Current Events > Americans Explain Why Homer Should Still Strangle Bart

Topic List
Page List: 1
HylianFox
11/14/23 11:55:02 AM
#1:


https://www.theonion.com/americans-explain-why-homer-should-still-strangle-bart-1851012572

The Simpsons co-creator James L. Brooks recently clarified that despite criticism about domestic violence, Homer would not stop choking his son. The Onion asked Americans why Homer should still be able to strangle Bart, and this is what they said.

Freida Jefferson, Teacher
Whats the big deal? You can hear from Barts gagging that Homer hasnt completely closed off his sons airway.

David Park, UX Designer
No strangling would be like The Brady Bunch without Mike whipping Peter.

Carl Kronk, Furnace Repairman
The real issue is that Bart still isnt getting the message.

Tom Madigan, Truck Driver
Anything I grew up with going away is a sign that America is on the verge of collapse.

Adam Bagent, Creative Director
I was mad about something else, but I accidentally closed the tab and couldnt find it again, so I pivoted to this.

Ken Hudson, Marketing Executive
We need to teach children that its not okay for them to skateboard on top of your car before your wife almost hits you with her car.

Daphne Salinas, Sales Associate
What if someone impressionable sees it and decides to strangle Bart too?

Betty Wolfe, Paralegal
Its not like its some stranger doing it.

Brenna Lopez, Florist
Making a child write the same thing on a chalkboard hundreds of times isnt violent enough.

Herman Mitchell, Bus Driver
Next theyre gonna make Hank Azaria stop voicing Apu.

Brett Spencer, Social Worker
Nothing from my childhood is allowed to change or I may be reminded of the passage of time that leads inevitably to death.

Natalie King, Gym Teacher
Bart deserves to be punished.

Jack Schmidt, Consultant
Is it too late for Elon Musk to buy Disney and put a stop to this?

Kalvin Patel, Trainer
Hes gotta finish the job.

Henry Stevenson, Barista
We cant have a society where sons can go up to their fathers and tell them to eat their shorts.

George Taylorson, Loan Manager
As an adult man with a job, a mortgage, and a family, defending the depiction of physical abuse in cartoons is for some reason really important to me.

Cameron Pilker, Retail Associate
Lets reassess in season 85.

---
THIS SPACE INTENTIONALLY LEFT BLANK
Do not write in this space.
... Copied to Clipboard!
A_Good_Boy
11/14/23 11:56:17 AM
#2:


I can't tell if TC ate the onion or not.

---
Who is? I am!
... Copied to Clipboard!
Hayame_Zero
11/14/23 5:09:53 PM
#3:


What's funny is the article about James L
Brooks promising Homer will still strangle Bart has quotes from people similar to this

https://ktla.com/entertainment/homer-will-continue-to-strangle-bart-on-the-simpsonsco-creator-says/

---
...I think I'm done here...
... Copied to Clipboard!
Topic List
Page List: 1