Poll of the Day > What is your relationship with your father(s) like?

(+) Yeah! (+)

With Fathers' Day this Sunday (June 18th), I felt compelled to make this topic as I truly want to know what everyone's relationship is like. The reason for this inquiry is that I didn't get to know mine very well (or at least, that I remember) since he passed away when I was very young. Having only had a handful of memories that I even remember, these twenty-odd years later, it's very hard to remember anything about him so, naturally, I compensate this inadequacy by asking others.

You can be as detailed or brief as you want.

Not good.
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Mines a CoolGamerDad.

Not very close. When I was young he was always away for work and rarely spent time with me and my siblings. He always did the bare minimum when it came to fatherhood. He provided financially for us and that's about the extent of it.

Now that I'm an adult neither of us have made any effort to get closer to one another.

I also lost a lot of respect for him when learned how shitty of a husband he was to my mother.

Inb4 everyone whining about how shitty their father was

OhhhJa posted...

Inb4 everyone whining about how shitty their father was

Mine gave me all the money I will need before I was even born
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VeeVees posted...

OhhhJa posted...

Inb4 everyone whining about how shitty their father was

Mine gave me all the money I will need before I was even born

Whiner

My dad's awesome. Totes my hero
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Eh

Always put his 3 kids down, wouldnt support mum or let her work but he always had money for his WW2 antiques even thou he was on welfare due to a work related injury he suffered back in the late 70's early 80's

But

His own dad was apparently a wife beating ******* .. so .. yeah

I'm surprised he showed up to my wedding but has yet to meet his only grand child

Guess all that makes the nicer moments stand out more.. even thou it was extremely awkward when he was..
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He's dead, Jim.
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Early life...my dad was out to sea every so often (Navy brat here), and we had hard times along the way, but my dad's a good person, all things considered.

He helped in raising me to the person I turned out to be, spent some time bonding with me when he could, instilled in me a good set of morals - he's the kind of guy who does things well when it's set before him.
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My parents split up when I was 5; we moved to another state, and he died four years later. So I don't really know him.

I didn't have many other positive male role models either; my uncles were nice but I didn't see them very often. We were close to my old pastor and his family, but they were all... terrible.. people.

Closest thing I had was my big brother. Not having a dad combined with being poor sort of instilled in him a responsibility to take care of me, and that led to some less than moral decisions. I occasionally took part in such activities, but mainly because the two of us were inseparable and I just considered it us doing stuff together.

Things caught up him and for a lot of my teenage years he wasn't around. After that things calmed down a lot, and now he's a dedicated family man with a booming car audio business, honestly one of the best guys I've known. No matter what he did before, his heart was always in the right place.

Didn't mean for this to be so long; it just kind of poured out.
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WastelandCowboy posted...

With Fathers' Day this Sunday (June 18th), I felt compelled to make this topic as I truly want to know what everyone's relationship is like. The reason for this inquiry is that I didn't get to know mine very well (or at least, that I remember) since he passed away when I was very young. Having only had a handful of memories that I even remember, these twenty-odd years later, it's very hard to remember anything about him so, naturally, I compensate this inadequacy by asking others.

You can be as detailed or brief as you want.

The one that raised me-great, good guy and no complaints.
The one that spawned me and disappeared, then reappeared in my early 30's-not terrible, we're still just acquaintances, really.

I'm getting ready to visit my dad for Father's day. We're not super close but we have a lot in common. It will be nice to see him.
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I have only one and it's fine enough.

Unlike most folk who have separated parents my issues are with the thing that gave birth to me not my dad.
I actually live at home with my dad and I've no real issue with him despite the fact he used to knock me and my siblings about when we were kids

Although I don't celebrate these pointless days all that much I do buy him a card and aftershave. It's not much but it doesn't need to be either. I don't see why it should be dictated to me, on that day I must treat my dad like a king when I can take him for a pint or whatever whenever I please.
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It was great, but he died when I was 25. Sad times.
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Was a true old school gamer. Loved board games, Intellivision, Nintendo, horse racing, model trains and smoked a pipe.
Born in 1918, fought as an artillery sergeant in WWII and Korea. Worked for utility company then a bank. Died when I was 10.
Didn't leave much behind except these memories an much more.

I emulate alot of his ways. His depression era mentality was instilled in me. Waste and overspending are huge issues with me. Respect and responsibility are the main things I pass on to my own children.
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He's pretty conservative, so if politics gets brought up we usually argue, though sometimes we do agree, like how terrible Clinton is

And we don't have much in common, but he's a damn good dad, he's always there for me and my siblings and he instilled great morals into us (even if some were a bit conservative)
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Mine died when I was 16. Before then, pretty great, fantastic dad.
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Not bad, but not good. I really didn't have a great childhood. We were extremely poor and I was constantly isolated from other people by my parents. Then never allowed me to partake in any after school activities or even really have friends until I was well into high school. I was also regularly beaten, insulted, and punished by them for doing pretty much anything that didn't involve sitting down, shutting up, and following my dad's orders.

I kind of have pent up hatred for my dad that I never really got to fully let out before I moved to a different country. It's probably because I'm still coming to terms with the fact that I was probably physically and mentally abused as a child. We still have an okay relationship, I call them at least once a month and visit a couple of times a year, but none of these issues were ever resolved or discussed. I kind of just pretended like none of it happened as I got older, and my dad probably doesn't even think / realize he did anything wrong. Yeah, he's one of those people.

My parents still are very poor and living in a different country, but I feel like someday soon they'll be needing my and my wife's help financially, as neither of them has any plan for retirement, and they're fast approaching 70 years old. I'll definitely call him on Father's Day, and the call will be amicable, but beneath the surface our relationship is probably all sorts of fucked up.
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Never got to have one. He died when I was a little kid. Mom did some incredibly self destructive things after that, and my two preteen siblings and I were forced to kind of feel our way through it on our own without an adult presence.

Bad times.
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He died when I was in 10th grade. I'm sure the relation would have been unpleasant.
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<__< wew the feels this topic elicits

My father and I have a great relationship. We're very much alike in personality and sense of humor, and I respect him for teaching me how to navigate life in his legalese no-nonsense approach. If anything, we're so alike to the point that we get frustrated with one another because we can both be stubborn about how "right" we are.

He's always been supportive of me and I wouldn't be who and where I am today without him. Apparently he trusts me to handle the family's affairs after his death instead my older brother, so yeah. I know he's very proud of me and will always have my back wherever I go in life. All he really wants from me these days is grandchildren!
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Ultimately any bitching I can do about my dad would be petty whining in the grand scheme. While he did have a tendency to yell over trivial shit "WHERE THE HELL IS MY REMOTE" he never hit us, never abused us, always had food and clothing and a bed to sleep in. he gave everything he had to make sure his children had a better life than he did growing up, and he sure as hell made it happen.

died when I was 24.

I think I've done more than my fair share of complaining about him. So, I'll just sum it up with a 'not good'.
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It couldn't be better. His dad was lame so he tried hard and succeeded. Any time I've needed his help he always was there, in person or financially.
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RCtheWSBC posted...

<__< wew the feels this topic elicits

My father and I have a great relationship. We're very much alike in personality and sense of humor, and I respect him for teaching me how to navigate life in his legalese no-nonsense approach. If anything, we're so alike to the point that we get frustrated with one another because we can both be stubborn about how "right" we are.

He's always been supportive of me and I wouldn't be who and where I am today without him. Apparently he trusts me to handle the family's affairs after his death instead my older brother, so yeah. I know he's very proud of me and will always have my back wherever I go in life. All he really wants from me these days is grandchildren!

Wow what an asshole. Must have been tough growing up with a father like that

I wouldn't say we're close but we get along well enough. We just don't have a lot in common. I have always been a lot closer to my mom.
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If my dad dropped dead tomorrow, I couldn't care less.
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I wasn't always happy with my father. Now I'm glad he is my dad.
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Well, I'm black. So yeah...
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EvilMegas posted...

Well, I'm black. So yeah...

Hey now, my post was wholesome af
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RCtheWSBC posted...

EvilMegas posted...

Well, I'm black. So yeah...

Hey now, my post was wholesome af

Haven't you figured out by now that you're the exception?
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Kana posted...

Haven't you figured out by now that you're the exception?

On a serious note, of course >_>

But at the the same time I worry that people on here will take Sage's light-hearted post as reinforcing a stereotype as the norm for black families when it isn't.
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My father didn't want anything to do with me and left my mother before I was born.

That's it.

RCtheWSBC posted...

Kana posted...

Haven't you figured out by now that you're the exception?

On a serious note, of course >_>

But at the the same time I worry that people on here will take Sage's light-hearted post as reinforcing a stereotype as the norm for black families when it isn't.

Lmao, fuck em
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EvilMegas posted...

Lmao, fuck em

you know these fools on here man, they don't need much excuse
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DevilSummoner1 posted...

Not good.

He's aight. But I do frequently have to remind him that I'm bigger, faster, and stronger than him through the feats of strength.
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Good. When I was a kid, he worked a lot, but he still took the time to do stuff with me. He DMed for my friends and I in middle school and he would ocassionally play videogames with me. He was kind of a hardass about my schoolwork when I got lazy, but he cares a lot.

There was a good long while where I barely talked to him because he lived hundreds of miles away and I just really didn't want to talk to anyone.

As an adult he's been supportive when I needed it. I'm a very unmotivated person and I've had some shit happen that's made it hard to stay independent. He's helped in the tough times, like the past couple of years. I'm living with my parents for the time being and while we don't spend a ton of time together, we get along fine when we do.
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My dad is still around, he did a pretty good job overall, worked his ass off to keep us happy and stayed with my mom despite the fact I don't think he really feels much for her anymore. The only real major fault is that he is a passive guy and passed it into us, I tend to just put up with things rather than complain to a fault, but I mean that's the most of it, otherwise he provided as he should have and was supportive.

Garbage
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Smarkil posted...

He's aight. But I do frequently have to remind him that I'm bigger, faster, and stronger than him through the feats of strength.

I bet you never hear the end of it during the airing of grievances.
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My birth dad left my mom before I was born.

My brothers' dad looked after us until I was about 8 and then he left too.

Turns out both of them were abusive, demanding, and manipulative asshats.

So yeah, to answer the question, "Nonexistant"
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Loving relationship.

I love my dad. In many aspects, he's my hero.

I suppose I say that because he's raised our family the best he could. We saw and understood his efforts; the hardships, the sacrifices he made to ensure we had a bright future, his devotion. Now that I'm older, I can better understand the choices he made and why he made them. He leads by example.

Growing up, we wanted for nothing. We were pampered, to the point of being spoiled. But even so, my parents always ensured that we knew and understood the amount of sacrifice he had to do to provide us the things that we had. He always wanted us to have things and opportunities that he never had.

Humility is a virtue that he spoke of very often and looking back at it now, his choices in life always revolved in that principle.

He was a stern and strict father in some ways; studies, curfews, dating, the notion of respect especially at home. But at the same time, he is our best friend. He likes video games and indulges in them. He tells lame jokes that only we understand. And we can confide in him. He's my go-to person (along with my mum) whenever I have a bad day. I don't hesitate to ask for advice when I feel confused or lost. I don't feel embarrassed in sharing my insecurities either.

One thing about my father that I don't see in many fathers is that my dad prefers we do things together as a family; movie nights, picnics, fine dining, vacations etc. While growing up, we always shared meals together. We waited for everyone to be seated and no one ate until the family is complete. It's a value that he instilled in us from a young age; family is everything.

My father is a classical and traditional kind of man. He still believes in chivalry. Believes in the institution of marriage. He's a devout Catholic. But at the same time, he's a modern man as well. He always supported my dreams and encouraged female empowerment. He always said: Be assertive but not aggressive. Treat others the way you want to be treated.

I suppose the gist is that my dad raised us with the fundamentals that life is black and white; simple. But he also told us as we grew up that the world is in fact, grey. And that we'd cross that bridge when we got there, together. He said that figuring out the grey parts is what life is all about.

I love my dad! Hehe! We're going to treat him for a weekend getaway for Father's Day. :)))
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EvilMegas posted...

Well, I'm black. So yeah...

LMFAO I'm weakkkkkkk

I was gonna post but saw keyblades post and this

I'm dead (and also sad a bit...)
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Bump

We get along. Not too much in common but we like most of the same tv and stuff
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My birth father means absolutely nothing to me. Saying he was just the sperm donor to my creation sums up the extent of our relationship

On the other hand I get along quite well with my adoptive father, to the point where i consider him to be my real father. He taught me to appreciate and enjoy a lot of things I would have otherwise disregarded.
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