Current Events > Feminist is offended that men are sharing stories of abuse experiences #metoo

(+) Yeah! (+)

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The context would provide clues on what she's responding to.

Because it's true that there's usually someone who goes "yeah that sucks what happened to you but what about me?" in these conversations, and it doesn't need to be there.
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just another example of how inclusion doesn't include men, especially white men

pinky0926 posted...

Because it's true that there's usually someone who goes "yeah that sucks what happened to you but what about me?" in these conversations, and it doesn't need to be there.

It's literally a hashtag trend where anyone can say anything out into the ether and then append the hashtag to their post.

social media is so dumb
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it sounds like you didn't read most of her post
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pinky0926 posted...

The context would provide clues on what she's responding to.

Because it's true that there's usually someone who goes "yeah that sucks what happened to you but what about me?" in these conversations, and it doesn't need to be there.

i mean, honestly, the whole "now is not the time for your concerns" is pretty much exactly what was told to women in the past to silence them

whether a man airing his own experience of assault/harassment is valid really depends on the context. if it's a man seeing that people are coming forward and joining them, you really shouldn't be trying to silence him. if it's a man saying "Hey, *I* was hurt TOO!" on a woman's attempt to step forward, that's different

this seems like a reaction to the former, as if women as a gender own the hashtag trend and any men trying to join arms as fellow survivors are interlopers trying to talk over them

it screams of misplaced anger that alienates a host of potential allies

i mean really if in a month men tried to do their own version of this do you really think anyone would be paying attention? part of the motivation of joining the women's movement is people are more likely to notice and care.
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It would seem though the issue she has isn't that men are sharing their own abuse stories, but that men are potentially hijacking a women's issue.

Again instead of getting buttmad over a social media post I'd just like to see the context of the conversation because she might have been responding to something specific.
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Men should be seen and not heard :u
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Why is she mad over a chain letter
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pinky0926 posted...

It would seem though the issue she has isn't that men are sharing their own abuse stories, but that men are potentially hijacking a women's issue.

Again instead of getting buttmad over a social media post I'd just like to see the context of the conversation because she might have been responding to something specific.

it's weird how you aren't sure what the case really is, but still err on the side of pretending it's whatever narrative your rad fem pedigree demands

she has no problem though with other women who weren't assaulted retweeting #metoo to bring awareness no doubt
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Darkman124 posted...

pinky0926 posted...

The context would provide clues on what she's responding to.

Because it's true that there's usually someone who goes "yeah that sucks what happened to you but what about me?" in these conversations, and it doesn't need to be there.

i mean, honestly, the whole "now is not the time for your concerns" is pretty much exactly what was told to women in the past to silence them

whether a man airing his own experience of assault/harassment is valid really depends on the context. if it's a man seeing that people are coming forward and joining them, you really shouldn't be trying to silence him. if it's a man saying "Hey, *I* was hurt TOO!" on a woman's attempt to step forward, that's different

this seems like a reaction to the former, as if women as a gender own the hashtag trend and any men trying to join arms as fellow survivors are interlopers trying to talk over them

it screams of misplaced anger that alienates a host of potential allies

i mean really if in a month men tried to do their own version of this do you really think anyone would be paying attention? part of the motivation of joining the women's movement is people are more likely to notice and care.

Yep, that's fair. That's why I was curious to see what the entire conversation was about.
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pls posted...

pinky0926 posted...

It would seem though the issue she has isn't that men are sharing their own abuse stories, but that men are potentially hijacking a women's issue.

Again instead of getting buttmad over a social media post I'd just like to see the context of the conversation because she might have been responding to something specific.

it's weird how you aren't sure what the case really is, but still err on the side of pretending it's whatever narrative your rad fem pedigree demands

I know you're still mad about the other topic but there's no need to go dragging it into every other topic too dude. Surely you can appreciate the concept of "I've seen this happen before so I'd be interested to know more details in this case before I make an opinion".
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pinky0926 posted...

Again I'd just like to see the context of the conversation because she might have been responding to something specific.

my feed has a number of women posting about it as pre-emptive "men, please don't participate in this even if you are victims" so i tend to assume this particular post relates to that also

i don't think it's rational to declare some victims illegitimate. to stop someone trying to speak over another victim is fine. if a victim comes forward who you don't think should be 'part' of the movement, the best thing you can do is shut up yourself and let them speak to those who would support them. silencing victims is pretty much a universal bad thing to do.
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pinky0926 posted...

pls posted...

pinky0926 posted...

It would seem though the issue she has isn't that men are sharing their own abuse stories, but that men are potentially hijacking a women's issue.

Again instead of getting buttmad over a social media post I'd just like to see the context of the conversation because she might have been responding to something specific.

it's weird how you aren't sure what the case really is, but still err on the side of pretending it's whatever narrative your rad fem pedigree demands

I know you're still mad about the other topic but there's no need to go dragging it into every other topic too dude. Surely you can appreciate the concept of "I've seen this happen before so I'd be interested to know more details in this case before I make an opinion".

I'm not mad about any topic. I just think it's funny how you're saying "I really need more details in this case before I can make an opinion" all while sneaking in "men are stealing our hashtag trend!!!!!!"

Darkman124 posted...

pinky0926 posted...

Again I'd just like to see the context of the conversation because she might have been responding to something specific.

my feed has a number of women posting about it as pre-emptive "men, please don't participate in this even if you are victims" so i tend to assume this particular post relates to that also

i don't think it's rational to declare some victims illegitimate. to stop someone trying to speak over another victim is fine. if a victim comes forward who you don't think should be 'part' of the movement, the best thing you can do is shut up yourself and let them speak to those who would support them. silencing victims is pretty much a universal bad thing to do.

Agreed on that.

pls posted...

pinky0926 posted...

pls posted...

pinky0926 posted...

It would seem though the issue she has isn't that men are sharing their own abuse stories, but that men are potentially hijacking a women's issue.

Again instead of getting buttmad over a social media post I'd just like to see the context of the conversation because she might have been responding to something specific.

it's weird how you aren't sure what the case really is, but still err on the side of pretending it's whatever narrative your rad fem pedigree demands

I know you're still mad about the other topic but there's no need to go dragging it into every other topic too dude. Surely you can appreciate the concept of "I've seen this happen before so I'd be interested to know more details in this case before I make an opinion".

I'm not mad about any topic. I just think it's funny how you're saying "I really need more details in this case before I can make an opinion" all while sneaking in "men are stealing our hashtag trend!!!!!!"

You must be very mad if you're not even reading the words I'm writing here.
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darkphoenix181 posted...

she has no problem though with other women who weren't assaulted retweeting #metoo to bring awareness no doubt

#metoo is about sexual harassment as well as assault

every woman has been sexually harassed at some point
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Which is funny because of this tweet:

https://twitter.com/jen_fritz/status/920471449999048704

Someone complaining that men were by and large silent on this issue. It's largely these two types of people that create the vacuum of silence that men exhibit during these social movements.

https://twitter.com/jen_fritz/status/920664551292420096
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pinky0926 posted...

The context would provide clues on what she's responding to.

Because it's true that there's usually someone who goes "yeah that sucks what happened to you but what about me?" in these conversations, and it doesn't need to be there.

Sorry, but I see it as the opposite. Denying certain voices that have suffered the same problem shows hashtags and movements like these are not about the problem, but in making it all about themselves and how much they've suffered. This can be for attention or to control the conversation so that only certain solutions are up for consideration, but either way it's about saying "I know you've suffered too and I want to be empathetic, but it's all about me now so fuck off."
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Darkman124 posted...

every woman has been sexually harassed at some point

huh???

Alucard188 posted...

Someone complaining that men were by and large silent on this issue. It's largely these two types of people that create the vacuum of silence that men exhibit during these social movements.

there *is* a response they are all looking for from men:

mea culpa or otherwise broad admission of wrongdoing and seeking forgiveness

i've seen a couple posts advocating that men start doing that (from women, because you know that's a great idea--push a movement from outside rather than let it form as a grassroots movement itself).

that is not really realistic given the anger built in to the initial posting, even from well-meaning men.

One other reaction that I think is being seen as appropriate, which I've considered posting myself, is "I believe you."

pls posted...

Darkman124 posted...

every woman has been sexually harassed at some point

huh???

did i stutter?
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is that u proudclad
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TC is mocking the hashtag in one topic and now whining about it not being inclusive in another.

You seem to think it's a joke so why do you even care?
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pls posted...

Darkman124 posted...

every woman has been sexually harassed at some point

huh???

Hes probably not wrong
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pls posted...

Darkman124 posted...

every woman has been sexually harassed at some point

huh???

It's almost certainly true.

It's almost certainly true that all men have been as well.

A lot of things that people view as acceptable could easily be construed as sexual harrassment.
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DreadedWave posted...

TC is mocking the hashtag in one topic and now whining about it not being inclusive in another.

You seem to think it's a joke so why do you even care?

Wtf are you babbling about?
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Darkman124 posted...

my feed has a number of women posting about it as pre-emptive "men, please don't participate in this even if you are victims" so i tend to assume this particular post relates to that also

I have only seen that from one person, luckily, and it was actually a man (though one that identifies as gender fluid iirc)
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some of the women on my feed have explicitly changed the copy pasta to say women & men even
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Mistaken identity, nevermind TC.
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Darkman124 posted...

pinky0926 posted...

Again I'd just like to see the context of the conversation because she might have been responding to something specific.

my feed has a number of women posting about it as pre-emptive "men, please don't participate in this even if you are victims" so i tend to assume this particular post relates to that also

i don't think it's rational to declare some victims illegitimate. to stop someone trying to speak over another victim is fine. if a victim comes forward who you don't think should be 'part' of the movement, the best thing you can do is shut up yourself and let them speak to those who would support them. silencing victims is pretty much a universal bad thing to do.

It seems to be a part of the whole "minority and ally" mentality we have set up in certain activist circles. In this case, it's women who want men to be their allies, but not to participate on the platform. By "ally", they mean "support us, but keep your mouth shut".

To some of them, any time a man speaks up to say "I was abused too", he's stealing the spotlight from a more deserving woman. Because he's not a part of the abused class, his abuse is less deserving of attention. He should just not hid head quietly in the back row.

That's the impression I get anyway.
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Esrac posted...

It seems to be a part of the whole "minority and ally" mentality we have set up in certain activist circles. In this case, it's women who want men to be their allies, but not to participate on the platform. By "ally", they mean "support us, but keep your mouth shut".

To some of them, any time a man speaks up to say "I was abused too", he's stealing the spotlight from a more deserving woman. Because he's not a part of the abused class, his abuse is less deserving of attention. He should just not hid head quietly in the back row.

That's the impression I get anyway.

i think you may be reading a little too far into it, but what I definitely agree with is that there is a fundamental fear that male voices will drown female voices in activist circles the same way they do outside of them, and they don't want us to determine what changes need to be made, just to carry out the changes they're seeking.

I try to look at it from the perspective of civil rights. White voices were not the key to the formation of what civil rights asked for, only for carrying out the desired changes.

But, ultimately, they still retained the power to reject claims and not act on things they considered unnecessary. The same is true with gender issues.

None of that really gives a reason to silence male victims in favor of female ones though.
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