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TopicBoard 8 Watches and Ranks 80s Horror - The Rankings
Snake5555555555
04/17/24 9:04:35 PM
#476:


Plasmabeam - Im not as high on Hellraiser as most, but the creativity is a firestorm and the drama has a sharp, satisfying edge to it.

Karo - A hedonist looking for some experiences that are out of this world activates an ancient artifact and ends up chopped into bits and turned into an unknown creature who lives in the walls, only appearing when human blood is shed (and possibly at scuffed childrens' book festivals).

The mother is the real star here, her decent into madness as she lures into human sacrifices to feed to her grotesque boyfriend while her family remains oblivious.

However, the ending goes completely off the rails in the worst possible way. The Cenobites, who are supposed to be these mysterious and violently hedonistic higher beings, are reduced to lame foddderistic ghouls to chase the main characters around. Plus a random fucking bone dragon for no reason! Yay.

This was something that had such incredible potential that was squandered just for the sake of repetitive horror elements and shifting the focus of the horror from very scary humans to marginally scary monsters just for the visual jerkoff. Though sadly they apparently didnt destroy things enough to avoid making ten fucking sequels to the movie.

Rockus - So compelling that it almost makes you forget that the majority of the action takes place in a single location. Initially feels underwritten as it briskly introduces characters and moves through its setup, but Im more of a themes guy than a plot guy which makes Hellraiser my kind of jam. Like Possession this is another film that will likely unearth more understanding upon repeat viewings with its mix of body horror with sadomasochism and BDSM. An extremely wet and goopy horror film (in a good way!) with some terrific effects, and the cenobites are wonderfully designed and conceived horror icons.

Johnbobb - https://i.imgur.com/HWS3i7n.gif

Evilordexdeath - Honorary #16 - Pokmon Movie 05: Mizu no Miyako no Mamorigami Latias to Latios
I like the part where Latios tackles Pikachu but then makes up for it by licking him.

Actual #16 - Hellraiser The big takeaway I got out of this movie is that the God Hand from Berserk are clearly inspired by some of the cenobites. That comparison is not very favorable for Hellraiser in terms of narrative depth though. This was fine. I think my favorite part was when the lady was luring men into her attic to feed to her ghoul bf, there was an enjoyable sense of building tension in those parts, and a sense of inner conflict when the guy eventually told her to kill her husband. The cenobites are cool visually although in both this and Berserk I feel like the funny little glasses guy makes them slightly harder to take seriously. They definitely represent a much more hardcore section of the BDSM subculture than I can get into though.

Bitto - Rating: C

Frank really shows how evil humanity can be. He's just a scummy person all throughout and, unlike other entries on this list, I don't think the movie ever paints Frank in a sympathetic light at all. In that sense, he might be the most effective antagonist in this gauntlet. Unfortunately, no one else is really interesting. Julia is pretty bad. I get no sense why she's so into Frank. The one interesting thing she does is her line in the sand about Frank killing Larry, but that goes away by the end. The Cenobites have good scenes, but they...surprisingly don't do much until Frank is dead.

Lightning - We have such sights to show you!

Dark, mysterious and a little bit sexy, Hellraiser seeks to do what the subjects of the film do and combine all the pains and pleasures of the flesh (or in this case, gory horror with erotic thriller). It mostly succeeds at that, but stumbles a bit when it turns into effectively just a pure creature feature at the very end. The film also creates a genuinely unnerving atmosphere throughout, and it almost makes the whole film feel like something you shouldnt be watching but cant tear yourself away from.

This is probably the goriest film on the list, some of what happens here like the hooks going into somebodys skin is truly gnarly. There are some really unpleasant images too like the initial summoning. Yet the film also plays itself a little bit erotic. Here the film manifests the kind of dynamic its all about, that interplay between pleasure and pain. It also just provides a pretty intriguing set up, almost working as a sort of home invasion thriller rather than a supernatural horror film. The basic beats of the plot are actually relatively down to earth, a wifes ex-lover hides in a family home and attempts to replace the father. Only with a twist of interdimensional sex demons.

The Cenobites themselves are great creatures, its no wonder they became so iconic. I also didnt realise until watching that they are the clear inspiration for the God Hand from Berserk, one of the designs nearly feels lifted straight from here. Unfortunately the Cenobites also form the films big weakness of the last fifteen minutes, once they just become monsters chasing the lead through her house they lose their power. And frankly it felt like they went down a little too easily. The last act slightly spoils the film for me, I was really with it until then. Still, this is a unique horror movie that has a lot more on its mind than the typical schlockfest.

3/5

Inviso - I was not looking forward to this movie on the list, because even thought its iconic (specifically, Pinhead is iconic), Ive always heard less than pleasant things about the visuals. And in a way, thats truethe introduction of Pinhead and the Cenobites isgross. The monster designs in this movie certainly get the point across of testing the limits of my ability to hold my hurl. Plus, the movie both starts and ends with a pretty major gross-out kill scene (technically of the same guy both times, albeit different actors). But even then, its not the WORST thing Ive seen on this list thus far, and while I wouldnt want to watch it again, I was able to get through it.

The reason Im ranking this as low as I did is because of how fucking boring it is. The movie starts on a creepy scene, but then its just a lot of scenes of a British woman fantasizing about her dangerous brother-in-law until he gets resurrected from the Cenobites BDSM dimension, at which point she starts luring men to the house to blandly kill them with a hammer and feed them to Frank to help rejuvenate them. Meanwhile, her actual husband is likethe most milquetoast human being on the planet. He gets led around by Julia and doesnt realize that shes both cheating on him with his dead monster of a brother, and also murdering people. He doesnt realize this until he himself has been skinned and killed.

The problem is that the viewer KNOWS, perhaps due to the nature of Franks resurrectionor the opening scene, that theres more the movie is capable of then generic, bland serial killing. And it takes SO LONG to get that far, until skinless Frank tries to hit on his niece and she steals the demonic puzzle box. Kirsty solves the puzzle box and this is around the 80% mark, Id wager. This summons the Cenobites finally and they try to drag Kirsty to hell, but she sells out her uncle, who isnt supposed to have escaped from their torture. This leads to them being off-screen for another scene as theres more boring stuff with Kirsty and Julia/Frank (while Frank is wearing Larrys skin to fake being Kirstys dad)and its all just dull, with a frosting layer of gross when the Cenobites show up to kill Frank once and for all.

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I've decided to put my fears behind me. I'm not going back.
If you're gonna scream, scream with me
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