Manual Topics > Luster Soldier: EXPOSED. An Icehawk production.

(+) Yeah! (+)

It Begins...
One day I am randomly uhh doing Icehawk stuff, when I get this IM...\

I have decided to just put Luster's screenname and not his AIM name for the convos.

Luster Soldier (2:46:31 AM): Hey, this is Luster Soldier. Damn you, you gave me a ***** because of your one topic on Board 8 about Smurf sleeping with CrimsonOcean. In other words, good job on that topic because it was entertaining to read.
Icehawk9902 (3:25:29 AM): I see.
Icehawk9902 (3:25:38 AM): Uhh your welcome, hahaha.

Luster then continued, seeming to believe that Smurf and Crimson actually slept together.

Luster Soldier (3:31:09 AM): For that question, I'm not sure. However, what Smurf did is something that I would be interested in doing, but not with CrimsonOcean obviously.
Icehawk9902 (3:31:25 AM): With who then?
Luster Soldier (3:32:09 AM): I have someone in mind, although I'm not sure if I really want to reveal it.
Icehawk9902 (3:32:30 AM): pikaness?
Luster Soldier (3:32:46 AM): Correct, it was pikaness.

After I find out Luster hasn't seen pika's pic. He goes off on a tangent, talking of how Clover would be a good option...

Luster Soldier (3:37:13 AM): If I don't get a chance to sleep with pikaness, Clover_Meadow is another possible choice for me.
Icehawk9902 (3:37:28 AM): Clover_Meadow posted pics once I believe.
Luster Soldier (3:38:41 AM): Did you get to see the pictures of her?
Icehawk9902 (3:38:45 AM): Yes.
Icehawk9902 (3:39:13 AM): She is what I would call absolutely "babeilicious"

I say it's not because jaylv100 goes to the same school, and thus, would probably get with her first! (lol). Then things started getting a bit more creepy.

Icehawk9902 (3:40:32 AM): Do you live near pikaness?
Luster Soldier(3:41:32 AM): As for pikaness, things aren't too good for me, but it's not completely impossible. I'm in the EST timezone, in which I live in Pennsylvania. pikaness lives up in Canada, in a city called *************.

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hay guyz iv ben havng tuff times lately so be niec to me lol : )

Apparently, he got the info by getting into a private board of some sort, owned by Math Murderer on a different users account. A certain person, who I won't name, listed pikaness's city in a topic there about Luster Soldier. Luster found it in this way. He also somehow knew her exact birthday, and how many days she was from 18 >_>. Next I talked to him about some AIM convos posted on this private board.

Icehawk9902 (3:54:25 AM): What do you talk about in these AIM convos?
Luster Soldier (3:55:23 AM): Well, I do believe I have told this to too many people now, but if I tell you this, it cannot be told to anyone else.
Icehawk9902 (3:55:33 AM): Alright.
Luster Soldier (3:56:29 AM): Well, in some of these convos, I talked about marrying pikaness. Sounds crazy, but I had this really detailed plan that might make it work. I never revealed the full detailed plan in these convos

From there I find out more about his "plan" he has an inside source!

Luster Soldier (3:57:42 AM): It is complicated, and I do have the help of an unnamed user in trying to help me meet up with pikaness to pull it off.
Icehawk9902 (3:57:57 AM): Oh, thats cool. Does he live near you or pikaness?
Icehawk9902 (3:58:03 AM): I imagine it'd have to be one or the other.
Luster Soldier(3:58:40 AM): He lives closer to pikaness, but still in the same timezone as me. He knows pikaness better than I do, which is a big help.

The conversation continues...

Icehawk9902 (4:05:34 AM): Do you talk to pikaness often on AIM?
Luster Soldier (4:05:53 AM): I've talked to her a couple of times.

...

Icehawk9902 (4:13:45 AM): Hmm, why do you want tomarry a GameFAQer?
Luster Soldier (4:17:00 AM): I could answer that one easily. I feel that if I simply marry some girl that I meet in real life, and not through making plans to meet by talking about it online, I might have some problems in trying to convince my wife into getting a GameFAQs account. Also, I know I am out of the running to become a moderator, so at least one of my kids (when they turn 13) could become a moderator
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hay guyz iv ben havng tuff times lately so be niec to me lol : )

Luster Soldier (4:22:12 AM): Don't worry, I'm already aware of that problem. Since I know the ToU pretty well, I probably could teach my kids about the ToU even before they make their first account. And at least they have someone whose father (which is me) has been in plenty of horrible happenings on GameFAQs, like being axed for vote stuffing.
Icehawk9902 (4:23:33 AM): Also, you could have them join ahead of time.
Icehawk9902 (4:23:39 AM): To gain some experience early on.
Luster Soldier (4:24:40 AM): I could probably allow them to get an account before they turn 13, but they cannot reveal their age. As long as you don't reveal your age, you cannot be banned for underage

So, I was a bit weirded out. I contemplated what I should do with my info, and then, I get IMed again a few days later.

Part 2!!

Luster Soldier (8:16:52 PM): I noticed that you are usually set to Away status a lot on AIM. These are the current candidates: pikaness, Clover_Meadow, CrimsonOcean, Inviso, and the mysterious 5th candidate. Inviso will be the hardest one to marry out of all of them. I'm not going to say who the 5th person is, which is why I am referring to her as the "mysterious 5th candidate". The mysterious 5th candidate is a last resort if I fail at the other 4.

(Note: I never did find out the 5th guy ERR GIRL >_>)

Icehawk9902 (11:12:45 PM): So, do you know much about those 4?
Icehawk9902 (11:12:50 PM): like where they live and such
Luster Soldier (11:13:44 PM): I know some stuff about them. I know where pikaness lives, down to the exact city. I only know which state Inviso lives in. For the other two, I don't know what state they live in. I do know CrimsonOcean is in EST though.

I actually know where Crimson lives (state anyway) but I guess Luster was too busy looking for pikaness posts to bother seeing it >_>. Anyway, later on Luster let me in on his plan to marry pikaness.
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BOOBIES

[This message was deleted at the request of the original poster]

I thought he was marrying me!
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SHINE. The Cream of Mega Man Fanboyism.
http://www.board8wiki.com/SHINE_GET_64

This will be a way of finding out if she would be interested in meeting up in real life, but without clearly telling her that I would be interested her in meeting her and getting into a relationship.
Icehawk9902 (11:57:46 PM): That sounds smart, but make sure it isnt out of the blue or else she will suspect something
Luster Soldier (11:58:01 PM): I know AKJ asked her a question like that, but it was about an online relationship though.
Luster Soldier (12:00:27AM): http://boards.gamefaqs.com/gfaqs/detail.php?board=8&topic=34323553&message=377046981

.......

Luster Soldier (12:04:08 AM): Here are the other candidates and any plans I have to obtain more info on them:

Clover_Meadow: She has an email in her profile and also has AIM, but I haven't seen her on AIM at all.
CrimsonOcean: I see an AIM screen name in her profile, but I rarely ever see her on. I don't know her email.
Inviso: I know her AIM screen name, despite it not being listed in her user profile. However, it's a closed list. I also don't know her email.
Luster Soldier (12:04:54 AM): For the mysterious 5th candidate, I know her AIM screen name and even talk to her pretty often.

The rest of the conversation is me trying to find out who his inside source is, finding out his inside source was mostly joking and sarcastic, yet Luster really believes the guy is gonna help him hook up with pikaness. I won't even bother revealing his name, however, another guy seemed to be trying to help out Luster. It was stingers. I'm still curious as to what his plans were, but I guess now, they'll never come to fruition.

Luster, I hope when you see this, and when you see the most likely creeped out reactions, you decide to start going for girls IRL. That is all.
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BOOBIES

aw man if luster comes and terrorizes my city to find pikaness i'll just take a giant magnet to his head

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d

http://img404.imageshack.us/img404/3798/dramallamaavy1yzym0.jpg
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SmartMuffin - Because anything less.... would be uncivilized!
http://img172.imageshack.us/img172/1125/barkleyvk6.jpg

My mind has been blown.
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POWEEEEEEEEER SUUUUUUUURGE!!

Is this....for real?
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Now in portable form!

I might have some problems in trying to convince my wife into getting a GameFAQs account. Also, I know I am out of the running to become a moderator, so at least one of my kids (when they turn 13) could become a moderator

That's the weirdest thing ever.

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d

[This message was deleted at the request of the original poster]

I'm not nearly imaginative enough to make this up >_>.
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BOOBIES

Really, who has plans to train their kid from birth to take a thankless volunteer position on a video game message board site >_<

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d

you need a beer for that...
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Esther Baxter > Your Favorite Model.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V94ScrtMIP8

Hem.

Um...yeah.

Wow.
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The Dragon shall be Reborn, and he shall break the world again by his coming.
http://i36.photobucket.com/albums/e12/DSRage/ShadowRising7logo.jpg

Heeheehee!
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qfCok uFuab?S?F!?$QgMlCassieIsAmazingjhsux~>[64T2
jampXDpikaness is awesome!8forga

post 4 now censored lol

Luster Soldier (11:15:58 PM): I do have a plan, and it's pretty detailed actually.
Icehawk9902 (11:17:18 PM): Mind if I hear? I can tell you if I think it'll work
Luster Soldier (11:43:58 PM):
1. For the next 1 1/2 years, I plan on trying to know more about pikaness, either through AIM or her posts on the boards. At least by waiting this long, I am giving pikaness a lot of time to feel comfortable with meeting me in real life.
2. When I am ready, the unnamed user that knows pikaness (and also is much closer to pikaness as a friend) better than me will contact pikaness on AIM about me. He won't tell pikaness that I am interested in marrying her. More than likely, he will tell pikaness that I am interested in meeting her in real life for the purpose of getting into a relationship (boyfriend/girlfriend relationship) with her.
Luster Soldier (11:44:05 PM):
3. When I travel up to pikaness's location, I will have to come up with some way of keeping my parents from finding out. I don't think they would like me trying to marry someone that I met online, even though I have no evil intentions. Traveling up there without my parents suspecting this plan will involve me coming out and saying that I am going to take a vacation up to ******* because of a tourist attraction. Of course, I'll still go to the tourist attraction because if I come back home, I'd probably have to tell about my experience there.
Luster Soldier(11:44:09 PM):
4. When I am up in ***********, I will have a discussion with pikaness about having her move to the United States. If she decides to move to the United States, step 5 of the plan goes into effect.
5. I will remain in this relationship for at least a year before I make any attempt to ask pikaness to marry. This 1 year time person offers quite a good amount of time for pikaness to know me better before she decides if she wants to marry me.

.....

Luster Soldier (11:56:27 PM): I think when I am ready to ask pikaness, I will initally ask her a question, which will probably be worded as "Have you have considered getting into a relationship with another GameFAQs user?"
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hay guyz iv ben havng tuff times lately so be niec to me lol : )

Haha, breeding to make THE ULTIMATE GAMEFAQS USER

"These are the current candidates: pikaness, Clover_Meadow, CrimsonOcean, Inviso, and the mysterious 5th candidate. Inviso will be the hardest one to marry out of all of them. I'm not going to say who the 5th person is, which is why I am referring to her as the "mysterious 5th candidate". The mysterious 5th candidate is a last resort if I fail at the other 4."

1. watch out satai
2. I like how he just says "yeah I'm gonna try and marry one of these chicks who I barely know. I have a plan, don't worry, it can't fail."

even better is in his actual plan:
"4. When I am up in ***********, I will have a discussion with pikaness about having her move to the United States. If she decides to move to the United States, step 5 of the plan goes into effect."

oh hay pikaness wanna move country to spend your life with me so we can have moderator babies?
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[King of Board 8][no u cru]
Steinershocker - Coming 2nd place since 1989

I felt good knowing about the first part before just about anyone else did (Steiner showed me last night), but I never expected you to have progressed from there so quickly. Bravo.

And now to actually read the second part!
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I am the Milkman. My milk is delicious.
Owned by Rufus Shinra, the official SC2k6 Guru Champion

more like watch out myc !!

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d

the best part of this will still be that dudes reaction when he realizes you posted this on the board

Second part wasn't as mindblowing as the first but after reading the first bit I kind of never wanted to go on the internet again so that's fair enough.
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I am the Milkman. My milk is delicious.
Owned by Rufus Shinra, the official SC2k6 Guru Champion

YOU CAN'T BE SUSPENDED JOHNNY, YOU WERE THE CHOSEN ONE

~Shake
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www.freewebs.com/gamefaqsmercenaries
www.freewebs.com/boxingcyoa

Giggs- There wasnt much more to find out his secret source. Who was just toying with him really >_>. SSo that was sorta disappointing, but I dunno, his plan to marry pikaness is pretty neat.

YOU CAN'T BE SUSPENDED JOHNNY, YOU WERE THE CHOSEN ONE

Oh god XD.
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BOOBIES

aw man if he ends up coming to my university just to be in the same city as pikaness i'm gonna have to run for my life every time i see the chuggernaut :(

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d

XD
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[King of Board 8][no u cru]
Steinershocker - Coming 2nd place since 1989

Wow. AKJ did say that Luster's love for pika was kinda creepy and this proves it! I wonder how pika will react...
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Nominate the Raving Rabbids for the Quote Contest! DAAAAAAAAAAAA!
Gamma. The Cream of Ratchet and Clank Fanboyism.

Whoa

Icehawk investigates! Good job. >_>

*Explodes*
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Moo
"I can't see there's an oliphaunt in the way" - foolmo

holy xd
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AKJ. The Cream of Super Robot Wars fanboyism.
Good luck with Muk and its poison gas, make one wrong move and it'll kick your grass.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>XD
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"We all have our little faults. Mine's in California." - Lex Luthor

This makes TUM look normal >_>
~_~
Warning_Crazy
Love Many, Trust Few, Do Wrong to None- Yau Man, Survivor: Fiji

^Almost.
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Nominate the Raving Rabbids for the Quote Contest! DAAAAAAAAAAAA!
Gamma. The Cream of Ratchet and Clank Fanboyism.

What'd TUM do?

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d

TUM at least respects her, and knows he can't have her.
~_~
Warning_Crazy
Love Many, Trust Few, Do Wrong to None- Yau Man, Survivor: Fiji

Nothing. TUM is just a little pika-crazy!
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Nominate the Raving Rabbids for the Quote Contest! DAAAAAAAAAAAA!
Gamma. The Cream of Ratchet and Clank Fanboyism.

0_________0

I...I dont even know who this guy is!
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Do you have the time to listen to me whine?
http://network.bestfriends.org/data/blogs/1637590512061658.jpg

I want to believe that he was joking. Please tell me that he was joking.
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lol, signature

That's not scary at all... *runs*
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Actions speak louder than words, but words speak louder than mime.

[This message was deleted at the request of a moderator or administrator]

I...I dont even know who this guy is!

Uh... he chugs mountain dew so that he can get hyped up enough to increase his hold on having the most active messages posted on gamefaqs, he cried when he got usermap axed for vote-stuffing (he once had the most alternate accounts on gamefaqs!), and he wants to breed moderator babies with you. Do you really need anything else before just hopping under the sheets with him!?

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d

...pikaness is a female?

My mind is blown.
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GameFAQs: People that have no lives must always have a place to loiter.

From Not Dave Posted 4/8/2007 5:32:19 PM
I...I dont even know who this guy is!

Uh... he chugs mountain dew so that he can get hyped up enough to increase his hold on having the most active messages posted on gamefaqs, he cried when he got usermap axed for vote-stuffing (he once had the most alternate accounts on gamefaqs!), and he wants to breed moderator babies with you. Do you really need anything else before just hopping under the sheets with him!?

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d

this really sums up how absurd this guy is
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[King of Board 8][no u cru]
Steinershocker - Coming 2nd place since 1989

D_D

Wow this board just grows on the freakishly wacky scale by the day. Unless Icehawk made that whole thing up, which would also be funny. xD
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Do you have the time to listen to me whine?
http://network.bestfriends.org/data/blogs/1637590512061658.jpg

Basically!

*Explodes*
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Moo
"I can't see there's an oliphaunt in the way" - foolmo

My last post referring to Steiner's post.

*Explodes*
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Moo
"I can't see there's an oliphaunt in the way" - foolmo

I made nothing up, even the babeilicious line, lol >_>.
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BOOBIES

it isn't made up, I can guarantee that. He's told me a lot of this stuff before too.
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AKJ. The Cream of Super Robot Wars fanboyism.
Good luck with Muk and its poison gas, make one wrong move and it'll kick your grass.

^Hence my post.


I think I need a marshmallow after reading all of this. *Heads to pantry*
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Nominate the Raving Rabbids for the Quote Contest! DAAAAAAAAAAAA!
Gamma. The Cream of Ratchet and Clank Fanboyism.