Current Events > Never had a gf and I'm in my 30s

(+) Yeah! (+)

this fucked up matrix.

I'm a 42 year old and never had a gf and are still a virgin. I have severe social anxiety and refuse to even try. I focus on things I can do that make me happy and I exercise daily instead.

I don't think society truly appreciates the impact of true forced loneliness (TFL).

So you have never had a girlfriend, but you have had two girlfriends? Okay.

What is this term lol

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=etBRsb7WvCk

The rise of dating app culture has essentially raised the standards of beauty to disproportionate levels

Love those guys. Their videos making fun of MMORPGs are the best.

I'm not too fond of putting greater emphasis on one person's type of loneliness than another's. Loneliness is a problem for a ton of people and it comes in all forms. It sucks, plain and simple.

Hey TC, you might very well struggle with a lot of things and possibly do need help finding a proper relationship. There are also guys here who would help if you want it, such as myself. But the way you positioned this can seem insincere.

1. Someone who has had sex cannot relate to someone who hasn't.
2. There are worse things than being a regular virgin. At 30 years old, I was genuinely fine with the knowledge that I would die a virgin. I then got exactly one opportunity to have sex, but my body betrayed me. How cruel she was to me over the next four months was a drop in the bucket compared to the constant overwhelming feeling of being a failure at the deepest possible level that I have felt ever since then. I will never be okay again psychologically.

well that isn't my intention, I've suffered with loneliness all my life so this is comin from someone who lives this suffering. Everyone's suffering is relative to them in this life, whilst I'm not a virgin it doesn't invalidate that suffering of loneliness and mental health that I deal with on a daily basis. I realise that being a virgin brings it's own stigma's and prejudices, I'm lucky if I get any affection in a year tbh. I've always been a recluse and don't fit in with anyone, always been the same for me and I'm often treated differently on the way I look, like I'm some fuckin alien or somethin. It's soul destroying and it's often made me contemplate my life.

I recently turned 40 and am a dateless virgin as well. Also have social anxiety, depression, and several other mental blocks in the way. I don't think I'll ever manage to overcome this or be with anyone. I often get eaten up with envy for others that have found success, and it's not a pleasant way to live.

Thankfully it sounds like you're doing well and have adjusted in a healthy way. Good for you.

Just try if you want one. No use worrying about it, it is what it is. It wont change the situation. I would keep the inexperience to yourself though. You have no duty to tell people all your private business, no matter what some will tell you.

and if you dont want a relationship, fine. Plenty of people (millions? Billions?) have died without ever being in one.

Just entered my 30s and haven't had a date... But I'm not going to make BlogFaqs posts about it... Didn't the PS5 board give you shit for this exact reason?

ye I even have an uncle who's in his 60s and he's always been a recluse, although he has had girlfriends but now he just collects toys and watches star trek like he's always done. My other 2 uncles are single as well although they do have severe mental health issues, they both have schizophrenia, one's in a care home in his 50s, imagine that.

It's surreal to think that all 3 of my uncles have no friends and no love in their life, maybe it's hereditary in that regard, I know that mental health is. It does eat my up inside, to know I'll never have the chance to be a father like normal people is soul destroying.

If I had friends it would at least give me some respite from those feelings of loneliness. I sometimes go out with my cousin and we get pissed, I really love a dance. I just wish I had a normal life, I'm proud to be unique but it kills me to know I'm missing out on life. The fancy holidays, weddings, kids to raise, all that stuff. Facebook just reminds me of how much a loser I am in contrast to my peers which is a harsh feeling considering I do have value in my work as a TA.

Don't worry. You still have time. Now is the best time of your life

That's a gaming console board, not a general social board. Here people who don't like BlogFAQs posts are free to ignore them.

I recently went to my brothers wedding and had a major anxiety meltdown once I got home and I basically shut myself in my room for 3 days and barely ate or drink water because It was just that overwhelming to me. Before that I haven't been to any kind of social gathering in many years.

I was also teased quite a bit my aunts about "where's your gf?" "I thought you were the one getting married, not your little brother!" "When's your wedding?" "You're a handsome man! Any girl would be happy to be with you!" which were annoying to say the least.

Well I don't want to sound like everything is perfectly fine. I do have much of the same issues as you. I just choose to avoid situations that cause me to spiral into that abyss. For me, as long as I stay totally anti-social and never go out with family, I never get negative thoughts. Anytime I try to go out and be around people, that is when I just go into full anxiety and depression mode. So the key for me is to just not try anymore. I know it's wrong but it's the only way I can deal.

I recently went to my brothers wedding and had a major anxiety meltdown once I got home and I basically shut myself in my room for 3 days and barely ate or drink water because It was just that overwhelming to me. Before that I haven't been to any kind of social gathering in many years.

I was also teased quite a bit my aunts about "where's your gf?" "I thought you were the one getting married, not your little brother!" "When's your wedding?" "You're a handsome man! Any girl would be happy to be with you!" which were annoying to say the least.

I'm just very transparent about my situation and mental health. I know most people are embarrassed about these real issues that are affecting them but I've never given a fuck about highlightin the harsh realities of this fucked up matrix.

Trust me this is nothin compared to some people who are legit virgins in their 50s. I lost my cherry when I was 27 at a brothel just to get that stigma off my back. I've since experienced deep affection quite a few times, but I've always lacked affection regardless.

This isn't to shame anyone as I'm shaming myself, you may be aware but I'm notorious on here for keepin it real. The PS5 board will testify to that. I don't sugercoat shit, if anythin we need to foster an open culture about these things because too many lives are lost through fear and indignation.

I see. We're more similar than it originally sounded. Though, I used to be fine with being alone. Until I turned 30/31. That's when I started to realize how far behind everyone I was, and it became a trigger for me to see others succeed. Doesn't really matter where, irl, on here, on TV/movies, in games, magazines, books, whatever.

The envy I feel for others has eaten away at me for years, and I hate it. I hate that I let myself become this way.