Lurker > MrMelodramatic

Ogurisama posted...

I havent had any problems

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Proud to be EPic
Texas Aggie, Class of 2018 A-Whoop!

I'm feeling ten beers and three shots of tequila might be my plans for tonight.
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Proud to be EPic
Texas Aggie, Class of 2018 A-Whoop!

Uhhh not really. I have some potders as friends on Facebook and Snapchat, and follow some on instagram, but at most I'll like their status and pictures or view their stories. I hardly ever talk to them outside of PotD (though I'm not against it or anything. I'm just a boring guy with nothing to say).
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Proud to be EPic
Texas Aggie, Class of 2018 A-Whoop!

alrighty. well. Friday at 1 PM I have an appointment with the student counseling services. They were pretty available since it's summer, I guess.

I'll keep you guys updated, along with the usual updates.

@RCtheWSBC sorry for tagging you I just know that you've told me to go to student services for several months now (maybe even years) and I finally actually made an appointment so yeah thanks
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Proud to be EPic
Texas Aggie, Class of 2018 A-Whoop!

helIy posted...

was it a modest mouse tote bag?

yes! and it was (is) beautiful!
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Proud to be EPic
Texas Aggie, Class of 2018 A-Whoop!

i really thought just blogging out my shit would help but im barely hanging in there you guys

i think im going to just give up and actually reach out for help <_< looking into student services now



From the form I have to fill out:

Describe your concerns and the way they interfere with both your personal life and your academic performance or your choice of a major/career.

good lord that's a big question. like, I can talk about that forever. how am I supposed to answer that.
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Proud to be EPic
Texas Aggie, Class of 2018 A-Whoop!

nose
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Proud to be EPic
Texas Aggie, Class of 2018 A-Whoop!

I_Abibde posted...

Going to continue paying for Netflix.

Not going to pay for a Disney service.

Yuuup this.

I'm already going to be missing the new Trek series since I'm not going to be paying for CBS' streaming site.
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Proud to be EPic
Texas Aggie, Class of 2018 A-Whoop!

@helly (or maybe it was @GanonsSpirit <.<) bought me a tote bag back when I graduated high school so that I could use it in college.

I still use it almost daily. Thanks, friend!
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Proud to be EPic
Texas Aggie, Class of 2018 A-Whoop!

i accidentally skipped a bunch of them lolol

I just pooped my pants.

I had a dream a couple of weeks ago where I fucked older versions of my cousins... The older cousin and I became fuckbuddies. We had sex constantly until I helped her get a boyfriend and then we stopped.

Thunder we all knew

I'm remembering more and more stuff about that Japanese broadcaster who used to talk behind my back in Japanese. Like when he called me an "American idiot", I questioned it. He claimed he was asking a Japanese viewer about the 'film' called "American Idiot". Once, he and his viewers got annoyed because they thought I was using translation software to read their conversations. Clearly, he was annoyed as well, and didn't like me "Google-translating" their conversations. I told him that my Japanese skills were better than usual that night, which did kind of sound like bull-crap, to be fair. Anyway, he told me that they wanted me to get lost until tomorrow morning, when I could be in his broadcast again. I was lonely that night, so I wandered to his broadcast again, where there weren't so many comments at the time. I asked him if the Japanese viewers were gone. Then he called me a racist. I argued that they didn't want me around, so that's why I asked if they were in the broadcast. If they were, I would leave. If they weren't, I would stay. Then one day, while watching his Twitch stream after not seeing him stream for a while, he asks me how I've been. I reply that I've been busy with my job and my school. Then he calls me a liar and says that I have no job, that I'm making it up. Then he keeps saying that "It's so obvious that you have no job". And I'm here going, "What the hell is this dude?" He just keeps pulling these assumptions out of his ass and it's pissing me off. I only wanted to respond to his question, "How've you been?" and stuff. And then when I answer, there he goes telling me that I have no job. Then when he finally believes me, he asks me how much it pays. "Ten dollars an hour," I reply. "That's not much, to be honest," he remarks. I didn't fucking ask him; he just went off saying that on his own. Then he tells me that it's not much to brag about. And here I am going, "Who the hell is fucking bragging? I was just answering his goddamn question about how I'd been." So first he tells me I have no job, then he tells me that it fucking sucks, and that I shouldn't have "bragged" about it. I can't ever see why I ever returned to his broadcasts after that. Once, he claimed that his Japanese viewers knew more English than I knew Japanese. For some reason, his opinion of my Japanese skills seemed to sink lower and lower every time I went to his broadcasts. One time, I made a gaffe and said "Oharo-" (a spin on the Japanese word for 'Good morning') when it was midnight my time. I was tired and wanted to make a reference to Rinoa from Final Fantasy VIII. Then he tells me that it's "Ohayou" for "Good morning" and that for evenings, it's "Konban-ha". That was definitely my mistake, but I still can't get over him telling me that I only just now learned the words that he "taught" me. In short, I fucking hate that guy, and reminisce about him at work often, when I'm doing mundane stuff. That's the primary reason for this wall of text. I'm thinking about how he makes me angry and I feel the need to vent. Anyway, thanks for reading my wall of text, PurplePerson. :D

hey, I'm PurplePerson! How'd you know I read the wall of text?

Rumor is Zeus fucks stray cats by the dozens. He may or may not have feline HIV

The world will be a much better place if Donald Trump dies

Donald Trumps family would be better off if he passed

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Proud to be EPic
Texas Aggie, Class of 2018 A-Whoop!

Nah I'm p sure that was directed at me
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Proud to be EPic
Texas Aggie, Class of 2018 A-Whoop!

Breath of the Wild was the last thing I played and beat and I'm not playing anything right now.
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Proud to be EPic
Texas Aggie, Class of 2018 A-Whoop!

My friends, family, and teachers all think I'm some super smart kid, when in reality I just google things because I'm too lazy to actually learn anything.

I'll give Jen 1,000 Canadian dollars for sex

You know what? HelIy is right; I really don't know how to talk to people. >_>

And you know what else? Heliy's also right about me being a pushover in my therapy sessions. I mostly just let the professionals ask all the questions and make all these assumptions. I don't think it was mostly their fault, come to think of it. I'm being all passive in my sessions, I don't take charge. I always let them speak, let them control the one-hour sessions. I feel like if I do this, then I'm probably not going to get as much out of my therapy sessions as I could hope for.

It's President Trumps God given right to want to fuck his daughter

I am MrMelodramatic's Alt

I rub my penis on my local cats. It's ok though as I don't stick it in them.

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Proud to be EPic
Texas Aggie, Class of 2018 A-Whoop!

DorkLink posted...

Maybe if you didn't make so many emo-ass topics all the time

i wasn't talking about me <_< PotD is just hostile towards all kinds of people in general. having one random anon thinking you're serial killer ish is way better than having everyone say so every time you make a topic or post something, which happens to a lot of posters. I'm don't think I'm disliked (on potd, anyway). maybe mildly annoying, sure. and also i make way more than emo-ass topics, and about half or more of the complaints i get are from those are from you lol. you can feel free to ignore me if they bother you so much :b

keyblader1985 posted...

What topics are you talking about exactly?

i dunno what you mean
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Proud to be EPic
Texas Aggie, Class of 2018 A-Whoop!

ehh, that's just one person tho. at least most of the board doesn't dislike you
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Proud to be EPic
Texas Aggie, Class of 2018 A-Whoop!

arbitrarily starting at confession #550 because I don't rememeber where i left off

Chewy should cut back on the alt activity.

Why does MrMelodramatic act like he's 18? All these high school level drama topics and the way he thinks things about his college are so cool and unique like a first semester freshman

i like that i take an interest in things I'm doing :> it usually leads me to pretty cool experiences.

Thunder 54 looks like the byproduct of Borat fucking an ostrich

I've used two different accounts for years now. Most people don't suspect a thing, but there a few people who've already figured that we're the same person lol

I am Sofa Kingdom

I Fucked Sophie

When Zeus leaves POTD permanently, I will commit account suicide with a dick pic

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Proud to be EPic
Texas Aggie, Class of 2018 A-Whoop!

juggalos because apocalyptic world-wide takeover with guy ferrari or w/e
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Proud to be EPic
Texas Aggie, Class of 2018 A-Whoop!

because then my whole schtick on this board will end.
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Proud to be EPic
Texas Aggie, Class of 2018 A-Whoop!

Modest Mouse
David Bowie
Kanye West
Radiohead
Neutral Milk Hotel

honorable mention to The Beatles because they're magical, and also to Jeff Rosenstock, who is quickly climbing his way up the ladder and might eventually crack the list.
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Proud to be EPic
Texas Aggie, Class of 2018 A-Whoop!

I went to tell my prof that I was sorry I lost my cool yesterday and she said she didn't even notice so not to worry about it. She obviously noticed but it's chill of her to pretend that it was totally normal and pretty funny, if anything.
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Proud to be EPic
Texas Aggie, Class of 2018 A-Whoop!

Bump for updates later
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Proud to be EPic
Texas Aggie, Class of 2018 A-Whoop!

(2/2)

and i felt like i didn't know what i was doing with it or why i was even doing anything and then i was thinking like "jesus christ what tf am i doing why am i saying these things this is not the right time or place or literally anything this is totally unprofessional of me"

so i tried explaining all of that to her and i think she saw i was freaking out and having a small anxiety attack so she was like "hey man it's okay. you're doing good. let me try and help your anxiety. send me a rough draft of your final paper and i can tell you if there are any big errors." and i was like "bro wtf no. that's not fair to literally anyone else" and she was like "i would do the same for anyone, but none of them come into office hours and ask for help." and so i took a few moments to breathe and stuff, and then i apologized for taking so much of her time and for just in general being terrible and packed up and left and oh boy that whole thing just completely spiraled out of control.

i sorta want to go in tomorrow and apologize for having a breakdown but i'm afraid i'll mess that up too <_< anyway i won't be sending her a rough draft or ever seeing her or anyone from that class ever again (today was the last day) so i guess it all just doesn't matter now anyway.
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Proud to be EPic
Texas Aggie, Class of 2018 A-Whoop!

(1/2)

okay so i guess this needs a little context. im taking an english class about women who wrote during the 18th century but were forgotten by time, and are kinda sorta just non-existent as far as mostly everyone cares. Like these ladies don't even have wikipedia pages and all the info on the web about them is behind paywalls and it's maybe a page or two in some big book that's not even really about them. so anyway we were reading some works by these kinds of people, but also everyone in the class was assigned a person, and we had to do some research on them and write some papers, make a presentation about them, etc etc.

also sort of important to this story is that 10% of the class grade is participation in the classroom discussions we have every day. I'm pretty shy and not that great at english so i don't ever say anything and so my participation grade was pretty bad. so i started going to my prof's office hours and talking to her about the stuff we were reading one-on-one and I think it really helped me out. i got a good participation grade, she knew i was doing the homework, and i think it just made my prof understand my personality and sense of humor better than she otherwise would've. like sometimes i'd be a dick on my exam essays but she knew i was was kidding and would comment things like "haha!" and stuff.

well anyway, today i had to give a presentation to the class about my author. i guess a running theme in this class is that a lot of women who wrote were involved in scandals and stuff, and usually ended up dying alone and poor with no one wanting anything from them. but my author was middle class (at least), fairly successful, traveled the world, owned a business. but her works dealt a lot with loneliness and general dissatisfaction and like i don't know for sure or anything, but even though she died happier than a lot of the other women, i think she still died pretty sadly. so yeah i was going to go up and say all that (better, of course) but then i dunno.

like, i guess it was a mix of general fear of public speaking, mixed with the fact i was giving my presentation right after a really good presentation, also mixed with the fact that i was just then realizing that like 80% of that class had no idea who i was or anything just gave me awful anxiety. and that anxiety lead to tons of word vomit. in the middle of it all, i just really started feeling bad for my author, and i started talking about how i related to her because loneliness is shitty (i said shit at least twice while i was up there) and i just started getting really flustered and emotional and i felt like crying but i also tried to hide it by making some jokes and pretending i was kidding but also i did a lot of weird crap like gave my gay star trek tumblrblog a plug. so yeah obvs i ended and thought "welp. there goes my A"

i went up to my prof's office afterwards to try and explain that i had a way better presentation planned but i just got overcome with anxiety and totally blew it but she was like "dude stop. your presentation was great. you knew about her life, her works, her themes, you contextualized it within the frame of this class, plus you were funny and had everyone's attention and made it relatable. I gave you an A on it. you should really stop being so hard on yourself because you're doing great in this class."

and man idk what to tell you guys. i just broke down. like i didn't start sobbing or anything, but i reealllly don't like compliments like that and my whole "I'm worthless" persona just came out and i just, like, ahhh. i kind of cried and just said that she should probably give me a lower grade because it wasn't fair that i wasn't participating but i was still getting a grade and that i was total trash up there and didn't deserve my grade and that i'm just like, an awful person for various reasons and that it probably didn't really matter in the long run because my final essay was going to be total crap
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Proud to be EPic
Texas Aggie, Class of 2018 A-Whoop!

big man's diary. glad you're enjoying it.
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Proud to be EPic
Texas Aggie, Class of 2018 A-Whoop!

Noooo please explain
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Proud to be EPic
Texas Aggie, Class of 2018 A-Whoop!

KogaSteelfang posted...

Uh-huh...

It's true. If you've ever been like, just, really depressed, that's a sucky af feeling. like, awful. i wish people didn't have to go through it. i wish I didn't have to go through it, but it brings me down that others feel that way too. sometimes when I'm just walking to class or whatever it really brings me down that a pretty large chunk of the people walking by don't feel like being alive or whatever. i wish there was something i could do, but i can't even help myself, you know?

anyway, today started out pretty normal but i had a sort of mini-breakdown in my English class today... and then i had a full on anxiety attack and started crying on my professor's office during her office hours <_< i'll probably write up more about it in an hour or so. right now im gonna have dinner tho
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Proud to be EPic
Texas Aggie, Class of 2018 A-Whoop!

No bc king of the hill is believable and good
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Proud to be EPic
Texas Aggie, Class of 2018 A-Whoop!

the classic. such a good jeff rosenstock intro song.


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Proud to be EPic
Texas Aggie, Class of 2018 A-Whoop!

TheWorstPoster posted...

_AdjI_ posted...

Not hard, no, but you're still putting an awful lot of work into "not caring."

What else is there to do?

Of course, I should play some Salmon Run instead.

lol playing video games when there are so many more important things to do.
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Proud to be EPic
Texas Aggie, Class of 2018 A-Whoop!

there's a thing called hyperbole. twitter is great for it.
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Proud to be EPic
Texas Aggie, Class of 2018 A-Whoop!

Apparently he was also a member of Andrew Jackson Jihad. good golly.
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Proud to be EPic
Texas Aggie, Class of 2018 A-Whoop!

you should definitely listen to more.

I can't decide if i like his solo work or BtMI more, personally. I think his solo stuff is actually better, and it highly fucking relatable to me rn, but Bomb the Music Industry was a big thing for me in high school. i saw the similarities, but didn't realize it was the same frontman until recently lol.

I haven't dug into ASOB outside of their last two albums, but they're also REALLY good.

Jeff is amazing.
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Proud to be EPic
Texas Aggie, Class of 2018 A-Whoop!

Jeff has three solo albums! And yeah his songs are so relatable it feels like I could've written them. He's a big musical inspiration for me.
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Proud to be EPic
Texas Aggie, Class of 2018 A-Whoop!

Just do what I do and have condomless sex then never talk to her again
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Proud to be EPic
Texas Aggie, Class of 2018 A-Whoop!

Hmm this isn't really related but when I was a kid my dad promised me a GBC for my birthday, so we went to check them out and they only had pink ones so he wouldn't buy it for me because it was a girl toy and I could only have boy toys.
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Proud to be EPic
Texas Aggie, Class of 2018 A-Whoop!

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Proud to be EPic
Texas Aggie, Class of 2018 A-Whoop!

I'm not saying having sex is easy, but everyone can find someone before they're 35. probably before they're 20 tbh. but definitely by 25.
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Proud to be EPic
Texas Aggie, Class of 2018 A-Whoop!

He's amazing

Thoughts?
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Proud to be EPic
Texas Aggie, Class of 2018 A-Whoop!

helly posted...

wwinterj25 posted...

So it apparently tastes like Fireball Whisky

no. not even close. it tastes like dirt.

So exactly like Fireball?
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Proud to be EPic
Texas Aggie, Class of 2018 A-Whoop!

Zeus posted...

Being captain of the rowing team at your expensive boarding school.

I don't readily associate clothing with culture -- within reason, mind you -- but it's more the matter of word choice, eloquence, etiquette, general education giving a broad knowledge, being well-read, having an active interest in the arts, etc. Cultured people talk more slowly, choosing their words more deliberately.

By contrast, I associate class with clothing, grooming, and other superficial qualities (albeit also including etiquette).

This, pretty much.
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Proud to be EPic
Texas Aggie, Class of 2018 A-Whoop!

aww :(
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Proud to be EPic
Texas Aggie, Class of 2018 A-Whoop!

what happened to your main account, friendo?
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Proud to be EPic
Texas Aggie, Class of 2018 A-Whoop!

yeah so she ended up staying an extra night and just left a little while ago. We didn't do much else except watch anime and eat tacos.

All in all, it was fun, but kind of awkward. We're not the closest of friends, and we don't share too much in common; I think we just enjoy each other's company. Which is all good, except that both of us kind of suck at talking to people, so conversationally there are a lot of long, weird pauses. Still, it was all pretty fun. We played board games and stuff, we went for a late night walk through a nearby park, we had pancakes for breakfast. We made really lofty plans to go out to a lake and camp out in her car this September, but I don't think that'll actually happen.

I'm definitely feeling blue today but I couldn't even tell you all why. I just feel like a disappointment to everyone around me. Like my parents have expectation of me that I'm never going to meet. And I'm a quitter, you know? I fear responsibility and commitment to things that I might fail, so I back out of a lot of things or just don't try. Then i go on and feel mopey about feeling stuck, im literally just stupid. it's like i expect things to get better without actually wanting to try, and that's bs and i know it's bs but i don't ever change. I'm just static.

i was thinking about the starlight on friday night and how it's just to unfathomably old. that star burned like, thousands of years ago and shot out a really bright light, and it travelled a scary amount of miles until it hit my eye and i could see it. and then it was over. those particular photons or waves or whatever (idk science) travelled all that way and ended up on me. that seems kind of rad, but also kind of sad. i guess appreciating the starlight might make its existence a little bit more meaningful, but also, the star isn't really alive, you know? It doesn't really care if its light is observed. It's not trying to please anybody. But still. i like to think the light wasted on me is a little happier than the light that ended up being absorbed by the sand or whatever. sand can't appreciate starlight.

i also had that weird nostalgic feeling again. i don't know if i've mentioned it here before, and it doesn't really make any sense, but I've been getting these nostalgic feelings for things that are currently going on. and so we were there, lying down in the backseat of her car, looking at the stars through the open sunroof, and I started feeling like it was over and i wasn't getting it back. it felt like it was ten years later and i hadn't spoken to any of my friends in months or years and i was looking back at that moment and missing it, instead of it being right now and actually experiencing it right then. usually this feeling goes away kind of quickly and i just let it go, but this time it really lingered and i couldn't help but feel scared and sort of panicked. i didn't bring it up or anything, but i wish i could have had a hand on my shoulder, or a hug, or something to make that moment feel more "now" than "then". again, i know this probably doesn't make any sense. i'm bad at explaining myself.

this girl makes a lot of self-depreciation jokes. like, a lot. so do i, though. we have an inside joke where we touch our nose whenever we feel like useless losers who are tired of living. it's kind of stupid, but it's also kind of nice that someone else feels your pain. but also i wish she didn't feel that way. i wish i didn't feel that way but i wish no one else felt that way even more. i don't ever console her when she touches her nose or makes a harmful joke at her expense though. i just nod, or don't do anything. and she does the same towards me. i don't know if that's better or worse. i sorta hate it when i say something and people are like "oh don't say that! you're a great guy!" or whatever so i try not to do that when others make those sorts of comments.

uh that's it i guess. i have homework to do. this paragraph is here because I want a perfect 2048/2048 post. ok.
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Proud to be EPic
Texas Aggie, Class of 2018 A-Whoop!

PK_Spam posted...

I'm glad we can get high profile gay stories in the media, but why do most of them have to be so goddamn derivative?

Moonlight was an excellent movie and dealt with it in a great way. Almost every other gay movie is way too hammy.

Amen
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Proud to be EPic
Texas Aggie, Class of 2018 A-Whoop!

I find it impossible to drive in real life
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Proud to be EPic
Texas Aggie, Class of 2018 A-Whoop!

I've watched Reservoir Dogs, Pulp Fiction, the Kill Bills, and Django, but I thought they were all pretty boring tbh. I don't get the love for QT films.

But anyway, of those, RD is probably the best one.
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Proud to be EPic
Texas Aggie, Class of 2018 A-Whoop!

I'm not really keen on MJ. Man in the Mirror is a good song, two or three others are okay but I'd never listen to on my own, and I've never heard or don't have an opinion on the rest of it.
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Proud to be EPic
Texas Aggie, Class of 2018 A-Whoop!

8/10 night.

She got into town and we watched anime and caught up for a few hours, then we went downtown and hit up some shops, we went with some other friends to a restaurant we were way underdressed for and shared an entree and dessert. After that we went out for some drinks, and then we drove a little ways out of town so we could stargaze. We laid down in the back seat of her car and just talked and talked and talked for like four hours. We drove to my apartment and went to sleep and now it's today!

And today we've got planned is watching Voltron and Disney movies.
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Proud to be EPic
Texas Aggie, Class of 2018 A-Whoop!

yknow, I actually think I'm over it :> crush begone.
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Proud to be EPic
Texas Aggie, Class of 2018 A-Whoop!

Yes, he makes class discussions way more boring because everyone is always on the anti trump side and professors have to make someone be pro and it's boooring
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Proud to be EPic
Texas Aggie, Class of 2018 A-Whoop!