Current Events > Sigh I finally found the perfect woman who likes me but she has a boyfriend.

(+) Yeah! (+)

On one hand I'm happy we'll be friends still. On the other I wanted a romantic connection. It's worst knowing she was interested in me but, she found someone else and I never showed any interest. If I had asked her out back in March when we first met we'd have been dating. I shouldn't complain because still have a friend and friends are hard to come by in this day and age. I'm not going to let it ruin our friendship,

If there's no ring on her finger...

MarshMellow posted...

If there's no ring on her finger...

I have standards. I'm not going to cheat and she's not expressed any interest in cheating.

Well the obvious answer is you disguise yourself as the boyfriend, and start dating her, then when you go to get married and she says I do you rip off your mask and say you thought you were marrying (insert boyfriends name), but it was I Dio!

Jk

Dio posted...

and she's not expressed any interest in cheating.

Then she don't like you, amigo

HojoojoH_2 posted...

Then she don't like you, amigo

She likes me as a friend amigo. I wouldn't date her if she was willing to cheat. I really should just accept her friendship. I shouldnt be greedy. Love comes and goes but friends are forever. I ask myself am I willing to toss away her friendship in pursuit of a doomed romance? No.

If shes with someone, shes not the perfect woman for you, fam.

buddah86 posted...

If shes with someone, shes not the perfect woman for you, fam.

Yeah...it just...I really hate how indecisive I am. She was wanting to date me but, she thought I had no interest in her so she didn't bother sending signals. Why am I so stupid?

Are you in a relationship?

MotaroRIP619 posted...

Are you in a relationship?

No. I don't cheat. if she decided to cheat I'd say no and we'd end any future ties together. Maybe part of me is glad she's just a friend. if she was willing to cheat on her boyfriend she'd do it to me too eventually. Do I want to date someone so quick to cheat?

Dio posted...

No. I don't cheat. if she decided to cheat I'd say no and we'd end any future ties together. Maybe part of me is glad she's just a friend. if she was willing to cheat on her boyfriend she'd do it to me too eventually. Do I want to date someone so quick to cheat?

It's not always that simple. There are people who would never dream of cheating, but then they meet that once in a lifetime person.

But that's a line you won't cross, and that must be respected. There's not much you can do other than enjoy your friendship and treat it is a hard lesson for the future.

Dio posted...

I have standards. I'm not going to cheat and she's not expressed any interest in cheating.

Technically you wouldn't be the one cheating, but yes on the home wrecking.

If you are staying friends for hopes there will be a chance in the future when shes single then Id suggest staying as a distant friend. You dont want to get the permanent friend zone if youre interested later on.

Dio posted...

Yeah...it just...I really hate how indecisive I am. She was wanting to date me but, she thought I had no interest in her so she didn't bother sending signals. Why am I so stupid?

youre also not her first choice
a little bouncing on the d never hurt a friendship

Kono Dio da

Don't open that can of worms.

Don't be the side guy

Dio posted...

Love comes and goes but friends are forever.

Unless you're in love with your friend then you just sit there stewing about being in the friend zone and getting angry at that person.

If you knew she was interested, why didn't you do something months ago?

Dio posted...

I have standards. I'm not going to cheat and she's not expressed any interest in cheating.

Sure, but she isnt committed yet and sounds like they haven't been together that long. You should just keep a good relation with her, but don't overstep boundries and definitely dont make yourself too available.

Also obviously dont try and break them up, if they are not right for eachother then it wont work out in the end.

What will being friends get you? Pain and heartache.

I'm editing this because I didn't realize she said she won't cheat and you won't ask her.

Distance yourself. You aren't doing yourself any favors palling around with an unrequited love and since you are discussing it here, it appears you are the sort of person who can't just be friends without romantic hopes.

Like I originally said, being friends will only bring heartache and misery because it will eat at you, at least till you meet someone else.

People going "There ain't a ring on that finger" showing exactly how they view relationships.

Well TC, you learned a valuable lesson about hesitation. It sucks it had to be that way but, now you know for the future.

Value your friendships. You will be happier than the people who only see the opposite sex as a romantic/sexual possibility.

[LFAQs-redacted-quote]

Really? Surprised the second marriage stat is so high. No way I am getting divorced from my second wife

[LFAQs-redacted-quote]

I get it. I learned from my first marriage, both how to communicate better and also what I will not put up with from a partner. It was borderline emotionally abusive.

I'm bsp btw. Changed my username here to what I use on discord.

This happened

She don't like you, TC. Stop over thinking it. She isn't.

[LFAQs-redacted-quote]

You should join the discord server!

Don't be the replacement, because then you'll be replaced next.

MarshMellow posted...

If there's no ring on her finger...

Dude, don't be that guy

MrResetti posted...

This happened

r/nothingeverhappens

Protoman_X38 posted...

Sure, but she isnt committed yet and sounds like they haven't been together that long. You should just keep a good relation with her, but don't overstep boundries and definitely dont make yourself too available.

Also obviously dont try and break them up, if they are not right for eachother then it wont work out in the end.

If she isn't happy she can do it herself. I have no business being involved in her romantic affairs.

Shamino posted...

What will being friends get you? Pain and heartache.

I'm editing this because I didn't realize she said she won't cheat and you won't ask her.

Distance yourself. You aren't doing yourself any favors palling around with an unrequited love and since you are discussing it here, it appears you are the sort of person who can't just be friends without romantic hopes.

Like I originally said, being friends will only bring heartache and misery because it will eat at you, at least till you meet someone else.

It's so hard to make friends. She's the first to want to hang out with me and do things. All my friends have just moved on in life. its nice to have someone to talk too. So it'll hurt for now not having more but, in the end i'm just glad I have a friend.

ai123 posted...

It's not always that simple. There are people who would never dream of cheating, but then they meet that once in a lifetime person.

I dont think thats true at all. Youre either somebody who is open to cheating or youre not. Some people who are need more arm twisting than others, but theres plenty of people who would never even consider it.

There's nothing wrong with staying friends if you are able to keep that boundary up yourself. If you find that you can't overcome the feelings and regret, you will really want to figure out what to do about that. You don't want to make things uncomfortable for her or her partner, and you don't want to hurt yourself by clinging to hope.

Not saying this to discourage you from remaining friends. Just want you to be mindful and to take care of yourself

Dio posted...

If she isn't happy she can do it herself. I have no business being involved in her romantic affairs.

It's so hard to make friends. She's the first to want to hang out with me and do things. All my friends have just moved on in life. its nice to have someone to talk too. So it'll hurt for now not having more but, in the end i'm just glad I have a friend.

I've had women "just friends" that I possibly had interest in. It's not a big deal if you can compartmentalize. Also, I was just friends with my wife for 3 years before we suddenly weren't just friends.

a lot of terrible fucking advice and world view in this thread.

TC your decision about the current situation is good, if you enjoy her and love her as a person having a relationship is not mandatory even if you both actually wanted it, now you both gotta respect the other person.

Dont also do it expecting them to eventually break up, it might happen but they may also stay together for years on end and by the end you two might be completely different people, it is also unhealthy to expect a relationship breakup to be a benefit for you.

That sucks TC. Hopefully this will be the kick in the pants that helps you be less indecisive in the future. But if you can handle just being her friend, then no reason to cut her off. But it also helps to attempt dates with others, so you don't dwell on it.

buddah86 posted...

If shes with someone, shes not the perfect woman for you, fam.

That's not how it works. I think your sense of reality has been warped by all of CE's "the perfect woman, but" topics lol.

ai123 posted...

It's not always that simple. There are people who would never dream of cheating, but then they meet that once in a lifetime person.

But that's a line you won't cross, and that must be respected. There's not much you can do other than enjoy your friendship and treat it is a hard lesson for the future.

I strongly disagree with this. I have a very firm no cheating stance and I also firmly believe that you shouldn't end a good relationship just because you think you found someone better. Not everyone is willing to cross those lines

Umbreon posted...

Well TC, you learned a valuable lesson about hesitation. It sucks it had to be that way but, now you know for the future.

This echoes how I feel. Good luck, TC

Umbreon posted...

Value your friendships. You will be happier than the people who only see the opposite sex as a romantic/sexual possibility.

While this is true, the prerequisite is not to pine over her, which can be easier said than done >_>

You found Bea Arthur?

[LFAQs-redacted-quote]

That kinda says it all right there, doesn't it? If both of them liked each other but neither of them made a move then somewhere along the way they both probably thought a relationship wouldn't work, or the communication skills between the two of them are so sorely lacking that it would probably lead to other relationship problems further down the line.

The right person at the wrong time is still the wrong person. I'm just glad TC is comfortable enough to find value in the friendship he does have with this lady that he doesn't want to jeopardize it by pursuing impulses or jealousy. There's absolutely nothing wrong with having a friend of the opposite sex, TC. Just don't ruin it by mudding the water, cause adult friendships are already hard enough to come by as it is.

I should say when i first met her I kept my distance and never really talked to her. She made a couple attempts to be friendly with me but, I gave her the cold shoulder. When I did start actually talking to her and we became friends it was already too late and she had moved on and found someone else. You live and you learn.

I wasn't trying to be rude but, I was I dont know I just can be reserved till you get to know me. I'm not a super social person. I should be more outgoing honestly. She agreed with me on that. She said I won't ever meet anyone if I give off cold and distant vibes. She said there's plenty of women out there for me and I'm selling myself short. I have to put myself out there. It's not easy but nothing in life ever is.

Dio posted...

I should say when i first met her I kept my distance and never really talked to her. She made a couple attempts to be friendly with me but, I gave her the cold shoulder. When I did start actually talking to her and we became friends it was already too late and she had moved on and found someone else. You live and you learn.

I wasn't trying to be rude but, I was I dont know I just can be reserved till you get to know me. I'm not a super social person. I should be more outgoing honestly. She agreed with me on that. She said I won't ever meet anyone if I give off cold and distant vibes. She said there's plenty of women out there for me and I'm selling myself short. I have to put myself out there. It's not easy but nothing in life ever is.

Just take it as an opportunity to work on yourself. You don't seem comfortable with yourself, and that uneasiness bleeds into all your interactions with other people and results in missed opportunities with the ladies like this.

If you're feeling temptation and having trouble controlling it, it's best to either start searching for someone, or stop the friendship. Otherwise you're just playing with fire.

A_Good_Boy posted...

Just take it as an opportunity to work on yourself. You don't seem comfortable with yourself, and that uneasiness bleeds into all your interactions with other people and results in missed opportunities with the ladies like this.

She did tell me she thinks just being a decent guy in 2025 is enough to make any woman interested. Just actually giving a shit. Too many men only want sex and that's all they want. All her past ex's dumped her when she wouldn't put out. They simply wouldn't give her time.