So I'm posting it here in cased anyone else wanted to weigh in. The mod was "offended" by my topics subject, so I won't mention it here.
While the poll response has me feeling a bit awful, I'm glad to see the majority that have actually posted on topic don't see it as being dishonest.
I haven't had much luck in dating(100% failure, to be honest), and it's difficult for me to connect with people. But when I'm talking to people socially, whether alone or in a group, and sex comes up I don't know how to hide my uncomfortableness(not a word?). I used to worry that people noticed me suddenly dropping out of the conversation. I mean, people seem rather open about discussing those sex these days it seems. I usually say "I'm not the dating kind of guy" at first, but if people really push I end up telling them I'm a virgin.
Then obviously the flood of questions come about why I'm a virgin at my age. I really don't want to get into it all the time. The thing is, I guess I hate not being normal. And even if I felt comfortable saying I was molested as a kid, I don't exactly want to bring the conversation to a screeching halt. I'm not trying to ruin people's good time by getting too real. Which makes me want to socialize even less due to the fear that I have no reason to really even have. It's not like this comes up every conversation. Or even most of the time. But it has happened, and it has been the cause of much consternation on my psyche.
The thing is, I'm not a young man. But I'm not old yet. I'm in my mid 30s, and I am not giving up, but try as I might, I feel like I don't have the tools to socialize as well as I'd like in the real world. I look normal, and I can talk to people, just not about anything sexual or romantic. As long as conversation stay very surface, then I'm fine. But that's kept me from getting closer with anyone on a real level.
I've only mentioned this on CE one other time. But I felt the need to talk about this now because I've been crawling out of my skin for the entire week and it's caused me to lash out with some inappropriate topics just looking to rile people up. And I've calmed down a bit, but some of the frustration is still there. I feel like I understand just a bit why some people troll, now.
I'd like to apologize if I bothered anyone with my stupidity over the last three days.
