Current Events > 100 adult male humans vs. a hippopotamus

(+) Yeah! (+)

http://scribol.com/environment/animals-environment/hippos-the-most-dangerous-animals-on-earth/

Fucking 2 inches thick skin and have a tendency to charge at 30 mph to water when threatened...

It will barrel through 100 humans and make it water long before any strategy kicks in.

Add spears to the mix and the hippo is fucked. But unarmed?
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Humans can communicate with each other and are smarter. Get somebody to gouge its eyes and then it would be much easier.
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The Deadpool posted...

http://scribol.com/environment/animals-environment/hippos-the-most-dangerous-animals-on-earth/

Fucking 2 inches thick skin and have a tendency to charge at 30 mph to water when threatened...

It will barrel through 100 humans and make it water long before any strategy kicks in.

Add spears to the mix and the hippo is fucked. But unarmed?

You are sorely overestimating how easy it is to just push through 100 people like that.

There are literally trucks going like 50 MPH that get fucked up because they ran headfirst into a deer.
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I can't believe people actually think 100 humans couldn't take it a hippo. Lol

If all those humans weight on average is just 150 lbs that's 15,000 lbs. They could easily just crush it from weight alone, not even considering any kind of strategy at all.

Of course several of them would die for sure, but as long as everyone actually worked together without bitching out, the hippo would definitely lose eventually.
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A well trained group of 100 humans could take the hippo probably and win with actual teamwork. Just 100 random adults is going to get stomped, chomped, and barreled through easily. Odds are more than half the humans would honestly be too afraid to even get close.
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The Deadpool posted...

weapon_d00d816 posted...

Come on man our ancestors hunted mammoths, we can figure out how to do this shit with a hundred people.

Our ancestors were armed...

The part of my post you cut off was pretty important

weapon_d00d816 posted...

Corral it off a cliff.

That's what we did to large game, and with fewer people.
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You know what these questions never consider? Space. At most maybe 10 people can get a hand on the hippo at once.

weapon_d00d816 posted...

The Deadpool posted...

weapon_d00d816 posted...

Come on man our ancestors hunted mammoths, we can figure out how to do this shit with a hundred people.

Our ancestors were armed...

The part of my post you cut off was pretty important
weapon_d00d816 posted...

Corral it off a cliff.

I'm pretty sure our ancient ancestors used weapons to do that, still.

lukabrosci posted...

You know what these questions never consider? Space. At most maybe 10 people can get a hand on the hippo at once.

yeah I'm trying to think out the logistics of 100 people piling on a hippo
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Balrog0 posted...

weapon_d00d816 posted...

The Deadpool posted...

weapon_d00d816 posted...

Come on man our ancestors hunted mammoths, we can figure out how to do this shit with a hundred people.

Our ancestors were armed...

The part of my post you cut off was pretty important
weapon_d00d816 posted...

Corral it off a cliff.

I'm pretty sure our ancient ancestors used weapons to do that, still.

I mean I guess having a big stick might further increase intimidation but you don't need sticks when you have a hundred yelling humans charging at you.
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weapon_d00d816 posted...

I mean I guess having a big stick might further increase intimidation but you don't need sticks when you have a hundred yelling humans charging at you.

I think it's more about throwing rocks from a distance than whacking them with sticks but I'm really not sure
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Balrog0 posted...

yeah I'm trying to think out the logistics of 100 people piling on a hippo

You put 10 people on a hippo

Then you put 10 people on top of the 10 people.

Then you put 10 people on top of that.

etc.

repeat until hippo is dead.

people will also die, but who cares, hippo is dead, humans win.
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Those lions were just kitty cats and they were just playing.
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Insert much C4 into one human.
Let hippo eat said human
detonate C4

WhinyZach posted...

ChromaticAngel posted...

Balrog0 posted...

yeah I'm trying to think out the logistics of 100 people piling on a hippo

You put 10 people on a hippo

Then you put 10 people on top of the 10 people.

Then you put 10 people on top of that.

etc.

repeat until hippo is dead.

people will also die, but who cares, hippo is dead, humans win.

wy would you think a hippo is just going to stay still and let its self be doggy piled on? They're faster than humans. As soon as ten get on top, it'll easily just run away and the humans wont even be able to catch it.

it will be crushed by the weight. it won't be able to move once 10 people are on top of it plus it's surrounded by other people jumping on top of it. it's a hippopotamus, not the juggernaut.
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WhinyZach posted...

didn't you see that .gif? one lion could barely get on a hippo and they're 300lbs. It just kept chugging along. I doubt it's gonna let 10 humans get on it.

10 humans assuming 150 pound average would be 1500 pounds.

that's quite a bit heavier than 1 lion, or even 3 lions.

additionally, it's not "chugging along" it's clearly fucking struggling to escape
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ChromaticAngel posted...

The Deadpool posted...

weapon_d00d816 posted...

Come on man our ancestors hunted mammoths, we can figure out how to do this shit with a hundred people.

Our ancestors were armed...

with pointy rocks and pointy rocks loosely crammed into sticks. sure.

Humans likely didn't hunt the big game mammals until they had more advance weapons than a club, and if they did, they had to strategize. Humans are able to strategize and recognize patterns to a degree no other animal is capable of.

How are you getting ten people simultaneously onto the back of an animal that stands like six feet tall, can run far faster than a person over short distances, is aggressively territorial and thus not likely to just stand still while you climb onto it, and strong enough that if it swings its head around or runs into you, you're out of the fight? How are you holding on when it doesn't exactly have handles up there? Like I can see the scenario of how the humans win but it's actually getting there that's hard to picture. This is a big, very powerful animal we're talking about, you have to get a bunch of people on top of it all at once *and* have them hold on long enough to drag it down for this to work.
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Boo_Guy posted...

ChromaticAngel posted...

The Deadpool posted...

weapon_d00d816 posted...

Come on man our ancestors hunted mammoths, we can figure out how to do this shit with a hundred people.

Our ancestors were armed...

with pointy rocks and pointy rocks loosely crammed into sticks. sure.

Humans likely didn't hunt the big game mammals until they had more advance weapons than a club, and if they did, they had to strategize. Humans are able to strategize and recognize patterns to a degree no other animal is capable of.

Are you familiar with the trope of like a native american running while screaming some crap like "OLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLO!"

Well it's not because he was way ahead of his time on internet memes, it's because that's literally what they did to scare buffalo and run them off cliffs. Entire herds of them, and usually did so with only a party of like a dozen people.

One of the biggest draw of guns for the natives when the colonials landed was cause that shit REALLY freaked out buffalo and carried significantly less risk of being trampled to death.
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Panthera posted...

How are you getting ten people simultaneously onto the back of an animal that stands like six feet tall, can run far faster than a person over short distances, is aggressively territorial and thus not likely to just stand still while you climb onto it, and strong enough that if it swings its head around or runs into you, you're out of the fight? How are you holding on when it doesn't exactly have handles up there? Like I can see the scenario of how the humans win but it's actually getting there that's hard to picture. This is a big, very powerful animal we're talking about, you have to get a bunch of people on top of it all at once *and* have them hold on long enough to drag it down for this to work.

There is literally 100 people.

Like I don't think you get what that means.

This isn't like a Kung fu movie where we attack the hippo 3 people at a time.
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^Nvm my deleted post, it was a different animal I was thinking of for comparison.
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ChromaticAngel posted...

This isn't like a Kung fu movie where we attack the hippo 3 people at a time.

100 people can't attack at a time. Watch people pushing over a car, thats basically a hippo. Thats the maximum amount of people you can get to attack at once.

One of the most important things to establish here is:

1. Do these people fear death?
2. Is the hippo 100% programmed to kill every human?

And I think the only human victory comes from a no/no response. And even then, I think their only strategy would be to tire the hippo out and then eventually beat it to death.
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lukabrosci posted...

ChromaticAngel posted...

This isn't like a Kung fu movie where we attack the hippo 3 people at a time.

100 people can't attack at a time. Watch people pushing over a car, thats basically a hippo. Thats the maximum amount of people you can get to attack at once.

once a large enough crowd forms around the hippo, it will not be able to attack anything other than what is directly in front of it. It'll be completely swamped with people pushing it on all sides. it'll get tipped over, and crushed to death.

"surround the hippo" doesn't mean form a ring exactly 1 human thick around the hippo. it means hippo in middle of a fucking huge mosh pit and the mosh pit all wants to kill it, and none of them have any regard for their own safety.
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VideoboysaysCube posted...

One of the most important things to establish here is:

1. Do these people fear death?
2. Is the hippo 100% programmed to kill every human?

And I think the only human victory comes from a no/no response. And even then, I think their only strategy would be to tire the hippo out and then eventually beat it to death.

it's not an issue of what would happen. it's an issue of ability.

IRL 100 humans would run away from the hippo, and the hippo would get bored and leave.

this is a hypothetical fight to the death scenario.
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The 1st line is going to get crushed. A 4000 pound object going 10-30 MPH, I dunno don't feel like doing the physics but its definitely over 10k pounds of force.

Lets say you have a 12 human ring 8 humans thick, thats only 1600 lbs a hippo has to bust through. No resistance.

lukabrosci posted...

The 1st line is going to get crushed. A 4000 pound object going 10-30 MPH, I dunno don't feel like doing the physics but its definitely over 10k pounds of force.

Lets say you have a 12 human ring 8 humans thick, thats only 1600 lbs a hippo has to bust through. No resistance.

a ford F150 weighs about 4000 pounds.

Heres what it looks like after it hits a deer (300 pound high end)


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How do you think the deer looks?

lukabrosci posted...

How do you think the deer looks?

dead but that's not the point.

Lets say the hippo kills 3 humans (450 pounds) in this charge. Now it has a broken nose and still has to deal with 97 more humans swarming the fuck out of it.
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That's just charging the ring though, it can still kick and bite.

What if it gets into water?

ChromaticAngel posted...

There is literally 100 people.

Like I don't think you get what that means.

This isn't like a Kung fu movie where we attack the hippo 3 people at a time.

There's a limit to how many people can effectively contribute without getting in each others way. The size of the hippo means that's a bigger number than it is against a person, but even so, you can't exactly have twenty people all trying to climb on its back simultaneously, everyone will just push each other out of the way.
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ChromaticAngel posted...

lukabrosci posted...

The 1st line is going to get crushed. A 4000 pound object going 10-30 MPH, I dunno don't feel like doing the physics but its definitely over 10k pounds of force.

Lets say you have a 12 human ring 8 humans thick, thats only 1600 lbs a hippo has to bust through. No resistance.

a ford F150 weighs about 4000 pounds.

Heres what it looks like after it hits a deer (300 pound high end)

You do realize that a deer and a human are built fundamentally differently, right?
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lukabrosci posted...

That's just charging the ring though, it can still kick and bite.

What if it gets into water?

ok so it charges kills 3 people, bites another one, then gets knocked over on the side, is immobile, and people pile up ontop of it like a giant pyramid. It's dead.

"What if it gets into water?" Then wait for it to come out like seriously wtf kind of question is that?
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WhinyZach posted...

didn't you see that .gif? one lion could barely get on a hippo and they're 300lbs. It just kept chugging along. I doubt it's gonna let 10 humans get on it.

And that is a juvenile hippo. Full grown are probably twice that size.
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boxington posted...

it's hard for a bunch of lions to take down a hippo, due to how strong and durable they are



idk, though

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pmcq6lviyr0
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ChromaticAngel posted...

lukabrosci posted...

The 1st line is going to get crushed. A 4000 pound object going 10-30 MPH, I dunno don't feel like doing the physics but its definitely over 10k pounds of force.

Lets say you have a 12 human ring 8 humans thick, thats only 1600 lbs a hippo has to bust through. No resistance.

a ford F150 weighs about 4000 pounds.

Heres what it looks like after it hits a deer (300 pound high end)

False equivalency.

Run into a wall.

Then drive into a wall.

Car takes more damage. Are you stronger than a car?

Second test.

Look up how to rip a phone book in half with your barehands. There's an interesting trick to it.

Hippo feels threatened, it will run to the water and it will trample the humans in its way. Plain and simple.
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The Deadpool posted...

Car takes more damage.

The wall won't be standing after I drive into it. It will be fine if I run into it.

The Deadpool posted...

Look up how to rip a phone book in half with your barehands. There's an interesting trick to it.

You don't really understand the physics behind phonebook ripping if you think it's comparable to a hippopotamus charging at you.

The Deadpool posted...

Hippo feels threatened, it will run to the water and it will trample the humans in its way. Plain and simple.

It'll try and it'll fail because there are 100 humans.
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ChromaticAngel posted...

The wall won't be standing after I drive into it.

That depends on a lot of factors.

ChromaticAngel posted...

You don't really understand the physics behind phonebook

Do you?

You seem to believe 100 humans is the same as a single amorphous blob with the strength and weight of a human multiplied by 100.
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The Deadpool posted...

You seem to believe 100 humans is the same as a single amorphous blob with the strength and weight of a human multiplied by 100.

You don't need a single amorphous blob with the strength of 100 men to take down a hippo. It is, in fact, fucking overkill. The hippo has no chance.
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The charging hippo won't be hitting 100 or even 10 humans simultaneously, it will be hitting at most two or three at once, and each human lacks the balance/strength to stay on their feet when a hippo rams them. It's very hard for a crowd of people to really leverage their size advantage against the hippo in that kind of scenario, it ends up just being the hippo running over a few people at a time with the best the people can do being to trip it with their broken bodies.
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Panthera posted...

The charging hippo won't be hitting 100 or even 10 humans simultaneously,

But apparently the hundred humans are surrounding the hippo AND putting all of their mass and strength together to stop the charge at the same time... because of magic.
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Panthera posted...

The charging hippo won't be hitting 100 or even 10 humans simultaneously, it will be hitting at most two or three at once, and each human lacks the balance/strength to stay on their feet when a hippo rams them. It's very hard for a crowd of people to really leverage their size advantage against the hippo in that kind of scenario, it ends up just being the hippo running over a few people at a time with the best the people can do being to trip it with their broken bodies.

A hippo cannot maintain charging momentum while running over people. It'll slow down and the large amount of people it didn't trample will tackle the fuck out of it.
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Panthera posted...

The charging hippo won't be hitting 100 or even 10 humans simultaneously, it will be hitting at most two or three at once,

Maybe if it rams without moving it's head, but I doubt it would just ram.
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f90vM3zxuHQ

Group of humans are sure great at stopping a charge...
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ChromaticAngel posted...

A hippo cannot maintain charging momentum while running over people. It'll slow down and the large amount of people it didn't trample will tackle the fuck out of it.

Yeah that's the best bet for humanity actually, not climbing on it or trying to beat it at red rover, just die in enough numbers for it to lose its footing. If it slows down and some people can gouge at its eyes enough to limit its vision, team human probably pulls it off by out waiting it if nothing else. The humans have a good shot of winning, but it's not due to actually being able to leverage their numbers for any sort of coherent offensive attack, it's just the logistical difficulties of a hippo actually killing one hundred people in a presumably relatively small space.
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boxington posted...

it's hard for a bunch of lions to take down a hippo, due to how strong and durable they are



idk, though

is that even a mature adult? It looks small

humans take this through attrition easily

Humans don't tire easily and the hippo would eventually tire and stop. Pretty sure a couple of full grown men could then break its legs or suffocate it with whatever is on the ground.
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Have 50 serve as fodder while the other 50 either suffocate or gauge the eyes out of the hippo.
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