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TopicAnagram Ranks 145 Waifus
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01/06/21 4:12:12 PM
#1:


There will be unmarked spoilers ahead for the series of any waifu in question. I will only include spoilers from that waifu's series in her write-up, so if you see a waifu from a series you want to experience later, you can just abort when you see her name.

It's finally time for all of your favorite waifus, and all of your favorite obscure joke nominations, to be unfairly judged by someone familiar with like 50% of them, tops. Waifus will be judged by taking the average of three categories, labeled Waifu Vectors. Using this extremely scientific method, we can finally settle once and for all what Board 8's best waifu is. I should warn you, however, that this method of analysis means that the majority of waifus have scores in the 40-70 range, and only a very few are at the extremes. Let me be clear: this 1-100 scale is not meant to map to a letter grading system. Waifus with scores of 70+ would be 8/10 at the least in a normal system, and waifus with 77+ are like 9/10s or even 10/10s.
  • Attractiveness: The simplest vector, this determines how physically attractive a waifu is. Little warning, I do account for the visual style of the series, so a waifu from a series with really ugly art is going to suffer for it.
  • Personality: This vector determines how non-evil the waifu is, how good she is at conversation, etc.
  • Girlfriendness: This vector is to determine what being in a relationship with the waifu would actually be like. Waifus with an actual job have a huge advantage over waifus who are like adventurers or something.
I'm not gonna lie to you guys: I've done research for waifus whose series I don't know, but waifus I already knew had a nontrivial advantage in every category except looks.

The full list of waifu nominations can be found here.
https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1_hmACUjrmkaCqVMpgVQymzYH_ra__psryHWHa6kC-WA/edit?usp=sharing

I told all of this to you in the nominations topic... What I didn't tell you is that I was also secretly tallying the physical attributes of nominated waifus. Using these numbers, we can finally determine what kinds of waifus Board 8 prefers!

Medium
Video Game: 84
Anime/Manga: 38
Cartoon: 9
Comic: 3
Film: 3
Television: 3
Card Game: 2
Advertisement: 1
Analysis: No surprises here, Board 8 loves its video games and weeaboo pictures.

Reality
Not Live-Action: 140
Live-Action: 5
Analysis: Poor live-action waifus are clearly underappreciated. And one of them is Mothra, which is really pushing the definition of live-action.

Age
<15: 10
15-19: 62
20-29: 58
30-39: 5
40-49: 2
50-59: 1
Unclear: 5
Analysis: Almost exactly half of the nominated waifus are underage... something you want to tell me, Board 8? By the way, if a waifu didn't have an official age, I just guessed. Immortal waifus were counted as the age they appear, so if your waifu is a thousand years old but looks sixteen, that's what I counted her as.

Race / Species
Human:
White: 61
Asian: 58
Latino: 3
Arab: 2
Indian: 1
White or Asian depending on localization: 2
Analysis: More like racistfaqs, am I right? Just to be clear, if you have an ambiguous anime ethnicity but have a Japanese name, then I counted you as Asian for list purposes. I also counted things that aren't human but still look human as being human except for pokemon, which I counted as furries.

Nonhuman:
Furry: 9
Animal: 2
Alien: 1
Vegetation: 1
Eldritch Monster: 1
Robot: 1
Unclear: 1
Analysis: I was surprised by how many furry nominations we got.

Eyes
Blue: 43
Brown: 27
Green: 22
Red: 11
Black: 9
Yellow: 9
Purple: 8
Gray: 5
Pink: 3
Heterochromia: 1
White: 1
Unclear: 1
Analysis: Not much to take away from this. except that red and yellow eyes show up much more often than I expected.

Hair
Blonde: 26
Red: 24
Brown: 22
Black: 19
Purple: 12
Blue: 7
Green: 7
Pink: 6
White: 6
None: 3
Silver: 3
Yellow: 2
Gray: 1
Unclear: 1
Analysis: It is shocking how common red hair is in fiction relative to reality. If you were an alien whose only exposure to Earth is stuff we beamed into space, you'd think redheads are at least 20% of the planet.

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The actual ranking of waifus will begin whenever I feel like it, probably later today.

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Not changing this sig until I decide to change this sig.
Started: July 6, 2005
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