But seriously game, WHAT THE F***?
I'm currently in Ryker's Island trying to break out Tinkerer now. I go forward and a bunch of guards come out to start shooting me. So now I need to beat the hell out of innocent guards for doing their jobs. God damnit this game. I find a switch to click on it. And this switch... OPENS UP A CELL TO UNLEASH RHINO!? WHAT THE HELL GAME!? ARE YOU SERIOUS!? WHY WOULD SPIDER-MAN DO THIS!? WHAT THE HELL!? WHY!? Even worse? UNLEASHING RHINO WAS A PART OF SPIDER-MAN'S PLAN FROM THE START! WHAT THE HELL GAME!? I have to press Y to ride Rhino, who is willingly working with me apparently, since I have the option to ride him and speed up and slow down and he doesn't give a f*** that I am doing this.
And now I try riding him and for some reason, I get knocked off of him. And then what happens? He is running into a corner for infinite. Enemies are shooting at me. Rhino is running into a corner. I can't ride him again or do anything to make him stop. Holy s***, this f***ing buggy ass game. I let myself die just so I can try again.
So now I'm trying to figure out what I need to do. Rhino just kind of beats up guys if you leave him alone. You can only mount him half the time. And you have no idea what to even do with him aside from busting down a wall. Which doesn't work until you find the right wall. Even though the wall with a door says "PRESS X to interact!" and then why you press X, it tells you "YOU MUST BE BIGGER TO INTERACT WITH THIS OBJECT". So, what? If I'm riding Rhino I'm bigger? Nope. It makes the door bust in, but I can't do anything with it. Finally, I find the right little barricade that I need to go through. This alerts more troops and shows a cutscene of a guy glitching up and trying to pull out his rifle endlessly. You know the f***ed up part about this? I didn't need Rhino to bust through there. I could've just web zipped over to that area. Oh my god, this game.
I press another switch and it opens a door, in which I could just go over it with web zipping, and it shows that these guards are all placing mines to stop me. ...Whyyyyyy...? Eventually, I figure out that you need to bring Rhino through all these areas. It doesn't tell you until later though. But the thing is that the more Rhino gets shot at, the more he throws you off. So since the enemies keep respawning and coming out and shooting at Rhino, this is extremely frustrating. And it continues to be frustrating because I can't even get Rhino active enough to destroy the enemy spawn points. Eventually, I destroy the generators I need and a path opens into the prison. I charge through with Rhino and he says he wants to escape. I get another good or bad choice... I guess. It involves pressing a button. The good decision is to tell Rhino to run back to the front area of the prison to escape. ...What? This game.
Spider-Man finds Tinkerer, who looks... very Tinkerer-like in a prison suit. Good lord, wow. When Spider-Man gets Tinkerer topside, suddenly Vulture arrives and says to give Tinkerer to him. And then Moon Knight says that Tinkerer goes with him. And then Black Widow walks up with SHIELD agents and says that Tinkerer is under SHIELD custody and that Spider-Man has committed so many felonies today. Then Kingpin walks up with his men and says that he'll take Tinkerer elsewhere.
HOLY S*** THIS GAME WHY ARE ALL OF THESE PEOPLE HERE SUDDENLY?
The end result of this clusterf*** is that SHIELD is taking Tinkerer to Stark Industries so he can work on what he needs to. Meanwhile, SHIELD is blowing up the bridges to the city to keep people from escaping with the symbiotes. A few bad jokes later, Black Widow is working with Spider-Man.
God f***ing damnit. This game. I'm going to keep playing.
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Xbox GT: PrivateBiscuit1
Down with Zhang. Let there be Biscuit!