Current Events > Girl I've been seeing just cried to me for half an hour about her ex

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EnragedSlith
07/11/18 9:00:21 PM
#1:


Shed been acting weird so it finally came out. Im not mad, but I cant compete with five years where feelings are clearly still harbored. Just stupid because its only reached a point where shes bent out of shape specifically because we ARE compatible, which makes me a sort of threat where shed have to confront taking me on in this emotional space that pain currently occupies. Oh well, I can walk from this. Hows your night going, ce?
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littlebro07
07/11/18 9:02:14 PM
#2:


Clearly your only option is to fuck the ex to prove your dominance.
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Abyssea
07/11/18 9:02:16 PM
#3:


I'm good, thank you for asking. This picture I found on tumblr is making me feel things but i dont know why.

u4BPKuv
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bulletproofvita
07/11/18 9:02:21 PM
#4:


Ooooh.
Don't give up on her she might be close to being over the ex.
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DoomtheGrav
07/11/18 9:02:38 PM
#5:


Fuck that noise
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candyapplered
07/11/18 9:04:47 PM
#6:


You gonna get cucked!
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Muffinz0rz
07/11/18 9:07:10 PM
#7:


You gotta let her sort herself out on her own time. I'm not saying ditch her and tell her to call you when she's over it, but rather, keep doing what you're doing and don't let anything get too "exclusive" until she 100% guarantees you that there won't be any cheating or any shit like that with said ex.
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LookANinja
07/11/18 9:07:49 PM
#8:


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EnragedSlith
07/11/18 9:08:15 PM
#9:


bulletproofvita posted...
Ooooh.
Don't give up on her she might be close to being over the ex.

Doubt it
Abyssea posted...
I'm good, thank you for asking. This picture I found on tumblr is making me feel things but i dont know why.

u4BPKuv

Pervert
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dr_marble
07/11/18 9:09:15 PM
#10:


LookANinja posted...
Sounds like she needs time to be single.

This, if you're not doing the fuck the ex thing.
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#11
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TheVipaGTS
07/11/18 9:11:02 PM
#12:


I mean it can go two ways. Her feelings for her ex might never go away or you can change her feelings. I was in a two year relationship with someone who couldnt get over her ex and it didnt end well. You just gotta decide if youre willing to take that risk for the potential reward.
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TheGoldenEel
07/11/18 9:11:49 PM
#13:


How do you always find these girls dude
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Rad_Chad
07/11/18 9:12:06 PM
#14:


she's either unstable or just using you to cry until the next chad comes to town. bail bruh. i'm on my way.
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Flockaveli
07/11/18 9:13:09 PM
#15:


Did you have sex with her yet?
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bulletproofvita
07/11/18 9:14:50 PM
#16:


TheVipaGTS posted...
I mean it can go two ways. Her feelings for her ex might never go away or you can change her feelings. I was in a two year relationship with someone who couldnt get over her ex and it didnt end well. You just gotta decide if youre willing to take that risk for the potential reward.

It never ends well
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EnragedSlith
07/11/18 9:20:03 PM
#17:


TheGoldenEel posted...
How do you always find these girls dude

I work with her. Always felt a pretty strong compatibility and that we would wind up fucking, but I avoided it for a variety of reasons including this. But then SHE made the move, and I ran with it.
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refmon
07/11/18 9:21:38 PM
#18:


candyapplered posted...
You gonna get cucked!

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TommyG663513
07/11/18 9:21:56 PM
#19:


Eh I say continue on, but keep it casual. May as well wait things out if you feel you are pretty compatible. Don't get in too deep and call yourselves exclusive. Just try and have fun and all that.

If she doesn't improve enough by your breaking point then bail. Perhaps you've already reached that.
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EnragedSlith
07/11/18 9:25:48 PM
#20:


TommyG663513 posted...
Eh I say continue on, but keep it casual. May as well wait things out if you feel you are pretty compatible. Don't get in too deep and call yourselves exclusive. Just try and have fun and all that.

If she doesn't improve enough by your breaking point then bail. Perhaps you've already reached that.

Nah, I dont play that way. I know what I like and I know what I need, and Im not going to be used as a cure for horniness and loneliness by someone Im compatible with. If she was just a body, itd be different, but Ive known her for a year and I know theres a lot more here than physical chemistry.
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SpiralDrift
07/11/18 9:26:23 PM
#21:


If she wasn't the one to break the relationship I'd probably still give her a chance. 5 years is going to leave a scar no matter how stable you are and it's going to come up sooner or later either way.

Otherwise if the split was "complicated" or at least partly her doing I'd probably just move on.

The difference is between someone who knows that they want a serious relationship and someone who just wants to take what they can.
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bulletproofvita
07/11/18 9:27:21 PM
#22:


EnragedSlith posted...
TommyG663513 posted...
Eh I say continue on, but keep it casual. May as well wait things out if you feel you are pretty compatible. Don't get in too deep and call yourselves exclusive. Just try and have fun and all that.

If she doesn't improve enough by your breaking point then bail. Perhaps you've already reached that.

Nah, I dont play that way. I know what I like and I know what I need, and Im not going to be used as a cure for horniness and loneliness by someone Im compatible with. If she was just a body, itd be different, but Ive known her for a year and I know theres a lot more here than physical chemistry.

Yep you know you're being used while she still holds a flame for another.
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EnragedSlith
07/11/18 9:29:51 PM
#23:


Mind you, she brought up exclusivity (not that I play), was pushing just as hard as I was for more, and even had me drive way out to join in on this semi-annual thing with some really close friends. I think the last guy she did that with was this ex, and thats where it struck
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#24
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EnragedSlith
07/11/18 9:32:59 PM
#25:


byron posted...
EnragedSlith posted...
shes bent out of shape specifically because we ARE compatible,

Sounds like some BS she's feeding you

She didnt feed me shit. I know. She wanted me to stay.
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bulletproofvita
07/11/18 9:34:50 PM
#26:


Red flags???
Don't trust this one
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FrisbeeDude
07/11/18 9:37:03 PM
#27:


Get. Out. Now.

edit: had this girl over and maybe 20 minutes in, she gets a call from some on/off again boyfriend. spends 20 minutes trying to convince him we arent doing anything, only to get up and leave. apologized and told me she'd call me the next day. never spoke to her again
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thronedfire2
07/11/18 9:38:08 PM
#28:


wait you guys think a girl crying over an ex she was with for 5 years is a big enough red flag to immediately end things?

no wonder CE is forever single
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I could see you, but I couldn't hear you You were holding your hat in the breeze Turning away from me In this moment you were stolen...
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bulletproofvita
07/11/18 9:41:04 PM
#29:


FrisbeeDude posted...
Get. Out. Now.

edit: had this girl over and maybe 20 minutes in, she gets a call from some on/off again boyfriend. spends 20 minutes trying to convince him we arent doing anything, only to get up and leave. apologized and told me she'd call me the next day. never spoke to her again

lol nice date
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SpiralDrift
07/11/18 9:43:47 PM
#30:


thronedfire2 posted...
wait you guys think a girl crying over an ex she was with for 5 years is a big enough red flag to immediately end things?

no wonder CE is forever single

Exactly. On some level it's understandable, therefore not an instant deal breaker. Maybe still a deal breaker depending on other specifics, just not really by itself.
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TheVipaGTS
07/11/18 9:47:49 PM
#31:


SpiralDrift posted...
thronedfire2 posted...
wait you guys think a girl crying over an ex she was with for 5 years is a big enough red flag to immediately end things?

no wonder CE is forever single

Exactly. On some level it's understandable, therefore not an instant deal breaker. Maybe still a deal breaker depending on other specifics, just not really by itself.

Yup. You just have to go into it with the understanding that it could potentially end up hurting you. If you can deal with that then cool but there is a chance it could work out too.
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AbstraktProfSC2
07/11/18 9:48:18 PM
#32:


I was recently in something similiar. I was seeing the girl but we werent "together"
She suddenly stopped talking to me as much. I eventually found out her ex (of 6 years) came back in the picture
It sucks ass but Im glad she was honest with me up front instead of dragging it on.
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thronedfire2
07/11/18 9:48:48 PM
#33:


how long ago did she break up with him?
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I could see you, but I couldn't hear you You were holding your hat in the breeze Turning away from me In this moment you were stolen...
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EnragedSlith
07/11/18 9:57:16 PM
#34:


TheVipaGTS posted...
SpiralDrift posted...
thronedfire2 posted...
wait you guys think a girl crying over an ex she was with for 5 years is a big enough red flag to immediately end things?

no wonder CE is forever single

Exactly. On some level it's understandable, therefore not an instant deal breaker. Maybe still a deal breaker depending on other specifics, just not really by itself.

Yup. You just have to go into it with the understanding that it could potentially end up hurting you. If you can deal with that then cool but there is a chance it could work out too.

Thats stupid. And this shit only came up because she stopped putting in the way she had been. Im not some heartless bastard, but she cant possibly meet my needs in that state and if a natural escalation makes her uncomfortable. Nobody is worth being kept at a distance.
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Cleo_II
07/11/18 10:02:49 PM
#35:


TC is doing good in walking away. If shes not over her ex, she cant be emotionally available for a relationship. He should walk away, not wait around for her to get her shit together.

She spent half an hour crying about her ex to a new guy shes seeing. When they should be all over each other. Red flag.
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SpiralDrift
07/11/18 10:07:24 PM
#36:


EnragedSlith posted...
Nobody is worth being kept at a distance.

I agree with this and would break also it off if that was the case.
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Esrac
07/11/18 10:07:54 PM
#37:


Bail.

If that ex comes snooping around, she will probably crawl back to him.
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bulletproofvita
07/11/18 10:10:20 PM
#38:


Esrac posted...
Bail.

If that ex comes snooping around, she will probably crawl back to him.

Definitely
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Jiggy101011
07/11/18 11:12:09 PM
#39:


LookANinja posted...
Sounds like she needs time to be single.


This. I have a friend is doing the same thing as your current gf. She went from a 6 year relationship to trying to find a boyfriend a month later. She cant figure out why guys are ditching her and I assume its because she wont stop talking about her ex, cause thats all she talks to me about.
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Zodd3224
07/11/18 11:15:12 PM
#40:


Abyssea posted...
I'm good, thank you for asking. This picture I found on tumblr is making me feel things but i dont know why.

u4BPKuv


Oh bby
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Cornmuffins
07/11/18 11:17:55 PM
#41:


EnragedSlith posted...
TheGoldenEel posted...
How do you always find these girls dude

I work with her. Always felt a pretty strong compatibility and that we would wind up fucking, but I avoided it for a variety of reasons including this. But then SHE made the move, and I ran with it.


That's because you're a rebound. Abort now.
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Cornmuffins
07/11/18 11:22:12 PM
#42:


thronedfire2 posted...
wait you guys think a girl crying over an ex she was with for 5 years is a big enough red flag to immediately end things?

no wonder CE is forever single


As someone who's dated someone just having broken up over a long relationship? I will never do it again. I mean if you're lonely I guess, but you're just better off finding a better partner.
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Esrac
07/11/18 11:26:51 PM
#43:


thronedfire2 posted...
wait you guys think a girl crying over an ex she was with for 5 years is a big enough red flag to immediately end things?

no wonder CE is forever single


Crying over the end of a long relationship isn't a bad thing. However, crying about your ex to the new guy you're seeing is a massive red flag.
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smoke_break
07/11/18 11:29:43 PM
#44:


You're going to think you're making progress then all of a sudden you see her relationship status on Facebook change from "Single" to "In A Relationship" and it's with guess who? I laugh about it now but it wasn't funny back then. Abort mission!!
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xyz_shokan
07/11/18 11:32:32 PM
#45:


EnragedSlith posted...
TheGoldenEel posted...
How do you always find these girls dude

I work with her. Always felt a pretty strong compatibility and that we would wind up fucking, but I avoided it for a variety of reasons including this. But then SHE made the move, and I ran with it.

How does that happen

Last time i hit on a girl at another job i got labeled the office creep

Btw i love your sig

Whenever you check out a hot milf, remember that kakyoin checks her out with you from beyond

You're never alone when you go milf hunting
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GrAyFoX312k
07/12/18 12:27:02 AM
#46:


You're situation reminded me of this web comic

https://zenpencils.com/comic/103-c-s-lewis-to-love-at-all/

If you like her, put in the time to gain her trust. If not, someone else will eventually do it.
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AlephZero
07/12/18 12:30:09 AM
#47:


the average man is unfuckable

the average woman gets blasted by limitless chad dick
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Rad_Chad
07/12/18 12:41:26 AM
#48:


AlephZero posted...
the average man is unfuckable

the average woman gets blasted by limitless chad dick

confirm, bud. hundo %

its like being genghis khan but without killing anything except it. on the reg. with the bois
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EnragedSlith
07/12/18 12:51:26 AM
#49:


GrAyFoX312k posted...
You're situation reminded me of this web comic

https://zenpencils.com/comic/103-c-s-lewis-to-love-at-all/

If you like her, put in the time to gain her trust. If not, someone else will eventually do it.

This isnt a vulnerability/committment issue, though thats part of it, its a not over her ex issue
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teepan95
07/12/18 12:53:06 AM
#50:


I hope things end up working out, TC
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