Current Events > I asked her out on a date!!!!

(+) Yeah! (+)

I think you just want sex tbh, based on that. You could tell me you're just meeting up with a coworker to discuss work during your lunch break and I'd believe that over it being a date. You're too stiff, save that for the bedroom honey.

You know what my problem is? I am not interesting. What am I supposed to say? I play Dark Souls and Smash Bros? "Ooh, do me, Dark Souls Master, I want you to do me cause you're the Dark Souls guy!"

Cotton_Eye_Joe posted...

You know what my problem is? I am not interesting. What am I supposed to say? I play Dark Souls and Smash Bros? "Ooh, do me, Dark Souls Master, I want you to do me cause you're the Dark Souls guy!"

Personally I'd avoid telling her about that inner monolog, at least for a while.

BloodMoon7 posted...

Damn TC you really are just a wham bam thank you ma'am kind of guy huh.

Dating apps cause people to speed run a relationship. You're desperate to get the girl off the app before she meets someone better.

Cotton_Eye_Joe posted...

Dating apps cause people to speed run a relationship. You're desperate to get the girl off the app before she meets someone better.

Yikes

philsov posted...

active on the app at like 1 am on a weeknight is a pink flag for me

How come?

Just throw away your personality and replace it with Bouldering and Rock Climbing and talk about nothing except Bouldering and Rock Climbing.

Cotton_Eye_Joe posted...

https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/forum/5/5afea08a.png

3:03 AM lol

Cotton_Eye_Joe posted...

Dating apps cause people to speed run a relationship. You're desperate to get the girl off the app before she meets someone better.

Nah, you gotta work on your small talk. You can get the girl off the app without giving her quick replies to every message. Ask her about herself.

What does she do in her free time. What does she do for work. Is she gonna do anything fun for the weekend. What kind of movies does she like. What kind of music does she like. What are her favorite foods. And so on. If you're struggling to think of things to say to her now, then the date is gonna be hella awkward.

i would definitely recommend talking at least a bit more before immediately suggesting a meet up.

Cotton_Eye_Joe posted...

You know what my problem is? I am not interesting. What am I supposed to say? I play Dark Souls and Smash Bros? "Ooh, do me, Dark Souls Master, I want you to do me cause you're the Dark Souls guy!"

I mean I just found a girl that's into that kind of stuff soooo

There's plenty of those out there. But also, explore other hobbies too. I discovered that I love to cook for example, and that added a lot of depth to my profile imo

TC, Ill be straight up real with you. People here guiding you wrong. Youre way too short and cordial.

Every time you talk.

Its like this.

Like youre Amazon support.

loosen up a bit. And youre jumping the gun. Shes like work sucks and you just go So coffee Wednesday?. You put an immediate serious pressure in your responses.

It should go like this.

work sucks

Then you say, oh that sucks/wild, what happened? Yeah work sucked today for me too. Let her talk to you to for a bit. Eventually just say it out after a couple hours. Since Works been rough this week, you down for some coffee later?

You sound so rigid

Try to have a conversation with her. Read your texts they are way to direct and to the point. Making her sound like a means to an end instead of the end goal itself.

BloodMoon7 posted...

I think you just want sex tbh, based on that. You could tell me you're just meeting up with a coworker to discuss work during your lunch break and I'd believe that over it being a date. You're too stiff, save that for the bedroom honey.

Sounds like you know from personal experience.

I dont miss those fucking apps. It was the worst going on a date with someone and then seeing their active status on match right after. Then again I couldnt blame them because I was active as well.

I do agree if you chat a girl up a bit shed feel more comfortable. Doesnt take much. Save the big questions for the date anyway thats the purpose of the meetup.

Cotton_Eye_Joe posted...

You know what my problem is? I am not interesting. What am I supposed to say? I play Dark Souls and Smash Bros? "Ooh, do me, Dark Souls Master, I want you to do me cause you're the Dark Souls guy!"

Try to give yourself more things to talk about. You dont need to be the most interesting person in the world, but have some range.

Do you have any movies/TV shows that you like? Ask her what shes into - even pose it in a way where youre looking for recommendations for a new show to get into (gives you some common ground, if things progress).

Do you like sports? Does she like sports? The Super Bowl is tomorrow - thats a major event coming up. That can be a talking point. And some people watch the Super Bowl just for commercials or the half time show (Usher is performing). Speaking of which

What type of music do you like? What music does she like? Has she been to any fun concerts? Have you?

You can use very broad things as talking points. And the conversation can naturally pivot into directions you didnt expect, which can open new talking points (like youre talking about music, and she brings up a book she read about her favorite musician - that might be an indicator that reading is a hobby for her).

Oh, and dont bring up politics on a first date. That can bring everything to a screeching halt.

Revelation34 posted...

Sounds like you know from personal experience.

Nah I've never dated anyone

BloodMoon7 posted...

Nah I've never dated anyone

My statement stands even more then.

O lord this escalated quickly. Noname has the good advice tho.

Noname13 posted...

TC, Ill be straight up real with you. People here guiding you wrong. Youre way too short and cordial.

Every time you talk.

Its like this.

Like youre Amazon support.

loosen up a bit. And youre jumping the gun. Shes like work sucks and you just go So coffee Wednesday?. You put an immediate serious pressure in your responses.

It should go like this.

work sucks

Then you say, oh that sucks/wild, what happened? Yeah work sucked today for me too. Let her talk to you to for a bit. Eventually just say it out after a couple hours. Since Works been rough this week, you down for some coffee later?

You sound so rigid

Honestly, this.

TC, youre focused on the goal get her in person and only going for that.

You did good with suggesting something close for her. But you havent built off of anything she says. She said she was cold and that was a chance for you to reply with character or relate in some way.

I dont think asking her what she means with her last text was great either. It has no beneficial lead. It just resets the conversation to her potentially explaining what she already said. She was trying to express how reticent you are so that you could either explain or somewhat give her assurance you wouldnt be the same in person. Your question just kinda reinforces her worry.

I think youre maybe overthinking and its causing you to tunnel vision.

Cotton_Eye_Joe posted...

You know what my problem is? I am not interesting. What am I supposed to say? I play Dark Souls and Smash Bros? "Ooh, do me, Dark Souls Master, I want you to do me cause you're the Dark Souls guy!"

And this post needs to be unpacked.

You dont have to necessarily talk about yourself in this fashion to be interesting. You have to be willing to show interest in her. You can do that without going so in depth too. You dont have to come out and say I play Dark Souls. Start surface. After a day of work, I relax with video games for a bit some days is an organic way to introduce a gaming hobby. It allows her to focus on either the hobby itself (gaming) or the relatability of needing to unwind after work. Which you may have been able to do if you didnt literally do a Thats too bad to her saying shes been tired all day lol.

You can do this, bro. Just add more effort to your posts. Her responding so much shows immense interest.

Oof, yeah you want to keep the conversation going and continue to get to know the match up until the first date.

Reading through, it doesn't appear that you are really responding to her texts. She's given you a couple of leads, like talking about how cold she is and such. You could have easily inquired a bit more.

Your texts seem like you have a goal and just want to ask for coffee. Which is fine, but you gotta work with the conversation you're given. You seem to just blurt it out without naturally getting there.

If I were you, I'd be a bit more curious and ask follow up questions while giving a bit more information about yourself. The coffee date will come soon enough.

She was right about you being short in your conversation. Shes giving you an opportunity there and telling you what she wants. Better communication.

Take the hint.

Thats another thing OP. The videogames doesnt matter and its an excuse guys make. My wife told me she hated videogames when she met me. Last night she was watching me play banjo tooie doing their voices the whole time. If a girl is interested in you it doesnt matter what you like. If you want to talk about videogames. Start talking about Mario kart with her

I never hid the fact that I enjoy gaming when I was using dating apps and never had an issue with getting matches. At minimum I always had a conversation going with someone in the couple years I was on them again until I met my now fiancee.

I dont think theres anything wrong with discussing video games and I wouldnt hide that I play them. Not sure its a fantastic conversation starter though.

I agree with a lot of what's been said. And yeah, nothing wrong with gaming and definitely don't hide the fact that you game. For some women gaming is a major turn off, so you want to weed those women out early. On Hinge, one woman immediately unmatched with me when I mentioned that I liked to play video games lol.

On the other side of things, some women are fine with it and will even play games themselves. My girlfriend plays games and has even introduced me to a few games that were a lot of fun. Just make sure that if you do meet a girl that into games, that you don't hyperfocus on that and turn all of your conversations into games. You still need to talk about other interests.

You think they fuckin?

Bleuets posted...

She was right about you being short in your conversation. Shes giving you an opportunity there and telling you what she wants. Better communication.

Take the hint.

What would you write to let her know I'm taking the hint?

Cotton_Eye_Joe posted...

What would you write to let her know I'm taking the hint?

Talk to her like you would anyone else, tell her a little about yourself so you are a bit less of a stranger?

I just try and add to and build upon what they give me in a conversation. Read the texts she sends and see if you can build upon them. Maybe ask a question about what she says, maybe she mentions something that reminds you of a story that you can tell her.

Or, if shes giving you nothing to work with, tell her something about yourself and your day.

Conversation is all about balance. Sometimes youre learning more about them, sometimes youre telling them more about yourself.

Cotton_Eye_Joe posted...

What would you write to let her know I'm taking the hint?

Real talk, that's not the person you should ask any dating advice from.

Everyone lay off - he showed more guts than alot of guys.

TC, they are right to be more mindful of her privacy. Even If CE is above it, some rando on the net might have malicious purposes, and that's ignoring the strong possibility she wouldn't like these messages of hers being posted in the first place.

Still, history will not remember how you did it, but that you did it. She will most certainly bust your balls posting like that if things go to the next step. >_>

Show genuine interest in her day, and a convo will come from that, but...

Loosen up, and tell some jokes. The worst thing you can be is boring, so opt for your quirky side to catch her off guard at these strange hours, and utilize your talent as that's where your confidence will come from. You're good at something.

Honestly, the second she said the thing about the pictures would have started fucking with her with funny selfies with those vampire hours. Keep them guessing.

Statistically, he already did better than 50% of men on dating apps since men usually make up about 66% of the user base on most apps and about 50% of men (last I checked) don't even get a match in the first place.

https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/forum/2/25c038c5.png

oh noooo

Hopefully this is a joke, but if not, change your ways man.

bruh theres no way you read everyone saying to loosen up and actually have a conversation with her

and then said THAT

You can respect her time, but you have to show interest beyond wanting a piece of ass. Make her feel like you're a puzzle she's just beginning to crack, and she will want to meet face to face. Get. Her. interest.

I feel like playing Huniepop right now...

Smh

Its over, TC showing more red flags than Moscow in 1945

Is there any way to fix it?

If she responds maybe

Hate to break it to you

But if I imagined being in her position, I'd just check out altogether. That's enough of a red flag. You just made an awful impression and it's not worth the risk to find out if that was a big misunderstanding or not.

Trying to hook up like this will inherently involve this delicate game. The problem might not be you, in fact could be a poor representation of you, but this dynamic only works off the first impression snapshot.

Idk man youre just playing the whole thing like its a transaction or something

Cotton_Eye_Joe posted...

https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/forum/2/25c038c5.png

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=e4pXDT0oyas&pp=ygUIT2ggZnVkZ2U%3D

lol. She seemed cool. Most girls just would have ghosted you instead of telling you that it felt like she was going to an interview.