Current Events > How common was bullying when you went to school?

(+) Yeah! (+)

Another thing. Any of you seen bullying in college? Like less than 1% of the children at school were bullies though?

It was pretty common. And if you fought back you got in trouble.

experienced bullying though i had some things against me: was fat, had crooked teeth and on the spectrum.

it became less common when entering high school. except for 9th grade when i went to vegas for a year (there's always an asshole group wanting to press buttons).

cant answer the college thing. i'm not destined in this lifetime to go to that.

Strider102 posted...

It was pretty common. And if you fought back you got in trouble.

This. Even protecting yourself would get you in trouble. If you so much as held up your arms to protect your face, the assholes that be would count that as "fighting back."

mercurydude posted...

This. Even protecting yourself would get you in trouble. If you so much as held up your arms to protect your face, the assholes that be would count that as "fighting back."

What percent of the children would you estimate would bully?

I don't know how common it was, because I didn't notice anyone else getting bullied. But I got bullied pretty heavily in 7th and 8th grade.

High school was fine though, didn't get bullied and didn't notice much bullying besides one girl getting picked on by girls that were jealous of her. "Why do guys like her so much? She's ugly."

I'd say moderate.

I've had a dictionary thrown at my head before and was also subjected to systematic startling that gave me a form of CPTSD that I'm still recovering from.

Pretty common in high school.

I was the quiet, awkward kid. I was also probably on he spectrum. People would joke that I was likely to snap and cause another Columbine.

Bullying mostly ended when I beat the shit out of one of them. The other bully stopped when I threatened to kill him. I didn't mean it of course, but isn't it funny how things went from "I'm definitely not afraid of you" to "Teacher! Teacher!"?

Somehow didn't get suspended for that. I'd like to think it's because they knew I wouldn't really do such a thing, but it was probably more "Look he's a senior and close to not being our problem anymore. He's too [Word that was probably still socially acceptable middle 00s] to do anything anyway".

Anyway I think my school had more of an STD problem than anything.

College was chill.

Umbreon posted...

Pretty common in high school.

I was the quiet, awkward kid. I was also probably on he spectrum. People would joke that I was likely to snap and cause another Columbine.

Bullying mostly ended when I beat the shit out of one of them. The other bully stopped when I threatened to kill him. I didn't mean it of course, but isn't it funny how things went from "I'm definitely not afraid of you" to "Teacher! Teacher!"?

Somehow didn't get suspended for that. I'd like to think it's because they knew I wouldn't really do such a thing, but it was probably more "Look he's a senior and close to not being our problem anymore. He's too [Word that was probably still socially acceptable middle 00s] to do anything anyway".

Anyway I think my school had more of an STD problem than anything.

College was chill.

Sadly most of you think this is most effective, sadly hitting back sometimes? Doesn't always work though right?

GranTurismo posted...

Sadly most of you think this is most effective, sadly hitting back sometimes? Doesn't always work though right?

I mean, scientifically speaking?

Ignoring the problem? Didn't work.
Asking the teachers for help? Didn't work.
Trying to "be normal"? Didn't work.

Resorting to violence? Solved the problem.
Threatening bodily harm? Solved the problem.

Put yourself in the shoes of a severely depressed 18 year old, and tell me what life lessons are you supposed to pick up with this anecdotal evidence.

Now of course I've grown and matured a lot since those days. Kept my nose clean, haven't been in any fights, not a violent person. But damn is that going to be a hard lesson to teach any kid.

Strider102 posted...

It was pretty common. And if you fought back you got in trouble.

I remember getting an award once in second grade because instead of fighting back, I stood there and took the ass beating until the teacher came and broke it up.

Umbreon posted...

I mean, scientifically speaking?

Ignoring the problem? Didn't work.
Asking the teachers for help? Didn't work.
Trying to "be normal"? Didn't work.

Resorting to violence? Solved the problem.
Threatening bodily harm? Solved the problem.

Put yourself in the shoes of a severely depressed 18 year old, and tell me what life lessons are you supposed to pick up with this anecdotal evidence.

Now of course I've grown and matured a lot since those days. Kept my nose clean, haven't been in any fights, not a violent person. But damn is that going to be a hard lesson to teach any kid.

How about most of those bullies now, sadly how do you think most of them are doing as like 40 yr olds or whatever age.

AgentCoulson posted...

I remember getting an award once in second grade because instead of fighting back, I stood there and took the ass beating until the teacher came and broke it up.

Nah, fuck that

GranTurismo posted...

What percent of the children would you estimate would bully?

It's hard for me to even say because I was a target of it in jr. high, so I was way too much in the middle of the situation to consider how many others were getting it too.

I didn't notice it much in elementary school. Back and forth teasing, but not outright bullying.

mercurydude posted...

It's hard for me to even say because I was a target of it in jr. high, so I was way too much in the middle of the situation to consider how many others were getting it too.

I didn't notice it much in elementary school. Back and forth teasing, but not outright bullying.

most of it very phsicial though?

GranTurismo posted...

How about most of those bullies now, sadly how do you think most of them are doing as like 40 yr olds or whatever age.

*shrug*

If they're lucky, they learned that people have their limits to being pushed and they changed their ways.

If they're not so lucky... they probably didn't make it to their 40s because they fucked with someone far more willing to catch a body than some random dork in high school.

Or thier family has money, in which case it doesn't matter.

GranTurismo posted...

most of it very phsicial though?

In my case, sometimes it was physical but mostly it was harassment. Like almost a whole school year of it, every single day. It almost drove me to violence.

Umbreon posted...

*shrug*

If they're lucky, they learned that people have their limits to being pushed and they changed their ways.

If they're not so lucky... they probably didn't make it to their 40s because they fucked with someone far more willing to catch a body than some random dork in high school.

Or thier family has money, in which case it doesn't matter.

One of my bullies has been getting arrested all of his adult life, but is surprisingly still around despite being a drug-addicted thief. I know about this because he occasionally pops up on the news.

Never in elementary and only saw it in middle school on 2 specific people. I went to a ghetto high school and we didn't have bullies but we did have a lot of fights. I think regular non-ghetto public schools and private schools have bullies. If any Houston CEmen post here they can tell you how ghetto Sharpstown High School is.

There was a lot of name calling and shit talking in my high school but it rarely got violent. I can count the number of actual fights we had on school grounds on one hand. One dude that everyone hated got to the point where he went home to get his dad dad's shotgun but he was stopped before he got back to the campus.

I don't know if it's considered bullying but the quiet kids/nerds used to get roasted sometimes. But it's hard to say if it was targeted because roasting was just a thing at my school, everyone did it to each other. But the difference is that they weren't willing participants, so I guess it could be considered bullying. Never saw anything beyond that, like violence or physical intimidation.

Mixed...

Freshman year, going to lunch I saw a kid I didn't know well got thrown into the lockers by a senior, but that's the only time I saw bullying violence. There were other fights, but those 2 kids angry at each other not an aggressive one going after perceived weakness.

I knew several people that were openly bigoted towards gay men. In middle school I interpreted the gay jokes as harmless jokes but sometime in high school after a close friend made a joke about gay people, quoting Seinfeld, I said "not that there's anything wrong with it" and he responded "there sure is something wrong with it." I didn't fight him on it but I stopped making gay jokes then, but I didn't stop hanging out with him nor did I ask him to stop. Then like junior year I ran for a low-level class officer. I had a really good speech that started low and got louder and got a big applause, but... I only had one opponent who was openly gay and there were a shit ton of people, even those I didn't know well, that came up to me and said "I voted for you because that other kid is gay." So there clearly was a lot of bigotry. But he was openly gay, as was a male cheerleader, and a few others so it wasn't as bad as it could've been. One of them would be needed to say how bad it was.

I made fat jokes. Not a lot, but towards the end of senior year a girl overheard me making a fat joke about her and I felt like shit. She'd probably consider me a bully.

I had a kidney-bean sized keloid growth on my ear from 7th to 10th grade. Super noticeable, I was super self-conscious about it... I can't recall many jokes making fun of it. There were a couple, but never as an intense focus that I think of with the word bullying. When I got it removed, I distinctly remember being disappointed that my social standing didn't improve at all. No one started treating me differently. It felt like I was the only one that noticed it was gone.

User ,No site....the person who made the comment on the Seinfeld joke you just avoided that person did you think about challenging him verbally about his comment?

Bullied relentlessly in middle school. When I did stand up for myself, I was punished.

I love to bully, I am teaching my kids to follow in my footsteps.

GranTurismo posted...

User ,No site....the person who made the comment on the Seinfeld joke you just avoided that person did you think about challenging him verbally about his comment?

No. As an insecure teenager my first thought was "but we love repeating Seinfeld lines at each other," defending myself not the people actually under attack. I realized then gay jokes weren't funny but it wasn't until college where I finally learned to keep better company. Last I heard he's a history teacher in like Rhode Island. There's a chance he's better now.

Was common in elementary, middle, and high school. Stopped when I went to College.

One situation in middle school involved this boy that liked Michael Jackson and would do his dance moves. He got beaten up and told stop dancing/singing. At the time, I thought it was because of MJs legal troubles, but now I realize it was really because he was gay, which I didnt understand back in 2005. The kid ended up changing schools a month into the school year and never saw him again.

I went to a small school. Right around 400 people. I don't remember much of it beyond the standard baseline of some kids didn't like each other or sophomoric immaturity. Nothing like systematic or organized.

It's pretty common.

Bullying in college is weird. But that's mostly contained in the sororities and fraternities where that culture could fester.

I never really saw any, except early in the War on Terror where this one Arab kid named Muhammed caught hell for predictable reasons. It was really messed up and must have been an awful time for him. I hope it was short-lived.

Strider102 posted...

Nah, fuck that

Yeah. My teachers always hated that I would fight back and hated that my mother told me to fight back. I remember my kindergarten teacher telling the principal about my mom telling me that if anyone hits me, I'm allowed to hit them back as if it was bad parenting. Always wondered what they'd tell their kids to do if someone was beating on them in school.

Not much from what I remember seeing in elementary.

Middle school was a goddamn warzone and it was absolutely terrible. You had the boys who happened to be early bloomers and hit puberty first that was like 5'8s and almost rocking a full goatee picking on and making life miserable for the more nervous/quiet kids who were still looking like 12 year olds/6th graders. *There was this infamous mofo called cade that was at my middle school.....one of them 5'8 dudes, bigger than everyone else, rocking a mullet with a rat tail, and was constantly in and out of juvenile hall. Most kids knew to stay away from that dude. He seriously looked like he was a bully that stepped straight out of a late 80s teen movie.*

Most boys was constantly showing off if there was a group of girls around and so would be starting shit just to look good in front of them. (Vice versa for the girls messing with other girls and getting into fights almost always for a boy). Every single day felt like a fight where you have to defend yourself because goddamn would people just not leave you the fuck alone if you attempted to mind your business, lol.

*There is me rocking my toys r us final fantasy 7 cloud shirt and trying to hold cultural discussions with my fellow dorks about whatever video games, rpgs, and wrasstlin' we just seen monday. It was the WWF raw is war 1996 to 1997 era when I was in middle school, lol.*

My highschool time 1998 to 2001 was the most relaxed/chill out of the 3. I guess most kids down my way just happened to mature at the same time or something. Every other dude is going "wazzuuupppppppp" *daps you up, so learn those or else you will look like a dork.*

Middle school was the worst for me. In seventh grade there was this one kid that went out of his way to harass me every single day. Teachers and other staff were no help as he'd continue to harass me afterwards. Unfortunately I had to put up with him in eighth grade as well. But there was another kid that came that and he focused picking on him more than me.

High school wasn't as bad as middle school as I began to stand up for myself. Didn't get into any fights though.

jefffan posted...

It's pretty common.

Bullying in college is weird. But that's mostly contained in the sororities and fraternities where that culture could fester.

Why do you think it happens so rarely in college.

AgentCoulson posted...

Yeah. My teachers always hated that I would fight back and hated that my mother told me to fight back. I remember my kindergarten teacher telling the principal about my mom telling me that if anyone hits me, I'm allowed to hit them back as if it was bad parenting. Always wondered what they'd tell their kids to do if someone was beating on them in school.

Most of you do believe it is mostly bad parenting?

For the last school i went to it wasn't very common at all for the guys. 2 instances of note and the instigator was kicked out by the end of the week both times.

They were more passive for the girls unfortunately though. Not super frequent but definitely some cases.

Was bullied and people threatened to harm cats to bully me a few times in middle school
no oen ever got physical though

Elementary? Yeah it was frequent enough
High School? It was there, but everyone kinda minded their own business
College? Didn't notice it at all, except within friend groups?

Middle School? I'm convinced Middle Schoolers are pure evil. That's when kid are the most hateful, racist, violent etc, and that was when Myspace was Getting popular. I'll never forget that one orphan, man

Can't imagine it today where everyone is connected at all times

GranTurismo posted...

Most of you do believe it is mostly bad parenting?

Yeah, okay. You stand there and take an ass beating the next time someone assaults you.

PowerOats posted...

Elementary? Yeah it was frequent enough
High School? It was there, but everyone kinda minded their own business
College? Didn't notice it at all, except within friend groups?

Middle School? I'm convinced Middle Schoolers are pure evil. That's when kid are the most hateful, racist, violent etc, and that was when Myspace was Getting popular. I'll never forget that one orphan, man

Can't imagine it today where everyone is connected at all times

Why would middle school easily be the worst, are most of those bad middle schoolers usually ok?

GranTurismo posted...

Why would middle school easily be the worst, are most of those bad middle schoolers usually ok?

If I had to take a complete random guess, middle school/ages 13 to 14 is when everyone is going through that puberty phase and emotions are growing stupid. Kids are trying their hardest to find their cliques and stand out, which leads to stupid shit going down. Some kids are early bloomers, some are late bloomers. The early bloomers will be the ones trying to absolute hardest to fit in somewhere.

I like to think that by the time kids hit 15/high school age they are actually starting to mature a little bit. Their cliques/social hierarchy and all that stuff is mostly settled. Most kids are finally hitting their growth spurts n' whatnot and so there isn't those vast differences in development you'd sometimes see in middle school. Social groups from what I remember from my relatively populated highschool mostly stuck to theirselves.

Mad-Dogg posted...

If I had to take a complete random guess, middle school/ages 13 to 14 is when everyone is going through that puberty phase and emotions are growing stupid. Kids are trying their hardest to find their cliques and stand out, which leads to stupid shit going down. Some kids are early bloomers, some are late bloomers. The early bloomers will be the ones trying to absolute hardest to fit in somewhere.

I like to think that by the time kids hit 15/high school age they are actually starting to mature a little bit. Their cliques/social hierarchy and all that stuff is mostly settled. Most kids are finally hitting their growth spurts n' whatnot and so there isn't those vast differences in development you'd sometimes see in middle school. Social groups from what I remember from my relatively populated highschool mostly stuck to theirselves.

So do you believe that the majority of even pretty bad bullies at like 30 year olds usually are doing ok at 35 years old or do you believe it's impossible to say?

I don't know. I was told it never happened. I can tell you that was a dirty fucking lie.

GranTurismo posted...

So do you believe that the majority of even pretty bad bullies at like 30 year olds usually are doing ok at 35 years old or do you believe it's impossible to say?

As much as I really want to believe most people grow out of it and gain more maturity than their highschool selves, I a lot of times don't think most people change all too much from who they were at those late adolescent/early adulthood years.

IMO If anything those certain bullies who were narcissistic, vain and/or manipulative are the ones who can use that to get ahead in life/become politicians, lol.

Overall its impossible to say since you really do have those ex-bullies that genuinely regret what they did and mature for the better post school life.

[LFAQs-redacted-quote]

Wow like a really high achieving school, great academically?