Current Events > Post New Vegas quotes *possible spoilers*

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Dr teep diagnoses a terminally low number of caps in this conversation

They asked me if I have a degree in theoretical physics.

"You're crazy."
"Crazy with low, low prices on Wind Brahmin!"

Fully Integrated Security Technetronic Officer active and reporting for duty.

DrizztLink posted...

They asked me if I have a degree in theoretical physics.

If I have a degree in physics*

Told them I have a theoretical degree in physics!

Nobody's dick's that long, not even Long Dick Johnson, and he had a fucking long dick. Thus, the name.

I pray for the safety of all good people who come to Zion, even Gentiles.

But we can't expect God to do all the work

"Hello. Was that supposed to sound like a dumb-dumb? Because they sound dumber than that! They sound like this: 'DUUUUUUUUUUUHHHHHHHHHHHH!'"

I'm all for risking my life, but I'm a little sensitive about my asshole

"Get up without my permission, I'll blast your ass so far through your head, it'll turn the moon cherry pie red."

I always nickname my rocket launcher in Fallout 4 'Cherry Pie Red' in honor of this quote.

Have you ever tried to indulge an all-consuming urge to kill when you don't have opposable thumbs? Or hands? Or anything other than a bread slot? You'd have a lot of pent-up anger too!

"Down at the end of the hall is BALL storage. For jocks who like BALLS, like RICHIE MARCUS. Do you hear me, Betsy? RICHIE likes BALLS!"

Are you... Are you COMING ONTO ME?!? Sweet lord! I don't even have the words for... for how repugnantly WRONG that is.

"Are you tired of getting chased because you're bigger than humans, and scaring them? Did you kill some, and they overreacted? Are two-headed bear people shooting at you, and battle-cattle mooing? Beware the battle cattle! Leave the fear behind! Meet at the Mountain Top! Enjoy life in a state of Utobitha - Free, Safe, Secure!"

"Freedom limited to following the commands of Best Friend Tabitha. Safety not guaranteed against siege or assault by two-head-bear people or battle cattles. Many infractions are punishable by death, no allowances for DUMB-DUMB MISUNDERSTANDINGS!"

"Utobitha! Come feel the difference!"

Why in the world would you attack President Kimball?

> He tried to make me pay taxes.

Understandable.

"Uh, no. Implants, not plants. They're little machines I can put inside you to make you faster, quicker, or smarter. I recommend the smarter implant."

You're nobody until somebody loves you. And that somebody is me. I love you.

From where you're kneeling this must seem like an 18 karat run of bad luck. Truth is, the game was rigged from the start

"I'll hand it to that piece of shit, he was determined. He used some kind of Old-World stealth device to get across the river in a Legion boat. Seems the device ran out of juice once he got here, but he was dressed like a Legionary. He was caught just outside the weather station. See, thing is, he didn't change his hairstyle. To go through all that effort and fail because you're too vain to muss your hair..."

"Are you fucking kidding me?! First I get my legs smashed, and then in walks the Powder Gangers' grim fucking reaper?! What the fuck have you got against us, man?"

"Patrolling the Mojave almost makes you wish for a nuclear winter."

"You're a veritable geyser of curiosity, boss!"

Bump

f

"You're making me carry all the heavy stuff, aren't you?"

"Why do we always hurt the ones we care about the most?"

ASSUME THE POSITION

caps

The Divide, where the two messengers, the two couriers, fight beneath an ancient flag, at the edge of the world.

That always gives me goosebumps for some reason.

"Do you remember the good old days, where the Master ruled over us all? When his gentle, compelling, and yet oddly insistent voice crawled through your mind, and told you exactly what to do? Do you miss a time when you didn't have to think for yourself, and enjoyed lazy days of following the bellowed commands of others? Those days can be yours again, for Best Friend Tabitha, the esteemed leader of the State of Utobitha, is here to tell you what to do! That's right! I, Tabitha, will take on the burden of your obedience!!"

Acceptance into Utobitha pending Best Friend Tabitha's approval. Best Friend Tabitha reserves the right to turn down applicants for any reason, including whimsy or boredom. Acceptance into Utobitha open to mutants only. Former human servants of the Master conditionally accepted for purposes of centaur feeding duties. Dismemberment may occur.

"Utobitha! Come, take a load off your mind!"

Oh no, I'm just a Deputy, and I can't be Deputy without a Sheriff. It's called Chain of Command.

Cuddles came in about his car again. He even brought a container of gas and asked if that would help. I tried to tell him that gas was not the problem, but he got really angry and dragged me outside. Tabitha killed him herself before things got too ugly.

At least I don't have to hear about his damn car anymore.

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