LogFAQs > #964389868

pyresword posted...

I've been just casually following this topic without having seen any of the Fantastic Beasts movies and excuse me what?

Dumbledore's secret nephew Aurelius is an illegitimate half-muggle love child his family was ashamed of, so his grandmother (Dumbledore's mother) sailed to the United States with him as a baby on the Titanic instead of apparating, so when the ship started to sink, an unrelated daughter of a rapist mind control wizard switched him out with her half brother, who was also a baby (whose mother was consensual), because she was annoyed at how much her brother cried. The rapist father wizard didn't care about his daughter, but he did love the son, and he was afraid that the daughter's mother's other son (not born by rape) would be angry at his mother being mind controlled raped and would take revenge on the baby instead of the rapist, so he sent the son he loved across the sea to be raised in an orphanage by a muggle who hates magic instead of using vast resources as a nobleman wizard to protect him. By coincidence, both babies were magic. Dumbledore's mother thought that her grandson was still on the Titanic instead of a lifeboat with the rape daughter, and tried to swim down and rescue him instead of using magic, so she died. The rape daughter then handed off the baby (pretending it was her brother) to a French half-elf who'd served the mother, and thus had to continue serving her mind control rapist after she died in childbirth, and delivered him to the orphanage. He was then raised as a muggle who didn't know how to control his magic, which led him to survive exploding, invent goth fashion, join the alt right, kill Bambi's mother, and meet an Indonesian woman at a magic circus who was cursed to turn into a snake and would later become Voldemort's pet.

All of this is 100% canon, by the way, I added nothing.