LogFAQs > #952104803

pjbasis posted...

I can see this about you, but just because you're like this doesn't mean you can hold other people to it. Sometimes the bad does outweigh the good. You need to work on understanding the faults of your partner better too. Trust isn't real if you're ignoring the warning signs to do it. I believe that true faith comes from a deep understanding about the shadows in others too.

I'm not holding her to it. In fact, I am fully aware she is someone who looks for the bad in everything. She will nitpick anything until she finds something to complain about. She is always a victim and always wronged. Which, I mean, sometimes she probably is... but it makes it hard to sort what is a valid and not valid concern.

But, despite this, I kind of accepted that just is who she is and continued to pour everything into the relationship, from all angles. And, I feel like the moment someone got stimulus checks and a tax return they immediately bolted, after knowing the other person just poured all of theirs into the family completely.

I mean, this is trust shattering to me.

I think I told someone before a lot of the relationship has been difficult because it has always felt like I always had a knife at my back at all times. I became accustomed to that knife being there and never being driven in. So, while many will be like, saw that coming! Sure. I mean, I saw the smoke too. It was just something that just became accepted as normal at that point for whatever reasons made sense to her. Maybe it is what made her feel comfortable. I don't know. But, I never expected it to be really driven in either based on the past. So, it still hurts.

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