If Superman really wanted him dead, he'd be dead. Instantly. Same with most other uber-powerful superheroes. This whole "Batman can beat anybody with prep time" thing has gone from a funny meme to something people say unironically. It's gone too far!
Batman has never beaten Superman before even with best case planning (closest it ever got was Dark Knight Returns).
Oh man, I hear the polar opposite on TikTok. Apparently there are even top 10 lists of all the times Batman has beaten Superman. And a lot of people like to bring up this comic book called "The Bat Who Laughs" (or something similar), where it sounds like Batman takes over the whole universe or some shit.
Daily reminder that the Batman that laughs is the strongest character in the DCU
I could not possibly agree more. That level of fanboy wank is why I don't like Batman anymore.
I could not possibly agree more. That level of fanboy wank is why I don't like Batman anymore.Imagine not liking something because of how other people perceive it....
Imagine not liking something because of how other people perceive it....
You're putting the cart before the horse. A large subset of people always believed that Batman would beat random, cosmic threat level characters with time to plan. The "does Batman have time to plan" thing was mocking those people. Not vice versa.Things change. Those people we made fun of adopted it and used it. Its cursed now.
The Batman who laughs is a Dark Multiverse version of Batman and is not really Batman. That would be like saying Commissioner Gordon is Batman because of New 52....but he was Batman for a while. And so were Jean-Paul Valley, Dick Greyson, Thomas Wayne and Terry McGinnis.
Batman had time to prepare for this topic.
Batman wins because Batman has the cheapest superpower; Plot armour.
And plot sprayBat Plot Spray
anti-superman aerosolIsn't it DC canon that Batman owns about 95% of the world's kryptonite?
Isn't it DC canon that Batman owns about 95% of the world's kryptonite?There was a storyline about how polluted Earth was with kryptonite, so Batman & CO cleans it up and Superman throws it into the sun. It end with Batman looking at a secret vault where he has hidden some tons of kryptonite.
"Clark, you're the only real friend I have, but I could kill you within two minutes."
"Bruce, I have lots of friends, and I could have killed you while you were talking just now."
turns out convo was batman's plan and clark uses his laser eyes but batman had glossed his whole body reflecting it into a kyptonite laced gas bomb effectively making clark pwn himselfMeanwhile, J'onn is all "The hell is wrong with you two? Just make out already!"
If Superman really wanted him dead, he'd be dead. Instantly. Same with most other uber-powerful superheroes. This whole "Batman can beat anybody with prep time" thing has gone from a funny meme to something people say unironically. It's gone too far!
had a plan that hinged on his ability to get into Green Lantern's house while he was sleeping
...but he was Batman for a while. And so were Jean-Paul Valley, Dick Greyson, Thomas Wayne and Terry McGinnis.They aren't Batman. They are just running around calling themselves Batman. Batman is Batman and sometimes he tells people that his name is Bruce Wayne.
Batman is Batman and sometimes he tells people that his name is Bruce Wayne.Bruce Wayne lives in Batman's attic.
Still loses to Jackie Chan holding a baby, assuming he doesn't want any trouble.Drunk Jackie Chan will beat the hell out of that Jackie Chan.
The thing that gets me is how Batman can't be fun or kind any more. Same shit they did to Superman in the 2010's.
Superman's a fascist and Batman's the only person who can stop him. That's the only cultural weight those two characters hold at the moment. It has to be this David vs. Goliath moment all the time, which robs Superman of his compassion and Batman of his humanity. Superman can't be a comforting force for good, and Batman can't be a guy who handles street-level crime because of the trauma of losing his parents. Superman has to be a hated tyrant and Batman has to think in five dimensions and plan every move 50 moves ahead so he always wins everything.
And the way Batman fanboys suck his dick is so annoying. I like Batman, but the way he HAS to be the Greatest Hero Ever and how people play up his "regular man in a bat costume" thing to further sell how great he is to keep up with his superpowered colleagues is beyond a joke - it's interesting and cool, but not when the 80th milquetost, mouth-breathing, WatchMojo-watching moron puffs their chest out and states it as the reason why Batman is the greatest hero ever. Like I'm glad that's your favorite part of the character, but that's not all he is and I don't need to listen to you say the most dumb-fuck obvious spiel about how that would make him beat Superman in a fight. Shut the actual fuck up.
And there's this pathological need to make it a conflict between Superman and Batman, like they can't actually fight crime or take down actual threats. "It's the greatest What If story of all, it's dramatic because they're meant to be friends" no, it was a dramatic idea before it became EVERYTHING the characters are. The Snyderverse introduced Batman not as a resourceful crime-fighter, but as a thuggish brute who hates Superman because he committed fifty 9/11s in a row. His entire introductory movie is about him fighting Superman. The only other mention of him fighting crime has him branding people with a batarang so his marks get murdered in prison. What the actual fuck happened to Batman? Why did Alex Kurtsmann get his fingers into that shit?
The type of fanboy who simps for Batman is second only to the type of fanboy who simps for the Joker. I like both characters, but there's a stigma around either of those characters being your favorite comic book character because of the overall atmosphere of brainrot present in "nerd" spaces and the implicit need to speak in circles at all times until you don't even register the meaningless horseshit that you're spewing. After being around this shit for as long as I have, I genuinely think that getting to the point of stanning a superhero makes you a stupider person, because at a certain point you fall into a hole and you don't get back out because you're too used to going in circles.
Batman is fine. The people who like Batman, at a base level, are fine. The people who've decided to make their lives about Batman, and have decided that the character is a small sampling of character tropes that they personally like, and whose greatest rhetorical question is about whether he can beat Superman or not - those people make me want to eat my own teeth.
oofReally, this is "America", or at least the Foxnews version.
umm dude, he is batman
his whole thing is stealth and such
There was a storyline about how polluted Earth was with kryptonite, so Batman & CO cleans it up and Superman throws it into the sun. It end with Batman looking at a secret vault where he has hidden some tons of kryptonite.It will never not be strange to me that Earth seemed to end up with the lion's share of kryptonite on it.
It will never not be strange to me that Earth seemed to end up with the lion's share of kryptonite on it.Earth is a very weird planet.
"Clark, you're the only real friend I have, but I could kill you within two minutes."Real Frog and Toad energy there, except the violence
"Bruce, I have lots of friends, and I could have killed you while you were talking just now."
It will never not be strange to me that Earth seemed to end up with the lion's share of kryptonite on it.It's not that weird. Kryptonite would only really be two places: roughly where Krypton used to be and Earth. Krypton's former location probably has a planet-sized amount of it, but even Lex isn't typically capable of finding Krypton, getting there, and bringing it back. Earth would have it because it tagged along with Clark.