Current Events > what exactly goes thru the mind of someone while cheating on their lover?

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SSJCAT
05/20/19 6:05:04 PM
#1:


just wanna understand why
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SSJCAT
05/20/19 6:16:16 PM
#2:


like is it just a fog that theyre in and they arent thinking coherently or something?

or do they just legitimately not care if they hurt someone who loves them?
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Syncronous
05/20/19 6:16:46 PM
#3:


Yes
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Tyranthraxus
05/20/19 6:17:12 PM
#4:


They think they can get away with it and "what someone doesn't know won't hurt them"
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BuckVanHammer
05/20/19 6:17:15 PM
#5:


never cheated, but i would guess most have some fucked up way of justifying it...
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SSJCAT
05/20/19 6:17:54 PM
#6:


BuckVanHammer posted...
never cheated, but i would guess most have some fucked up way of justifying it...

thats what i want to get to tho... what is this justification and mindset?
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FFVII_REMAKE
05/20/19 6:18:17 PM
#7:


Probably an image of a higher figure beati ng the shit out of them.
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SSJCAT
05/20/19 6:20:18 PM
#8:


i just dont get it.. everything can seem so perfect and great but its all just fake to them and only real to you:..
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voldothegr8
05/20/19 6:22:02 PM
#9:


"Hey this is something new!"
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TreyFlowers
05/20/19 6:22:43 PM
#10:


"You know who's a million times hotter than the hottest girl I've ever slept with? Her okay-looking friend I haven't seen naked".

Barney Stinson
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Leanaunfurled
05/20/19 6:23:01 PM
#11:


I figure they aren't thinking much at all. They just give so little shits in that regard.
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Purple_Cheetah
05/20/19 6:23:38 PM
#12:


It's not cheating, just clever use of life mechanics.
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JlM
05/20/19 6:23:57 PM
#13:


Most girls who I've known to have cheated usually said "he didn't pay attention to me". In a good amount of those cases, I'd say that while it was probably actually true, it's still not a justification for cheating. Address it or break up.
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SSJCAT
05/20/19 6:25:12 PM
#14:


is it possible to cheat on someone you love? or are they just lying when they say they love you
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SSJCAT
05/20/19 6:25:33 PM
#15:


JlM posted...
Most girls who I've known to have cheated usually said "he didn't pay attention to me". In a good amount of those cases, I'd say that while it was probably actually true, it's still not a justification for cheating. Address it or break up.

i gave all my attention to my bf
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_Rinku_
05/20/19 6:26:36 PM
#16:


Here's what a cheater told me after the fact

"Our relationship was basically over anyway."

So, cheaters are mentally checked out of the relationship and don't see it as doing anything wrong.
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HBOSS
05/20/19 6:28:54 PM
#17:


I never meant to be so bad to you
One thing I said that I would never do
A look from you and I would fall from grace
And that would wipe this smile right from my face
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NeoBowser
05/20/19 6:31:48 PM
#18:


that would depend on the person. some people have little to no consciousness while others are indeed in some blind uncontrolled rush and not thinking in the moment. former one is heartless but both are equly as bad to me
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Leanaunfurled
05/20/19 6:31:51 PM
#19:


SSJCAT posted...
is it possible to cheat on someone you love? or are they just lying when they say they love you

In some cases, they're mentally checked out already, as someone else said. In other cases, they care about you in certain degrees and they certainly think they love you. It isn't actually love if they knowingly hurt you like that, though.
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Webmaster4531
05/20/19 6:33:21 PM
#20:


The bullet.
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Tyranthraxus
05/20/19 6:35:23 PM
#21:


SSJCAT posted...
is it possible to cheat on someone you love? or are they just lying when they say they love you

Probably the latter. If it wasn't cheating then you could be honest about it.

"Hey I'm going out to fuck your sister."
"No probs just be back by 9:30"
~ shit that never happens
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Touch
05/20/19 6:35:24 PM
#22:


I think of the movie The Last Kiss with Zach Braff
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I Like Toast
05/20/19 6:35:42 PM
#23:


Probably something like I bet they are going to passive aggressively post about this on an internet message board rather than ask me.
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Leanaunfurled
05/20/19 6:37:10 PM
#24:


I Like Toast posted...
Probably something like I bet they are going to passive aggressively post about this on an internet message board rather than ask me.

Yeah, because honesty is totes your cheater's forte. /s
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SSJCAT
05/20/19 6:37:30 PM
#25:


i guess maybe it could be like an addiction like how heroin makes people do things they never would want to those they love...

but i gave all my love and all the sex they ever wanted whenever they wanted.
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SSJCAT
05/20/19 6:37:57 PM
#26:


I Like Toast posted...
Probably something like I bet they are going to passive aggressively post about this on an internet message board rather than ask me.

ive tried to talk to them about this multiple times but thanks for the input
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UnfairRepresent
05/20/19 6:40:43 PM
#27:


_Rinku_ posted...
Here's what a cheater told me after the fact

"Our relationship was basically over anyway."

So, cheaters are mentally checked out of the relationship and don't see it as doing anything wrong.

this
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SSJCAT
05/20/19 6:43:40 PM
#28:


do they even think about their lover while cheating or do they just block them out of their mind during the affair
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AlephZero
05/20/19 6:44:03 PM
#29:


my pp feel gud
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Leanaunfurled
05/20/19 6:44:06 PM
#30:


Another reason why cheaters cheat is because their partner keeps staying with them while giving them excuses to keep doing it while being "understanding." Such as comparing cheating to being addicted to drugs.
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SSJCAT
05/20/19 6:45:45 PM
#31:


Leanaunfurled posted...
Another reason why cheaters cheat is because their partner keeps staying with them while giving them excuses to keep doing it while being "understanding." Such as comparing cheating to being addicted to drugs.

please just be direct with me i kinda hate when people talk to me like this... im in a very low place right now

edit: im sorry i probably just interpreted a condescending tone because im upset i know youre probably trying to help
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EnragedSlith
05/20/19 6:50:42 PM
#32:


SSJCAT posted...
is it possible to cheat on someone you love? or are they just lying when they say they love you

Yes. No/maybe.
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Leanaunfurled
05/20/19 6:53:12 PM
#33:


SSJCAT posted...
Leanaunfurled posted...
Another reason why cheaters cheat is because their partner keeps staying with them while giving them excuses to keep doing it while being "understanding." Such as comparing cheating to being addicted to drugs.

please just be direct with me i kinda hate when people talk to me like this... im in a very low place right now

edit: im sorry i probably just interpreted a condescending tone because im upset i know youre probably trying to help

I was really very direct. They keep cheating because you make excuses for them and they know they can keep doing it and you'll keep making the stupid excuses. There's no excuse. Point blank. Period. You have the options of staying in a miserable relationship with someone who doesn't care about or respect you or you can care about and respect yourself and haul ass.
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Blightzkrieg
05/20/19 6:53:55 PM
#34:


"Ayyyyyy gonna ride me dat phat dick lmao"
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SSJCAT
05/20/19 6:55:24 PM
#35:


Blightzkrieg posted...
"Ayyyyyy gonna ride me dat phat dick lmao"

they were the top lol
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Darmik
05/20/19 7:00:26 PM
#36:


Were you cheated on?
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SSJCAT
05/20/19 7:01:07 PM
#37:


Darmik posted...
Were you cheated on?

very funny
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Darmik
05/20/19 7:02:44 PM
#38:


SSJCAT posted...
Darmik posted...
Were you cheated on?

very funny


I wasn't joking. I was just trying to understand the context of this topic.
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SSJCAT
05/20/19 7:04:55 PM
#39:


Darmik posted...
SSJCAT posted...
Darmik posted...
Were you cheated on?

very funny


I wasn't joking. I was just trying to understand the context of this topic.

my boyfriend cheated on me. before i found out they cheated on me i discovered they were talking to multiple guys but he insisted it was just talk... i know im pathetic and stupid
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Darmik
05/20/19 7:12:44 PM
#40:


SSJCAT posted...
my boyfriend cheated on me. before i found out they cheated on me i discovered they were talking to multiple guys but he insisted it was just talk... i know im pathetic and stupid


No you're not. You trusted someone and he let you down.

I think you need to have a serious conversation with him and talk about what happens from here. He needs to prove to you that he can regain your trust and that he can be 100% honest with you. If he can't then it's probably best to move on.

But we're all just reading and responding to message board posts. You know more about your relationship than anyone here.
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SSJCAT
05/20/19 7:17:07 PM
#41:


Darmik posted...
SSJCAT posted...
my boyfriend cheated on me. before i found out they cheated on me i discovered they were talking to multiple guys but he insisted it was just talk... i know im pathetic and stupid


No you're not. You trusted someone and he let you down.

I think you need to have a serious conversation with him and talk about what happens from here. He needs to prove to you that he can regain your trust and that he can be 100% honest with you. If he can't then it's probably best to move on.

But we're all just reading and responding to message board posts. You know more about your relationship than anyone here.

he never talks to me when i try. he just keeps saying i dont know to everything and doesnt open up at all. he has no justification, at least not that hes willing to tell me.
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SSJCAT
05/20/19 7:18:06 PM
#42:


he claims he really loves me and never means to hurt me.
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Darmik
05/20/19 7:24:31 PM
#43:


SSJCAT posted...
he never talks to me when i try. he just keeps saying i dont know to everything and doesnt open up at all. he has no justification, at least not that hes willing to tell me.


I don't think that's good enough personally.

SSJCAT posted...
he claims he really loves me and never means to hurt me.


Good for him. But he has. Why should you trust him again?
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SSJCAT
05/20/19 7:29:12 PM
#44:


Darmik posted...
SSJCAT posted...
he never talks to me when i try. he just keeps saying i dont know to everything and doesnt open up at all. he has no justification, at least not that hes willing to tell me.


I don't think that's good enough personally.

SSJCAT posted...
he claims he really loves me and never means to hurt me.


Good for him. But he has. Why should you trust him again?

i shouldnt... im desperate for him to love me. when we were actually together everything seemed perfect and wed get along so great and everything... but all the while he was just being a shady asshole...
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emblem boy
05/20/19 7:31:07 PM
#45:


SSJCAT posted...
Darmik posted...
SSJCAT posted...
Darmik posted...
Were you cheated on?

very funny


I wasn't joking. I was just trying to understand the context of this topic.

my boyfriend cheated on me. before i found out they cheated on me i discovered they were talking to multiple guys but he insisted it was just talk... i know im pathetic and stupid


What does "talking" mean here
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SSJCAT
05/20/19 7:31:34 PM
#46:


emblem boy posted...
SSJCAT posted...
Darmik posted...
SSJCAT posted...
Darmik posted...
Were you cheated on?

very funny


I wasn't joking. I was just trying to understand the context of this topic.

my boyfriend cheated on me. before i found out they cheated on me i discovered they were talking to multiple guys but he insisted it was just talk... i know im pathetic and stupid


What does "talking" mean here

sexting basically.
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vocedelmorte
05/20/19 7:31:52 PM
#47:


It just means he doesn't have a strong feelings for you / doesn't really love you. It happens sometimes that one of the people in relationships in love, but another one not so much. But they still feel comfortable been in relationships and enjoying been loved and wanted. And for some people it just convenient been in relationships. If you love someone a lot, you should realize that for them it might be different
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HBOSS
05/20/19 7:46:53 PM
#48:


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P2AUat93a8Q" data-time="

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Cleo_II
05/20/19 7:47:41 PM
#49:


Didnt you guys break up?
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SSJCAT
05/20/19 7:52:47 PM
#50:


Cleo_II posted...
Didnt you guys break up?

yea but i still feel lost and need closure
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