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15. Christine (1983 / 200 points)
Directed by: John Carpenter / Screenplay by: Bill Phillips
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Why Its Significant - Horror traditionally relies on monsters be they supernatural beings, slashers, or the undead. Christine takes a sharp turn, making the monstrous entity a car. While concepts like this had been tried in the past here and there, like in 1977s The Car or The Twilight Zone episode You Drive, Christine truly solidified the idea and gave it way more pathos than any piece of media really tried to in the past. Christine represents a twisted version of the car as a symbol of freedom & independence, and Arnie's relationship with Christine is undeniably obsessive. He prioritizes the car over everything his friends, family, and even his own safety. Christine is also indicative of one of the most prevalent undercurrents of the 80s - technology turning against us. Christine no doubt started a small wave of killer car movies, something Stephen King (though he actually doesnt enjoy this adaptation of his original book much) enjoys a lot in Maximum Overdrive & Trucks, to even films like Joy Ride, Rubber, or Jeepers Creepers taking some inspiration from it, to the trashiest of trash like Super Hybrid taking all the wrong cues. Christine is in talks for a remake from Bryan Fuller.

The Rankers
Bitto - 4
Rockus - 8
Inviso - 9
Johnbobb - 9
Plasmabeam - 9
Mythiot - 10
Seginustemple - 14
Evilordexdeath - 18
Karo - 18
Snake - 21
Fortybelowsummer - 26
Lightning - 26
Jcgamer107 - 28

Bitto - Rating: B+

Decent plot, amazing execution. The characters all feel real good in this, including Christine. I really love the characterization of Christine through 50s songs played on the radio. Arnie is especially fun to watch, because it really did feel like his life was being controlled and his decision to buy Christine is the one time Arnie acted for himself. Of course, it really transforms Arnie to the point where he's just unrecognizable. I love that scene where they're toasting and Arnie says "Cheers to all the shitters in the world dying!" and Dennis is just "Dude...how about toasting to friendship?" and Arnie is like "...Oh, yeah, friendship." The slasher-esque scenes with Christine really make the most of the fact that the villain is a car. And...I dunno, I just really was enthralled the whole time. Just a fun watch from beginning to end that was also strangely moving.

Rockus - Its that timeless story of boy falls in love with car, car falls in love with boy, cars demonic spirit permeates into boys psyche to infect him with its own toxic aura. You know, that old chestnut. Maybe its that these classic cars are just inherently cinematic but Ill be damned if this isnt one of the best shot horror films of the decade, maybe even in general. That shot of the car on fire stalking that guy like its Jason, perfection. The practical effects like that reverse footage shot of the car repairing itself, brilliant. Is just so much fun. Its kind of campy, kind of self-aware. Its a genuine classic, maybe a little underappreciated.

Inviso - Its weird to talk about this movie, because the human element in the form of Arnie as a kind of main character islacking. Were introduced to this nerdy little dweeb early on, and hes both a weirdo AND a bullying victim, and I get that were supposed to take his side because hes your standard nerd archetype who needs to get more self-confidence. And thats finebut I feel like once he gets his hands on Christine, he goes from nerdy loser to aggressive douchebag far too quickly to showcase the corruption Christine brings into his life. Plusthe human characters who wind up fighting Christine in the end feel like theyre far too detached from the plot to justify them being the heroes, BECAUSE Arnie is such a dickhead.

With all that being said though, the star of this fucking movie is Christine. From the first moment she appears on-screen in the assembly line, slamming her hood on a guy thats manhandling her, and then somehow murdering a guy off-screen for smoking inside her, shes fucking GREAT. Its almost funny; I watched this immediately after Sleepaway Camp, and going from Angelas creepy, dead-eyed stare to Christine just sitting there, menacingly, with the same kind of ice-cold frozen stareits great. The movie does an amazing job of somehow managing to anthropomorphize a vehicle to feel like a human serial killer. Halfway through the movie, I was just picturing this psychotic girlfriend protecting her man, rather than an animate car. Hell, that scene where Christine repairs herself in front of Arnie, complete with seductive musicit really sells Christine as like, seducing Arnie to the dark side. SHES his girl, not Leigh. Christine is the character that makes this movie and she sells this movie, and if John Carpenter hadnt nailed her characterization, this would not rank this high.

Johnbobb - This decade gave us Freddy, Jason, Predator, Beetlejuice, Chucky, Jack Torrance, The Thing... but the real horror icon? Christine all the way. The immortal self-repairing car that pretty cleverly capitalizes on the tendency of some people (men in particular) to personify their cars to a point bordering on obsession. I mean, just looking at the other teens boys on this list, how many of them had posters of cars just like Christine taped to their walls? Christine manages to have more personality than most horror movie serial killers without even having a face.

Plasmabeam - One of the rare early King books that I havent read. This adaptation was pretty solid, and I particularly loved the nerd/jock buddy duo. Really enjoyed seeing the nerd develop into a menace.

Seginustemple - Solid fun, I was hoping it would dig into the Ship of Theseus element of the car a little more. Love the opening w/ the Bad to the Bone needle drop, indicating the car is evil right off the assembly line. Then 20-30 years on this kid buys the car and starts fixing it up with scrap parts from a junkyard, to the point where the owner makes a crack about rebuilding the entire car with parts from his yard. So I end up wondering is it just an evil chassis, or is it the idea of 'Christine', the naming of the car that imbues it with a spirit? Besides that I enjoy the Rockwellesque Americana vibe and I find the basic story of a kid buying his first car and letting it dominate his personality very relatable - I bet most people knew a guy like that in high school.

Evilordexdeath - Believe it or not I wasn't really looking forward to seeing the adaptation of the Stephen King book about the yandere car. This movie turned out to be a lot less awful than it probably has any right to be, I suppose thanks to John Carpenter's solid direction. The trick is that it mostly doesn't focus on the sublimely idiotic premise. It really spends a lot of its runtime building up the characters and their relationships with one another and the core story is more about the mental degeneration of the main character than it is about the car. I'm not going to pretend it's a masterpiece of psychological horror or anything but I was pleasantly surprised that it wasn't totally unbearable.