LogFAQs > #979981240

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NPC 17. MAI, aka Monster Assessment Instrument

Google FF7 Rebirth Mai and all you get are a bunch of haters. "Mai is the single worst addition in the history of FF." "Too bad we can't silence Mai." Those are from Gamefaqs. Board 8 is cultured, so obviously they're not from you, dear reader, but from your neckbeard neighbors on the Rebirth board.

First of all, how dare they. Mai's great. She often chimes in with some surprisingly well-written (but ultimately useless) information about the monster intel. There was nothing in the rule book that said the devs had to explain why there are evolutionary variants to elephadunks, and yet they did. Be grateful!

She also gets into some tropey anime comedy duo skits with her big brother Chadley. I thought these were often funny, though sometimes predictable/cliche. What helps her out is the spirit of her VA performance. Also: I see your posts saying Chadley sucks and I'm choosing to not address them until his appearance on the list.

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NPC 16. Johnny and the "Johnny Squad"

There's something nostalgic and comforting about a Yuri Lowenthal performance these days (besides Spider-Man, because no thanks). I feel like for Johnny, Yuri can just kind of channel an energy of Yosuke if he were on cocaine and ride it all the way through the recording session.

Johnny's likeability in this game is somewhat surprising, since I didn't really like him in Remake. I guess in that one he was pretty much just creepin on Tifa most of the time. Here, he creeps a surprisingly low amount, so I guess that's one explanation. They also show him attempting to mature as a person when he takes responsibility for bringing Hojo to Costa Del Sol (even if it was under the mayor's orders). Finally, they show him becoming a small business owner, as he takes over the house we could buy in the original game and turning it into Johnny's Seaside Views.

Of course, there's also the completely buckwild and slightly culturally opaque choice for Yuffie to make several Ninjutsu clones of Johnny, aka the "Johnny Squad" (which does unfortunately make me think of a pack of condoms for some reason). It seems like I should've hated this quest but I dunno. I thought it was a pretty fun way to make Yuffie feel like part of the party immediately after her joining.

Hint for minigame 13: A rhythm game (but probably not the one you think)