Poll of the Day > young chinese 'too fat and masturbate too much to pass army fitness tests', ok?

(+) Yeah! (+)

https://www.standard.co.uk/news/world/young-chinese-are-too-fat-and-masturbate-too-much-to-pass-army-fitness-tests-a3617881.html

i never knew i had so much in common with the youth of china, ok?
---

fair, next
---

Why would a fat guy even consider joining the army?
I guess his dominant arm could be really useful for pulling triggers more effectively and throw grenades really far at least though.
---

Nobody uses the Army for anything anymore though, it is all done through drones. That is when I laugh at people who say "North Korea will win due to the number of troops they have". There won't even be a ground war, there hasn't been a ground war since Vietnam. It is all drone strikes now.
---

A poor diet and frequent masturbation, leading to abnormally large testicular veins, are believed to be behind falling fitness levels, according to a report published in state-run military newspaper the People’s Liberation Army Daily.

Wait why are large testicular veins a problem and why have I never heard that masturbation does that.
---

LeetCheet posted...

Why would a fat guy even consider joining the army?
I guess his dominant arm could be really useful for pulling triggers more effectively and throw grenades really far at least though.

have you had sex yet, leet?

when are you guys getting married.

fyi, we might name our baby tess, not even lying, ok?
---

It's obvious why being fat gets you rejected, but why excessive masturbation? How does that affect your health and ability to join the army?
---

LeetCheet posted...

I guess his dominant arm could be really useful for pulling triggers

You don't use your whole arm to fire a gun.
---

Dikitain posted...

Nobody uses the Army for anything anymore though, it is all done through drones. That is when I laugh at people who say "North Korea will win due to the number of troops they have". There won't even be a ground war, there hasn't been a ground war since Vietnam. It is all drone strikes now.

All of the infantry units that have seen combat since Vietnam might have some very strong arguments to the contrary.
---

ZiggiStardust posted...

LeetCheet posted...

Why would a fat guy even consider joining the army?
I guess his dominant arm could be really useful for pulling triggers more effectively and throw grenades really far at least though.

have you had sex yet, leet?

when are you guys getting married.

fyi, we might name our baby tess, not even lying, ok?

Probably not. His girlfriend has HPV or at least that's what she tells him.
---

Considering China has a history of treating its foot soldiers as cannon fodder ("We have reserves"), it sounds to me like masturbating is doing those young lads a favor.

Also, the article's sending mixed messages.

The report claimed 8 per cent of male candidates suffered from enlarged testicular veins. “This is related to sitting too long on computer games, excessive masturbation and too little physical activity,” it said.

In one breath, they're saying too much masturbation, but in the next they're saying the recruits aren't getting enough physical activity. Which is it, China? Do they need to ramp up the masturbation or scale it back?

Blightzkrieg posted...

A poor diet and frequent masturbation, leading to abnormally large testicular veins, are believed to be behind falling fitness levels, according to a report published in state-run military newspaper the People’s Liberation Army Daily.

Wait why are large testicular veins a problem and why have I never heard that masturbation does that.

Also this.

ZiggiStardust posted...

have you had sex yet, leet?

when are you guys getting married.

fyi, we might name our baby tess, not even lying, ok?

Nope.
Probably never because marriage isn't as common in Sweden as in America.

You've already told me that but hey, that's a really good name ; )

SunWuKung420 posted...

You don't use your whole arm to fire a gun.

Yeah I know lol
When I was making that post I was going back and forth with arm and hand but ultimately decided to have arm and then add the grenade throwing bit as well.
I assumed everyone would still understand what I meant though.
---

TIL I've got large testicular veins.