Lurker > KujikawaRising

Still waiting on that unblock, Suprak.

But yeah, let's just move on. No real use in pointless arguments over a silly game. I'm sorry for escalating anything - I was very frustrated too that night, and I hope you can understand. I will leave it at that. :)

Yeah, I just need to figure out how to have a greater support system. I feel like I'm in this bubble where everyone outside of it doesn't want to give me the time of day.

I do apologize for my need to delete those posts. I was not in a good place and didn't want to see that reminder. While it wasn't a meltdown, I was not thinking straight and fully admit it. I am sorry, and if I ever do play again when I'm in a better place, I promise I don't go on a deleting spree. I understand now just what it is I did and feel guilty for it. The intent was not to sabotage the game at all.

Still don't appreciate Suprak's conniption. That went a little too far.

ScareChan posted...

Saying we can't allow people to play the game that have shown it's not a healthy thing for them should essentially be named the Crescent Rule. You have no right to say anything concerning this

Just with me, I'd prefer a host asking me politely, like "Are you sure this is healthy for you?" instead of telling me I can't play. I remember when I hosted Survivor ORGs that there was a guy who had a suicidal meltdown in the first round and I asked him if he really wanted to be in the game or if I should replace him. He played and ended up being fine. IIRC he appreciated my approach as opposed to other players saying I should tell him he should quit.

ScareChan posted...

yeah BCT's self removal is nice and all, but hosts need to know not to let him play if he does again. It's not a healthy game for him to play and he needs to step away away

Yeah tbh I think I'd appreciate any host asking me "Are you sure you want to play? You know what tends to happen." and dissuade me. No offense taken to this - it's just not good for my mental health and I get too wrapped up in my own messy head. The modkill was frustrating and certainly not good for my sanity, and I'm amazed I held it together as well as I did without doing anything to ruin the game (even though I had been informed who the scum were).

I own I'm not the most stable person in the world due to a lack of a support system. And for someone who's as lost and confused as I am.

ScareChan posted...

Also saying you needed to not look at them for your mental state is pretty silly when you're actively posting on an alt as we speak.

I am at peace with everything now.

Obellisk posted...

Own your mistakes. You didn't read the rules.

I did read the rules, but didn't remember everything because there were so many.

I'm blaming Suprak for spreading misinformation. Because he did. He was accusing me of trying to sabotage the game, which was wholly untrue.

...what? Suprak was the one who pitched a conniption, not me. I tried to talk him out of modkilling me but I managed to calm myself down after it happened pretty quickly. Seeing it in my AMP started making my blood boil, so I had to rectify it. Seeing Suprak's completely unnecessary rant telling everyone that they're not allowed to be friends with me was pretty hurtful.

changmas posted...

just take a break man it's not that serious

The game isn't. Suprak's lies, however...

P.S. Thanks, scum, for letting me stick around during D1. I legit didn't remember that rule because there were so many.

Have to use an alt because the host blocked me. For shame.

Suprak: I find the fact that you spread lies about me and pitched a massive hissy fit to be completely unprofessional and unacceptable. All I did was distance myself from a situation that was angering me to avoid any drama. Drama that you then caused anyway by posting a wall of lies to turn people against me. I apologize for the necessity to delete those posts - but for my own mental state, I needed that out of my post history. That part is on me, and I'm sorry if any players were inconvenienced by me doing that.

I did not have fun this game. Having so many rules to remember/dance around makes for a less engaging experience. Keeping it simple and giving people a little leeway makes players enjoy themselves more. There was also the thing about MI and Corrik having conflicting PMs about both getting their roles first. Based on that plus Corrik's argument that MI was essentially a more powerful combination of my role and that of his fake town variant, I made the move that I did. You really should do better to stamp out those contradictions if you don't want people to "meta" this stuff.

Like I have said, I don't intend on playing again, at least not for a good while. Mafia is simply not for me because it's too stressful and emotionally draining, particularly when I'm in a rut. This rut was worsened by the fact that the fucking host chose to bully me when I was in such a state and needed to get away.

BCT out!

No tantrums here. I simply distanced myself from a messy situation to avoid such a thing, and that involved clearing this topic and the last one from my post history. That is all I did. I'm sorry I didn't actually throw a tantrum and try to ruin the game like you for some reason expected me to. You know I'm better than that. Do better, Suprak.

I'm out, and I don't plan on playing again. I've realized Mafia is not healthy for me, and I'm at peace with that.

This post will self-destruct in 5 minutes to allow for it to be uploaded to you-know-where.