Current Events > I miss my wife and kids

(+) Yeah! (+)

Currently basically making sure my mother doesnt die through sheer bloody mindedness because she refuses to actually let anyone know when shes in medical trouble.

So Ive got to stay with her, so I can take her to hospital if she needs it.

fun

Welp, taking her back to hospital.

damn, that sounds really tough...idk what to suggest since I've never been in any kind of similar situation, but I hope things get better

boxoto posted...

damn, that sounds really tough...idk what to suggest since I've never been in any kind of similar situation, but I hope things get better

Thank you, I appreciate it.

Shes been having bleeding since a procedure last Wednesday. They told her that a little bit of bleeding for a day or two was normal, so shes decided that means any bleeding for any length of time is ok.

Ive been trying to get her to listen to reason since Saturday, but no dice.

Went with her to a blood test today, on the way back she had to stop 6 times to rest, late last week it was only twice.

When we got back, I reminded her of all the things Ive been concerned about the last few days, and that Ive been asking her to raise with her treating Dr. I insisted that she needed to go to hospital.

She was dead against it, because it was too stressful but i insisted that she at least let me pack her hospital bag, because she was either going today under her own steam, or Id need to call an ambulance tomorrow.

That is rough my friend. You will get through it too. Stubborn parents are difficult especially when they NEED help but will not admit it. That is the older generation for ya, or maybe it is just older ppl. Idk!

Thanks.
Shes been discharged, which seems like an exercise in futility right now.

Guess Ill be staying another week so I can bring her back to hospital next week.

I have a bad feeling her health has gone past the event horizon.

How old is your mom? Hang in there TC, you're being a good son

Dat_Cracka_Jax posted...

How old is your mom? Hang in there TC, you're being a good son

Mid 70s, she was ok until a heart condition from Covid.

fingers and toes crossed, now shes taking the iron supplements I bought her, she seems to be improving. Its just getting through this week without any more bleeding, so I know shes stable before I go home.

Best with it, seriously.

Welp, my mum is back in hospital. She collapsed this afternoon. She was literally trying to tell me she was fine while lying on the floor in the hallway.

Back home, because fuck making sure shes stable, right?

They topped her up with two bags of blood and told her to fuck off, basically.

edit: thats an oversimplification obviously, but they are creating an absolutely unsafe situation while the bleeding is ongoing. Theyve told her to cut her blood thinners in half (literally) and she has another scope on Thursday.

Apparently the regular blood loss and anaemia has caused kidney damage, so now her kidneys are playing up,

The health care system can be very frustrating

So she had her scope.

Looks like the majority of the bleeding was caused by the last scope, so yay.

Fingers crossed the bleeding stops soon.

End of next week itll be 1 whole month Ive been here caring for her, without seeing my wife or kids.

[LFAQs-redacted-quote]

It is, thank you.

Making sure my mum is safe is my #1 priority right now, but I just want to wake up at home and take my kids to school. Listen to their weird rambling monologues and give them hugs.

Rotterdammerung posted...

Making sure my mum is safe is my #1 priority right now, but I just want to wake up at home and take my kids to school. Listen to their weird rambling monologues and give them hugs.

Major props. You sound like an awesome human being. I wish the best for your mom.

BlueKat posted...

Major props. You sound like an awesome human being. I wish the best for your mom.

Nah, my wifes the awesome one. She has been managing the kids on her own and working full time for the whole time and still wants me to stay as long as my mum needs until shes safe to leave alone.

Rotterdammerung posted...

Nah, my wifes the awesome one. She has been managing the kids on her own and working full time for the whole time and still wants me to stay as long as my mum needs until shes safe to leave alone.

Still taking care of a relative in such bad shape is no joke. Did with with my grandad while working full time fast food. And If you know fast food they work you like a dog.

In thr past few years I've been taking care of my mother financially cause her disability barely covers the cost of her meds and car bill.

Sorry you have to go through all this. Hope everything works out for you guys.

Your wife and kids can't hop over and visit a bit during all this though? >_> Or did you take a plane or something and it's too far?

Rotterdammerung posted...

Nah, my wifes the awesome one. She has been managing the kids on her own and working full time for the whole time and still wants me to stay as long as my mum needs until shes safe to leave alone.

Nice. Congrats on having an awesome wife!

Thankful my parents got scared shitless when my uncle got stroke and got paralyzed. I do hope they seriously learn not to underestimate symptoms
Good luck to you tho, that is difficult. My mother in law has kidney failure and it is difficult to keep her healthy

Sufferedphoenix posted...

Still taking care of a relative in such bad shape is no joke. Did with with my grandad while working full time fast food. And If you know fast food they work you like a dog.

In thr past few years I've been taking care of my mother financially cause her disability barely covers the cost of her meds and car bill.

You have my absolute respect! Its true when people say your parents look after you for the first part of your life, then it becomes your turn to look after them.

NeonOPPAl posted...

Sorry you have to go through all this. Hope everything works out for you guys.

Your wife and kids can't hop over and visit a bit during all this though? >_> Or did you take a plane or something and it's too far?

My kids are neurosparkly, so having them here isnt a good idea until my mums better. All things well Im going to hop back home for a few hours next weekend, if its likely Ill be staying much longer.

BlueKat posted...

Nice. Congrats on having an awesome wife!

Thank you, Im thankful she wanted to share her life with me, every single day, but particularly times like this.

apolloooo posted...

Thankful my parents got scared shitless when my uncle got stroke and got paralyzed. I do hope they seriously learn not to underestimate symptoms
Good luck to you tho, that is difficult. My mother in law has kidney failure and it is difficult to keep her healthy

Oh, I hope they do, for all your sakes. My fingers and toes crossed for you.

Rotterdammerung posted...

You have my absolute respect! Its true when people say your parents look after you for the first part of your life, then it becomes your turn to look after them.

It's been rough but I don't think I could live with myself otherwise. They both did way more for me than legally obligated to.

Mom took care of me quite a bit past me being an adult. Grandad could be a asshole but if I ever found myself in a pinch I could call him and he'd deliver. Like I was being followed home as I walked on foot by these two people who had pestered the fuck out of me beforehand trying to ask for my cell phone and trying to sell me a knife. One phone call and he showed up

are there any studies behind this? why do parents not say when they are not feeling alright and just refuse to go to the doctor? is it just laziness or denial or what?

weeb98 posted...

are there any studies behind this? why do parents not say when they are not feeling alright and just refuse to go to the doctor? is it just laziness or denial or what?

There Is stubbornness cause a hospital stay isn't fun and games. Then there's we can't afford this shit in America

weeb98 posted...

are there any studies behind this? why do parents not say when they are not feeling alright and just refuse to go to the doctor? is it just laziness or denial or what?

A bit of stubbornness as sufferedphoenix said, and definitely denial. For my mum, I know its fear, and as soon as she starts losing blood she stops thinking clearly, so avoidance is the easiest option.

Im fairly sure even now shes on the down swing and will refuse to admit it, but the last few months have knocked her around so much that could just be paranoia.

In her case, Im setting up stuff that will act as a fail safe, I bought her a medical alarm button that runs off the mobile phone network, and will be setting up regular community nurse visits for welfare checks.

Ill still be coming over twice a week once I can go home, but thatll add extra safety to the situation, so she doesnt get into a situation where shes confused and cant get help in between.

Its just making sure shes safe to leave *at all*, at the moment.

Rotterdammerung posted...

A bit of stubbornness as sufferedphoenix said, and definitely denial. For my mum, I know its fear, and as soon as she starts losing blood she stops thinking clearly, so avoidance is the easiest option.

Im fairly sure even now shes on the down swing and will refuse to admit it, but the last few months have knocked her around so much that could just be paranoia.

In her case, Im setting up stuff that will act as a fail safe, I bought her a medical alarm button that runs off the mobile phone network, and will be setting up regular community nurse visits for welfare checks.

Ill still be coming over twice a week once I can go home, but thatll add extra safety to the situation, so she doesnt get into a situation where shes confused and cant get help in between.

Its just making sure shes safe to leave *at all*, at the moment.

Yeah some a are stubborn. My grandma would have a whole ass episode but then try her hardest to act ok when ems arrived. It was a pain in the ass.

Gastroenterology appointment this morning. Dude was like yeah, Im going to cancel all your upcoming procedures, theyre doing more harm than good and thinks the GI bleeding will resolve in time off Warfarin and without any more scopes.

Also confirmed what Id thought after doing some reading about which blood thinner is best for avoiding GI bleeds and kidney damage.

Fingers crossed.

Sorry, this is basically now Rotty Ds livejournal about his mums treatment ang angst topic.

I also make no apologies.

Rotterdammerung posted...

Sorry, this is basically now Rotty Ds livejournal about his mums treatment ang angst topic.

I also make no apologies.

As you shouldn't. Those who make BlogFAQs jokes are asshats.

Xenogears15 posted...

As you shouldn't. Those who make BlogFAQs jokes are asshats.

Cheers, mate.

This topic reminds me of why I keep coming back to gamefaqs.

People might argue bitterly and with extreme prejudice over 500 posts about something minor (and sure there are nasty asshats), but generally most are decent human beings trying to get by.

I see you, and FWIW, the responses in this topic have helped me keep sane when shit looked like it could just be going down a spiral.

Aaand it looks a lot like Ill be taking her back into hospital tomorrow

Rotterdammerung posted...

Sorry, this is basically now Rotty Ds livejournal about his mums treatment ang angst topic.

I also make no apologies.

I'm checking back in when all updates for what is worth even if I'm not replying.

Rotterdammerung posted...

Aaand it looks a lot like Ill be taking her back into hospital tomorrow

How'd that go?

So very rough having a family member needing help but not agreeing they need help or refusing help.

Hope things can improve for you, that type of stress is not something I'd wish on anyone.

How is she doing?

I took her back in to hospital on Friday afternoon, she was in all Saturday and today, but might be released on Monday. In her Telehealth call with her doctor, they told her she needed to go to hospital, and she actually listened, thank god.

Because I knew she wasnt being discharged Saturday or today, I filled up her cats and came home for the night. It was amazing being able to sleep in my actual bed, but more importantly to see my wife and kids. There were many hugs. My kids have been handling things well, but theyre starting to fray at the edges. I cant leave my mum adrift, but I also cant abandon them.

She reckons the GI bleeding has stopped, so fingers freaking crossed. Either way, the current set-up isnt sustainable. I think though if she listens to her GP, Ill set up regular Telehealth appointments for her with her GP to review her blood tests. She might refuse to listen to me, but she listens to her doctor thank god. and Ill be coming over to visit twice a week

Discharged yesterday, cardiologist appointment in the afternoon. Well, the cardiologists registrar. My mum has never actually seen the specialist himself, any time over the last 7 months.

He contradicted every single thing weve been told for the last seven months, was obviously unprepared, had no idea what the treatment or monitoring plan was moving forward.

My mum has an appointment with a *new* cardiologist in two weeks.

Came home today since the bleeding has still stopped, but I set up the emergency button for my mum this afternoon.

Currently seriously on edge since its been either a loop or a spiral the last month, but she seems ok and my kids and my wife need me.

Apparently, some little turdbucket at school has been teasing my son, saying Ive left his mum. I would never wish violence or misfortune on a child, but that brings me close.

I am just so thankful that my parents in law have been able to help with the kidlets while Ive been gone, and that my wife is so absolutely amazingly understanding and patient.

Her haemoglobin levels have improved since she was discharged on Tuesday! This means the bleeding has definitely stopped, and her bodys replacing the blood she lost.

Was a bit worried when she told me yesterday that shed walked back from the doctors rather than Ubering it, but she sounded energised from the walk rather than exhausted by it.

I am Rotterdammerungs profound sense of relief.

Things can now start to return to normal. I just wanted to say thank you to everyone who responded to my stream of consciousness angsty/worried ramblings over the last few weeks. It actually made a difference to my mental health. So once again, thank you! Youre good people!

Glad things are looking good