Current Events > 100 adult male humans vs. a hippopotamus

(+) Yeah! (+)

The humans can't use any weapons.

Who wins?

Seems pretty one-sided to me.
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Do the humans have rabies?
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it's hard for a bunch of lions to take down a hippo, due to how strong and durable they are



idk, though
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Hippos are one of the most terrifying creatures. Only way to winis the first 80 willingly feed themselves to the hippo and then the rest attack while its full.
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idk, Humans might be able to win via attrition but I imagine it'd end in a stalemate
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if 100 people all dogpiled the hippo at once they could probably crush it with just weight. I mean you're talking about 100 people. hippos already have issues walking around on land for being so heavy which is why they spend a lot of time in water.
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ChromaticAngel posted...

if 100 people all dogpiled the hippo at once they could probably crush it with just weight. I mean you're talking about 100 people. hippos already have issues walking around on land for being so heavy which is why they spend a lot of time in water.

Good luck with that. Hippos are not slow animals. They could easily stop a dog pile.
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HogRiderreturns posted...

ChromaticAngel posted...

if 100 people all dogpiled the hippo at once they could probably crush it with just weight. I mean you're talking about 100 people. hippos already have issues walking around on land for being so heavy which is why they spend a lot of time in water.

Good luck with that. Hippos are not slow animals. They could easily stop a dog pile.

100 people at once? I doubt it. 100 people is a lot. hippo is more likely to run away then at the crowd.
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boxington posted...

it's hard for a bunch of lions to take down a hippo, due to how strong and durable they are



idk, though

Lions will only think of one or two ways to go about it though.

Only if we kill enough people and stab the hippo with broken bones from arms and legs. Otherwise we get fucked. Its possible that hippo will just run when it sees a horde running towards it.
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boxington posted...

it's hard for a bunch of lions to take down a hippo, due to how strong and durable they are



idk, though

Pretty hilarious how that one lion literally walked on top of it, and the hippo didn't succumb.

Boo_Guy posted...

boxington posted...

it's hard for a bunch of lions to take down a hippo, due to how strong and durable they are



idk, though

Pretty hilarious how that one lion literally walked on top of it, and the hippo didn't succumb.

1. Lions are not actually that heavy
2. Those are female lions which are even lighter than male lions

100 humans combined weight would weigh much much much more than that tiny pack of lions.
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Boo_Guy posted...

boxington posted...

it's hard for a bunch of lions to take down a hippo, due to how strong and durable they are



idk, though

Pretty hilarious how that one lion literally walked on top of it, and the hippo didn't succumb.

Or the fact that it pushed the lion off who was just "nomnomnomnom" with also no success.
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ChromaticAngel posted...

Boo_Guy posted...

boxington posted...

it's hard for a bunch of lions to take down a hippo, due to how strong and durable they are



idk, though

Pretty hilarious how that one lion literally walked on top of it, and the hippo didn't succumb.

1. Lions are not actually that heavy
2. Those are female lions which are even lighter than male lions

100 humans combined weight would weigh much much much more than that tiny pack of lions.

Average female lion is still like 280lbs
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IfGodCouldDie posted...

Average female lion is still like 280lbs

sure, and unless we're talking about anorexic dudes or something, three of them added together weigh significantly more than 280 pounds.

There are like 3 lions in that picture, and I see one male one in the background not doing anything? So lets count the male lion for 10 humans (total bullshit). 100 humans are roughly 5 times as strong as that pack of lions.
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ChromaticAngel posted...

IfGodCouldDie posted...

Average female lion is still like 280lbs

sure, and unless we're talking about anorexic dudes or something, three of them added together weigh significantly more than 280 pounds.

There are like 3 lions in that picture, and I see one male one in the background not doing anything? So lets count the male lion for 10 humans (total bullshit). 100 humans are roughly 5 times as strong as that pack of lions.

How do you get 100 humans are roughly 5 times as strong as 5 lions exactly? You do realize that weight does not directly translate to strength, right?
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IfGodCouldDie posted...

ChromaticAngel posted...

IfGodCouldDie posted...

Average female lion is still like 280lbs

sure, and unless we're talking about anorexic dudes or something, three of them added together weigh significantly more than 280 pounds.

There are like 3 lions in that picture, and I see one male one in the background not doing anything? So lets count the male lion for 10 humans (total bullshit). 100 humans are roughly 5 times as strong as that pack of lions.

How do you get 100 humans are roughly 5 times as strong as 5 lions exactly? You do realize that weight does not directly translate to strength, right?

1. I gave an overestimate to the male lion in the back that isn't doing anything
2. Here we see the hippopotamus shrugging off what looks like 3 280 pound lions. That's 10 humans worth of weight. It's not going fast so the lions are clearly holding it back and will likely take it down eventually.
3. By "strength" here, I mean specifically weight, as in, 100 humans run up and sit on the fucking hippo so that it literally can't move. Nothing about clawing through the hide or anything. 100 humans is enough to crush a hippo in just weight. If every human weighed 150 pounds, it would be heavier than dropping a fucking elephant on the hippo.
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Humans could gouge its eyes out and then wait until it bleeds to death
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ChromaticAngel posted...

2. Here we see the hippopotamus shrugging off what looks like 3 280 pound lions. That's 10 humans worth of weight

3×280=840
840/10=84
ehh
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ThyCorndog posted...

ChromaticAngel posted...

2. Here we see the hippopotamus shrugging off what looks like 3 280 pound lions. That's 10 humans worth of weight

3×280=840
840/10=84
ehh

I meant the 10 humans according to my generous overestimate approximation. Not actually 10 humans.

See post 16
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ChromaticAngel posted...

IfGodCouldDie posted...

ChromaticAngel posted...

IfGodCouldDie posted...

Average female lion is still like 280lbs

sure, and unless we're talking about anorexic dudes or something, three of them added together weigh significantly more than 280 pounds.

There are like 3 lions in that picture, and I see one male one in the background not doing anything? So lets count the male lion for 10 humans (total bullshit). 100 humans are roughly 5 times as strong as that pack of lions.

How do you get 100 humans are roughly 5 times as strong as 5 lions exactly? You do realize that weight does not directly translate to strength, right?

1. I gave an overestimate to the male lion in the back that isn't doing anything
2. Here we see the hippopotamus shrugging off what looks like 3 280 pound lions. That's 10 humans worth of weight. It's not going fast so the lions are clearly holding it back and will likely take it down eventually.
3. By "strength" here, I mean specifically weight, as in, 100 humans run up and sit on the fucking hippo so that it literally can't move. Nothing about clawing through the hide or anything. 100 humans is enough to crush a hippo in just weight. If every human weighed 150 pounds, it would be heavier than dropping a fucking elephant on the hippo.

Would 100 humans even be able to coordinate a swarming attack without the hippo fucking up most of the humans before they can even pile him into the ground?

A pack of what looks like four lions, at minimum, struggled to take down the hippo. Lions are ferocious hunters and skilled at taking down prey, far more so than an unequipped human.

Boo_Guy posted...

Would 100 humans even be able to coordinate a swarming attack without the hippo fucking up most of the humans before they can even pile him into the ground?

have you seen videos of wal-mart opening on black friday?
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ChromaticAngel posted...

Boo_Guy posted...

Would 100 humans even be able to coordinate a swarming attack without the hippo fucking up most of the humans before they can even pile him into the ground?

have you seen videos of wal-mart opening on black friday?

Yeah, they're toppling other humans who are similar in weight, size, stamina, and physical abilities.

I'm not saying you're wrong. But what if the hippo is able to crush, maim, and shrug off enough humans before reaching the point of getting overwhelmed.

Boo_Guy posted...

ChromaticAngel posted...

Boo_Guy posted...

Would 100 humans even be able to coordinate a swarming attack without the hippo fucking up most of the humans before they can even pile him into the ground?

have you seen videos of wal-mart opening on black friday?

Yeah, they're toppling other humans who are similar in weight, size, stamina, and physical abilities.

I'm not saying you're wrong. But what if the hippo is able to crush, maim, and shrug off enough humans before reaching the point of getting overwhelmed.

Yeah, I'm definitely not suggesting 100 humans will all survive. as a matter of fact, I feel confident in saying some of them must die by necessity to kill the hippo, but I still think they would win. If they mob rush at full speed the hippo could probably kill like 5 or 6 at most before being completely overwhelmed. Even after it was overwhelmed, I anticipate more humans would die in the process of crushing the hippo to death.
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I'm going to say the hippo wins. It could easily slaughter several humans at once. It could probably kill 3-4 in one bite, crush/cripple several with good head swipe, and crush any that get near its feet. So even a coordinated approach would likely result in like 10 casualties.

If we run on the assumption that crushing it would be the best action, you'd still need to have all those people safely get on it, which isn't as easy as it sounds. It'd likely be panicky and freaking out. That'd put the people trying to climb on get knocked down, injured, if crushed. Plus, it doesn't look like it'd be easy to climb on one even if it was docile, they're just round. Even if you successfully managed to get people on it, they'd have to manage to stay on it long enough to crush it, and even in this s nearing, you'd be crushing the other humans in the pile anyway and they'd be falling off as they die making the whole pile unstable.

Sure, a dogpile sounds kinda reasonable at first, but I don't think it could ever realistically work. Best case scenario you lose like 40 people in the attempt and have to regroup after enraging the hippo and likely being injured.
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boxington posted...

it's hard for a bunch of lions to take down a hippo, due to how strong and durable they are



idk, though

When life keeps tryna fuck you up but you get through it like a champ
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if the humans arent scared of dying then sure
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KogaSteelfang posted...

I'm going to say the hippo wins. It could easily slaughter several humans at once. It could probably kill 3-4 in one bite, crush/cripple several with good head swipe, and crush any that get near its feet. So even a coordinated approach would likely result in like 10 casualties.

If we run on the assumption that crushing it would be the best action, you'd still need to have all those people safely get on it, which isn't as easy as it sounds. It'd likely be panicky and freaking out. That'd put the people trying to climb on get knocked down, injured, if crushed. Plus, it doesn't look like it'd be easy to climb on one even if it was docile, they're just round. Even if you successfully managed to get people on it, they'd have to manage to stay on it long enough to crush it, and even in this s nearing, you'd be crushing the other humans in the pile anyway and they'd be falling off as they die making the whole pile unstable.

Sure, a dogpile sounds kinda reasonable at first, but I don't think it could ever realistically work. Best case scenario you lose like 40 people in the attempt and have to regroup after enraging the hippo and likely being injured.

You also have to take into consideration those lions are going to be roughly 5-6 feet tall standing on their hind legs in that gif, even with claws the first one isn't easily able to climb on top of it and it's the second lion that gets up using the first as a stepping off point. I don't see how any people are climbing on top of a hippo.
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Come on man our ancestors hunted mammoths, we can figure out how to do this shit with a hundred people.

Corral it off a cliff.
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Humans will win after tiring the hippo out to the point where it is lying on the ground in exhaustion, then they will beat it to death
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hippo. humans have no teeth that can pierce the hippo's hide, while the hippo can break them in half and stomp them.
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If a bunch of people can physically flip a truck, I don't imagine a hippo is going to be much harder. Man wins again, nature!
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boxington posted...

it's hard for a bunch of lions to take down a hippo, due to how strong and durable they are



idk, though

"My commute to work is a fucking nightmare"
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Hm, maybe the humans could flip it onto its back? Not sure that'd work either, but I assume once it's flipped it'd be much less dangerous and the weight of its gut would likely smother it eventually, no?

Still gonna say the hippo would win, but maybe it's not as one sided as I initially thought.
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FaultyGourry posted...

If a bunch of people can physically flip a truck, I don't imagine a hippo is going to be much harder. Man wins again, nature!

I'd like to see those people try and flip the truck as it is actively trying to run them over
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IfGodCouldDie posted...

FaultyGourry posted...

If a bunch of people can physically flip a truck, I don't imagine a hippo is going to be much harder. Man wins again, nature!

I'd like to see those people try and flip the truck as it is actively trying to run them over

Take out the keys. Humans win again!
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KogaSteelfang posted...

Hm, maybe the humans could flip it onto its back? Not sure that'd work either, but I assume once it's flipped it'd be much less dangerous and the weight of its gut would likely smother it eventually, no?

Still gonna say the hippo would win, but maybe it's not as one sided as I initially thought.

hmm...yeah. maybe squish the feller's organs. It kind of depends if the humans can take a break from politics and fighting over trump for a minute to cooperate.
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IfGodCouldDie posted...

FaultyGourry posted...

If a bunch of people can physically flip a truck, I don't imagine a hippo is going to be much harder. Man wins again, nature!

I'd like to see those people try and flip the truck as it is actively trying to run them over

They will evade it until it is exhausted. This is how humans used to hunt a lot of animals I think, by chasing and evading them to the point of exhaustion which then made them really easy to spear to death.
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How the fuck are people saying to just dogpile it planning on actually piling 100 people on top of a hippo? It would be physically impossible
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Humans.
Will probably outsmart the Hippo at some point.

Can Hippos breathe through their mouths? Maybe you can clog up its nostrils via clothings or something lol. (Please don't tell me its 100 buck naked men vs a Hippo)
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Continuously jump into the hippos mouth and block its airway. Humans win.
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Funkydog posted...

IfGodCouldDie posted...

FaultyGourry posted...

If a bunch of people can physically flip a truck, I don't imagine a hippo is going to be much harder. Man wins again, nature!

I'd like to see those people try and flip the truck as it is actively trying to run them over

Take out the keys. Humans win again!

Ok but you'd have to be able to open the door and take the driver out while he is still trying to run you over to do that.
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Hippopotamus Rex
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I think if 100 humans charged it at full speed, they could knock it over.

If that alone didn't kill it, they could wait until it was out of energy and beat it to death.
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Sativa_Rose posted...

IfGodCouldDie posted...

FaultyGourry posted...

If a bunch of people can physically flip a truck, I don't imagine a hippo is going to be much harder. Man wins again, nature!

I'd like to see those people try and flip the truck as it is actively trying to run them over

They will evade it until it is exhausted. This is how humans used to hunt a lot of animals I think, by chasing and evading them to the point of exhaustion which then made them really easy to spear to death.

you are not evading a hippo it's fucking faster than most people are on bicycles. your only option is to charge it or run away and hope it loses interest.
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if it is within a short distance of water, hippo wins. if it starts a decent distance from water, maybe 1 or 2 miles (I don't know the endurance of a hippo), I think the humans win. if it is really far from water, humans overwhelming win. Chase, tire out, stomp to death or suffocate.
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ChromaticAngel posted...

Sativa_Rose posted...

IfGodCouldDie posted...

FaultyGourry posted...

If a bunch of people can physically flip a truck, I don't imagine a hippo is going to be much harder. Man wins again, nature!

I'd like to see those people try and flip the truck as it is actively trying to run them over

They will evade it until it is exhausted. This is how humans used to hunt a lot of animals I think, by chasing and evading them to the point of exhaustion which then made them really easy to spear to death.

you are not evading a hippo it's fucking faster than most people are on bicycles. your only option is to charge it or run away and hope it loses interest.

I think you could keep scaring it off with a group of 100 people, basically the people would chase it off until exhaustion
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weapon_d00d816 posted...

Come on man our ancestors hunted mammoths, we can figure out how to do this shit with a hundred people.

Our ancestors were armed...
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The Deadpool posted...

weapon_d00d816 posted...

Come on man our ancestors hunted mammoths, we can figure out how to do this shit with a hundred people.

Our ancestors were armed...

with pointy rocks and pointy rocks loosely crammed into sticks. sure.
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