Current Events > The New York Times: "Is an open marriage a happier marriage?"

(+) Yeah! (+)

Raikuro posted...

It's funny how many people treat marriage like a sex contract lol

It is a contract, with that being one of the stipulations. If you don't like it...don't enter into the contract.
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Marriage is about two people joining together in love. :o To share everything with each other. If you're getting dick on the side you're soiling the meaning of the agreement.

If all you want to do is whore around then don't get married. This isn't complicated. Nothing wrong with whoring around, but don't try to dress it up as an "open marriage." There's no such thing...

to be clear the document that makes a marriage legal is literally a contract

one of the fundamental understandings of that contract is sexual fidelity, the terms of which are up to the participants

the problem people have with this article is that it presents a positive view of situations in which the terms were changed because one party demanded it and the other submitted, not situations in which both parties excitedly embraced the situation
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Stopped reading at The New York Times.

While there is no literal mystical bond, even our courts recognize the importance and sacred tradition. Is there any valid reason you shouldn't be compelled to witness against your spouse? Fuck no.
But our society absolutely recognizes and respects the bond.
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No cucking
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Not everyone looks at sex the same way guys. If it works out for them, good on them. Sex isn't always about love.

I'd ask if you guys fall in love with every fling you've had but that seems to be a pointless question here.
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FrisbeeDude posted...

The Admiral posted...

What a pathetic article. Amazing that there is actually a movement to justify being an emasculated pussy nowadays.

In Addy's mind: every open relationship is some guy sitting at home with his dick in his hand while his wife is banging the town.

It may shock some of you, but a good deal of men in relationships are just as attractive/desirable to people other than their significant other and don't get as insecure when an open relationship is mentioned

So? It doesn't matter if you're attractive to other people after marriage. If you're a man, don't fucking cheat on your girl, and don't let others have your girl. It's so fucking simple, but some people are so keen on defending literal douchebaggery
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Romulox28 posted...

what the fuck is the point of getting married if you are going to have an open marriage lmao

As far as legal benefits, you have a fair point, actually.

Might as well just make the benefits available to any form of relationship and save time rofl.
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legendarylemur posted...

FrisbeeDude posted...

The Admiral posted...

What a pathetic article. Amazing that there is actually a movement to justify being an emasculated pussy nowadays.

In Addy's mind: every open relationship is some guy sitting at home with his dick in his hand while his wife is banging the town.

It may shock some of you, but a good deal of men in relationships are just as attractive/desirable to people other than their significant other and don't get as insecure when an open relationship is mentioned

So? It doesn't matter if you're attractive to other people after marriage. If you're a man, don't fucking cheat on your girl, and don't let others have your girl. It's so fucking simple, but some people are so keen on defending literal douchebaggery

If it's an open marriage they're not cheating.
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Darmik posted...

Not everyone looks at sex the same way guys. If it works out for them, good on them. Sex isn't always about love.

I'd ask if you guys fall in love with every fling you've had but that seems to be a pointless question here.

But this is about marriage. It's not some hookup with extra benefits lol. If you're married, generally it's to start a family. I wouldn't want my kids in an environment where open marriage is being practiced. God, it would mess them up. I think if one considered some open relationship, they're obviously not ready for marriage yet
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The majority of you guys are close-minded as HELL rofl. Jesus, society has far to go. If it's agreed upon with the couple in question, open relationships/open marriages are fine and it's no one else's business but those involved.
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Darmik posted...

legendarylemur posted...

FrisbeeDude posted...

The Admiral posted...

What a pathetic article. Amazing that there is actually a movement to justify being an emasculated pussy nowadays.

In Addy's mind: every open relationship is some guy sitting at home with his dick in his hand while his wife is banging the town.

It may shock some of you, but a good deal of men in relationships are just as attractive/desirable to people other than their significant other and don't get as insecure when an open relationship is mentioned

So? It doesn't matter if you're attractive to other people after marriage. If you're a man, don't fucking cheat on your girl, and don't let others have your girl. It's so fucking simple, but some people are so keen on defending literal douchebaggery

If it's an open marriage they're not cheating.

Actually, if you think about it, it's a form of giving up a large aspect of being faithful to your partner. It IS cheating. It's just... allowed cheating
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Leanaunfurled posted...

The majority of you guys are close-minded as HELL rofl. Jesus, society has far to go. If it's agreed upon with the couple in question, open relationships/open marriages are fine and it's no one else's business but those involved.

Actually, if a family has kids and are still practicing open marriage, it directly affects me, because my kids will learn from other kids with such families. The idea of family is largely prevalent on the society, and such a mindset is the business of everybody who lives in that society
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legendarylemur posted...

Darmik posted...

Not everyone looks at sex the same way guys. If it works out for them, good on them. Sex isn't always about love.

I'd ask if you guys fall in love with every fling you've had but that seems to be a pointless question here.

But this is about marriage. It's not some hookup with extra benefits lol. If you're married, generally it's to start a family. I wouldn't want my kids in an environment where open marriage is being practiced. God, it would mess them up. I think if one considered some open relationship, they're obviously not ready for marriage yet

Why would your kids know about your private sex life?

Again your standards for what a marriage is doesn't apply to everyone. Your standards for sex don't apply to everyone. For some people sex is a job even.

If a husband had a threesome with his wife and her friend would he be a cheater? No.

What people do to spice up their sex life is up to them. If they're happy, honest and not abusing other people it really doesn't matter what that entails.
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legendarylemur posted...

Leanaunfurled posted...

The majority of you guys are close-minded as HELL rofl. Jesus, society has far to go. If it's agreed upon with the couple in question, open relationships/open marriages are fine and it's no one else's business but those involved.

Actually, if a family has kids and are still practicing open marriage, it directly affects me, because my kids will learn from other kids with such families. The idea of family is largely prevalent on the society, and such a mindset is the business of everybody who lives in that society

Do you know all about your parents sex life or something? Is that where you drew your inspiration from?

legendarylemur posted...

Actually, if you think about it, it's a form of giving up a large aspect of being faithful to your partner. It IS cheating. It's just... allowed cheating

Being faithful to your partner is being honest with them and being loyal to their needs and wants. What that entails is up to you and your partner.

So no. It's not cheating if it's allowed.
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legendarylemur posted...

Leanaunfurled posted...

The majority of you guys are close-minded as HELL rofl. Jesus, society has far to go. If it's agreed upon with the couple in question, open relationships/open marriages are fine and it's no one else's business but those involved.

Actually, if a family has kids and are still practicing open marriage, it directly affects me, because my kids will learn from other kids with such families. The idea of family is largely prevalent on the society, and such a mindset is the business of everybody who lives in that society

Your kids will learn...what, exactly? Different styles of relationships that may or may not even be for them and open communication with their partner? How terrible, indeed. Your extreme conservative nonsense is more harmful to kids than anything else.

And I legitimately laughed out loud at "it's cheating it's just allowed cheating." Boy, please.
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Darmik posted...

legendarylemur posted...

Darmik posted...

Not everyone looks at sex the same way guys. If it works out for them, good on them. Sex isn't always about love.

I'd ask if you guys fall in love with every fling you've had but that seems to be a pointless question here.

But this is about marriage. It's not some hookup with extra benefits lol. If you're married, generally it's to start a family. I wouldn't want my kids in an environment where open marriage is being practiced. God, it would mess them up. I think if one considered some open relationship, they're obviously not ready for marriage yet

Why would your kids know about your private sex life?

Again your standards for what a marriage is doesn't apply to everyone. Your standards for sex don't apply to everyone. For some people sex is a job even.

If a husband had a threesome with his wife and her friend would he be a cheater? No.

What people do to spice up their sex life is up to them. If they're happy, honest and not abusing other people it really doesn't matter what that entails.

Practicing some shady alternate sex life away from your kid's eyes? Lol... I mean maybe I guess I'm the weird guy but... that honestly sounds even worse. This is just a discussion about generality though isn't it? The article suggests open marriage is happier marriage as if speaking generally. So I think we should leave the fetishists out of the discussion.

The thing about family, the closeness of a parent does very directly affect kids. The United States is rife with actual data comparing the difference between children growing up in a broken family and those growing up in a stable family. A sex life outside of the bond between a parent, no matter how jaded you are, results in some degree of rift, and undeniably, a child growing up in that environment cannot be considered to be in the stable family spectrum. I mean I wish I could post data, but it's fucking late, and it's been freaking years and years since I took some psychology class, but I think what I say isn't something totally out there.

An open relationship is giving up on family to some extent. It's a selfish action, and an incredibly selfish one at that. I'd say sometimes it's ok to be selfish, but I personally place a huge emphasis on what's good for the children, and being selfish when growing a family is the last thing that you'd want to happen. It's not a good structure for family in general
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It's cute that they threw in a M/M couple, like there's any growing dispute within gay male communities about open relationships...which are practically a standard rofl.
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Leanaunfurled posted...

legendarylemur posted...

Leanaunfurled posted...

The majority of you guys are close-minded as HELL rofl. Jesus, society has far to go. If it's agreed upon with the couple in question, open relationships/open marriages are fine and it's no one else's business but those involved.

Actually, if a family has kids and are still practicing open marriage, it directly affects me, because my kids will learn from other kids with such families. The idea of family is largely prevalent on the society, and such a mindset is the business of everybody who lives in that society

Your kids will learn...what, exactly? Different styles of relationships that may or may not even be for them and open communication with their partner? How terrible, indeed. Your extreme conservative nonsense is more harmful to kids than anything else.

And I legitimately laughed out loud at "it's cheating it's just allowed cheating." Boy, please.

Ok, just keep your kids away from my kids, and don't get your cheating ass on some high fucking horse and call me a boy. Just remember, US has like what... 50% divorce rates? Other countries have less than 10% on average? Gee, it's almost like we're not normal
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legendarylemur posted...

Practicing some shady alternate sex life away from your kid's eyes? Lol... I mean maybe I guess I'm the weird guy but... that honestly sounds even worse. This is just a discussion about generality though isn't it? The article suggests open marriage is happier marriage as if speaking generally. So I think we should leave the fetishists out of the discussion.

Your sex life should be away from your kids lives regardless. Why would we leave fetishes out of the discussion?

And no I don't think most people could handle an open marriage. Doesn't mean I'm going to demonize people who make it work. 'Shady' because consenting adults are having sex with each other? Please.

legendarylemur posted...

The thing about family, the closeness of a parent does very directly affect kids. The United States is rife with actual data comparing the difference between children growing up in a broken family and those growing up in a stable family. A sex life outside of the bond between a parent, no matter how jaded you are, results in some degree of rift, and undeniably, a child growing up in that environment cannot be considered to be in the stable family spectrum. I mean I wish I could post data, but it's f***ing late, and it's been freaking years and years since I took some psychology class, but I think what I say isn't something totally out there.

So you think open relationships lead to broken families just because?

Your mentality for a relationship isn't the same as everyone else's. Some old church goer in Utah has vastly different expectations for what his marriage should be compared to a young couple in Los Angeles and they have vastly different expectations than some swinging couple has in Germany. Nobody is wrong. It's all due to our expectations, what we're comfortable with and how we were raised. As long as people are happy with their marriage nobody is wrong.

legendarylemur posted...

An open relationship is giving up on family to some extent. It's a selfish action, and an incredibly selfish one at that. I'd say sometimes it's ok to be selfish, but I personally place a huge emphasis on what's good for the children, and being selfish when growing a family is the last thing that you'd want to happen. It's not a good structure for family in general

It's sex. Stop being so melodramatic. Again you're literally whining about people having consenting sexual relationships with other people. Do you think no prostitute has ever had a happy marriage?
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legendarylemur posted...

Ok, just keep your kids away from my kids, and don't get your cheating ass on some high f***ing horse and call me a boy. Just remember, US has like what... 50% divorce rates? Other countries have less than 10% on average? Gee, it's almost like we're not normal

Are you naïve enough to think that the US is the only country that has extra-marital sex and open relationships?

What's even the point of this post? Did all those people have open relationships? What if open relationships had better statistics than monogamous ones?
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This topic is full of people equating sex to love and that's not the case for everyone.
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legendarylemur posted...

Ok, just keep your kids away from my kids, and don't get your cheating ass on some high fucking horse and call me a boy. Just remember, US has like what... 50% divorce rates? Other countries have less than 10% on average? Gee, it's almost like we're not normal

lol Assuming I practice open relationships or ever would. lol Assuming I'm not just fucking open minded of other people doing something I wouldn't, because apparently that's just some goddamn crazy thought. And yes, I forgot our high divorce rate was due to rampant agreed upon polyamorous relationships. /s /s /s /s

Once again, your ignorant crap is more damaging to any kids being raised than someone's private sex life. Get the hell over yourself.
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Woahh easy people, you all need to calm your angry granny panties. It's not like this topic is new. People been bitching back and forth over open relationships forever.

Love or hate em, both open and exclusive marriages are going to continue existing.
Because that's what some societies want as a whole: both.
No rants on CE is gonna change that.
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Personally, I would not be interested in being in an open relationship. I figured out long ago that it's not for me.

That said, if another couple wants to do it (and it's a mutual decision, not a case of one partner pushing the other into it), and they're able to make it work, more power to them. Marriage (and relationships in general) shouldn't have to fit one particular mold.
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If both parties are into it, who cares? If one party isn't or is coerced into it, then fuck the manipulative other party.
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Something like 80% of marriages have at least 1 unfaithful partner. It's likely higher than that because the data is relying on honest answers. So this has already been ubiquitous regardless of the openness of the marriage. Which makes sense, as I just don't think it's in human nature to settle down and only have sex with one person for several decades or til death.

Not that I think open marriages are a step in the right direction for coming to terms with the lie society has been telling itself. While it obviously works for some, I figure most of them are just emotional abuse. I don't have any answers for this. Maybe sex robot waifus/husbandos would cut that figure in half.
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I'm curious where you got 80% from.

Like 80% of husbands or wives cheat on their legal married partner?

Or 80% of people in a marriage have cheated in a previous relationship?
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Never ceases to amaze me how oddly puritanical CE is
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Krojen posted...

Something like 80% of marriages have at least 1 unfaithful partner. It's likely higher than that because the data is relying on honest answers. So this has already been ubiquitous regardless of the openness of the marriage. Which makes sense, as I just don't think it's in human nature to settle down and only have sex with one person for several decades or til death.

80% is high, but I'd believe anything between 10 and 35%.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Infidelity
According to The New York Times, the most consistent data on infidelity comes from the University of Chicago's General Social Survey (GSS). Interviews with people in non-monogamous relationships since 1972 by the GSS have shown that approximately 12% of men and 7% of women admit to having had an extramarital relationship.[6] Results, however, vary year by year, and also by age-group surveyed. For example, one study conducted by the University of Washington, Seattle found slightly, or significantly higher rates of infidelity for populations under 35, or older than 60. In that study which involved 19,065 people during a 15-year period, rates of infidelity among men were found to have risen from 20 to 28%, and rates for women, 5% to 15%.[7] In more recent nationwide surveys, several researchers found that about twice as many men as women reported having an extramarital affair.[8] A survey conducted in 1990 found 2.2% of married participants reported having more than one partner during the past year. In general, national surveys conducted in the early 1990s reported that between 15-25% of married Americans reported having extramarital affairs.[9] Treas and Giesen found that people who had stronger sexual interests, more permissive sexual values, lower subjective satisfaction with their partner, weaker network ties to their partner, and greater sexual opportunities were more likely to be unfaithful.[10] Studies suggest around 30–40% of unmarried relationships and 18–20% of marriages see at least one incident of sexual infidelity.

~

legendarylemur posted...

An open relationship is giving up on family to some extent. It's a selfish action, and an incredibly selfish one at that. I'd say sometimes it's ok to be selfish, but I personally place a huge emphasis on what's good for the children, and being selfish when growing a family is the last thing that you'd want to happen. It's not a good structure for family in general

What if the open relationship caused more loving, thoughtful, and well behaved adults to be in the child's life? That rather than Dad disappearing for the night, Dad's friend Clarise comes over for dinner? Or, if between two childed couples, a playdate? It's no different than having nearby extended family (grandparents/aunts/uncles/cousins/etc) and runs into the same range of possible influences (both good and bad). See also: trusted babysitting, someone to take kids to school/doctors/extracircular activities/etc.

Open relationships aren't necessarily dad disappearing for the weekend, leaving the mom alone with the kids and all the responsibilities therein.
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if you need to be in a "open marriage" you probably shouldn't be married at all lol
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AugustAdoulin posted...

maybe if you're a cuck

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coolboy11 posted...

if you need to be in a "open marriage" you probably shouldn't be married at all lol

This. IDGAF if that's "puritanical" or "close-minded".
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Iodine posted...

Asherlee10 posted...

I don't think there is a "one size fits all" answer here.

For some, yes an open marriage is probably happier. For others, no.

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dave_is_slick posted...

coolboy11 posted...

if you need to be in a "open marriage" you probably shouldn't be married at all lol

This. IDGAF if that's "puritanical" or "close-minded".

Gotta love people who are willfully ignorant for no reason. /s
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You have to shake your head at women who are pro-open marriage, because they are the ones who benefit from it
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There didn't need to be a long discussion about this.

Any time a news headline asks a question, the answer is almost always "No."
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i aint sharing my wife with nobody

and if im going to marry her she won't ever want to share me either

one man one woman just having passionate sex all the time. amazing!
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*generic post about people needing to be happy with the decisions they make despite it being frowned upon.*
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Asherlee10 posted...

I don't think there is a "one size fits all" answer here.

There literally is. An "open marriage" is fundamentally not a marriage at all, and can never work in any circumstance.
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PoopPotato posted...

Just don't get married if you are going to do this

Howl posted...

and can never work in any circumstance.

i don't think you're in any position to make such an assertion. you can't speak for others.
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Leanaunfurled posted...

dave_is_slick posted...

coolboy11 posted...

if you need to be in a "open marriage" you probably shouldn't be married at all lol

This. IDGAF if that's "puritanical" or "close-minded".

Gotta love people who are willfully ignorant for no reason. /s

Refer to the post you quoted.
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Giant_Aspirin posted...

you can't speak for others.

I'm not speaking for them. I'm sure some people think it's working for them right now.
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Howl posted...

Asherlee10 posted...

I don't think there is a "one size fits all" answer here.

There literally is. An "open marriage" is fundamentally not a marriage at all, and can never work in any circumstance.

Lol is this sarcasm?
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PoopPotato posted...

Just don't get married

That's all you need to say
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Coolppl Owns posted...

i aint sharing my wife with nobody

and if im going to marry her she won't ever want to share me either

one man one woman just having passionate sex all the time. amazing!

Christ this is naive
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Darmik posted...

Howl posted...

Asherlee10 posted...

I don't think there is a "one size fits all" answer here.

There literally is. An "open marriage" is fundamentally not a marriage at all, and can never work in any circumstance.

Lol is this sarcasm?

XD Hilarious man!!!!! Good sarcasm question!!!
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If your wife would even suggest this to you it would be time to break up because if there's a will there will be a way.