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TopicBoard 8 Watches and Ranks 80s Horror - The Rankings
Snake5555555555
04/13/24 10:10:48 PM
#333:


Inviso - Before I forget, the ending credit scroll with Congratulations to Princess Diana and Prince Charles on their weddingdid not end well. Just wanted to throw that out there. But as for the movies content, I wanted to like it more than I did, but the pacing screwed everything up. You get the opening with two guys wandering around the countryside, sure. And then theres the werewolf attack, and then up until around the fifty-minute mark, its just foreshadowing. David has nightmares about being a wolf or a werewolf, but theres zero suspense thereobviously hes becoming a werewolf, and conveniently enough, he was in a coma for three weeks, so the movie doesnt have to waste a whole lot of plot time on waiting for the next full moon.

I guess the problem is that the movie is very slow until it suddenly becomes TOO fast. There are a lot of plodding scenes (like David dicking around Alexs apartment the whole day hes waiting for his first full moon), and then we get the cool werewolf transformation and subsequent kill scenes, and thats where the movie actually starts to get interesting. Unfortunately, the vast majority of the film is over by that point, so everything after that point feels rushed. But that last third or so is actually compelled. The aftermath of waking up naked in a wolf enclosure is funny (as is him stealing a ladies overcoat to cover up). The realization that hes a murderer and TRYING to do whats right (turning himself in to the police, who dont take him seriously; calling his family to say goodbye; TRYING to kill himself) is interesting.

And then we get the porno theater scene, which is hilariously camp. Just watching a badly-acted porno while chatting with your dead and decaying friend, as well as six other victims (including the most amazingly cheerful undead couple youll ever meet)its ACTUALLY amusing. And then he transforms again (which feels wrong, since shouldnt the full moon only happen once a month, not two nights in a row) and goes on another killing frenzy, which somehow leads to the cops getting involved, a decapitation, and a WAY over-the-top car crash sequence. Its all greatand then the ending happens, and its disappointing. I dont knowI think I knew David had to die, but then the ending is an anti-climax. They try to inject emotion by having Alex make an emotional plea, but that fails and David just gets shot. Even one last lingering scene of someoneANYONE carrying on the werewolf bloodline wouldve been better than David is shot and killed, end of movie. As a result, its another okay film that shouldve been better than it was.

Lightning - A naked American man stole my balloons.

This is without a doubt one of the most popular and influential horror comedies of all time, that set a new standard for werewolves, makeup, effects, and tone in horror movies. Watching through the list chronologically, this film felt like a real turning point for the genre, where the films truly started to feel of their moment. Unfortunately, that also makes it one of the most dated feeling films on the list.

Huge parts of this movie work. The setup is moody, funny, and effective all at once. The makeup and effects are truly stunning (this was the first recipient of the Best Makeup Oscar), especially in the big transformation sequence at the heart of the film. The chases we see in the last act are quite thrilling, and you do really root for David by the end despite knowing that he is doomed. Its all very entertaining, and keeping the werewolf aspects to the side until the transformation sequence most of the way through the film was an inspired choice.

Where the movie comes up short is the dated comedic aspects. These days a lot of the jokes no longer land, and being an 80s comedy of course it has some frankly weird sexual and gender politics to it. Also, Ive been to local pubs in the North of England and none of them are like that. The portrayal of London is okay but the portrayal of the North is stereotypical and frankly a bit offensive. In the version I watched at least there was a dedication at the end congratulating Charles and Diana on their wedding which about sums it up. This is still an entertaining watch but absolutely showing its age.

3/5

Karo - This two kids are vising backwater English villages for some reason and one gets turned into a werewolf, but there's a conspiracy to gaslight him into believing everything is all right because these country hicks are apparently the Illuminati and so nobody asks any questions about the giant claw marks across his chest or anything.

His 'friend' shows up as ghost to warn him, but then almost immediately jumps right to a suggestion of suicide right off the bat so fuck that guy.

What follows is standard werewolf fare, and although the transformation scene is impressive for pre-cgi era there is nothing really remarkable about the story. The serious and comedic elements are fused poorly and just feel incredibly off, like at the end where we go straight from the shot of the grieving girlfriend right into bow chicka wow bop a dop doo wop a bang dang a ding dong. This is really what you want the audience to take out of the theater? For fucks sake.

The characters all feel weird and unbelievable, none moreso then than the incredibly thirsty nurse who shows zero concern that the random guy she invited into her house is hearing voices in his head and claims to have just been bitten by a monster.

It's not really scary, nor is it really funny. It really needed to pick a lane rather than smashing though every traffic cone on the center divide and leaving us with a movie that is not only half cooked, but is completely bloody raw.

Seginustemple - Ayy, its the transformation sequence from all the monster movie highlight reels! It really is quite a spectacle. Rick Baker's effects still hold up. Overall, I was lukewarm on this one. David Naughton is a charming lead and there's some decent pathos in his story, but I'm not into the comedic correspondence with undead Griffin Dunne. I really bought into their rapport in that first scene when they're alive/human, but everything after the death has a certain type of corny self-aware goofiness that just doesn't work for me, even if the corpse makeup is excellent. The romance with the nurse is saucy though, esp. the makeout scene with the Van Morrison song. I do love that you can tell this is by the same creative team that made the Thriller video, it has that same tone throughout.

Fortybelowsummer - There are some things to like about Werewolf. The beginning sets an ominous tone in a setting that lends well to a sense of dread. It sprinkles in some funny moments, and the characters, particularly the main, are enjoyable enough to watch. The makeup is really good (academy award winning in fact!) and, of course, the transformation scene is legendary and still fascinating to watch. However, most of the first hour is slow and boring and even when David does transform, his rampages are underwhelming. I assume the close-up shots of the wolf face were done out of necessity to avoid the logistical problems of a full wolf body, but I didnt care for them. Aside from some pretty decent post-mauling gore, the attacks werent as terrifying as they could be. And then theres the ending, which is unforgivably inconsequential. I was actually pissed off that he went on an anticlimactic killing spree, got backed into a dead-end alley, had a half assed I love you moment, and then went down helplessly in a hail of gunfire. I respect how important Werewolf is in the genre but its just too flawed for me.

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I've decided to put my fears behind me. I'm not going back.
If you're gonna scream, scream with me
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