Current Events > I told my brother we might have to separate.

(+) Yeah! (+)

We've lived together literally since we were born. 32 years later and he is getting worse and worse and worse. I just don't know how much more I can take.

It's a...reaaaally long story, and I simply don't know what to do. I want him to stick by me through everything, but I'm not getting the support I need. He lashes out about so many things; we had a pretty big fight this afternoon. Common for us now unfortunately.

I've dealt with his emotional issues for forever and they aren't getting any better. They're getting worse. A lot of this has followed us since literal childhood, and I don't have high hopes that it's going to get much better.

At this point, while disability would help the issues a bit, things have gotten so bad that we don't have the time to wait on it. He's actually getting rapidly worse ever since I got a job. We have gotten angry enough at each other that you can see it in our eyes. And this is more common than it ever should be.

This whole thing breaks my heart. My brother has had an absolutely terrible upbringing (I did too, but not nearly as bad). On top of likely being really high on the autism spectrum, his needs are so specific and structured that I cannot afford to keep meeting them. I'm not even sure government assistance would actually give him what he wants.

Separating is the last thing I want to do; it could be his final push to death. But he's going to die anyway if his situation doesn't change. It's gotten really bad and serious. I wish it were as simple as him just getting a job, but unfortunately almost nothing in my life is as straightforward as it sounds on the surface.

I'm really sorry, man. Also unfair to you to have to always deal with it on your own though

I know in a few years I will have a similar problem. I love him but we have always fought. He's aggressive and has anger issues. Since my sister passed she was supposed to be the lead. It's something I dont want. I wish it will be easy it wont.
There might be a blessing. I might not be around at the rate I'm going

Its the drowning man scenario.

Can you afford rent without him?

That really fucking blows.
I'm sorry...

Cornmuffins posted...

Can you afford rent without him?

Yes. He's at least half the reason I have been struggling so much with money.

Cornmuffins posted...

Can you afford rent without him?

He doesn't contribute because he doesn't work.

Never knew if he truly can't work or just refuses to. Super slash?

bsp77 posted...

He doesn't contribute because he doesn't work.

Never knew if he truly can't work or just refuses to. Super slash?

We think it might be both. He is just completely unmotivated to try because of how many interviews go nowhere. His average job has only lasted a few months. He lasted 5 years at Walmart but that was over a decade ago.

It's completely incomprehensible to me how there exists paid professionals that have to go through college and med school and get paid big $$$ to take care of special needs adults but the average person is expected to do it for free with no training just because they're related to you.

My son is high functioning on the spectrum as this is my worst fear for him and my daughter. Theres no right or wrong solution for either one of you. I am sorry for you both.

my sister is autistic and non-verbal, and my parents made the choice to have her placed in a home with other adults like her.

she's happier since she gets the kind of care and attention she needs, and because she isn't treated differently than others.

obviously each home is different from each other, and the quality can differ too, but finding the right place for your brother might be the best for the both of you (just be sure to visit).

And tonight my ex decided to blurt out something stupid as soon as she got home and it made an already terrible night even worse.

God, I fucking HATE life.