Poll of the Day > How should I ask out this cute cashier? :3

(+) Yeah! (+)

Zeus posted...

deoxxys posted...

I wrote her a letter of confession, took like an hour and half to write up.

Please tell me that's a joke. That's exactly the shit that Starbucks guy did that not only got him banned from that restaurant but he made headlines over the incident.

Yeah, see. I didn't articulate everything perfectly, but the "I can't help but always be creepy" approach this guy seems to have in life means people need to tell him not to do certain things.

If a fear of rejection is a big problem, don't set yourself up for it by going for it in a way that will probably make her feel like she'll wake up in a pit in a basement... It has nothing to do with being a coward and everything to do with the "how" portion... The right advice is clearly found in the "don't" to "completely rethink" range.
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Sturm_the_Dark posted...

SmokeMassTree posted...

Didn't read the entire topic

Bruh don't give her a letter and walk away like some beta cuck. Walk right up to her, tell her she looks nice today, ask her for her number.

Look, I've not had that much success with asking girls out, but how you do it is really not that hard. If you just compliment her and ask her out for a date (coffee, drinks, whatever), or go for her number if you feel confident enough, that's all you can do. If she says no then you did nothing wrong. You don't need to spend 90 mins writing a letter confessing your feelings...she's going to be totally freaked out. Imagine a random girl came up to you and did the same, whom you hardly know.

That said, don't take the advice of other guys here who worry about all possible circumstances and make all possible excuses. I've done that before, and you just end up not asking out anyone. Better to approach more people and make mistakes than never approach anyone. You learn from the mistakes, and there's a chance they will say yes anyway. It's great that you managed to overcome your fear of approaching her, and although you probably made a mistake, you'll learn from it and will get it right next time. Sometimes it's right for the circumstances to put you off, but it should be rare. Whenever I'm trying to make excuses, I justify it to myself as best as possible, and if it doesn't add up (it usually doesn't) I go for it.

In my experience (and I've done both), it's much more appropriate to ask, "I'd like to take you out on a date" when you have strong feelings for someone than confessing everything. Then see how the date goes.

I wish I could have got real advice early on, but no one was giving me actual advise.

So thats why I went ahead with my method
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Just be ballsy and be like @ "hey how's it going" then pick on her about something if she flirts back then draw it out alittle more then ask hey if you aren't busy this week would you like to do something after work if she sounds displeased then try another day. Arv thinks everyone gets rejected before they get accepted unless it's arv he always gets accepted
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deoxxys posted...

I wrote her a letter of confession, took like an hour and half to write up.

Either way I'm happy.

I've lived my life fearing rejection for far too long, and I have many regrets from not even trying when I liked someone. Who knows, I may have lost my potential soul mate by not even trying and that is why I find these comments about not even trying, disgusting.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XO93Edk7xtw
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You said you wrote the letter, but you didn't say whether or not you gave it to her. Did you? Because if you haven't yet... don't, there's still time to take it back.


Anyways, I don't know if I'd ever ask a girl out while she's working, but if I did, I certainly wouldn't do it at a place I plan on patronizing again

omfg just ask her out stop being lame and trying to send letters
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Yeah all that cute shit that works in the movies, that woman clamor for on social media and amongst their friends, especially when complaining about their dirtbag current relationship, doesn't actually work.

Well it does if you're attractive, or have some value, be it wealth or drugs, or whatever else you can get them. You see females are shallow dirtbag just like everybody else, except since they're kind of coddled by society they have access to good hygiene so they're not actually physical dirty.

I only know one girl who posts shit like that on Facebook, but she's a mega-bitch. Therefore it's safe to conclude that the girl TC is after is also probably a mega-bitch that he wouldn't even want to get involved with once he saw her true colors

SmokeMassTree posted...

Wait

You like internet stalked her? Bit creepy my guy

Just ask for her number next time she checks you out. She'll either say no, she "has a boyfriend", she'll give you a fake number, or she'll give you the real thing.

Be aware that 3/4 answers mean you can never return to that store.

Actually, all of those answers mean you can come back. The only reason you might not be able to is if it turns out she's underaged and she calls over a manager. Ironically enough, the ONE situation where you might not return is the one situation you thought was safe: You get her number. After all, if you go out and things go terribly, *then* you might be in trouble.

SmokeMassTree posted...

Haven't asked her out yet since I already have a couple fuck toys, but mostly because I can't afford to not be able to go to that store. Best one around.

That's more an issue if she goes out with you and things go badly.
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just tell her about how you like her facebook posts.
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-X76FijmI70
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The only way you can flirt with employees is if you manage to get them to break professional character and act like they would if they were your friend. They start using cuss words and complaining about their day, that's a good sign.
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Yellow posted...

The only way you can flirt with employees is if you manage to get them to break professional character and act like they would if they were your friend. They start using cuss words and complaining about their day, that's a good sign.

Not really true. First off, if somebody's just doing their job, they're going to keep conversation to a minimum. Second, a lot of not-giving-a-shit employees will routinely curse and complain. That doesn't mean anything. Broadly speaking, there are no real "signs" because every person is different -- just like everywhere else. Plus, if they're overly introverted or shy, you probably won't get any strong reaction in general.
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deoxxys posted...

Shes too adorbs to ignore, and her facebook is full of romance posts about how shes waiting for "the right one", etc etc.

Pro tip: It aint you.

I mean you're stalking her facebook. The fuck is wrong with you?
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you shouldn't have looked her facebook page. that's creepy. i also know it's creepy because i used to do it before until i realized it was creepy and its more fun and interesting finding out everything about that person when you get to know them

anyways, besides the creepy facebook thing, there's nothing wrong with asking a girl out when she's working. fact is, sometimes there isn't a better opportunity like waiting for her to get off work. that's just reality. plus i think it would look a little creepy if you did that because she might think "woah, how does this guy know my schedule?"

i think you should just ask her out. there are things you don't plan out. you are already stressing out so much. maybe you can start by complimenting her and having a light conversation like asking what she did on the weekend or something like that. and then ask her out.

btw i've seen my friends ask girls out while they are working and they have given them their numbers and vice versa.
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Yellow posted...

The only way you can flirt with employees is if you manage to get them to break professional character and act like they would if they were your friend. They start using cuss words and complaining about their day, that's a good sign.

First off, the idea of "professional character" isn't really a thing unless you're specifically going to a place which emphasizes that employees chat people up (Gamestop, Disney Store, etc). Your average employee will keep talking down to a minimum -- in fact, that's often part of their job, whether they're a dedicated cashier trying to keep the lines down or they have additional duties besides the register.

Second, whether a person curses or complains isn't significant in the least because it pertains to the individuals themselves and their personal preferences. Some guys will curse or complain without even knowing you. Other people don't curse period.

There are no real "signs," because -- just like in every other situation -- people tend to be different. In the extreme case of an overly introverted or shy person, you might not get much of a reaction at all. Other people are naturally talkative, friendly, and open so they could feel comfortable sharing random stories about their family with complete strangers. And, in general, if you wait for the stars to align before you take a chance, you're going to get nowhere in life.
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She didnt reply, but didnt block me.

Another girl tonight stocking shelves was being overtly friendly with me and trying to help me find my ingredients for my Tortilla Soup and even made physical contact. I wonder if it has anything to do with making a point to say hello to her everyday for the past couple months.

penis
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ok but what did the letter say
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Greenfox111 posted...

ok but what did the letter say

Oh it was just said I thought she was cute and I'd like to get to know her, etc
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deoxxys posted...

she was cute and I'd like to get to know her

So you're like her secret admirer.
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EclairReturns posted...

deoxxys posted...

she was cute and I'd like to get to know her

So you're like her secret admirer.

yeah but I guess it isnt going to work out so oh well, guess Ill give my attention to this other girl
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deoxxys posted...

EclairReturns posted...

deoxxys posted...

she was cute and I'd like to get to know her

So you're like her secret admirer.

yeah but I guess it isnt going to work out so oh well, guess Ill give my attention to this other girl

she works in the same place?
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DorkLink posted...

You said you wrote the letter, but you didn't say whether or not you gave it to her. Did you? Because if you haven't yet... don't, there's still time to take it back.


Anyways, I don't know if I'd ever ask a girl out while she's working, but if I did, I certainly wouldn't do it at a place I plan on patronizing again

This is on point. I've asked out people I just liked the look of and got their number. That's confidence for you, rather than a serial killer-esque "confession note"... When she is being paid to be nice, you need to see it for what it is. Aside from which, I highly doubt this guy is capable of not reading too much into things given this train wreck of a topic.

I love how he says nobody offered him real advice so he went this shitty route... I called it in an earlier post, I think. Something about people like this only wanting to be told what they want to hear (about us not being negative but telling him things he doesn't like).

The real advice was "don't do this to her at work" - especially given the pathetic vibe of this topic that pretty much confirms no girl will probably bite anyway. Asking for advice here means you're likely in trouble already... There's a high chance of awkward failure just doing this like a sane person. The note thing will probably result in security walking her to her car at night.

In all honesty, a picture of each of them (I am not requesting this!) would probably put the whole thing to bed one way or another. Being good looking and awkward can win the day under "adorable"...
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pipebomb_phil posted...

deoxxys posted...

EclairReturns posted...

deoxxys posted...

she was cute and I'd like to get to know her

So you're like her secret admirer.

yeah but I guess it isnt going to work out so oh well, guess Ill give my attention to this other girl

she works in the same place?

Im in between jobs trying to think of what career choice I want to go with since being an electrician didnt work out.

But to answer your question yeah we all work at the same place
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deoxxys posted...

pipebomb_phil posted...

deoxxys posted...

EclairReturns posted...

deoxxys posted...

she was cute and I'd like to get to know her

So you're like her secret admirer.

yeah but I guess it isnt going to work out so oh well, guess Ill give my attention to this other girl

she works in the same place?

Im in between jobs trying to think of what career choice I want to go with since being an electrician didnt work out.

But to answer your question yeah we all work at the same place

WE all work? That changes the dynamics quite a bit. On the one hand it allows for getting to know her better, but starting a relationship with a coworker can go far worse than if you were a customer and her an employee.

That said, immediately moving on to another girl won't go over at all. Girls talk. The stock girl either already knows of your interest in the former or will shortly because of the letter, so she won't like being second.
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Woah, I thought you were a customer trying to ask a cashier out. But you work with her AND the other girl you're going to move on to?
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Man, this story went from failing on one level to three really fast

DorkLink posted...

Man, this story went from failing on one level to three really fast

How?

Everythings been going fine
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pipebomb_phil posted...

Woah, I thought you were a customer trying to ask a cashier out. But you work with her AND the other girl you're going to move on to?

thinking bout it, I'll just do what Ive always done, be friendly talk a bit etc
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deoxxys posted...

DorkLink posted...

Man, this story went from failing on one level to three really fast

How?

Everythings been going fine

Well, first it was just writing a cringey letter. But then you go on and also try to pursue a different girl who works in the same place? And strike three was finding out that you work with them and aren't just a customer.

DorkLink posted...

deoxxys posted...

DorkLink posted...

Man, this story went from failing on one level to three really fast

How?

Everythings been going fine

Well, first it was just writing a cringey letter. But then you go on and also try to pursue a different girl who works in the same place? And strike three was finding out that you work with them and aren't just a customer.

Letter wasnt cringey yo, just told her I thought she was cute and that I wanted to get to know her.
And second, I considered pursuing second girl, just because first one seems like a lost cause and things are going smooth with this one. Third, does it really matter that we work together? For one the place is so big and has so many employees that we could go a week without seeing each other unless we work in adjacent departments.
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deoxxys posted...

Letter wasnt cringey yo, just told her I thought she was cute and that I wanted to get to know her.

Doesn't matter what you wrote, just giving her the letter was cringey enough
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DUDE LOL

I feel like you planned out this epic plot twist beforehand.
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Go buy something (something cheap but practical, like you actually need it). Bread, Milk, something. Not just like a candy bar or something stupid.

As she's checking you out, saying something like "I think you're really cute, I was wondering if I could have your number?"

She'll either be like "I have a boyfriend" (obvious lie from what you've said about her profile), but you ignore it and forget about her because she's not interested. Or just a plain old "No, I'm sorry" in which you do the same thing.

Or she will be like "Ummm, sure". So she gives it to you and then you say something like "Cool, my name is deoxxys, its nice to meet you. I'll shoot you a text, maybe we can grab a bite to eat or get drinks this weekend" and then you leave.

Then wait a day and text her, saying you want to know if Saturday afternoon (or whenver you're free) will work. She'll either say "Yes" and then you tell her the time and place, or she'll say "No, but what about XXXX day and time" to which you agree to. If she doesn't respond, you forget about her and move on. DO NOT send follow up texts to her AT ALL.

I've picked up chicks and gotten dates from an age range of 18-37 using this method. I'm mid-20s.


And just read the thread and realized you ****ed up, never mind. Use my post for future reference. Lastly, don't **** where you eat aka date girls you work with.

I mean, why would you not mention earlier that your relationship with them is as coworkers when people are giving you all this advice like "She gets paid to pretend to be nice to people"?

And if you try to pursue anything with the second girl it just makes you look really desperate. They're going to think you view relationships as some sort of transaction that you have to maximize your odds on. It's fine to not get hung up on this one girl and move on to the next, but to be considering it so soon and when they both work in the same place is pretty sleazy.

fettster777 posted...

And just read the thread and realized you ****ed up, never mind. Use my post for future reference.

lol yea bit late, thanks anyway though
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DorkLink posted...

I mean, why would you not mention earlier that your relationship with them is as coworkers when people are giving you all this advice like "She gets paid to pretend to be nice to people"?

Because at that point I was tired of advice that wasnt helping my cause, one guy called me a beta cuck but gave me better advice then all of the defeatist posts
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deoxxys posted...

DorkLink posted...

I mean, why would you not mention earlier that your relationship with them is as coworkers when people are giving you all this advice like "She gets paid to pretend to be nice to people"?

Because at that point I was tired of advice that wasnt helping my cause, one guy called me a beta cuck but gave me better advice then all of the defeatist posts

it sounds like you just want to listen to advice that you want to hear, like someone already mentioned.
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deoxxys posted...

DorkLink posted...

I mean, why would you not mention earlier that your relationship with them is as coworkers when people are giving you all this advice like "She gets paid to pretend to be nice to people"?

Because at that point I was tired of advice that wasnt helping my cause, one guy called me a beta cuck but gave me better advice then all of the defeatist posts

That doesn't make any sense. You were tired of getting advice that wasn't applicable to your situation, so the logical thing to do is to not clarify the situation?

This isnt advice:

SpeedDemon20 posted...

Don't do it.

VideoboysaysCube posted...

Forget about it. If it's something you have to plan, you've already failed.

eating4fun posted...

No, you should assume you failed, go home, and sulk.

SushiSquid posted...

leave her alone.

rexcrk posted...

You don't.

She probably has guys hitting on her all day long and is sick of it.

Mead posted...

How should I make a move on this person that is literally being paid to be nice to me?

Jen0125 posted...

You don't.

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^Yes it is. Telling somebody not to do something stupid counts as advice. It's advising your course of action, is it not? Telling you to go for it would have been cruel to both of you. There's nothing deeper to say here, other than it's a bad idea. There is not a good way to handle this, given the obviously weird circumstances surrounding the situation. The fact you don't think your note idea is creepy speaks to the fact you really need to learn how to accept the input of others, rather than just request a group of PotD yesmen to back your play.

Any normal person would've either decided it was uncool or tried to build a rapport with her then see where it goes, not just randomly ask out some cashier or give her creepy af letter of confession... If you're politely flirty and she doesn't seem to like it as much as you do, drop it. If she seems excited, maybe you have an opening. Have an honest friend with you (that has had a girlfriend) while making small talk and just get their opinion afterwards without making any moves. There's some advice to test the water, at least. If your friend tells you to back off, give up.
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This dude really just facebook stalked a random cashier he doesnt even know?



Damn

You got her number off of an aids walk list?!

MICHALECOLE posted...

You got her number off of an aids walk list?!

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You should've mentioned your worked with her from the start. That changes the dynamic completely and you probably would've gotten more sound advice

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KY1MAIY_FZY

Can't resist posting this

OhhhJa posted...

You should've mentioned your worked with her from the start. That changes the dynamic completely and you probably would've gotten more sound advice

I somehow missed that part.
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SmokeMassTree posted...

For reference I also have a "crush" on a cute cashier

She works at the vape store I go to. Tight little body with a massive ass, and I mean MASSIVE. Always wearing tight yoga pants and bending over right in front of me to get the coils. She knows what she's doing.

Nice
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Any updates?
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CoinFlipBimbo posted...

Any updates?

saw her yesterday and just pretended like I didnt see her, other girl wasnt working so I couldnt make any progress there.

Though my fuck buddy replied to me molesterday