Current Events > Found Out My Ex is Back with her Abusive Ex

(+) Yeah! (+)

I have no relationship with her so to speak, she owes me money too and I'm pretty much entirely over her, but....

Well, you know. I feel a certain way about it.

You like the idea you leave these people and their life maintains an upward trajectory, you like the idea you had a positive spin on their lives and they continued onward and that always isn't how the dice get rolled.

Drunk_Cobra posted...

You like the idea you leave these people and their life maintains an upward trajectory, you like the idea you had a positive spin on their lives and they continued onward and that always isn't how the dice get rolled.

Almost never is how the dice gets rolled but you shouldn't waste time dwelling on this shit.

if you're seriously concerned tell one of her friends.

Besides that, walk away.

Oh yeah, and kiss that money goodbye.

Conservation of momentum suggests if one person is going up the other is going down.

divot1338 posted...

Conservation of momentum suggests if one person is going up the other is going down.

My ex and I are both down spiraling

deez nutz

hmnut7 posted...

if you're seriously concerned tell one of her friends.

Besides that, walk away.

Oh yeah, and kiss that money goodbye.

Oh believe me buckaroo I already did, YEEEEEEHAW.

I already did that and I don't intend on getting involved whatsoever but it's still just like blaaaarrrrrgggghhhh.

solosnake posted...

deez nutz

gimme gimme you freak ass

man watch a fuckin movie or something

[LFAQs-redacted-quote]

Wrong

I care about my exes and I want them to have a good life. If an ex of mine was with someone I knew was abusive, I would want to somehow help. Not for any self serving reason, but just because I care.

[LFAQs-redacted-quote]

I think being concerned your ex returned to their abuser is normal

[LFAQs-redacted-quote]

Is a "lot of people" just you? Plenty of people are on OK terms with their ex and at least know what is going on. Folks are going to have an opinion about pretty much anything anyone else is doing. And wanting something better for someone you know? That's pretty normal.

I don't even know what you were on about here.

That poster is confusing 'obsessively monitoring an ex's love life' with 'not wanting to see them abused'.

I think most people can tell the difference just fine.

darkmaian23 posted...

Is a "lot of people" just you? Plenty of people are on OK terms with their ex and at least know what is going on. Folks are going to have an opinion about pretty much anything anyone else is doing. And wanting something better for someone you know? That's pretty normal.

I don't even know what you were on about here.

CE White Knighting

Oh boy was I drunk when I made this topic! Yeah not much you can do but it does suck to discover. The guy stalked her semi kinda post breakup since we're all same friend group or we're at the time I had the scoop. Apparently to win her back he showed up at her door with a cleaned deer skull from a deer he found on the road AHHHHHHHHH

Drunk_Cobra posted...

Oh boy was I drunk when I made this topic! Yeah not much you can do but it does suck to discover. The guy stalked her semi kinda post breakup since we're all same friend group or we're at the time I had the scoop. Apparently to win her back he showed up at her door with a cleaned deer skull from a deer he found on the road AHHHHHHHHH

Most people would see that as not so much a token of love, but more an indication that he had taken up serial killing.

You gotta move on OP.

Walk away

Like the other poster said, tell a mutual friend.

Dont get involved though.

SHRlKE posted...

You gotta move on OP.

That's not what this is about...

Or maybe it partially is, idk

Radical acceptance. It's not your problem.

Can a man not drunkenly gossip without being accused of holding a candle for the conductor of the train collision

You said it yourself you have no relationship with her. So this isn't like one of those things were you break up and stay friends. So this isn't something that should be on your plate. I know in the back of your head you might be thinking. Why did we break up and she is with an abuser . You can't think like that. This situations are so complex and you can only wish her the best or hope someone close to her gets her the help he needs. You thinking about a situation you can change is not going to help you or her.

No, that's not right at all! Gee whiz fellas we broke up years ago tried being friends and it didn't work but I've had an active dating life since her, I'm more or less just a little alarmed at the jumping onto a landmine with both feet after seeing her get her life together

cjsdowg posted...

You said it yourself you have no relationship with her. So this isn't like one of those things were you break up and stay friends. So this isn't something that should be on your plate. I know in the back of your head you might be thinking. Why did we break up and she is with an abuser . You can't think like that. This situations are so complex and you can only wish her the best or hope someone close to her gets her the help he needs. You thinking about a situation you can change is not going to help you or her.

I just know if my ex gf was with someone I knew was abusive, I would want to somehow do something. And I am now married and have zero desire to be back with my ex.

The only ex girlfriend I ever interacted with extensively after breaking up was when I literally found her passed the fuck out in a club.

Took her home. Put her in my bed. Went to sleep on the couch.

If she wasnt moments from getting arrested I wouldnt have done it.

Just let it go. This is one of those 'cruel to be kind' situations to stay out of.

You can save her

divot1338 posted...

The only ex girlfriend I ever interacted with extensively after breaking up was when I literally found her passed the fuck out in a club.

Took her home. Put her in my bed. Went to sleep on the couch.

If she wasnt moments from getting arrested I wouldnt have done it.

Funny. One of my exes rang me out of the blue asking me to grab her from a police station after shed been arrested for trying to get out a flat when the police arrived and accidentally tipping a potty of piss over the officer. She wasnt even the reason the police were there lmao. Funnily enough we hooked up a few times after that. Turned out her bf was an abusive pos so I didnt have any qualms if she was cheating with me. The whole reason the police were there was cause her bf made up some bs about her brother hitting the abusive BF. He basically blackmailed her into staying with him so he wouldnt press fake charges. He also basically conned her and they got a house together and almost immediate he started treating her like shite. Only reason he was with her was because he needed her help to get a mortgage. Then every time she tried to leave he just threatened to not pay the mortgage so theyd come after her cause she couldnt afford it on her own. She wasnt even living there by the end and still trapped to pay the mortgage. No idea what happened in the end. Not spoken to her for over a decade. Think she now has four kids with four different daddies.

Not your problem, move on.

I remember I was the one called an asshole in my friends group when I commented on a friend's facebook page a decade ago where she was happy to get back together with her abusive ex.

"Oh, isn't this the guy that put you in the hospital with 3 broken ribs last year? Good luck with that"