run away if they know you're there (I've literally come face-to-face - as in, less than two metres away - with a grizzly bear that was ~5x my size when I turned a corner on my deck while it was coming the other way and it bolted as soon as it saw me). The only exceptions are if there's cubs or food nearby, or if the bear is acclimatized to humans. Most bears are omnivores and subsist mostly on berries or foraged kills; what animals they do go after are usually things like fish - i.e., stuff that's not going to fight back. Unless they're very hungry, bears don't often kill for food like a cougar will; they only fight to protect food, territory, or cubs.

Given that a bear is used to being the biggest customer in its environment (possible exception for where they overlap with moose populations), I suspect they would be even more cowardly than cats would be if they were shrunk down to be duck-sized. By contrast, ducks are already remarkably fearless if you find one in a bad mood and they will dive-bomb or harass humans getting near food or nests (and they have absolutely no compulsions against picking on things their size or smaller, as anyone who has owned a flock of ducks can attest) - I think if you scale that up it would be more than happy to fight to the death with a human-sized target.
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darkknight109 posted...

wwinterj25 posted...

A bear sized duck would be harmless despite its size

Spoken like someone who's never had to face down pissed-off waterfowl. They're fucking nasty even at normal size; at bear-size they might be worse than actual bears (given that their wings and bill will give them better reach).

Fighting duck-sized bears would kind of be like fighting cats who can't jump - still not pleasant and you'll have plenty of scratches/bite marks at the end of it, but none of them should be above shin-height.

In my experience with the geese in the area, and raising ducks, they are all bark and little bite.

I don't think I could even take a bear sized goose seriously.
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CarefreeDude posted...

In my experience with the geese in the area, and raising ducks, they are all bark and little bite.

That's not my personal experience. Geese and swans are fucking ill-tempered hell-beasts. I've seen geese attacking wolves while defending a nest. Yeah, they're not going to seriously injure you (because, c'mon, they're non-predatory birds), but they're ready and willing to throw down if you piss them off.

Ducks, admittedly, tend to be much more even tempered, at least when it comes to things bigger than they are, but even from them I've seen some fighting spirit when they're defending a nest (usually only against unfamiliar people, though - our ducks never seemed to care about family members going near their nests).
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darkknight109 posted...

CarefreeDude posted...

In my experience with the geese in the area, and raising ducks, they are all bark and little bite.

That's not my personal experience. Geese and swans are fucking ill-tempered hell-beasts. I've seen geese attacking wolves while defending a nest. Yeah, they're not going to seriously injure you (because, c'mon, they're non-predatory birds), but they're ready and willing to throw down if you piss them off.

Ducks, admittedly, tend to be much more even tempered, at least when it comes to things bigger than they are, but even from them I've seen some fighting spirit when they're defending a nest (usually only against unfamiliar people, though - our ducks never seemed to care about family members going near their nests).

Man, swans are rather jerks, but they also can't do anything. My macaw got into an argument with one once, it was funny
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